A reader alerted me to this post on a very interesting blog I haven’t written about before. Regular readers of Man Boobz may find some of these, er, arguments to be a bit familiar:
Our culture is absolutely fucked up. Girls and women hold all control of sex. … [F]rom the first interest in girls, we’re expected to pursue them, and they’re expected to reject us. …
I’m a perfectly healthy man. I’m stronger than a lot of other men, more intelligent, more competent, I think I’m reasonably good looking, and I’m very well endowed. None of that matters though. Somehow, women go for men that fail on a comparison on multiple accounts. …
There are things like rejecting a woman, or pretending to be uninterested that make her even more interested. … Women subconsciously measure a man’s performance in bed by his dancing and posturing. If only they knew how fucking stupid and wrong they are.
I don’t know what happened with me. I’ve always had a strong sex drive, but I got fucked over socially. I wasn’t even “in” in the reject crowd. All girls rejected me, and most rejects rejected me. People made fun of me, laughed at me, picked on me, and all the girls that I lusted after were either repulsed by me, or didn’t know who I was. Even the girls that were “friends” with me, wouldn’t have sex with me. Meanwhile, they went around whoring themselves out to whatever man played this fucking dumb-ass social flirting game. They [crude sexual remarks redacted —DF] like the dirty little whores they are. I’ve been available my whole life, but the only person that ever chose me as a mate were paid prostitutes, and my wife, who is emotionally and mentally fucked up beyond comprehension.
On the surface, this reads like almost every “nice guy” lament I’ve ever seen on the internet. Oh, it’s a bit more bitter than most, but this “nice guy” hits all the right notes: like the Holocuast-trivializing “nice guy” we looked at last Sunday, he complains that women get to actually choose whom to have sex with; like the “nice guy” Redditor we looked at Monday, he still holds a grudge against former crushes who chose to go out with (and have sex with) guys who weren’t him.
The difference? For one thing, this new guy is a bit more self-aware than most “nice guys,” in that he doesn’t actually describe himself as “nice.” For another, he is (or at least claims to be) a sociopath. As might have been immediately apparent had I quoted these comments, which immediately follow what I quoted from him above:
This is the reason I don’t care about people. Why the fuck should I? Everybody [wears] a mask. I want to rape and murder people, and I pretend I’m “normal.” Normal people wear a mask where they pretend they’re friendly and honest; whereas, they’re really deceptive, insecure, and emotionally hostile.
This posting comes from Sociopathworld, a fascinating blog written by a sociopath who is basically trying to explain to non-sociopaths how people like him or her think, to clear up misconceptions about them, and to help sociopaths themselves deal better with their disorder. (The author of the blog didn’t write the comments above; they were sent in by a reader.)
For those not intimately familiar with abnormal psych, “sociopathy” (often used synonymously with the term “psychopathy”) is a term commonly used to describe what is known clinically as Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). The blogger at SociopathWorld quotes a journal article that gives this useful capsule description of psychopaths as people
characterised by an absence of empathy and poor impulse control, with a total lack of conscience. … They tend to be egocentric, callous, manipulative, deceptive, superficial, irresponsible and parasitic, even predatory.
So are “nice guys” a bunch of sociopaths? Well, no. They may be egocentric – like the “nice guy” on Tumblr who compared his lack of dates to the Holocaust. They may lack empathy – like the “nice guy” Redditor who couldn’t feel sympathy for a female “friend” who had been raped. They may be manipulative – hoping that by being excessively “nice” and doing favors for women they will earn themselves some sex.
But they lack, among other things, the impulsiveness and routine deceitfulness that tend to characterize real sociopaths. Sociopaths can be deceptively charming, but very few people would ever describe them as nice. (Indeed, if anything, it’s pickup artists that act the most like real sociopaths; indeed, I’ve heard “game” described before, I think accurately, as an attempt to get guys to think and act more like charming, conscienceless sociopaths.)
So why do “nice guy” laments make them sound so much like sociopaths? I think their egocentricity and their almost total lack of empathy are key. “Nice guys” get crushes on a lot of girls and women, but these crushes often seem to have nothing to do with the objects of these intense feelings: the “nice guys” have whipped up a romantic and sexual drama in their own head, and simply projected it onto some convenient romantic object . The “nice guy” Redditor was once obsessed with his female “friend” – but when she was raped he did not react as a true friend would, with sympathy and sadness. He responded with a callous “she had it coming.”
Combine this lack of empathy with a sense of wounded entitlement – I DESERVE a cute girlfriend! – and you have a recipe for a pretty noxious stew.
“Nice guys” may not literally be sociopaths. But sometimes they think and act in some pretty sociopathic ways.
So, AntZ, just wondering, do you still think that Ritalin is a feminist conspiracy against men? Or was that a different AntZ arguing that?
I’m gonna buy a paper doll that I can call my own,
A doll that other fellows cannot steal
Got myself a sleeping, walking
crying talking living doll
Coin operated boy
VR wife?
Nice Guys(tm) are closeted sociopaths, they fantasize about being sociopaths. That’s why they believe that raping women and treating them like shit is Alpha.
And that’s why they are fascinated by PUA techniques. Sociopaths are interested in PUA techniques because they believe that by using them, they can trick and deceit women. In the 1990s, there was a guy called Ray Gordon that was harassing women online and was constantly trying to find their addresses and phone numbers. He was a sociopath and had numerous mental problems. When he discovered the PUA community, he became obsessed by it and posted insane messages on various PUA forums for several years – he was banned everywhere.
“So, AntZ, just wondering, do you still think that Ritalin is a feminist conspiracy against men? Or was that a different AntZ arguing that?”
You remember me, I am flattered! To answer your question, here is how I explained it to my MRA friends:
“I have been working on an article about Ritalin, but it has more holes than swiss cheese. If I can find the missing pieces, it would be a massive indictment of feminism. However, right now it reads like guess work, smoke, and mirrors.”
Do I believe it? You bet. Do I have evidence? Some. Does the evidence constitute proof? Nope.
In particular, Kennedy Jr. and Kennedy Sr. jointly scuttled the “Child Medication Safety Act”. The bill would have prohibited schools from forcing children to take certain addictive and/or hazardous medications, including Ritalin. Proving that the Kennedys acted under the direction of feminists has been tougher.
The idea of virtual reality wives makes me think of The Stepford Wives. I seriously doubt many people would want to spend their time with a computer program that can only pretend to have independent thoughts and feelings, rather than a real person with real thoughts and feelings. If the douchebags of the world someday get VR wives, they better not try to give them artificial intelligence, because the poor VR women will flee them like the plague.
I also think of these lines from The Big Lebowski:
Jackie Treehorn: “New technology permits is to do very exciting things in interactive and erotic software. The wave of the future dude, 100 percent electronic.”
Dude: “Huh well, I still jerk off manually.”
“Sociopaths are…” is no more valid a construction than any other ‘people with x condition are…’
There are sociopaths out there who would find the OP guy utterly disgusting, and all the MRA commenters here at best incredibly stupid for not seeing what a lousy chance their approach has of netting them the outcomes they desire.
So I have to get to the end of this screed to find out THAT HE’S MARRIED. Oh, LMAO.
Kids don’t take medication, including Ritalin, without consent of parent or guardian or a court order. Schools don’t have the authority to force kids to take Ritalin–at least not in the US in CA, where I am.
Amused said it better, but what it boils down to, Antz, is that even though you love your wife you’d prefer it if you could also control her completely, because that way she couldn’t leave you.
Is all of your bluster and aggression just a cover for really, really, really low self-esteem? I mean, I sometimes worry that my husband will meet someone else and leave me – that’s pretty normal, because we all have insecurities – but I don’t fantasize about replacing him with a simulation so he can’t, because if he didn’t have free will he wouldn’t really love me, and that would suck just as much as if he were to leave me for a tall blonde.
Maybe instead of trolling feminist blogs you should go for therapy. You don’t even have to take drugs if you don’t want to!
So in other words, you’ve decided on your conclusion and now just need to find some way to shape reality to fit it.
“So in other words, you’ve decided on your conclusion and now just need to find some way to shape reality to fit it.”
Hey, unshaped reality has a well-known feminist bias!
You know, I read all these horror stories and “SHE COULD TAKE ME TO THE CLEANERS ANY SECOND!” screeds and there’s still no logical explanation why people who are supposedly so godsdamn smart keep marrying women they have no trust, respect or love for. And if none of this shit has actually happened to you, AntZ, she’s not the problem. You are.
AZ continues to be Not Even Wrong
No fault divorces in the US divide property along a 50/50 split because on average, both adults are working and contributing. A simple examination of cases where there was an income disparity, courts have precedence to split it along economic lines.
In AZ-world men are thrown into jail when their wife files a no fault divorce? Or has he let slip that he’s a domestic violence perpetrator?
Again with the tedious “visitation.” It’s already been shown that the primary care giver is assigned care of children due to the best interest of the children. While you’re allegedly spending hours in the lab and more time typing furious myths and lies on the interwebs, *someone* is sitting with your children, making them meals, helping them with homework, counceling them when they cry, caring for them when they’re sick, talking to their teachers, etc.
Joint custody, idiot.
Children aren’t property, douche.
Like the meaningful role you play in the life of your wife that you despise enough to want to replace her with robo-wife? Or the meaningful role you’d play in the “life” of robo-wife? You just said a sentance agao, your children aren’t people, they’re property.
Too late, ass.
I’d rather see his kids with the person who is actually taking care of them, instead of the one who would teach them to reflexively despise her and her entire gender because she’s not a robot fuck slave/maid/incubator.
There really is no bottom to this barrel they keep dipping from.
Sigh… blockquote failure again.
You know what I find offsets low self esteem and the worries that my S/O will leave me?
Not being an ass.
I’ve divorced twice. One of the common factors leading up to them was ME.
I decided that I need to work on what I had control over and that was MY attitude, MY interactions and MY assumptions.
Work out pretty well, but it’s an ongoing process.
“I’ve divorced twice. One of the common factors leading up to them was ME.
I decided that I need to work on what I had control over and that was MY attitude, MY interactions and MY assumptions.”
Oh, that just means you’re a self-loathing mangina eunuch or some shit. You know, the names MRAs and their ilk use for people who aren’t puke-inducingly narcissistic.
Und by de vay, dat’s a nize het hyu’ve got in huy avatar pikture.
david, thanks for acknowledging my comment!
the distinction mainly lies in the inability to have empathy vs. the desire not to utilize empathy one has, sociopathy/psychopathy vs. ASPD. there is also a distinction in that ASPD would be a diagnosis we would hand to our bosses, note on insurance reports, etc. but it would not encompass the whole picture. for a better reference note, see the PCL-R, still utilized to assess psychopathy/sociopathy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hare_Psychopathy_Checklist.
as to the difference between the two terms for the exact same thing (psychopathy and sociopathy), preference of term has actually changed based on social factors, e.g. which one is nicer/more appropriate according to the psychological world in general. in academia, i’ve heard both used interchangeably (different professors from different generations), but i believe the current word of choice is sociopathy. and in an effort to not be an ass (technical term, i know), one usually doesn’t employ “sociopath” or “psychopath” (whichever is in vogue), much in the same way one shouldn’t use the term “narcissist” to describe someone who is clinically-speaking a person with narcissistic personality disorder. it’s similar in its pejorative connotations to calling a person with mental retardation a “retard”.
i hope that explains some?
You really shouldn’t be. I only remember it because it was one of the most ridiculously wrong things I’ve ever read, and on the internet, that’s saying something.
kristina.scal: Thanks for the note about ‘sociopath’ re: ‘retard’ – it was bothering me as a descriptor and I couldn’t think why. Should have been obvious to me now that you say it, considering.
what’s funny about the whole sexbots/AI thing, is why do MRAs just assume scientists will only create female sexbots/AI’s?
Think about it. According to MRA/PUA “theory” all men want is a hot, skinny, hyper feminine under 25 female. All other undesirable women are doomed to be alone and live with cats. That leaves a lot of unsatisfied ladies out there. The creators of AI will totally capitalize on that shit and create hot manbots for all the fatties and oldies out there and make a ton of money.
MRAs love to cackle when they think about how women will lament that all the men are sleeping with lady sexbots, but what will really happen is the ladies will be off with manbots of their own.
Also can’t forget lonely gay men either.
THE FUTURE: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-GKKKNnvzBU/TOP_qlagR5I/AAAAAAAAAFE/eVJXYKEyeMs/s1600/robot.jpg
“I’m a perfectly healthy man. I’m stronger than a lot of other men, more intelligent, more competent, I think I’m reasonably good looking, and I’m very well endowed. None of that matters though. Somehow, women go for men that fail on a comparison on multiple accounts. …”
Narcissism ≠ “healthy.” Seriously, lack of humility and humbleness won’t help you get with anyone, even if you are “well-endowed.”
If he doesn’t eat well and show an awareness of Prostrate Cancer, I’m not interested. No matter how well-endowed he is.
I read all of Anthony’s comments on this thread to my husband while he was in the next room reading old Avengers comics, like he does.
Andrew: So his marriage is perfect except that his wife has free will.
Me: You have to admit, it’s pretty unfair of her.
Andrew: It doesn’t sound like he needs all this futuristic technology. He just needs a good sturdy chain to keep her in place.
Me: Yeah, but she could gnaw her leg off and stroll down to the courthouse at any time. Limping.
Andrew: He could put up fliers in the lobby like they have for escaped criminals. “Do Not Let This Woman Get Divorced.”
Me: People won’t listen! Because of our damn feminist-run legal system!
MRAs love to cackle when they think about how women will lament that all the men are sleeping with lady sexbots, but what will really happen is the ladies will be off with manbots of their own.
To be fair, Anthony has promised the ladies coin-operated boys of their own. Other pro-sexbot MRAs tend to think that women only want men for $MONEY$, so male sexbots would be useless. Unless they were robot millionaires or robot bad boys.
I think a lot of Nice Guys are sociopath wanna-bes. They aren’t actually numb to other people’s feelings, but they’ve internalized the idea that they’d be super cool and badass if they were.
They’re the kind of person who thinks that Hannibal Lecter is the hero of The Silence of the Lambs.