What do women want? Freud never found a definitive answer to his famous question, but the blogger who calls himself Delusion Damage thinks he’s got it figured out: women want men who can kill people with their bare hands.
DD is a sort of compound MRA-PUA who argues for “Men’s Liberation Through ‘Game,’” as he put it in a Spearhead post some months ago. Apparently, if dudes learn how to get the hot babes to give them strings-free sexy times, through the magic of “game,” this will help to “reduce the unilateral enslavement of men through marriage.”
And what attracts the ladies more than the ability to kill? Not much, apparently. If you’ve got that magic killing touch, everyone around you will sense your manly power:
You are a man. A man is a survivor, a hunter, a protector of loved ones. The essence of manliness is controlled power. … That is what women love and what other men respect. Women, most of them anyway, are unable to use force and must rely on men where force is required. … If you lack the ability to kill other people with your bare hands, you will be perceived as if something is missing from your manliness. …
If you can kill, the ladies will pick up on this instantly:
[H]aving the ability substantially raises the value she instinctively perceives you to have. Which, as we know, leads to all manner of good things.
I believe he’s referring to blowjobs.
Oh, and other dudes will be impressed, too:
The respect of other men is also greatly influenced by your killing ability. Up until graduation from high school, the male social hierarchy has a great deal to do with “who can beat up whom”, and although the hierarchy among adult men is more dependent on social and professional status signals, men never stop instinctively evaluating you by what they perceive your killing ability to be, and respecting or disrespecting you accordingly.
And this will set you apart from all the wimpy emo hipsters of the world, who couldn’t even fight a girl:
If there is a “defining” degree of killing ability that makes you “manly”, it is defined by comparison with the female of the species. …
In these dismal times, men who fall short of this line are not terribly rare. Many of the emaciated hipsters and cubicle-dwellers of our generation would have trouble against a Juanita from a rougher neighborhood. These men, due to their lack of killing ability, are seen as unmanly by both men and women.
Meanwhile, your ability to kill will make others sit up and take notice:
The ability to kill makes your feelings relevant. If you lose your temper, someone dies.
This of course implies good things about you – the fact that you aren’t in jail right now means that you are a man in control of his emotions. A man who never loses his temper. Everyone around you subconsciously understands this and respects you for it. It lets people know they can trust you.
Yeah, nothing screams “trustworthy” more than a guy going on and on about how he could kill you with his bare hands.
Also, the ability to kill can help to prevent the ladies from blabbing endlessly about their stupid lady crap to you:
A woman who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will have less than three seconds to live from the second she makes you lose your temper is not going to set out to intentionally poke and prod you past your breaking point.
Aw, yeah, it’s good to be a potential bare-hands killer:
[Y]ou will be afforded a completely unprecedented kind of respect. …
When you are The Man, everyone around takes note. It is a form of celebrity. Women gravitate to you, pulled by the invisible streams of attention, respect and deference which we all subconsciously sense in any social situation.
Given the sort of adoring attention DD must get from the ladies, it’s sort of amazing that he finds time to even keep up a blog at all.
Ah, you’re an asshole.
Valerie,
who are the ALPHA bears? Would you rather date a guy who killed a grizzly or a polar bear?
Are teddy bears the betas? Does killing a teddy bear make a guy more or less dateable?
cynickal: I LOVE MILTON <3 <3 <3 MILTON IS THE BEST OMG PARADISE LOST OMGOMGOMGOMG SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
…We apologize for the interruption of your transmission by fangirl squee. Your regular misogyny mocking service will return momentarially.
I haven’t read any Milton, where should I start?
Judging by Oz’s response, Milton is definitely an alpha.
What about dire bears? Those things have like, twelve hit dice.
MissPrism: Don’t read the prose, seriously, Milton’s an asshat. His poetry is all brilliant, though.
So, according to this proximity theory, all a guy has to do is stand close to me and I’ll completely forget the vows I made to my husband (to keep his comfort, safety and joy above my own) and just run off and screw the guy who’s nearest me? Because… James Franco?
Urk. I’ll give it a go, but I’ve never really clicked with poetry except for nonsense verse. I’ve tried, really I have, but had to conclude there’s something wrong with my soul, like a mutation that leaves me unable to convert doggerelin into rhapsodic acid.
You guys can claim not working out, not learning how to fight isn’t important, but when the above scenario happens what are you going to do to prevent an alpha from stealing your girl? Try to put him to sleep with feminist rhetoric? Good luck with that.
Gee… I have brains (ignoring the fact that I am in the “can kill with my bare hands club”).
You tell him to stop. You point out that if he keeps it up, the bouncer is going to have a short chat with him. You point out that what he’s doing is sexual assault, and the 911, and two people’s statement will get him charged with a sex-offense.
Here’s the thing…. I’ve had guys get all up in my face. I look at them, tell them they don’t want to do that* (whatever stupid macho threat/invitation they’ve made) and wait.
I’ve never had one actually possess the balls to swing at me.
Maybe they think a slightly built white guy who’s willing to tell them they aren’t getting away with it is too crazy to fuck with, but I haven’t had anyone stupid enough to swing at me since I was in high school.
And you know what, when someone tries that crap, and loses the battle of wills, they don’t come back to that club/bar/place.
*in the situation described, the “Alpha” is as a structural,and moral, disadvantage; which means the basics of taking him down, are even easier.
I’m hearing this in Bea Arthur’s voice from History of the World. ‘Oh, you’re a bullshit artist!’
And the same goes for poetic prose. I want to like Woolf and Joyce but they leave me gnawing at the furniture hissing just tell me what happens next argh argh stoppit with all the words fucks sake the full stop key is right there use it.
Re Milton: I’d say the thing to read is the shorter verse. I am very fond of “On his blindness”
WHEN I consider how my light is spent
E’re half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide,
Lodg’d with me useless, though my Soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, least he returning chide,
Doth God exact day-labour, light deny’d,
I fondly ask; But patience to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts, who best
Bear his milde yoak, they serve him best, his State
Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o’re Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and waite.
(Poem 318 in the OBEV)
Miss Prism –
I like poetry, but I’m totally on board with you regarding poetic prose. It tends to be a major impediment to coherent storytelling. My experience trying to read Woolf was very similar to yours.
Pecunium: I love that one. 🙂
@cynickal: You obviously haven’t heard me expound on the brilliance of Milton. Charlie Sheen on a coke bender can’t stay awake for more than 5 seconds.
Jumping jeohosophat, Cynickal, have some pity for us eating our peanutbuttersammiches out here in tubeland. That line made me snort peanutbutter through my note, and then spend ten minutes cleaning the sticky off the keyboard.
Dante is better. *readies bomb shelter*
Davy Crockett killed him a bear when he was only three.
/delurk
“You guys can claim not working out, not learning how to fight isn’t important, but when the above scenario happens what are you going to do to prevent an alpha from stealing your girl? ”
Yep, cause straight or bi chicks wouldn’t have a say in being “stolen from” a guy they like/are dating/are married to. That would mean they’d be like people with standards or something.
/relurk
“You guys can claim not working out, not learning how to fight isn’t important, but when the above scenario happens what are you going to do to prevent an alpha from stealing your girl?”
Ask her if she brought condoms or if she needs to borrow one of mine?
Now that I think about it, I can’t see any reason why Alpha-Bears isn’t already a breakfast cereal. You have been remiss, General Mills!
Sharculese, it’s not me that thinks I’m being intellectual, but everyone else. I just say it as I see it, and it was cap’nbathtub that began obsessing over the way that I express myself, trying to pigeon-hole it. People employ this sort of distraction when they are unable to respond to the argument at hand. If you too think that I’m being intellectual, fine. See if I care.
Arks: That’s a fascinating story, but I think you meant to send it to Penthouse Forum, not here.
Good for you. Now I’ll say it as I see it.
Your prejudices are transparently idiotic. My evidence for that? What you have written in this thread. Anyone else care to say it as they see it?
Chuckee, besides “women suck,” what exactly is the argument you are putting forth? Women will fuck anyone in close proximity? State your thesis in a clear and concise manner and present evidence to support it; then and only then will anyone take your pretentions to being an intellectual the least bit seriously.
Oh, and the “I don’t care” gambit isn’t really fooling anyone. You care, desperately, that people perceive you to be an intellectual. Otherwise, you wouldn’t deign to respond to the taunts of a lowly, ignorant yahoo such as myself.