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Batmen’s Rights

I didn't know they carried books like that in the library.

There are many things that are annoying, obviously, about Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit. One thing that isn’t: a relatively new commenter there by the name of BatmensBegins, a fellow who knows how to get right to the heart of any argument. Provided that heart is him, Batman.

A few of his recent comments will give you an idea of his perspicacity.

In a discussion of a New Zealand business lobbyist sacked for saying that women get paid less because they menstruate:

This is why the best form of labor is me, Batman. Batman don’t menstruate. Batman is driven by a psychopathic desire for vengeance and unresolved Oedipal feelings. Batman’s the perfect man. Batman men-struates.

Batman.

In a discussion of an article about prominent men recently accused of rape:

[T]here’s one blind spot in the article: what of the billionaire playboys who have lost their fathers and now fight crime dressed as a bat? Not that I’m one myself, mind you. But if you think about it, they’re the real victims here.

In a discussion of women being, you know, evil goldigging whores:

As Batman, I have many hysterical biddies seeking to con me out of my hard-earned money. Women such as Grass Girl, Girl Joker and Latex Ass. Thankfully, I’ve built up a resistance to their feminine wiles and devious behavior. I can’t even get an erection anymore.

I would just like to salute BatmensBegins for his single-minded devotion to bringing up the important topic of Batman whenever and wherever he posts.

Also, if you’re a Redditor, I highly recommend that you check out a fledgling subreddit called r/againstmensrights. It’s not actually against men’s rights, per se, just the army of douchebags who make up the Men’s Rights Movement as we know it today. It hasn’t quite hit critical mass yet in terms of comments or subscribers, but it’s a handy place to find out about the latest bits of egregious misogyny being upvoted elsewhere on Reddit.

 

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Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I note that every one of those articles is actually about women’s rights.

Women deserve less pay! Women deserve to be treated like liars-until-proven-otherwise! Women deserve to be treated like overpriced whores!

The RIGHTS of MEN are utterly irrelevant to the first and third, and the only right the second asks for is the ludicrous one of nobody telling anyone they were accused of a felony. (On the grounds that the victim gets to be anonymous, which creates a strange false equivalence suggesting perhaps the victim should also be held on bail.)

Ah well. Good on ya, Batman.

duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN

captainbathrobe
9 years ago

OK, that’s fucking awesome.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

I wish that had been written by somebody who knew a little more about Batman. Batman has plenty of female villains that could have fit better than those made-up ones.

Hell, Talia al Ghul even tricked Batman into getting her pregnant.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Spearhafoc – Wasn’t basically every female Batman villain’s plan:

1) Seduce Batman with my slinky sexy wiles
2) ??????
3) Profit

amandajane5
9 years ago

I believe Harley Quinn spent her time trying to get into the Joker’s pants, but for the most part, I do believe they were all trying to get that fetish suit off of him.

Molly Ren
9 years ago

Spearhafoc wrote, “Hell, Talia al Ghul even tricked Batman into getting her pregnant.”

Really? There’s a Son of Batman out there somewhere? 😀

Molly Ren
9 years ago

@Holly: It was Catwoman’s plan, at least.

Joanna
9 years ago

” I can’t even get an erection anymore.”

Good!

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Well, Poison Ivy, maybe. She frequently uses her seduction pheromones in her plans.

Talia too is, of course, often focused on making Batman her’s. Her father wanted Batman to be his successor, she had his son, etc.

Catwoman wants to steal stuff and seduce Batman. They’re just two things she wants to do – not really part of a single master plan.

Harley Quinn is too hung-up on the Joker to care about what’s in Batman’s pants, most of the time.

Joanna
9 years ago

Maybe these guys base all women on these Batman characters. Maybe they should stop reading comic books and, you know, take part in real life once in a while.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Really? There’s a Son of Batman out there somewhere?

Damien Wayne, the current Robin.

He was raised in secret by Ra’s al Ghul’s League of Assassins, but he’s now trying to turn over a new leaf working with his father. He’s arrogant, petulant and prone to extreme violence when not kept in check.

I found him annoying as hell when he was first introduced, but he’s grown on me over the last few years.

Joanna
9 years ago

That. Is. Awesome.

Molly Ren
9 years ago

@Spearhafoc: This is one of those times when I realize I’m not nearly geeky *enough*. I seem to miss out on all the cool comic book stuff!

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Maybe these guys base all women on these Batman characters.

Even then, there are plenty of good-aligned Batman characters who don’t fit MRA stereotypes.

The Batgirls, of course:

Barbara Gordon (currently Oracle, the world’s greatest hacker, but she’ll be Batgirl again post-upcoming reboot)

Cassandra Cain (an originally mute Asian girl who can read body language like a book, and was, Like Damien, raised by the League of Assassins. She currently goes by Blackbat, and is Batman Inc.’s representative in Hong Kong.)

Stephanie Brown (originally Spoiler, then Robin, then dead, then not dead, then Spoiler again, then Batgirl. I’m not too familiar with her as a character, but I hear the current series is really good).

Batwoman (Kate Kane, a former-military femme lesbian and music fan. Batwoman: Elegy was one of the best comic series of the last decade, and there’s a long-awaited ongoing Batwoman series coming up soon).

Renee Montoya (formerly a Gotham city cop, currently the superhero The Question. She’s Latina and a tough, butch-ish lesbian. Has a history with Kate Kane.)

Huntress (Helena Bertinelli, the daughter of a mob-boss. She’s extremely violent and is willing to kill her enemies in certain situations, which frequently puts her at odds with Batman. She’s currently a member of Oracle’s Birds of Prey, and she’s getting a series [not sure if it’s a mini or an ongoing] post-reboot).

Er, I could go on. Batman’s supporting cast has a diverse selection of female characters. It would take a pretty shallow reading of them to think they all represented stereotypical images of femininity.

Joanna
9 years ago

Spearhafoc = Batman wiki =D

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Oops. I’m been spelling it “Damien Wayne”. It’s “Damian.

Good old Damian.

caseymordred
caseymordred
9 years ago

“and the only right the second asks for is the ludicrous one of nobody telling anyone they were accused of a felony. (On the grounds that the victim gets to be anonymous, which creates a strange false equivalence suggesting perhaps the victim should also be held on bail.)”

I don’t think the point is to paint a false equivalence. I think the point is that they genuinely fear that even an accusation will bring everyone running with torches and pitchforks, as the article seems to indicate.

Things Are Bad
9 years ago

Are you sure you’re not this Batman character, Futrelle? It’s either you or one of the other really dedicated trolls at Reddit like InfinitelyThirsting or BolshevikMuppet.

nedbeaumontjr
9 years ago

Damien Wayne, the current Robin….He’s arrogant, petulant and prone to extreme violence when not kept in check.

So, Batman’s son is an MRA?

Sharculese
9 years ago

@spearhafoc- i don’t really follow cape comics, and haven’t checked in on the batman world since dick grayson assumed the mantle, so i went to wikipedia to check on how bruce wayne came back, and i am a shocked, absolutely shocked to discover a grant morrison story is involves a convoluted mess of time travel and human experimentation

(all of that is said with total fondness. invisibles is my favorite series ever, i re-read it like once every two years)

Marc
Marc
9 years ago

This is the one of the most boring blog entries here… so, there’s a very mediocre troll on reddit.com/r/MensRights/ … and that’s all? He even posted that frequent…

Can’t we please talk about something more interesting…? And since it seems that we absolutely need to talk about trolls, why not about Morrissey?

He recently said: “We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead. Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried shit every day.”

😀

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jul/28/morrissey-norway-attacks-mcdonalds-kfc

Question: who is worse: Peter Nolan or Morrissey?

NWOslave
NWOslave
9 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy
“(On the grounds that the victim gets to be anonymous, which creates a strange false equivalence suggesting perhaps the victim should also be held on bail.)”

Don’t you mean accuser and not “victim” Holly? Since the only evidence would be the “accusation” itself, by calling someone a victim guilt has already been established. Why bother with any trial at all if the accusation determines guilt. Lets just save time, money and heartache to the victim and lock up the guilty perpetrator.
————————————————————–
@caseymordred
“I think the point is that they genuinely fear that even an accusation will bring everyone running with torches and pitchforks, as the article seems to indicate.”

Truely backwards thinking isn’t it? I mean it’s not like we hear stories about women falsely claiming rape and then instigating other men to beat/kill the man she accused to defend her honor or exact vengence. I mean men don’t instantly lose their jobs or suffer any inconvenience what so ever. Life goes on as normal for them afterwards. It’s just another example of male privilege and misogyny.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

and i am a shocked, absolutely shocked to discover a grant morrison story is involves a convoluted mess of time travel and human experimentation

Not only that; it had Caveman Batman, Pilgrim Batman, Pirate Batman, Cowboy Batman and Film Noir Detective Batman. It was awesome.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Oops. I’m been spelling it “Damien Wayne”. It’s “Damian.

I’ve been making a lot of typos in this thread.

redlocker
9 years ago

“Not only that; it had Caveman Batman, Pilgrim Batman, Pirate Batman, Cowboy Batman and Film Noir Detective Batman. It was awesome.”

Wait, what?

Is that the inspiration for Batman: The Brave and the Bold? 😉

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

That’s the Goddamn Batman to you!

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Morrissey is… Morrissey. He’s special, but we forgive him on account of There Is A Light Which Never Goes Out is the greatest love song ever.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Is that the inspiration for Batman: The Brave and the Bold?

Both take a lot of inspiration from the Silver Age.

Grant Morrison’s take on Batman is that everything, everything, written about him actually happened to him. All the crazy Silver Age happenings are real things he’s experienced, more or less.

For example, a Silver Age story involving Batman meeting the Batman of another world (Zur-En-Arrh) was retconned as an hallucination Batman put in his own memory to create a backup Batman personality in case he ever got brainwashed. That’s just how Batman rolls.

zhinxy
zhinxy
9 years ago

Spearhafoc – Well, as somebody who has spent quite a lot of time in Batfandom, I’m fairly sure that they aren’t “made-up-ones” so much as… Grass Girl = Poison Ivy, Joker Girl = Harley Quinn, and Latex Butt = Selina XD

Sort of a “names have been changed to protect the guilty” bit on the part of our brave troll for justice?

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Yeah, I think P:A-N(c) needs to establish himself as a singer-songwriter and 1980s sex symbol before we can judge this fairly.

I’m not saying being a singer-songwriter and 1980s sex symbol makes such sentiments okay, I’m just saying that Morrissey has given something to society. P:A-N(c) hasn’t provided us with so much as a karaoke tape.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

It’s more like how Morrison rolls xD

Also Zhinxy’s icon is pretty :3 (and I think she’s right about who the chars are supposed to be :3 )

Sharculese
9 years ago

spearhafoc left out the part where grant morrisson’s take on everything is colored by the fact that he is totally fucking insane. brilliant writer, but absolutely nuts.

It’s more like how Morrison rolls xD

sounds about right

Sharculese
9 years ago

Morrissey is… Morrissey. He’s special, but we forgive him on account of There Is A Light Which Never Goes Out is the greatest love song ever.

this is the correct answer.

also we forgive him on account of paint a vulgar picture, bigmouth strikes again, half a person, etc., etc.,

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Yes, I know that Morrison needs serious help, but I don’t want him to get it. Having him believe that he’s been visited by extra-dimensional beings is a small price to pay for All-Star Superman.

Sharculese
9 years ago

totally agree

Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

This is the one of the most boring blog entries here… so, there’s a very mediocre troll on reddit.com/r/MensRights/ … and that’s all? He even posted that frequent…

Can’t we please talk about something more interesting…?

You know what’s the most awesome thing about the internet? If you don’t like what’s on one website, you can always go to another.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Plus, we’re talking about Batman here. Batman! How could Batman ever be boring?

Sure, there are bad Batman-related things out there (Batman and Robin, I’m looking at you), but not a lot of boring ones.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

And Morrissey! Forget country, the Smiths are the true music of pain.

vacuumslayer
9 years ago

Question: who is worse: Peter Nolan or Morrissey?

Oh, this an easy one. Peter Nolan.

Arielle Shander
9 years ago

An anti-MRA subreddit?

…YESYESYESYESYES! Finally, a sign of SANITY! Cheers to the person/people who formed the subreddit Expose the MRAs for who they really are!

kristinmh
kristinmh
9 years ago

Film Noir Detective Batman

Ha! I actually want to read that now.

No, scratch that, I want to see that made into a film by Tim Burton, starring…hmm…Nicholas Cage.

marc2020
marc2020
9 years ago

As I’ve often said the mantra of Morrissey’ fans everywhere should be “Oh god what has he said now!?”

caseymordred
caseymordred
9 years ago

What else has Morrissey said? I love stupid controversies like this.

Shora
9 years ago

This guy is officially the best troll ever. He deserves a medal.

HINDU
HINDU
9 years ago

I’m 100% against MRA. What’s this mens rights silliness? Men have and have always had all the rights! India even has a huge MRA following. Imagine that? A country that burns women (accidental kitchen death, google it) if they don’t come with a big enough dowry, and they’ve got MRAs!?!?

STOP. Just stop.

Nedra
Nedra
9 years ago

It seems like the anti-men’s rights subreddit might face some avoidable criticism because of it’s name.

shaenon
9 years ago

Batman has always been surrounded by a ton of awesome female characters. If I were writing the Batman comic, I’d make him like Dolemite, hardly ever fighting with his own fists because he’s so badass that his women can kick the crap out of bad guys for him. Batman would just sit on a roof brooding.

Actually, Birds of Prey was kind of like that. But in the Dolemite version, Batman would also rap.

Snowy
Snowy
9 years ago

I want to live in your batman world.

Trollin'MRAs
Trollin'MRAs
9 years ago

I LOL’D! BatmensBegins is the proud owner of ONE FREE INTERNET, from me.

The subreddit’s great, but it would be even better if it was “againstmra.”

MRA don’t deserve to be called men. They’re little boys who can’t understand with the fact that ladies are a different gender, not a different species.