From Human Stupidity, an MRA blog rather obsessed with underage girls and the alleged evil of age of consent laws:
[I]f a 15 year old … can decide to have sex with a 16 year old … [h]ow come she cannot have sex with a 35 year old? Age discrimination by law?
Are you worried about manipulation of the tender 15 year old? I have a solution:
what about legalizing sex with underage adolescents, if they first undergo an hour of mandatory counselling and a 2 day cool off period? That should take care of this issue. This would guarantee safety for the 15 year old against being conned or manipulated. More safety that is offered to 21 year old tipsy Friday night party girls who may feel sorry for what they did yesterday
I think he might actually be serious here. Though it’s pretty clear he’d be happy with any excuse to make it legal for 35 year-old men to have sex with 15 year-old girls.
Hey Brandon, do these women get to date other men while they’re seeing you?
Brandon, “Also, I have little sympathy for people that have children when they know they can not afford them or reasonably take care of them…it’s borderline abuse.”
I agree with that.
I also think polyamory is fine for childless couples but not for those with children.
Brandon: Why do we keep mentioning the issue of spousal support? Because you keep mentioning how much your fear of it plays in your resistance to marriage: In this very page of comments you said:
While I have my own personal feelings towards marriage, this recent thread has been about subjecting people to obligations which that person did not agree to or approve.
It seems that just because someone has a live in boyfriend or girlfriend…that entitles him/her to compensation, money or anything else for that matter if that relationship fails…it doesn’t. Both parties pack their shit and go separate ways. Case closed, end of story.
The state is allowing one person to take something from someone else (home, inheritance, etc…) without that persons approval. Which is wrong and immoral.
Alimony Are you trying to say men aren’t the majority of payers when it comes to alimony payments?
Now, you will argue that you aren’t conflating the two numbers, but you don’t make it plain that the requirements the law imposes to grant alimony are very narrow.
You also imply that people who get married aren’t doing it with the awareness of the results of the marriage failing (that would be what the law calls, “implied consent”, and which you charatarise as “without that person’s approval”).
3) You should be paid because you are taking care of your own shit? That is your house, your kids, your everything…That’s like asking someone to pay me for cleaning my own bathroom.
Um… I happen to have be a professional cook. I know what my labor is worth when I cook. I know what it costs to pay someone to come and do a lot less than the housework a stay at home spouse does. What sort of co-habital harmony do you think is going to ensue if the stay at home partner cooks only for themselves, only cleans the things they dirty, etc.
Honestly, what do you think that is going to lead to?
I’ll bet it’s, “irreconcilabe differences,” and no spousal support.
4) What benefit? The benefits of a stay at home spouse can be replaced with a weekly maid and day care. That is why we have dishwashers and washing machines…and swiffers.
so, a weekly maid does all your dishes, all your laundry (collects, sorts, washes, folds, put in the hamper, etc), cooks the food, does the grocey shopping, plans the menus, washes the windows, shelves the books, changes the sheets, moves your winter clothes from/to storage, etc.
And does all that for how much money?
Have you priced day care? And what about the non-day care. I am sure the single parent one is going to become doesn’t think the non-day care hours takes any time at all, and an au pair/nanny is a trivial expense.
I’ve been an au pair. I earned every penny; and I was paid salary on top of room and board. Good luck finding it for less than 600 a month, on top of room and board.
5) Fairness my ass. Everyone knows that if you remove yourself from the job market…you are fucking yourself over in the future. And again…the non-working partner made a decision to have a diminished earning potential.
And the working partner was completely uninvolved in it. So who was fucking whom over,and who is fucking whom if the marriage dissolves and the answer is, “you knew what could happen… so if you are screwed now it’s all your fault.”
Swell idea of fair you’ve got there… in plain English it reads a lot more like, “Fuck you Jack, I’ve got mine.”
The way I structure my relationships, I am unable to actually cheat. The women I am with know up front what to expect. If she chooses to continue the relationship…well that’s on her.
You’re talking like love doesn’t exist, like you don’t care whether or not you’ll hurt her.
Brandon: BTW, my buddy actually is an attorney and I asked him if marriage was contract. He said marriage is in it’s own “special category” and depending on the lawsuit it can be treated just like a contract.
In plain English… that means marriage isn’t a contract. It’s in its own special category, and depending on the lawsuit can be treated like a contract.
Hey Brandon, do these women get to date other men while they’re seeing you?
Well, he believes women want commitment in general and men don’t in general, so he might not believe they’re capable of something on the side to the same extent men are. But considering that he quotes Roissy with approval here, and one of the dealbreakers in the list is “the man catches the woman cheating,” I’m going to go with “he breaks up with her.”
Remember, he said explicitly that he wants a relationship on his terms.
Silly me, I lapsed and forgot he IS the axis on which the world turns. XD
Then he’s totally misusing the terms “poly” and “open relationship.” He should say “selfish dickbag,” but I guess that wouldn’t arouse passion or whatever.
He doesn’t seem to understand what poly means.
“You’re talking like love doesn’t exist, like you don’t care whether or not you’ll hurt her.”
If he links to Roissy, he probably doesn’t believe love exists, VoiP.
“I’m going to cheat on you, and if you don’t like that you can take a hike” is not poly.
Polyamory is love of multiple people–love, or at least relationship, not just fucking–actual love with the hugging and the talking and the silly little injokes and the enjoying each other’s company for its own sake. I’m not convinced you know how to do that with one person.
If your partner doesn’t know about and doesn’t get any say about the other people you sleep with, that’s cheating, and the fact that they had a warning you’d do this (which I kinda doubt anyway; was this something you actually negotiated, or just a matter of “she should know what kind of man I am”?) doesn’t negate that.
Open and/or relationships actually require more attention and communication with your primary partner than monogamy, when you’re not a complete asshole.
“I’m going to cheat on you, and if you don’t like that you can take a hike” is not poly.
Don’t worry; there’s no way he can make you, Pecunium, MertyavaRuka, and Molly Ren look bad. Except insofar as he’s making Homo sapiens sapiens look kinda shabby…
If he links to Roissy, he probably doesn’t believe love exists, VoiP.
Aaah jeez, that is so sad.
So you can’t be trusted to make a commitment.
Got it.
It seems like you’re unable to maintain any type of interpersonal connection, but from your writing, I’m not all that surprised. “Relationships? Those are bridges best burnt.”
@Voip: Oh my god…I agree with roissy on one thing….that must mean I am exactly like him in every conceivable way.
@HellKell:I never said the world revolved around me. However I will assert myself in that world and attempt to get want I want.
Also, my relationship right now is monogamous. In the past, I have had multiple partners and I didn’t hold them to any exclusivity. What ever I could do, they could do.
@Holly: I know what poly is.
I find it funny that I get called an asshole by you so many times. If you knew me 10 years ago you wouldn’t think that at all. I was always friendly, polite, non-offensive around women because that is what I thought women wanted in a boyfriend.You know where that got me? Nowhere. It wasn’t until I became a brash jerk did I get women even noticing me.
I am not telling you this as a “poor me” story. I am telling you that the ways in which you want men to act…to not be assholes. doesn’t work. I was it’s poster child. Being an asshole, gets me more phone numbers, more dates, more sex, more friggin everything. I would rather people think I was too cocky then be thought of as “oh he seems nice”. I would rather be bold then muted.
So I have seen both extremes. Not being noticed and invisible to being a cocky asshole. More women like the cocky asshole.
So I actually take you calling me an asshole as a compliment.
Brandon wrote, “Oh my god…I agree with roissy on one thing….that must mean I am exactly like him in every conceivable way.”
Then he writes,
“I find it funny that I get called an asshole by you so many times. If you knew me 10 years ago you wouldn’t think that at all. I was always friendly, polite, non-offensive around women because that is what I thought women wanted in a boyfriend.You know where that got me? Nowhere. It wasn’t until I became a brash jerk did I get women even noticing me.”
“Every conceivable way” is a bit much, but you *are* doing a damn good impression.
Oh, the old “girls love assholes.”
(Usually followed up in rapid succession with “well, fine, hot girls like assholes.”)
I’m always curious just how asshole you go, then. Like, if it’s just a matter of not being so meek no one sees you, that’s not really “asshole.” Asshole is–well, to be blunt, it’s hurting people. So how far do you go with that? Do you insult people? Do you insult their mothers? Do you insult their mothers who have just died? Do you try to make people cry? Do you ever physically attack people? Because that would be super asshole, and by backwards logic, super sexy!
Do you go on blogs pontificating about how you don’t care what anyone thinks because you are so cool and you don’t care about women because you’re not a woman and you don’t care about politics because you’re in Massachusetts and BRANDON BRANDON BRANDON OH GOD I LOVE BRANDON WON’T YOU ALL WORSHIP BRANDON WITH ME?
That’s fairly asshole too–more “annoying” than “hurting,” sure, but it’s causing discomfort of a sort–and yet I gotta tell ya, I still wouldn’t fuck ya with a borrowed dick.
@Molly: As I have said before. I treat Roissy like a off color comedian. Most of his stuff is blah, but he has a few interesting posts.
Birth control fails, laws get repealed (also, I am looking at the cost of one plan with a deductible of $3,000 and a monthly cost of $286, even if she did have insurance, that is still a high hospital bill for MA), and life is not this cut and dry thing you assume it is. You would kick her out because she, in the situation I described (which happens all the time), would be abusing the child by your very own definition if she no longer had the means to support the child.
Or are you going to stop claiming someone who has a child-regardless of the financial condition of that person-is abusing their kid by not having enough money…especially in today’s economy?
Very few of the partnered men I know act like assholes on a regular basis. They are kind to their partners and those around them, they make an effort to minimize their asshole moments, and are in general people I’m proud to call friends and relatives. If you think that more or most women like assholes, then I’m afraid that your sample is flawed.
@Holly: Those are just awful. There is a difference between walking through the world and being indifferent to being a flat out prick.
Being a good man means you don’t go around purposely being mean to people. But you don’t get walked on either. It serves me no purpose and is counter-productive to go around and be a prick like that. If anything I am a blunt smartass.
And seriously? Who the hell am I hurting? My mother? Nope. Family? Nope. Friends? Nope. Girlfriend? Nope. In fact, I just finished visiting my mother for dinner.
I care about a lot of things. They just aren’t the things you care about.
Brandon: If you have so little in common with commentors here, why not find (or found) another blog that is more to your tastes? it’s really not all that difficult.
@Elizabeth: Having a child is not something that should be taken lightly. And if you are going to bring a child into this world, I think it behooves you to make sure you can look after the child properly. Expecting you or that child to have a decent life when you don’t have a pot to piss in, means you aren’t thinking about the welfare of the child…hence abuse.
@KathleenB: Because I like you.
Oh, is “asshole” one of those words, like “slut,” that I should have looked up in the Brandon Dictionary first?
@Holly: I should look into that…my own dictionary. I like it!