Reading “Anthony Zarat’s” recent comments here fantasizing about a future in which men and women consort with virtual reality lovers rather than one another and “drift into separate and rarely interracting species, each of which will prosper more by the absence of the other,” I began to wonder if there was anyone out there with a more jaundiced view of heterosexual relationships than the typical MRA?
And then it occurred to me: the non-married male-female cartoonist duo behind The Lockhorns.
You’ve seen The Lockhorns, haven’t you? It’s a daily single panel cartoon that runs in about 500 newspapers – who even knew there were 500 newspapers left? – and that, according to the strip’s website “gently spoofs the state of marital bliss, poking fun at the foibles of both partners.”
That’s the nice way of putting it. More accurately, the cartoon depicts a sort of existentialist hell on earth. Locked in a loveless marriage, Leroy and Loretta Lockhorn stare at each other with heavy-lidded eyes and almost perpetual frowns; they pick endlessly at each other’s numerous flaws.
Leroy is a bald, overworked schlub who seems to resent every minute of his pathetic existence; only rarely does a smile grace his face, generally when he’s either ogling a pretty girl or contemplating drowning his sorrows in booze. Loretta is a drab, shrewish housefrau whose only real pleasure seems to be trying on new dresses. They unite only in their shared hatred of all that is new and confusing, like the underwear-baring clothing styles of the youth of today.
Happily, they have no cartoon children.
In any case, after reading through a bunch of recent Lockhorns cartoons I had a little brainstorm. While neither The Lockhorns nor MRA misogyny tastes good in itself, the combination of the two could very well be magically delicious.
So I’d like to introduce to you the latest in interactive cartooning: The MRAhorns. I’ve posted a batch of recent Lockhorns cartoons below, sans captions. Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to write up some appropriately MRAish captions for them. Bonus points if you’re able to use the exact words of a prominent MRAer, or even one of this blog’s dedicated trolls. Whoever comes up with the best caption wins one internet.
Have at it!
Zarat, other than acknowledging their presence do you ever actually read the posts of the other self identified MRAs on these threads?
Bagelsan- Well it solves that whole artificial womb problem!
Nobinayamu: Reducing women to house-bound servants with no rights, removing their right to vote, and threatening whole sale slaughter of the female gender during the inevitable male uprising, just before replacing them with androids, is totally just holding men accountable for men’s actions, and women accountable for women’s actions!
“Zarat, other than acknowledging their presence do you ever actually read the posts of the other self identified MRAs on these threads?”
Here is the problem: if an MRA complains about the behaviour of women, it suggests that he/she expects women to behave differently, plans accordingly, and then suffers as a consequence.
In my world-view, men should not be responsible for the behaviour of women, and consequently men should not have any reason to complain (or even notice) what women do or do not do. We simply should not care.
The problem is, current law holds men accountable for the choices that women make. THIS is an MRM issue.
Example of problem: SOCIAL SECURITY
Choice: Women live (on average) 6 years longer than men. On average, women CHOOSE not to prepare for this. On average, women retire after 37 years of work, compared to 41 years of work for men. Consequently, the majority of Social Security benefits go to women, even thought he majority of Social Security contributions are made by men. Compare the average lifetime Social Security contributions and benefits (including 8% interest) for an average woman and an average man who passed away in 2010:
Women who dies in 2010 (began work 1950, retired 1991)
$177,798.63 total CONTRIBUTIONS plus interest.
$389,761.67 total BENEFITS plus interest
—————-
$-211963.0394 total UNFUNDED benefits
Man who dies in 2010 (began work 1957, retired 1998)
$316,835.56 total CONTRIBUTIONS plus interest.
$261,056.79 total BENEFITS plus interest
—————-
$55,778.76 total OVERPAYMENT by man into system, used to pay for WOMEN’S irresponsible early retirement (on average)
Why are MEN collectively responsible for WOMEN’S choice to work too few years, based on the female expected lifespan?
Put another way, if the man and women were to both work EXACTLY as much as needed to cover their own Social Security needs:
Man would retire after working 39 years (and spend 15 years in retirement)
Woman would retire after working 44 years (and spend 12 years in retirement)
THIS would be fair. What we have right now is MEN paying for WOMEN’S irresponsible decision to work in low paying careers, work too few hours per week, work too few years in a lifetime, and retire too early.
Yup; we ladies shouldn’tve been such bitches. It’s really only fair.
So then is it now MGTOWWC = Men Going Their Own Way With Caterpillars?
Zarat, I’m not interested in your attempt to derail. Besides, the only person on these threads who regularly talks about being unprepared for his retirement is NWO and he is, as far as I know, a man.
You’re claiming that:
“The whole foundation of the MRM is:
1) Men should be responsible for the choices that men make.
2) Women should be responsible for the choices that women make.”
So I’m asking again: Do you ever actually read the things that other self-identified MRAs post on this board?
Maybe men should CHOOSE not to die so early, ya pansy-asses. 😀
Know what contributes pretty majorly to social security? Raising kids — most of which is done by unpaid female labor. When some poor suffering nurse is wiping your decrepit ass in the future, and courageously resisting strangling you, you can probably thank his mom.
Apportioning social security funds will never be 100% fair, because there will always be statistical outliers. That said, yeah, maybe women should pay slightly more to SS. But older men are more unhealthy than women, aren’t they? So they get paid more in medicaid reimbursement. It probably evens out in the long run.
If that’s the best example of a grievous “injustice” perpetuated against men that you can come up with, your movement really is ridiculous.
Women also get screwed over on car insurance because male drivers are, on average, more likely to be fuckwits and drive drunk.
Better get on that, too. The principles put forth by the MRM require that you do something about this.
Thanks but no thanks. I’m pretty vanilla.
Just scrounge up a few friendly microbes for him and you’re golden.
Zarat, that is an excellent post. There is no answer. Women are simply, on the whole, lazy and arrogant. Our feminized government allows for women’s general stupidity and lack of direction. This is the problem.
MRAL must have re-joined the movement. What explains your general stupidity and lack of direction?
Yeah, until you get your shit together, MRAL, you deserve to be as lonely and miserable as you are.
MRAL, I’m curious. Why are women such poopheads?
Is it just one of those things they’re born with?
If it’s taught to them, who teaches it and why?
If it’s chosen, why do they all choose it?
You’ve spent enough time contemplating this; surely you must have a theory.
MRAL, you know that there are 20 year olds who support themselves completely and aren’t sponging off their mothers, right? I know I was supporting myself when I was 20 years old.
Hooray for you.
Yep, we lazily overthrew the entire government in the space of a few decades and turned the men in it into our puppets, who we strictly control, because we “lack direction.” And then we arrogantly made every law carefully airtight so that men wouldn’t outsmart us, then crafted a media machine with a vague disregard for feminists. Or something. Sure. Why not.
If MRAL’s mother didn’t want to slowly and inevitably have her life force drained by her offspring she shouldn’t have had sex in the first place!
“Zarat, that is an excellent post. There is no answer. Women are simply, on the whole, lazy and arrogant. Our feminized government allows for women’s general stupidity and lack of direction. This is the problem.”
MRAL, this is stupid even by your standards. ‘feminized government’? The one that employs, is run by, and headed by mostly men? You have *NEVER* substantiated your claims since I have been on this board. The one time ANY of your complaints has been substantiated by ANYONE, it was BUTTMAN, of all morons, who did it and not you. And that one I already believed you on because I can actually fucking research competently. Hell, I probably know more about the discrimination short men face than either of you do, since neither of you seemed to realize it was relevant outside of a dating context.
But more to the point, you’ve asserted, you’ve whinged, you’ve moaned, but you’ve never supported your claims or made a well-founded argument. Are you EVER going to start?
And for fuck’s sake, if you’re going to claim we run everything, don’t simultaneously claim that we’re universally incompetent and run everything with a shadow government. Conspiracies are hard; if you’re going to wear a tinfoil hat, do the bear minimum respect to random chance and the inconquerable human need to fuck up that is deserved, and assume the conspiracy is hypercompetent. Anything else is laughably stupid.
“MRAL, you know that there are 20 year olds who support themselves completely and aren’t sponging off their mothers, right? I know I was supporting myself when I was 20 years old.”
Uh, massive depression unknown for a generation. It’s not a horrible thing to need help right now, serially. You should know better.
No worries, Spear. I was speaking metaphorically, in any event.
“Yep, we lazily overthrew the entire government in the space of a few decades and turned the men in it into our puppets, who we strictly control, because we “lack direction.” And then we arrogantly made every law carefully airtight so that men wouldn’t outsmart us, then crafted a media machine with a vague disregard for feminists. Or something. Sure. Why not.”
Apparently women have mind powers so intense they can run things AND be lazy all at once. Dr. Xavier is shitting himself right now. 😀
Professor Xavier* Whoops.
Also, MRAL, what do you think of men who don’t believe that women are lazy, and don’t at all feel threatened or angry at them? Are they misinformed? If so, how can they learn of this feminazi conspiracy so that they can conquer it?
Genuinely curious.