The contest for the Most Ironic Use of the Term “Nice Guy,” When Applied to Yourself –otherwise known as the MIUTNGWAY Award – is heating up. The previous front runner – the Tumblr guy who compared his inability to get laid to the Holocaust – now faces a serious challenge from a Redditor calling himself DogmaDog.
The other day Mr. Dog wandered into a discussion of the SlutWalks in the Feminisms and offered his two cents: he declared them “stupid,” and suggested that they won’t really help victims.
And then he started in on his own tale of woe.
I know I’m going to be shit on for saying what I’m about to say, but please hear me out.
Not a promising start, Dog.
I’ve never raped a woman, and I’m the ‘nice guy’ who never took advantage of a woman.
Do you want an award for this?
But a girl I was infatuated with in high school blew me off and treated me disrespectfully. She ended up being raped one night, while intoxicated. I do not know how I am supposed to feel about it.
As Don Draper would say, “what?”
How do you think you’re “supposed” to feel? Did you accidentally dislodge the part of your brain responsible for basic human empathy?
Apparently, the answer to that is “yes.”
[H]ow do you suppose I am supposed to feel about this woman I knew who got raped? I mean, I’ve never taken advantage of a woman, but I don’t understand how my ‘friend’, this girl I went to high school with, could go out and party all the time, and in turn treat me, her classmate, as though I were an inferior person for not enjoying the atmosphere of drunkenness at high school parties.
As it turns out, you’re an inferior person for an entirely different reason.
That girl was a mean girl, no? And by being disrespectful toward men, and prejudiced toward men, wasn’t she asking men to behave badly toward her? The only men she gave attention and physical affection to were the ones who hurt her back.
So let me see if I get this: she didn’t go out with you, a “nice guy,” so she was therefore “asking” to be raped?
Naturally, this being the Feminisms subreddit, and not The Spearhead, some of the regular commenters took exception to Mr. Dog’s victim-blaming and his complete lack of empathy for the victim – especially strange, since Dog, who says he is suffering from an (unspecified) mental illness, considers himself “a victim, in my own way,” of prejudice towards those with mental health issues. This experience, alas, has not given him any sympathy towards other vicitms.
Indeed, it seems that DogmaDog didn’t misplace his sense of empathy after all; rather, he threw it out of the house and got a restraining order against it. Responding to someone who suggested he show a little empathy, Dog lashed out:
Your empathy can go suck a dick. Empathy does nothing to help my situation. I suppose that is just the excuse people give themselves so that they can feel like they are actually doing something.
You basically called me an inferior human being because I can’t or won’t empathize for my friend who was raped. Well, ask yourself this, smart-ass, have you ever really wondered what good your empathy does? It does nothing. …
In reality, you are doing nothing but attacking me, and I may or may not have a ‘complex’, even though I don’t know what that is, but I can guarantee you, I HAVE NEVER RAPED ANYONE!!!
The sound you hear is me banging my head, ever so softly, on my desk. Empathy is what connects human beings to one another, what allows them to understand one another on a deep level.
When people are suffering – as you are, Dog, in dealing with your mental illness – a little bit of empathy from someone else can make all the difference in the world.
If you can’t feel even a little bit of sympathy for this woman you were once “infatuated” with, you’re not a nice guy at all; you’re an even bigger asshole than those drunken high school partiers you disdain. You may never have raped anyone — as you’ve repeatedly insisted, as if this should win you a prize – but “in your own way” you’re thinking like an abuser. Your lack of empathy for the victim, your continued bitterness towards her for turning you down, your sense of wounded narcissism; none of this is healthy, for you or for anyone who comes into contact with you.
You need help, dude. Please, please get it.
All this talk about Mr Dog…
A. Zarat, if I understand you correctly, you’re implying that he will be raped. Rape is bad. We should definitely have empathy with people who are raped. Stopping rape is, indeed, a noble and just cause.
…Why do I feel like this thread is going in circles?
“Now, if you look at the comment policy here, you’ll see that you broke a bunch of my comment rules: you derailed a thread with a completely off-topic rant; you misrepresented my post and me in general (I never claimed this guy was an MRA; not everyone I write about is); your comments are full of hyperbolic insults and abusive language.”
I learned a lot from early feminist writers and activists. Opressed gropus achieve nothing by playing nice. Think “cat and mouse act”.
“Nobody gets anything And, as has been made clear many times already by others in this thread, you’re generally full of shit.”
The MRM cry for equality, dignity, and humanity is but a whisper in the maelstrom of feminist hatred. It is not surprising that the ideas are not mainstream.
“So yes, feel free to keep posting, though I’d prefer you not employ sockpuppets. Pick one identity and stick with it.”
I assure you that in choosing the short hand “AntZ” instead of “Anthony Zarat”, I was not attempting to fool anyone. You will find me posting under both names on MRM sites also.
Interestingly, amidst all of the White Knights and would be saviours working so hard to “protect” women, the MRA population is, in general, the only group that actually respects women. We believe that women are the equal of men, and do not need special protection and privilege.
Oh crap, please ignore my comment above. I got to the end of the first page of comments and didn’t realize there was a second page. I fail at life.
Daphne: Actually, your comment works very nicely right where it is (AZ is so utterly circular that he can’t get off that one topic).
Ummm…no you really do not Mr. Zarat. Generally someone who respects a woman does not use the kind of vile language that you do.
@mediumdave
“But there is simply no basis for the alarmist nonsense that you’re selling here, and I think you’re getting as angry as you are because you believe “in your heart” that you are right, even though the facts don’t agree.”
Actually his facts are right on the money, it’s just feminist ideology that can’t agree. Only women suffer and only women can be victims. Women can never be oppressive singularly, as a group or by law.
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@cynickal
“Yep, I can tell that by the BILLIONS of child support dollars that are withheld by fathers from their children.”
If you really understood the facts you’d know fathers seperated from their children are far more likely to pay than the rare occasions where mothers are. Also those deadbeat dads are disproportionally incarcerated compared to their counterpoints.
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@cynickal
“I guess it’s better for children to starve on the streets than to make men act like adults and take responsibility for their children.”
Or divorced fathers could get equal custody like they wanted in the first place. The only reason for denying equal custody would be for the money, or vengence if you prefer.
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@Joanna
” MRAs, they sulk like children when they don’t get what they want.”
Women, feminists in particular employ the violence of the state.
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@Theresa (@BooBooMatrix)
“Parenting not being shared is the number one reason women don’t advance at work, or are held back in some cases.”
But if after divorce men have to fight for equal custody, doesn’t that mean women are holding themselves back? it’s almost like women can’t avoid being victims. And the flip side of the coin is men being unable to avoid being oppressors.
@PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
“Someone did not bother reading the decision, the law prior to the decision, the history of the law surrounding the decision or actually reading anything at all.
Tell me NWOaf, do you ever get tired of being wrong?”
Whew, thank goodness I’m wrong. For a minute there I thought men were thrown into debtors prison which was abolished long ago. I mean it would be pretty cold of women to have men tossed in prison for 10K a year while costing 120K a year which would pay 11 years of child support. Plus the cost of police work and such. You’re talkin probably the entire 18 years of support for 1 year of prison for a man losing his job.
Thanks for setting me straight! I was all wrong. Because you said so.
Elizabeth,
No, he does not. In fact, it’s what he lives for.
“Generally someone who respects a woman does not use the kind of vile language that you do.”
I am pretty much a vile person. I treat both sexes equally badely. Asking me to use special children’s language when speaking to women, so that the “delicate” sex is not offended, indicates that YOU do not respect women.
I suppose I have to answer a few personal attacks, quickly:
“It must be past MRAL’s bedtime” => I am 42 years old.
“… from a dead beat dad, likely …” => Nope, married, two boys.
“… I get that you’re lonely …” => 6 mo old and 6 yr old at home, never lonely
Feels bade, man.
Oppressed groups not playing nice by… breaking comment policies. I see.
AZ: he’s like Malcom X, in a way.
Anthony…those quotes were not directed at you?
The Nice Guy Theory:
The Nice guy live in fear that his inability to use violence as masculine equity leaves him helpless in attracting beautiful women and even worst, leaves him vulnerable to having beautiful women pouched from him by Violent Men.
As a defense mechanism our Nice guy…
Denigrates women as being Disloyal,
Lionize Violent Rapist and Abusers as Alpha Males
Seeks kinship with these violent men by justifying their actions
and finally stunting his own growth with this dangerously castrating self fulfilling prophesy.
I choose to go my own way and not complain.
Like a Man Should.
Anthony Zarat, the bedtime comment was directed at “Men’s Rights Activist Lieutenant”, and was likely a jab at his maturity rather then a reference to his actual age.
“It must be past MRAL’s bedtime” => I am 42 years old.
Huh. I didn’t know you were a sockpuppet of MRAL.
If you, Mr. Zarat, are going to come on here, claim that your own movement treats women equally because you “treat both sexes equally badly,” then not only do you hate women, you hate men as well. People can have discussions about these topics and they are not treating one another as children. They are treating them as adults with respect.
Also, that first comment was directed at another person regarding the bed time. Please pay better attention. Thank you.
Look, this is going in circles.
You are either in favor of fathers being sentenced to hard prison time for being late on child support, or not. If you are in favor, you must accept all that this policy means in terms of tax payer expense, loss of income to the mother, and the unspeakable horrors that you are sentencing a father to experience due loss of employment that may be (you say)/probably is (I say) outside of his control
If you are against this practice, I am not sure how you can call yourself a feminist.
If you are in favor of this practice, I am not sure how you can call yourself human.
theLaplaceDemon, I think the “from a dead beat dad” one was… but still.
“Huh. I didn’t know you were a sockpuppet of MRAL.”
My mistake. I assumed that MRAL meant “Mens Rights Activist Loser”.
Sorry.
‘Anthony…those quotes were not directed at you?’ TheLaplaceDemon
Narcissism. It’s an impenetrable wall of MRA self absorption. I imagine he thinks everyone is talking to and about him. Constantly. And pining for his return so much that he had to create a second account to bypass what he thought was a banning. Can’t keep his fans waiting!
My mistake. I assumed that MRAL meant “Mens Rights Activist Loser”
Didn’t another troll (NWO maybe?) also assume the L stood for “loser”?
@Yaz
“Narcissism. It’s an impenetrable wall of MRA self absorption.”
No feminist has ever been wrong, luckily that’s not narcissism it’s perfection. State approved.
“Thats communism/socialism/marxism”
Those words aren’t interchangeable, you paranoid git from the 1950s. Communism is not socialism is not marxism. And yes, it is socialism; I’m a socialist.
“synonymous with feminism.”
No, it motherfucking isn’t. Feminism doesn’t demand a political outlook. Some of us are democratic socialists, some of us are free marketeers. Not that many of us favor a command economy, and in fact I’m making an assumption that there is at least one feminist who does.
“Men have no rights to a live child, therefore no reproductive rights. What source could you possibly need?”
No, they have rights to live children; they don’t have rights to monopolize another woman’s uterus to get them. Surrogate mothers are a thing now, a really desperate man who wants to be a single father should look into them. They’re women who, for a price, voluntarily allow other people to use their uterus to carry a baby to term.
Anthony Zarat – why do you think that the people making comments about MRAL are talking about you?? (“It must be past MRAL’s bedtime” and “I get that you’re lonely”). MRAL = Mens Rights Activist Lieutenant, not you.