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Lady, killer; killer, lady.

What do women want? Freud never found a definitive answer to his famous question, but the blogger who calls himself Delusion Damage thinks he’s got it figured out: women want men who can kill people with their bare hands.

DD is a sort of compound MRA-PUA who argues for “Men’s Liberation Through ‘Game,’” as he put it in a Spearhead post some months ago.  Apparently, if dudes learn how to get the hot babes to give them strings-free sexy times, through the magic of “game,” this will help to “reduce the unilateral enslavement of men through marriage.”

And what attracts the ladies more than the ability to kill? Not much, apparently. If you’ve got that magic killing touch, everyone around you will sense your manly power:

You are a man. A man is a survivor, a hunter, a protector of loved ones. The essence of manliness is controlled power. … That is what women love and what other men respect. Women, most of them anyway, are unable to use force and must rely on men where force is required. … If you lack the ability to kill other people with your bare hands, you will be perceived as if something is missing from your manliness. …

If you can kill, the ladies will pick up on this instantly:

[H]aving the ability substantially raises the value she instinctively perceives you to have. Which, as we know, leads to all manner of good things.

I believe he’s referring to blowjobs.

Oh, and other dudes will be impressed, too:

The respect of other men is also greatly influenced by your killing ability. Up until graduation from high school, the male social hierarchy has a great deal to do with “who can beat up whom”, and although the hierarchy among adult men is more dependent on social and professional status signals, men never stop instinctively evaluating you by what they perceive your killing ability to be, and respecting or disrespecting you accordingly.

And this will set you apart from all the wimpy emo hipsters of the world, who couldn’t even fight a girl:

If there is a “defining” degree of killing ability that makes you “manly”, it is defined by comparison with the female of the species. …

In these dismal times, men who fall short of this line are not terribly rare. Many of the emaciated hipsters and cubicle-dwellers of our generation would have trouble against a Juanita from a rougher neighborhood. These men, due to their lack of killing ability, are seen as unmanly by both men and women. 

Meanwhile, your ability to kill will make others sit up and take notice:

The ability to kill makes your feelings relevant. If you lose your temper, someone dies.

This of course implies good things about you – the fact that you aren’t in jail right now means that you are a man in control of his emotions. A man who never loses his temper. Everyone around you subconsciously understands this and respects you for it. It lets people know they can trust you.

Yeah, nothing screams “trustworthy” more than a guy going on and on about how he could kill you with his bare hands.

Also, the ability to kill can help to prevent the ladies from blabbing endlessly about their stupid lady crap to you:

A woman who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will have less than three seconds to live from the second she makes you lose your temper is not going to set out to intentionally poke and prod you past your breaking point.

Aw, yeah, it’s good to be a potential bare-hands killer:

[Y]ou will be afforded a completely unprecedented kind of respect. …

When you are The Man, everyone around takes note. It is a form of celebrity. Women gravitate to you, pulled by the invisible streams of attention, respect and deference which we all subconsciously sense in any social situation.

Given the sort of adoring attention DD must get from the ladies, it’s sort of amazing that he finds time to even keep up a blog at all.

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Molly Ren
13 years ago

I think this is probably up there in my personal list of “PUA posts that make me feel the sickest”. It’s taken me a *huge* personal effort to trust people who are physically stronger than me/have had military training after watching my old high school acquaintances come back unstable with PTSD or hearing stories about Middies hazing gay men on my campus. “Damage” has just shit all over the idea that strength, respect, and even sanity can go together.

Leo Salloum
Leo Salloum
13 years ago

So my question is this: Can Mister Damage kill someone with his bare hands? Presumably he can, and presumably he believes that this has made him popular with the ladies. Do we believe that there are actual women who are reinforcing this bizarre opinion?

It seems more likely that Mister Damage is in some form of training regime: I imagine him mumbling to himself as he works out on a speedbag for hours on end:

“Soon,” he says eagerly, “Soon, I will be sufficiently deadly for the women to come line up at my door. ‘Oh Delusion…’ they will say ‘you’re such a lethal and yet well-restrained figure of masculinity.’ Yes… That’s what they will say…”

Maybe ‘Delusion’ is too formal. Does he imagine the ladies calling him “Del”? “Delly”? “Lucy”?

In any case, Lucy Damage is hard at work learning to kill people. Once he has learned how, he will go out on the town and will likely return home disappointed and disillusioned. At that point, he will need to come up with some other gender-essentialist theory for attracting women.

I say we should save him the trouble. What ideas do people have? Anything that seems man-related can be wrestled into the tortured logic of “what women truly desire is a man who…”

For example, once he’s done with homicide, our Lucy-poo could decide that all women are interested exclusively in men who know how to change a flat tire. Or that women desperately want men who know how to tie a bow tie. Or that women… you get the pattern. What ideas can we provide for poor Lucy when the cruel female world refuses to love him despite his well-developed punching powers?

magdelynswallows
13 years ago

What ever the merits of this guys argument, it is not purely out from left field. I’ll just leave this here: http://healthland.time.com/2011/02/08/do-popular-kids-bully-more/

Molly Ren
13 years ago

But Leo, do we have to taunt him by giving him a girl’s name? That’s not really a great insult. : /

“What ideas can we provide for poor Lucy when the cruel female world refuses to love him despite his well-developed punching powers?”

Damage, I always wanted a man who could do massage and wore emo clothing.

Molly Ren
13 years ago

Um, magdelynswallows? Did you read your own link? Because there’s this paragraph in it:

“Faris also found that the more kids cared about popularity, the more aggressive they were. Ironically, that’s pointless; hostile behavior did not cause rises in status. ‘The evidence suggests that overall aggression does not increase status,’ he says. Then again, it’s not whether it works that’s important. It’s whether the kids believe it works.”

So, what? We should excuse Damage because he has the same reasoning power as a high schooler and will ultimately be ineffective?

Pam
Pam
13 years ago

Pam: I’m firmly convinced that pulling that much history out of one’s ass much hurt.

Guess he doesn’t call himself Delusion Damage for no reason!

zombie rotten mcdonald
13 years ago

Lucy Damage is a great name for a woman in a punk band though.

Molly Ren
13 years ago

I keep wanting to make Damage’s post into another ManBoobz mad lib:

“You are a man. A man is a survivor, a hunter, a protector of loved ones. The essence of manliness is controlled snuggling. … That is what women love and what other men respect. Women, most of them anyway, are unable to use snuggling and must rely on men where snuggling is required. … If you lack the ability to snuggle other people with your bare hands, you will be perceived as if something is missing from your manliness. …

“[H]aving the ability substantially raises the value she instinctively perceives you to have. Which, as we know, leads to all manner of good things.

“The respect of other men is also greatly influenced by your snuggling ability. Up until graduation from high school, the male social hierarchy has a great deal to do with “who can snuggle whom”, and although the hierarchy among adult men is more dependent on social and professional status signals, men never stop instinctively evaluating you by what they perceive your snuggling ability to be, and respecting or disrespecting you accordingly.”

Leo Salloum
Leo Salloum
13 years ago

@Molly: I really didn’t mean ‘Lucy’ as an insult. Rereading my post, I can see how it looks as if I did.

How do you feel about calling him Del? To that end, a prose poem entitled Darling Del:

Desperately desirous of being ‘Deadly Del’, our darling Del deployed deliciously dated discussion and thereby deserved disrespectful, even derisive, deconstruction. Dear Del: desist from your dubious defense of death-dealing. Do deeper deeds, decent deeds, not deadlier and dopier ones.

MissPrism
13 years ago

So every woman wants a man she feels safe with but who is likely to kill her. Hmm.

There are a few martial artists and ex military types among my friends who, come to think of it, probably could kill a man if they really wanted to (they’re not all male). I don’t think I treat my other friends with less respect than them though. Does Mr Damage? If so, does he know what “friend” actually means to the rest of us?

budmin
budmin
13 years ago

Uhm…I agree with every friggin word Delusion Damage, I just use the safer term of “Violent Potential” instead of killing potential So Help Me GOD!!!!

CONSPIRACY OR FACT:
The T.v show “Everybody Loves Raymond” was a secret Feminist indoctrination campaign bent on turning Men of War like Frank Borone a Korean war vet and proud Killer in to PUSSY WHOOPED Robert Borone (6’7′ 275 lb, PISTOL PACKING NYPD OFFICER)

The Man of Yesterday against the Man of the Future…BOTH TRAINED KILLERS

But to succeed in their dastardly Plot FEMINIST have to DESTROY the self worth of the Man of today….

…..Ray Borone…..

the Moron..The Mama’s Boy…The Fool!!!!

CONSPIRACY OR FACT: U decide…(ominous music fade to black)

Molly Ren
13 years ago

*blinks a few times*

It’s like David K. Meller and NWOslave had a baby.

chocomintlipwax
13 years ago

*looks around at food*

*looks around at shelter*

*looks around and sees no men*

mind = blown

Totally anecdotal: I grew up in a house with a brother with a hair-trigger temper. Had to seriously tiptoe when I talked because sometimes he would just perceive that I had insulted him and then fly off the handle. Violently. I didn’t think, “Boy! My brother must be getting all kinds of pussy!” I thought, “I feel sorry for any woman who ends up marrying him.”

Also worth pointing out that he ended up being a virgin til he was 26 or 27. So there you go–being dangerous and violent? Not necessarily a formula for getting laid.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
13 years ago

Pam, I also found DD’s idea of women being useless in an emergency to be ridiculous. I guess he imagines most emergency situations require hand to hand combat, and that in his world no woman knows how to fight. I actually saw women in the Missouri National Guard and Americorps searching the remains of buildings in the damage path of Joplin looking for survivors after the tornado. My friend is a nurse, and she put in long hours at a makeshift hospital tending to people with horrific injuries. Delusion Damage would probably watch all that and say, “Hey, women are supposed to making sandwiches and giving blowjobs, not saving lives!”

His opinions on marital rape from the Spearhead article were even worse, in my opinion. I felt sick to read his theory that a wife’s body is her husband’s property. I couldn’t even make it through all the comments of the article. I think Delusion Damage is one of the most offensive MRA’s I have seen yet, and that’s really saying a lot.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
13 years ago

Budmin, are you a poe?

tryptamine
tryptamine
13 years ago

There was a fruit fly hanging around my house recently. No matter what I was doing, it seemed unable to find anywhere to fly around other than around my head. I tried and tried to squash it – when it landed near my milk, when it drifted in front of the computer screen, when it tried to climb up my nose. But no. “Dammit, vagina!” I cried, “I am trying to kill with my bare hands! Quit screwing this up!”

Budmin
Budmin
13 years ago

Of course not…What’s a “POE”

katz
13 years ago

My hypothetical context for how he came up with this idea:

Emo girl: I’m just not into guys like you.

DD: What kind of guys are you into?

Emo girl: The Killers.

DD: …

Kollege Messerschmitt
13 years ago

Budmin asking what a poe is reminds me of trolls asking what a troll is when called out on their trolling.
So it’s probably a safe bet that he is, in fact, a poe!

Better luck next time, budmin :3
4/10 for effort.

Leo Salloum
Leo Salloum
13 years ago

Budmin’s not a poe, he’s the innovator behind a brand new type of literary theory! Violent Potential Theory can explicate all of the great works of literature. Watch and learn:

CONSPIRACY OR FACT?
The play “Hamlet” was a secret feminist indoctrination campaign designed to demonize King Claudius (Bad ass king of Denmark, willing to poison his OWN brother and bang his sister-in-law) and replace him with pussy Hamlet who can’t kill anyone properly (he killed Polonius instead of Claudius, and spent all sorts of time navel-gazing which men don’t do).

Even though Hamlet could have been redeemed at the end by a kick-ass swordfight, the feminist author (who was probably a woman — or a gay!) decided that finally acting like a MAN was something that had to be punished. So Hamlet died.

CONSPIRACY OR FACT? YOU DECIDE!

I decide that Budmin is now one of my heroes.

Budmin
Budmin
13 years ago

Go ahead, make jokes…

It’s just like when I discovered that feminist were behind the NBA and NFL Lock outs as part of their plan to replace Football Sunday with dancing with the stars…

One day the world will see my genius…and when they make a movie about me, I want to be Will Smith to play my Role.
 I SHALL BE VINDICATED….

FelixBC
FelixBC
13 years ago

Poe. It’s the word “dastardly” that gives it away.

jumbofish
jumbofish
13 years ago

XD XD XD

I hope to Poe one day like you Budmin!

katz
13 years ago

Poe, no question. Knock it off.