It’s time for another random creepy comment with dozens of upvotes from The Spearhead! This time the commenter is a fella named Rebel, envisioning an epic future battle between the ladies and the dudes.
Women are engaged in a “holy crusade” against the male gender.
If men rise up, they will face an enemy who is willing to die, rather than give an inch. Women are possessed, their brains are anything but human.
They are lost to us.
I read that the universe is trying to acquire consciousness through us humans.
Some force is holding us back in darkness and we know what that force is.
Darth Vader? The CIA? The IRS? Cats? Oh, wait, ladies. Right?
If men revolt, the ensuing fight will come to epic proportions.
What’s at stake: nothing less than civilization.
But there’s a surprise ending! If you’re a dude, and want to avoid this epic battle, you can just move south of the border:
Is there an escape?
I think there is.
It’s called South America.
At least for now.
Hmm. South America didn’t work out so well for (SPOILER ALERT!) Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
But I guess Rebel knows this, because he ends with:
But if men are not prepared to fight an unnatural war, they will be reduced to slavery (at least those lucky enough to avoid elimination).
Yipes.
On a completely unrelated note, my cat has taken to drinking out of cups. Putting her whole head in them to do so. It’s the cutest damn thing.
I guess that’s not a completely unrelated note, as she’s been waging an unnatural war against me (and everyone else) since I first took her in as an overgrown kitten, barefoot and pregnant, more than a decade ago. Thankfully I am much larger than she is, otherwise I’d be dead.
Unnatural war? Would that be against undead? Or wizards? Or undead wizards?
‘Cause I’m pretty sure all I can claim is being a 2nd or 3rd level monk and liches are at least 16th…
Maybe it would be against sparkly vampires? They’re pretty unnatural . . .
To be fair, Spearhafoc, I think “Gaze upon my bone-chilling trilby hat!” is a pretty appropriate response to just about anything.
Und face eet, novone vill try und defeet hyu vor hyuor trilby hat.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, genderqueers would be from… Earth?
Since it’s between the other two, assuming they all lined up in their orbits in a way they don’t actually ever do…
Spearhafoc, you are the cutest thing evah. Feel free to post that in every thread.
Notice how many familiar names there are in that thread? So odd, I feel like I’ve gone over to their house to listen in through an open window. But hey, public forum.
I will now write my bestselling book of gender theory, Genderqueers Are From Earth! The masses will flock to buy it, I’m sure.
Ozy: I think the Genderqueers are from the yet to be discovered planet Tiresias.
Although damnit, Genderqueers Are From Earth! is a damn good title.
Cats drinking out of glasses? Pics or it didn’t happen!
Surely this is a reference to the dark matter that might be lending the universe its “missing” mass, right? This guy seems like a real smart, educated type. I mean, he even says he can read!
My cat drinks from glasses by sticking her paw in, dabbing up water, then licking it off. It’s become a problem, in that we cannot leave a glass of water unattended without the cat putting her foot in it, but we can’t stop her because it’s adorable.
And after the war is over all the men can cuddle their robots and cry about how horrible us women are.
Let them come down here and face the splendid Argentinian feminism. Bring it on, Rebel!
This post made me laugh out loud…I just read the comments out to my mum in a DRAMATIC VOICE 😀
Laura, I think it’d be funny if Gerard Butler from 300 did Rebel’s line in a loud, angry voice before the Spartans go to battle. Mel Gibson from Braveheart would also work.
This. Is. MISOGYNY!
talking about women and war: women have always been involved in revolting against oppressive power structures, but amazingly enough, usually alongside MEN in their family/class/ethnic group/etc.
Find me ONE historical citation (novels and plays do not count) of an event where women organized to take up weapons to fight men physically (no, “take back the night” and “Slutwalks” do not count, and NO nobody ever burned any freaking bras)
By Rhian Jones, posted at Bad Reputation
I think this would make a fabulous piece of avante garde Youtube theatre.
My cats also enjoy drinking out of cups. It’s simultaneously cute and exasperating. Particularly the latter when it’s three a.m. and they’re perched on my head to reach the glass of water on the night stand >.<
Yeah, my cat drinks the water on my nightstand too. So now I have to cover it, or put it on my nightstand after I have put her out for the night.
The picture with this article instantly cheered me up!
Laugh it up ladies.
Here is a challenge: what is the last time that a systematic dehumanization campaign did NOT eventually transform into a physical extermination campaign? Hint: think 1800s.
Rebel may not be the most eloquent writer in history, but he is 100% correct about one thing:
Feminism is an existential threat to all men and boys. If men do nothing, this gendercidal war can only end in one way: indentured servitude, concentration camps, and euthanasia.
Our younger cat shoves almost her entire head into the water bowl. Then she looks all confused when she has water dripping down her chest and we’re laughing…
AntZ: You really, really need to put down the hallucinogens. I’m afraid the effects might be permanent soon.
except feminism isnt a ‘systemic dehumanization campaign’
oh right, you had to look at a poster of a dude in a sweatshirt. visions of kristallnacht indeed.
@ithiliana
“talking about women and war: women have always been involved in revolting against oppressive power structures, but amazingly enough, usually alongside MEN in their family/class/ethnic group/etc.”
Women have been involved alrighty. The same role they always play, chearleaders of death. Turn on any newscast and listen to women interviewing other women about their “feelings” about what can only be termed as the “womens war” in Libya and Afganistan.
Oh, how the women love to talk about their “feelings.” They chit-chat back and forth on every station to the women in Libya. “How do you ‘feel’ about the battle over there in Libya?” Asks the pretty newscaster. “Oh, it’s so liberating to see our ’cause’ being fought for,” exclaims the equally pretty girl from Libya. How they fall all over each other in mutual admiration of their beloved opinions of each others opinions.
And the women who are loyal to whatever government is present, whom they support give their interviews in a parallel performance of heartfelt “feelings.” What a beautiful sight it is to see, as these women tug at each others emotions in an epic display of admiration and solidarity.
Go fight! Go kill! Go die! The women scream on every side. The women on the attacking side shame their men into war, saying, “Look! They treat their women poorly over there. How would you feel if that was your wife or mother or daughter? Go fight! Go kill! Go die!” And the women on the defending side shame their men and scream, “Look! they’ve come to attack us! Are you cowards? Won’t you protect you wife and mother and daughter? Go fight! Go kill! Go die!”
When the “womans war” is finally over, these same women will give another performance equally powerful and heartfelt. They’ll sit there “weeping” in sorrow at the atrocities of “man.” They’ll whip the audience into a fenzy of tumuluous tears, interviewing woman after woman to describe the horror committed by “man.” They’ll point their fingers at the evil men on the losing side, crying out for more blood, while they sit there with their tear stained faces judging the actions of men.