Say what you will about the dedicated PUAs (Pick-Up Artists) of the world: at least they sometimes actually talk to real human women. The guys in Reddit’s Seduction subreddit, I’m not so sure about.
It’s kind of sad, sometimes, to read the plaintive requests for advice on Seddit (as it’s known) from college guys who’ve fixated on some girl in some class of theirs, and want desperately to learn the secret formula to get into her pants. These aren’t guys who’ve mastered the art of “negging” women with clever little mini-insults (a favorite PUA technique); these are guys who haven’t quite grasped that you have to actually talk to a woman in order to ask her out.
Take this query, recently posted there:
My suggestion?
Write “coffee?” on your forehead, and stand in front of her. Point at your forehead if necessary.
So, yeah, I’ve been banned from Seddit.
Look, I feel for the guy. I’ve been that guy.
But just think of it from the point of view of the girl. Some guy you’ve never spoken to, some guy who doesn’t know a thing about you other than you make him feel funny in his pants, approaches you out of the blue and … slips you a note?
But really, the problem there isn’t the note. Well, part of the problem is the note, But the main problem is that college dude has never spoken to her before. As anyone who has watched Seinfeld knows well, “coffee” means “sex.” Going up to a woman you’ve never spoken to before and asking her out is a bit like saying “hi, you make me feel funny in my pants. I would like to put my penis in you. Perhaps we could chat a bit first. Though, clearly, I don’t care what’s in your actual brain, because here I am asking you out based on nothing more than the fact that you cause that aforementioned feeling in my pants.”
Pro-tip for lonely guys: remember that women are actual human beings also.
Now, this poor Sedditor got some good basic advice from the crowd there, basically boiling down to: figure out an excuse to talk to her before class, and see how it goes.
Now, Seddit may be mildly useful in giving this sort of basic advice to the truly hapless. But it doesn’t seem to be very good at getting across the notion that women are human.
Indeed, there was a strikingly similar question posted in Seddit a couple of days ago: a guy who wanted to ask out the only girl in his engineering class. His post, in stark contrast with the note guy, was bristling with PUA acronyms and lingo: the girl was an “HB8” (Hot Babe that he rated an 8 of 10 on the hotness scale); he was on the lookout for IOSs (Indications of Interest) from her, and so on and so on.
But his strategy was strikingly similar to that of the AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) with the note: he was going to walk up to her after class and ask her out for dinner. But he was planning to add one more “technique” to his approach: “kino.” In PUA-speak, kino means touch.
So, yeah, that’s what he learned from all his study of advanced PUA-oloogy: just start touching her! Women are eager to jump into bed with guys who come up to them out of the blue and start groping them. (The post itself was deleted after it got linked to in the ShitRedditSays subreddit, so no link.)
Trouble is, this guy is not the only one getting the message that Pick-up artistry is all about invading a woman’s personal space and “escalating” until she literally fights you off or given is. This is, in fact, the basic message of the PUA who calls himself Gunwich – a man who not that long ago (allegedly) shot a woman I the face after she refused his advances.
And, yes, pressuring a woman until she gives in, or up, is one way of getting in her pants. It’s also, you know, rape.
In recent days a number of Sedditers have posted advice that is little more than a how-to of date rape. A number of instances were pointed out in ShitRedditSays, and were deleted by the Seddit moderators. It’s clear this is damage control; a number of regulars on ShitRedditSays have been banned from posting in Seddit – many of whom had actually never posted there in the first place.
Here’s a discussion of one copy-and pasted date rape guide that got deleted before anyone made a screencap.
The Seddit mods say this is “fringe” stuff that doesn’t reflect how most Sedditors think. Then how is it that some of the creepiest comments get dozens of upvotes? Take this Sedditor’s advice on how to get inside a woman’s house (and then her pants) that I managed to screencap before it was deleted:
Now, there is plenty of PUA material that is not rapey. Manipulative, sure. Dopey, absolutely. But not rapey. A good Pick-Up Artist, in theory at least, should be able to tell when a woman is interested and when she isn’t, and move on when she isn’t.
But it’s clear that many Sedditors aren’t learning that whole “if she’s not interested, move on” thing. They’re learning: “if she’s not interested, pressure her and manipulate her, and wear her down. And be sure to touch her. Sorry, “kino escalate.”
They’re not learning empathy. They’re learning stupid human tricks. And, worse, they’re learning to ignore a woman’s “no,” to treat it as what PUAs call LMR – that is, Last Minute Resistance. And that’s pretty much a formula for date rape.
“Cause there’s nothing I like more than thrashing the shit out of people who consider themselves intelligent.”
Really? Then why didn’t you have a response to my last comment? Surely if you’re so superior in your intelligence, it shouldn’t have given you trouble.
I suppose there’s a limit to how out of touch even you can be with what people actually say. If throwing around some ignorance and Banana Logic doesn’t work, just ignore it completely! If you don’t acknowledge that it was ever said, it’s like it never happened, right?
David: For starters, I’m not in Bucharest. I’m in Arad, which is on the other side of the country. And if writing the same way is an indication, I could accuse 90% of the people on this blog of being the same person. Still, I’m not gonna sit here and defend myself because I honestly don’t care that much. If you want to ban me, feel free. You don’t have to justify yourself to me or anyone. And that’s my last word on this foolishness.
Ok, I had to let that one from Johnny/Ion through moderation too.
Google said Bucharest. I’ll take your word on your location.
But I forgot to mention, as CB (I think) pointed out to me before, that Ion is the Romanian equivalent of the name John.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ion_%28name%29
Three strikes, dude.
“Evolution is impossible, because otherwise we’d be able to watch dogs evolve into super-dogs.”
Sweet, this means that Monsanto has proven evolution. Their gene modification and monopoly on herbicide use has not only given rise to super weeds but also super insects in Iowa cornfields!
http://motherjones.com/tom-philpott/2011/08/monsanto-gm-super-insects
A friend of mine was raped by a guy using that “I’d like to use your bathroom” line. They hadn’t had any kind of sexual contact before he raped her; they just shared a taxi as they were going to the same area, he “walked her home” even though she didn’t want him to, they were both very drunk (or at least she was) and after using the bathroom, he refused to leave. Eventually she fell asleep with him still there, and he raped her in her sleep.
I wonder if that guy thought he was “escalating” like the advice-giving pick up artists on the website told him to. I wonder if he bragged on websites afterwards about the HB9 he had “sex” with. I find it hard to find words to express the depth of my contempt and rage for people like that who are enabling and training rapists.
Dating gaming is such tiring hassle for male who do not already have it as personal hobbyfun. If female rejects male, male feel like fool for wasting time having got nothing for effort and pride feels insulted because male feel like weakling. If female approves male, male still feel like fool for wasting time having go through formality and pride still feels insulted because male feel like beggar. Much better for male to simply take what would female give free anyway, even if male not ask at all. This where desirable to have females do approaching to male. Spares male from getting pride insulted and saves time since male not bother chasing females. However, this only works if male True Alpha, so male blessed with “groupies” (of course, True Alpha blessed only if groupies really sexy). If male Beta or Gamma, no such luck, and you have to go through whole tedious courtship process. If male True Omega, females either flee on sight or sic other males – usually “white knights” on True Omega. Life of modern male very difficult indeed! but maybe only if male is straight. Don’t know how life if male is gay or bi. Only know life of straight male is not easy.
All this talk about superdogs means I have to re-read Watchers by, Dean Koontz, which contains a really touching portrait of a superdog—-yes, I’m serious—-and what it means for humankind, for the dog himself, and for the failed experiment who didn’t quite get there.I was sniffling like mad at various places in the book. So…you know. Okay.
Re: Superdogs
“I was hiding under the porch because I love you.”
That is all.
As long as we’re recommending books with super dogs: Grant Morrison and Frank Quietly’s We3. Get it. Now.
Daphne: SQUIRREL!
I was at a club one night with my friend, my friend’s friend and my friend’s friend’s friend. We were having a good enough time and just bantering amongst ourselves in the booth we were sitting. Then out of nowhere my friend’s friend’s friend started stroking my knee and I was like “I’m sorry, who the fuck are you again?” We weren’t even talking one on one, everyone was chatting as a group and I didn’t know this guy outside of being my friend’s friend’s friend. I guess I was lucky my boyfriend showed up soon enough before the guy could ask me for coffee or to use my bathroom…
FWIW, I wasn’t specifically trying to get Johnny/Ion banned.
Of course, they could be two different people with the same name posting from the same connection, but the “I don’t really care” act was the icing on the cake.
@blitzgal
“Sweet, this means that Monsanto has proven evolution. Their gene modification and monopoly on herbicide use has not only given rise to super weeds but also super insects in Iowa cornfields!”
If you people want to believe life/evolution is a natural event produced by rocks, by all means do so. Evolution tells us, in the begining all the mass of the universe was about the size of a fingernail, (before that they say they don’t know, maybe nothing). This mass of elements exploded in a spiral pattern obeying the laws of gravity, mass -vs-force and so forth creating the universe. Eventually the various elements coalesed into planets, stars, moons, dust and everything else. Finally, “life” was created because the conditions were ripe.
So now were up to the primordal stew part of the process. Now in order for the how ever many billions of different plants, animals, fish, microbes, or whatever to be created, that genetic code would’ve had to be present at the moment those single cell algae were first created. Or at least the genetic code enabling mass diversity would’ve had to have been present and created from the elements within that algae. Without that genetic code already existant in those single cells that were created life couldn’t exist or evolve. Since the dead rock we live on is no longer in life creating mode we can’t view this process taking place. We also can’t duplicate this process, Which would seem simple enough considering there’s a hundred or so elements, (I’ll leave it up to you to Wiki the exact number and find out the exact number of combinations possible).
Of course all this sounds suspicously like, In the begining there was nothing, then the heavens were created, (planets, stars, ect.), then the oceans and land, then the plants, then the fishes, then the animals, and finally man was created.
Your example of a “superweed” is an example of an intelligent life form, (humans) modifying an already existant genetic code. Not quite the same as creating a genetic code from dead elements, but an example of life being modified by intelligent life. I simply refuse to accept the theory that at one time a bunch of random elements were lying in a lava pool, which was possibly struck by lightening, and from that process the genetic code for all the billions of life forms sprang forth. I critically thought about that theory which was taught to me as a fact, and I reject it as false.
Witman:You’re taking an individual’s comments and making it seem mainstream when it was in fact deleted by the moderator. In the post about the Jezzibel chicks talking about the extermination of men in the “Why men rape” article, your defense was that it was deleted so it was not their policy.
I have caught you in your own hypocritical web Manboobz! Which is it Manboobz; does it count because it was said or does it not count because it was deleted?
I can’t speak to Dave’s motives, but I see a difference.
The redditors didn’t take it down when it was posted, but rather when it started to make them look bad.
That is a substantive difference.
Wait…NWO is a Creationist too? Or am I reading that wrong?
Also, NWO, how come you still haven’t answered me?
Would it be possible for this blog to adopt Pandagon’s stick rule? As in, can we ban NWO if the majority of the community agrees he is dumber or more boring than a stick? Because I often don’t get to these threads until NWO has turned them into a 300 comment slapfight and I can assure you, each thread he hijacks ends up being exactly the same. I can’t scroll through them fast enough lately.
I lost repect for Seddit when they told me that my advice regarding kino was invalid, becaue I’m a woman and rule number 1 is to never listen to advice from women (they don’t know what they want, duh). All I said was that kino should not be your focus, as some ladies (me included) are not ok with being touched a lot by someone they just met.
@shesaidwut
“Wait…NWO is a Creationist too? Or am I reading that wrong?”
Yes I am, and I’ve explained quite clearly why I am. I’m sure you find it mock-worthy, but since thinking for yourself runs counter to your ideology, I take whatever you say with a grain of salt as well.
—————————–
“Also, NWO, how come you still haven’t answered me?”
I’m asked so many which I answer while my questions are never answered. A case in point would be Ozzy dearest who claimed to answer my question, which I’ll post again.
—————————
One last comment before I hit the sack. I’d like to hear everyones opinion of what obviously shut Ozzy up. So lets find out who is smarter than a first grader, shall we? The first comment is by Doctress Ju’ulia. Now the second one I’ve regendered. And boy does it sound like manboobz mock worthy material. So here’s the question children…Since the regendered version is misogyny extreme, is the original misandry extreme? G’nite all.
—————————-
“Or, even better, I get hit on by the nastiest, dirtiest, slimiest, most toothless, strung out on heroin guys in the bar. Seriously. Last night I had not one but TWO drunk-ass heroin junkies try to buy me a drink/get my number. They kept trying to touch me and tell me how ‘beautiful’ I am. Ugh. Nice to know that these are, apparently, the highest quality men I can attract. /s”
——————————-
Or, even better, I get hit on by the nastiest, dirtiest, slimiest, most toothless, strung out on crack whores in the bar. Seriously. Last night I had not one but TWO drunk-ass crack whores hit on me to get me to buy them a drink. They kept trying to touch me and tell me how ‘hot’ I am. Ugh. Nice to know that these are, apparently, the highest quality women I can attract. /s
—————————-
This was Ozzy dearests’ response, which of course didn’t answer the question, but she did continue to stick up for her fellow feminist at all cost.
” NWO, love, you didn’t shut me up, I was out spending time with my friends. I realize you may be unfamiliar with the concept, but I’m sure with some effort you can master the general idea here.
And, no, no one is required to accept drinks from people who flirt with them, and no one is required to be polite about people who flirt with them. (It’s nice to be polite, but it doesn’t make you a bad person if you aren’t.)
Amd, no, I don’t have to talk to people I don’t want to talk to. Why would I? That’s just a bizarre rule.”
owlslave if youre going to dip into the backlog of unanswered questions i still want to know what it is you think a corporation is
“Because I often don’t get to these threads until NWO has turned them into a 300 comment slapfight and I can assure you, each thread he hijacks ends up being exactly the same. I can’t scroll through them fast enough lately.”
Honestly, I’ve reached the same point, too, though at least one gets a LITTLE variety with his craziness every once in a while (Like the “THIS MAKES YOUR CREDIT CARD BILL RELEVANT, if not, it’s not real” crazinesss).
I guess it depends on how long you’ve been here…or how bored you are?
shesaidwut: Yup, you’re reading that right. NWO has admitted to being a Creationist in other threads as well.
And I’m done being nice to you. Sick or not, here goes.
Only a fucking idiot, one who is completely disconnected with reality, remains a creationist in this day and age. Literally every single claim offered by it has been refuted; the scientific position of evolution is the only one with any basis remaining. Evolutionary theory has had predictive power; that is strong evidence that it’s mostly correct, and while it’s surely incomplete (And will be until and unless we find some sort of Grand Unifying Theory), it is the only way to explain the geological and biological evidence. Your inability to grasp evidence, or even evolutionary theory itself (Superdogs? No.) does not speak to a theory supported by more than a literal one million studies, only you.
kysokisaen & redlocker: Yeah, I am getting pretty bored of NWOslave too. David K. Meller is probably the closest thing we have to an exciting troll, if only because he sounds like a Dr. Bronner’s soap ad.
“Yes I am, and I’ve explained quite clearly why I am. I’m sure you find it mock-worthy, but since thinking for yourself runs counter to your ideology, I take whatever you say with a grain of salt as well.”
You…wouldn’t happen to be an Objectivist, while we’re at it? Cause you sound like one.
Seeing as how being autistic makes it hard for me to absorb, well, anything through society, I think for myself just fine. Automatically. At times very much to my detriment. Not that you seem to know anything about how the neuroatypical brain functions, but since you seem to be neurotypically illiterate as well, I’m not sure what to really make of that.
And yes, I do find it mock-worthy. It does explain ever so much, like your style (I use the word loosely) of argumentation.
“I’m asked so many which I answer while my questions are never answered. A case in point would be Ozzy dearest who claimed to answer my question, which I’ll post again.”
If you simply ignore or deny the very existence of the answers people give you, then it is virtually impossible for anyone to ever actually answer you. Through no fault of their own, I might add.