This text-as-image comment, posted to Reddit, has 468 net upvotes the last I checked. (Here’s the original post it’s responding to.)
Truly, the most heart-wrenching thing about rape is that those courageous souls who make jokes about it are sometimes made to feel a little bad about it on the internet.
“Although I have noticed quite often among feminists (along with some other groups, like for ex. fundamentalist religious types) that, while readily mocking and laughing at others, they have absolutely no ability to laugh at themselves. So maybe that has something to do with your attitude.”
You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?
Here’s the basic rule of humor; it’s the same as the basic rule of language. Do not use humor to punch people and groups who are already down. You can, and should, be able to mock yourself before others; but if the rest of society is joining in, or if life itself is physically doing it (Although both are the case with rape survivors), maybe you should back the fuck off. Real people have a little bit more on the line than 2 minutes frowning at someone at the net.
Seriously, it’s the difference between, for instance, Dat Phan’s routines on his life as a Vietnamese immigrant, what his mother does, etc, and those idiotic Korean jokes gamer geeks love. Or anything Daniel Tosh has ever said about any racial minority.
Jokes can be hilarious when they’re set to offend, but you need to be aiming higher, not lower, to do it.
Wisteria – I lol’d.
And, okay, humor. I’m not willing to draw and hard and fast lines for what is acceptable, or not. And I respect that dark humor can be a coping mechanism in some situations.
However. If you make a joke out of something that is generally considered a horrific experience, and someone is upset by that, YES, you are that asshole.
And you know, you have every right to be an asshole. This doesn’t just apply to rape jokes. It applies to how you interact with people in general. But while you have the right to be an insensitive asshole, I have every right to avoid you at all costs, because why would I want to hang out with that asshole? So, yeah, make your triggering jokes. Don’t expect anyone to pat you on the back for it. Don’t expect them to give you the benefit of a doubt. You have decided to be that asshole.
Also, I like Rutee’s basic rule of humor.
A first-wave, a second-wave, and a third-wave feminist are talking and come up with a brilliant way to bring about women’s liberation. They decide to tell their movements about it and come back a week later.
When they they meet again, and the first-wave feminist says: “My compatriots in the fight for suffrage think it is a most excellent idea, and will organize a worldwide conference to discuss it.”
The second-wave feminist says: “My sisters at the conciousness-raising think it’s a groovy idea, and we’re going to have a march to campaign for it.”
And the third-wave feminist says: “My tweeps think it’s an awesome idea, lol.”
—
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten – One to change the light bulb and nine to form a support group for survivors of darkness.
—
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five to discuss how the patriarchy put the system in place that requires the lightbulb to be changed in the first place, two to write blogs and one to write a zine about changing the lightbulb, three to derail the lightbulb changing into their own pet project, a solid group to organize a seminar about empowering young women to change the lightbulb in the next generation, and seventeen to make folk or electropop albums about their views on lightbulb changing.
The only rape joke that could possibly be funny to me would have to involve something bad happening to the rapist.
Lorena Bobbit and a rapist walk into a bar……
“Well, why else would these guys care? If they have a thick skin and can toughen up and let it roll off their backs because they have a sense of humor… why does it bother them that people are offended?”
Because heterosexual, cis, middle class white dudes get to decide what’s offensive and what isn’t, obvs. Everything in the world should be marketed and geared toward their sensibilities. It’s their comedy needs that should be met and catered to.They are the “rational center” in any public discourse… If they taken out of this position it’s a form of discrimination, or “reverse-discrimination”, as they like to put it.
But once again, an MRA has shown up, made a completely inane statement, and succeeded in changing the narrative to his advantage. Johnny B has made this entire conversation about proving that feminists can laugh at themselves–and, therefore, about mocking feminists–when that has nothing to do with rape jokes.
First they came for the rape joke tellers,
and I didn’t speak out, because I wasn’t a complete idiot.
Humor, like so many other thing, should comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
katz, you’re right, but I just looked up this skit from Portlandia, so I’m going to post it. Carrie Brownstein, guitarist for Sleater-Kinney, and a feminist, making fun of (a certain kind of) feminists:
Rutee – I don’t know if you’re an angsty teenager who thinks it’s ‘cool’ to swear all the time, or just a headcase with Tourette’s syndrome, but I won’t waste my time on somebody who can’t even be bothered to employ basic civility. Consider yourself permanently ignored.
Really? Damn, I guess I dreamed all those shows and commercials where middle-class white dudes are the (sole) butt of all the jokes. Also, somebody should tell Chris Rock, BET and Lifetime and the Oxygen Network that they’re doing it wrong…
Oh, go away. This is not about you.
Yeah, I’d better let you get back to your little let’s-make-fun-of-people-who-disagree-with-us clique.
Show of hands: Who would rather listen to Rutee than Johnny?
*hand up*
*Hand up.
Johnny_b, the door’s thataway. Try not to let it hit you in the ass.
The reason white people get made of more on TV is:
A) Doing so DOESN’T reinforce long-standing oppressions
and
B) White people are disproportionately represented on TV.
Anyway, what’s your point? That humor should be all about ganging up on the oppressed?
Or is it, perhaps, that jokes made against white people hurt your feelings and don’t seem very funny to you…
/me puts hand up
Yeah, I like that one, too! Reverse-discrimination, as opposed to good ole forward-discrimination.
“Also, somebody should tell Chris Rock, BET and Lifetime and the Oxygen Network that they’re doing it wrong…”
Of course they’re not doing it wrong. But most MRAs think they are. MRAs think the Progressive Insurance gal is a symbol of western decadence, for Christ’s sake…
Show of hands: Who would rather listen to Rutee than Johnny?
*hand up*
*Hand up.
Johnny_b, the door’s thataway. Try not to let it hit you in the ass.
/me puts hand up
Heh, the fact that you’d defend one of your own doesn’t surprise me. What’s funny though is that you’ve basically devolved into a clique of fourth-grade bullies and still think yourselves superior. Are you all gonna turn your desks away from me now? Should I expect to be hit with spitballs? Gonna circulate rumors that I have cooties? Feminists at their finest.
Pervocracy – I don’t know what you’re responding to because it definitely isn’t to what I said. I was answering NF4ever’s claim that heterosexual white dudes get to decide what’s funny and dictate their comedy needs to the rest of the world. Which is pretty much the opposite of the truth these days.
It is my personal belief that nothing is off limits as long as it’s funny, but it’s been a long-ass time since I’ve heard a rape joke that made me laugh.
One failed rape joke still makes me laugh, but not for the reasons the creators intended. More like, I’m laughing at the authors’ overblown, defensive, whiny response to being called out by a random feminist. If you aren’t familiar with this particular e-drama you should read about it:
http://www.brokentoys.org/2011/02/01/dickwolves/
Notice the victim is male. I thought feminazis loved laughing at male misfortune and only cared about female victims! LOL MRA.
*disclaimer: I still think dick injury can be hilarious, but that’s how society conditioned me, I am very sorry.
How many MRAs does it take to change a lightbulb?
“We can’t! Feminists control everything!”
“If feminists claim to care about men, then why don’t they change the lightbulb for us?”
“I would, but then my wife would just take it from me in the divorce.”
“Why should I? Bitch’ll just run off with a FUCK alpha, anyway!”
“I was answering NF4ever’s claim that heterosexual white dudes get to decide what’s funny and dictate their comedy needs to the rest of the world.”
That is not what I claimed. I made a sarcastic comment illustrating the attitudes that many MRAs exhibit toward minorities and women, especially w/r/t comedy and what is deemed “offensive”. If you don’t believe MRAs whine about how PC dictates are taking over the world, I invite you to type “men’s rights” and “PC” into google and take a look for yourself.
Heterosexual white dudes no longer get to decide what’s funny, and this bothers MRAs. That is what I claimed.
Johnny: Let me try to put this in a different way. let’s say you have a house. It’s a nice house, plenty of room, and you have friends over a lot. Some of your friends bring in some people you don’t like, who are rude, call you names, maybe make shit up about you. You’d be within your rights to ask them to leave, yes? So would your guests, because they shouldn’t have to put up with their friend and host being insulted.
Or a shorter version: You’re walking into someone’s house and shitting on their rug. When you get called for shitting on the rug, you piss and moan about how you have every right to walk into someone else’s house and shit on their rug – it’s in the constitution!
So maybe you could stop shitting on the rug long enough to actually listen. Just a thought.