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For the love of God, ladies, take off those pants!

It's sinful when dogs wear them, too.

We’re taking a brief trip outside the manosphere today to take a look at a little posting I found on Jesus-is-savior.com – which, as far as I can tell, is not a joke site — on the evils of women wearing pants.

No need to dilly dally around with jokes; let’s just get right into it:

One of the most controversial subjects in America’s churches today is pants on women; but there is NO controversy if you believe the Bible.  1st Timothy 2:9 clearly instructs women to dress MODESTLY, i.e., of good behavior.  A woman’s clothing says MUCH about her character.  I guarantee you that women who approve of abortion (i.e., murder) also see no problem with women wearing pants. 

Except, one presumes, while they are getting these abortions.

At this point the author, one David J. Stewart, quotes disapprovingly from a song by rapper Chingy, also on the subject of pants, specifically jeans. I won’t bother to quote all of the lyrics; you can get the gist of Chingy’s thesis from this brief excerpt:

Damn Girl

How’d you get all that in

Dem Jeans

Dem Jeans

Here’s the video, if you wish to double-check this transcription.

Stewart continues:

Only a rebellious woman, who deliberately disobeys the Word of God, would wear pants. …   Pants on women are adulterous in nature, and cause men to lust and sin.  Jesus made this clear in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”  Women who wear pants deliberately cause men to lust, and commit the sin of adultery.  …

The average person today scoffs at the idea that Rock-n-Roll, Satanism, and immoral sex go hand-in-hand, but they certainly do.  When Rock-n-Roll came to America, so did pants on women become mainstream.  Naturally, feminism, witchcraft, abortion, and homosexuality came as well.  Rock-n-Roll is straight from the pits of Hell.  ALL rock-n-roll women wear pants. 

Ah, but it turns out we haven’t really wandered too far from the manosphere after all – and not just because of the mention of feminism. No, what strikes me about Stewart’s argument – aside from the fact that it is completely batshit – is that it is not really very different than the arguments advanced by the critics of the Slutwalks: that the “immodest” dress of women causes men to “lust and sin.”

One of the most common complaints I’ve seen in the writings of the antifeminist slutwalk critics is that women want to “do what they want to, and dress how they want to, without facing any consequences,” as if women who dress in ways these men find arousing have in fact committed some sort of sin that requires punishment from, if not God himself, then from the rapists of the world.

The slutwalk critics invariably insist they’re simply passing along useful advice to women – don’t dress slutty or you’ll get raped – but the talk of “consequences” (and the choice of that word) shows pretty clearly that the real impetus behind the strangely vehement attacks on the slutwalks is the desire to punish women for dressing, and more importantly, doing “what they want.”

Say what you will about the folks behind Jesus-is-Savior.com, but at least their position on the evils of pants is consistent with their overall fundamentalist ideology. The slutwalk critics don’t really have an excuse.

EDITED TO ADD: And, conveniently enough, here’s some douchebag on Reddit making this exact slut-shaming “argument.” Pro-tip: I don’t think “responsibility” means quite what you think it means, dude.

Ah, Reddit, always reliable.

 

Thanls, ShitRedditSAys, for pointing me to this. And to MFingPterodactyl for the sensible response.

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Snowy
Snowy
13 years ago

Possibly because of berries in a forest.

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

Men have such a vulnerable crotch area that it is best protected by clothing which supports the testicles and penis. Pants not only provide support for the penis and testicles, but ensure that these vulnerable appendages make for a smaller and more compact target that is, therefore, less likely to be hit in a fight.

Women, by contrast, must be available for sex at all times otherwise they will be the victims of whining. Skirts are better suited for this purpose.

Anti-Lyn (otherwise known as Lyn)
Anti-Lyn (otherwise known as Lyn)
13 years ago

Men should wear skirts as it obscures their vulnerable bits and makes them more difficult to hit when they are hunting for mammoths.

However, because men are raving beasts who find it very difficult not to rape women /sarcasm (which can render women sterile in certain cases – consensual sex is usually preferred for the continuation of the species as women are more likely to orgasm in a consensual situation which helps the sperm get to the egg), women should always wear pants in order to make accessing their vaginas more difficult.

Rutee
Rutee
13 years ago

“The same perverts who want to control an army of male slaves while consuming a conveyor belt of female concubines.”
….Wait, wait, are you implying that feminists wish to have the ‘female concubines’ to ourselves, for sex, or that all non-feminist women are concubines and we’re not diverting them to their true purpose of serving men? Unclear.

katz
13 years ago

I will never understan how feminists rationalize serving up their fellow women, bound and helpless upon that conveyor belt of horror, for the payoff of a slice of blood-stained power.

Hey! What I do with my conveyor belt of horror is my own business!

Anthony Zarat
13 years ago

“… waiting on Antz hand and foot …”

Lol, this is a nightmare. The worst thing anyone could do to an MRA is saddle him with a brainless twit who wants to exchange servitude for protection.

Seeking protection from a fantasy “bad man” that feminists conjured into their minds, women sought shelter under the wings of the biggest thug of all. Trembling in fear of the bogey-man that existed only in their imagination, women traded their freedom and their future for the kind of “protection” only the Mafia can provide.

For years, big government has fed upon the blood of men to pay for the feminist bargain. But its thirst has grown too large and now the beast is coming after you for its pound of flesh.

So where will you hide now?

The feminist religion and the religion of the far right are one and the same. So bloated have you both become, that you can no longer even say “trust me” without blood spattering from between your teeth.

Who now speaks for equality, liberty, and dignity, if not the MRM?

Molly Ren
13 years ago

Personally, I want all the male slaves and the female slaves to have a giant orgy.

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

SOYLENT FEMINISM IS PEEEEOPLE

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
13 years ago

You should tell that to David K. PEACE AND FREEDOM!!!! Meller.

He thinks all woman should be submissive, docile, subservient homemakers. He considers himself a leader within the MRM as well.

Also, women pay taxes as well. Even women who don’t consider themselves feminists pay taxes. And your comparison of feminism to the far fight is… a stretch. A great big, hot yoga style stretch.

Are you drunk?

chocomintlipwax
13 years ago

Ami:

Pants are way more complicated than skirts (buttons, zippers, snaps, hooks, pockets) which are better suited to the more intelligent, higher functioning male brains. Skirts are simple, and therefore designed for simple lady brains. Has any man ever put the wrong leg in the wrong pant leg or tried to put both legs in the same hole? Of course not. Only women do that because they’re mentally inferior.

I bet a man invented pants.

(I wanted to work in something about Title IX or VAWA, so just assume that those have something to do with everything.)

Amused
Amused
13 years ago

A skirt, you see, is shaped like a Neolithic hut (of which a wigwam or a tipi would be an example). In Neolithic times, men went out to hunt the mammoth, while women stayed in their huts, vacuuming, playing bridge with other women, tending to children and making mammoth casserole. In the Early Neolithic period, women were generally naked, but during the cooling climate change in the Late Neolithic period, women started to need clothes whenever they went out to do their womanly gathering of nuts, berries and Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom for dinner. When they began to make clothes for themselves, they instinctively shaped them like their dwellings, so that they could feel secure and bound to the home even while they were physically away from it. Thus, wearing a skirt fulfills a woman’s deep psychological need to always be bound to the home. It symbolizes that she has evolved to belong exclusively to the domestic sphere.

Okay, one down. Next. Why did men evolve to wear pants? Let me think …

I got it, I got it, I got it!! When a man hunts the mammoth — which is a really huge animal — it is important to find some way to inspire fear in your target. That way, the mammoth will run away and hurl itself off a cliff, instead of chase you around the plain and gore you to death. By wearing pants, and thus letting the dumb animal see two legs (or three, depending on the size of the hunter’s package and the cut of his pants), the hunter creates an optical illusion that there are actually two of him, not one. When you got five hunters, the mammoth thinks there are actually between ten and fifteen of them. The mammoth runs away in fear and hurls itself off the cliff. Meatballs! Thus, wearing pants is an evolutionary advantage for the hunter, and since men have evolved to be hunters, they are drawn to wearing pants as an evolutionary adaptation.

Academia — here I come.

footnotegirl
footnotegirl
13 years ago

I really have never understood the ‘modest women wear skirts’ thing, especially in pretty much any era before oh, late Victorian. Until that time, women’s underwear? Split crotch. All of it. So effectively, a woman in a dress had 0 layers of clothes to go through to actually have sex. This is why Victorian era streetwalkers could perform their trade without leaving the street. And yet pants, even bloomers, were beyond scandalous. I flail my arms at the incomprehensibility.

@Steph, since no one seemed to be answering your question –
Sizing on womens clothing SUCKS. Big time. First, there’s at least two regularly used sizing formats for women: The more prevalent 0 – 14 (and beyond, though most stores will only carry through 14 or sometimes 16) and then for many pants and designer jeans, what purports to be a waist size (I’ve seen these range from 22 to 34 in stores).
There’s also the plus size (size 14 and up range), womens sizes (Append a W to sizes 12 or up, usually cut wider but not taller), Petite sizes (like womens, but with a P) for women under 5’2″, Tall sizes (usually with a T, for women over 5’10”) and juniors sizes (which run from 1 to 15 usually, and are cut with narrower hips and smaller chests, generally).
On top of all that, NONE OF THESE SIZES IS REGULATED. A 12 in one store is nothing like a 12 in another store. I personally currently have clothing in my closet, that fits, ranging from a size 10 (gap jeans) to a size 18 (designer dress). Even the waist size measurement scales don’t actually match up to what you’d get if you put a measuring tape around your waist. How bad is the sizing issue in womens clothes? Bad enough that there’s a company out there making a good profit and in a lot of demand because they’ve refitted those ‘look under your clothes’ scanners to scan women and spit out what sizes they wear in various stores and designers. It’s confusing on a daily basis for women who’ve been putting up with it all their lives, I can’t imagine how daunting it can be for women who are transitioning. My sympathies.
Best bet is to try on a bunch of jeans in a variety of sizes. At many stores, a worker can probably look at you and tell you what range to try. Also, know your body shape. Key words to look for are ‘skinny jeans’ or slim or narrow cut (better if you have narrow hips), Curvy or similar words for if you have larger hips or a well developed rear end. Classic fit is generally going to have a higher waistband.
Good luck!

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

For years, big government has fed upon the blood of men to pay for the feminist bargain. But its thirst has grown too large and now the beast is coming after you for its pound of flesh.

And for those of us who don’t speak MRAtaphor? 😀

Molly Ren
13 years ago

“For years, big government has fed upon the blood of men to pay for the feminist bargain. But its thirst has grown too large and now the beast is coming after you for its pound of flesh.”

Ah, *that’s* why they wanted to defund Planned Parenthood!

captainbathrobe
13 years ago

AntZ, what the fuck are you even talking about?

captainbathrobe
13 years ago

What cracks me up is the delusion that these MRAs don’t receive any protection from the government.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

For years, men have eaten the anchovies off the pizza that is womanhood but now the anchovies are all gone, and only the feta cheese remains, and the delivery man is unhappy at how men historically have never tipped him, and a sub place has moved in across the street from the pizza parlor and men will now be forced to eat their own blood soaked tuna subs.

Look, I can make metaphors that accuse vague unsubstantiated things too! xD

nedbeaumontjr
13 years ago

give me the evo psych reason for men being hardwired to wear pants and women hardwired to wear skirts!

The wedgies and occasional ball-displacement that pants can cause if improperly fitted give men the edge they need to remain ruff, tuff, and ornery (necessary alpha traits), while the airflow of a skirt helps keep women fresh (necessary to service alphas).

Speaking for myself, the clothing is less interesting than the person within, but who am I to judge a man on his skirt fetish?

ozymandias42
13 years ago

But I like feta. 🙁

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
13 years ago

I always enjoy people talking about the evils of BIG GOVERNMENT while they’re on the fucking internet.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

the feta is made from the blood of DEAD BABIES ozy!

which is a metaphor for women playing golf…

which is a metaphor for MRAs making metaphors…

which is a metaphor for Ozy liking feta 😀

katz
13 years ago

I would love to see a picture of what it’s like inside AntZ’s head.

MertvayaRuka
MertvayaRuka
13 years ago

“Seeking protection from a fantasy “bad man” that feminists conjured into their minds, women sought shelter under the wings of the biggest thug of all. Trembling in fear of the bogey-man that existed only in their imagination, women traded their freedom and their future for the kind of “protection” only the Mafia can provide.

For years, big government has fed upon the blood of men to pay for the feminist bargain. But its thirst has grown too large and now the beast is coming after you for its pound of flesh.

So where will you hide now?”

Funny seeing someone invoke the Mafia in the middle of a screed that all but screams out loud “Now you will have to turn to US to protect you!”. And you’re such a coward you can’t even come out and say what you really mean, which is that you want to be in that “biggest thug” position and reap the rewards for it that you think you’re owed.

Molly Ren
13 years ago

I imagine it’s like that scene in The Shining with the bloody elevator from his metaphors, Katz.