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Man Boobz Summer Video Fest 2: Steve on skidmarks

The Man Boobz Summer Video Fest continues with this contribution from some dude named Steve entitled “Women and Skidmarks.” More specifically, Steve explains why he thinks  women are a bunch of hypocrites for criticizing men who have skidmarks on their underpants. He clearly feels quite passionate about this grave injustice.

EDITED TO ADD: Bee has provided a helpful transcript of Steve’s remarks. But really, it wouldn’t kill you to click it. It’s really more amusing to see a guy say all this with a straight face.

Here’s the transcript:

Perfection issue that women have with guys. And I see this more with women than anybody else. Women are so obsessed, like, with finding the quote perfect guy, as if like they’re perfect themselves? You know, I was thinking about this. What are the statistical odds of women not having skidmarks on their underwear? It’s like, maybe a 0.01 percent chance. You know, I was watching this episode this one time of “Sex and the City.” And, I think it was the redheaded girl, Amanda, maybe, her name was? The redheaded girl on the show, her boyfriend Steve had skidmarks on his underwear and she found them, and she’s like EWWW. You know? And of course she doesn’t have skidmarks on her underwear, and she can do no wrong, right? And that’s the kind of thing that we’ve been so conditioned with, us men have to somehow be so perfect, and we don’t meet up to your expectations, but somehow we have to put up with all the women’s bullshit. And it’s really irritating to me how you, how women — how guys have just come to accept this fact.

Amanda is definitely my favorite character on Sex and the City. Well, her and Tinky Winky. And Tiffany. And of course Mr. Roper.

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Graham
10 years ago

You have to watch the video because the guy is Fredo out of The Godfather.

Marc
Marc
10 years ago

Now how often do have women skidmarks? Any personal experiences?

My sister had skidmarks on her underwear very often but my parents’ and my underwear were always clean.
This was a pretty traumatic experience of my youth — I was responsible for the laundry and I couldn’t help but noticing that every single time.
I didn’t say anything for years, and when I finally brought that up I couldn’t look her in the eyes for a long time.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

It turns out that your sister poops, Marc.

Also known to poop: Mr. Rogers, Scarlett Johanssen, adorable kittens, both your parents, Carmen Electra, the Pope (perhaps in the woods), every US President, Megan Fox, everyone you have ever loved or respected, John Barrowman, and pretty much every man or woman ever.

RobbiRobbi
RobbiRobbi
10 years ago

This video has 20 likes on youtube. I just lost my faith in humanity again.

Victoria von Syrus
Victoria von Syrus
10 years ago

You know, I’ve lived with several men and so usually ended up doing their laundry along with my own. Never once have I seen a skidmark or anything like it on their underwear. I suspect this somehow correlates to being able to attract women to them, but I’m still working on the specifics of that particular theory.

Marc
Marc
10 years ago

Having to bother with other peoples laundry is just horrible, one more good reason to be W/MGTOW.

Marc
Marc
10 years ago

Only omegas have shitstains on their underwear. Female and male. That’s why you only toss a fuck in them at night, with a bag over their heads, while dreaming of Angelina Jolie, when you’re desperate as fuck and your Fleshlight or vibrator’s broken.

My sister would be an omega, somehow I always suspected that.

But did you hear about this story some months ago of this guy who was fused to his chair sitting on his feces?

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/03/31/obese-ohio-man-dies-fused-chair-2-years/

“The man lived with two able-bodied roommates — including his girlfriend, who officials said fed him since he never got up — in a home in Bellaire, Ohio.

Girlfriend? Jesus Christ…

I just hope this woman was just living with him so she could get his welfare checks… otherwise the alpha-beta-omega-theory would be in much trouble. Because this guy isn’t an omega. The greek alphabet hasn’t enough letters to describe him appropriately.

redlocker
10 years ago

Whoa, whoa, hold up…MRAs are upset about basic hygiene issues, and hate when they’re told to clean themselves up a bit?

Holy balls. Family Guy in its golden years wishes it could come up with something this ridiculous.

Victoria von Syrus
Victoria von Syrus
10 years ago

Having to bother with other peoples laundry is just horrible, one more good reason to be W/MGTOW.

The arrangement is usually, I do laundry and bf cleans the bathroom. I’ll take washing undies over scrubbing a toilet any day.

Johnny Pez
10 years ago

I do my own laundry, so the presence or absence of skidmarks is a secret I will take with me to the grave.

Pecunium
10 years ago

Marc: The fusion wasn’t because of the excrement. It was because he’d not moved for two years. H could have (though it seems he wasn’t) completely clean (used a bedpan, washed after every bowel movement) and he’d still have been welded to the chair.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

I dealt with two people stuck in chairs when I was an EMT.

One was a man who only called 911 after he’d sat down, had some sort of neurological event, and been unable to get up for two weeks (he had a friend who was bringing him food, and as you’d imagine, he was sitting in an unbelievable puddle). I can’t imagine how that situation would have progressed over two entire years.

The other was a woman who pretty much lived in a chair long-term and had adopted it as a lifestyle. I’m not sure how long this had gone on but it was definitely more than a few months–possibly it was years. It was a recliner, so she leaned it back at night to sleep, leaned it up during the day to watch TV, and that was pretty much her life. She had a commode next to the chair although her usage of it was definitely on a “sometimes” basis–there was also plenty of crap on the chair. (The woman’s daughter brought her food and emptied the commode.)

That second call came in on the hottest day of the summer, and the woman had plastic sheeting over all her windows and no fan or air conditioner. The smell alone could’ve killed small children and housepets.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

Girlfriend? Jesus Christ…

I just hope this woman was just living with him so she could get his welfare checks… otherwise the alpha-beta-omega-theory would be in much trouble.

I suspect it was an incredibly codependent and/or abusive relationship if she never got him any help, and had long since developed into something far nastier and more complicated than any ordinary “we’re dating because we find each other sexy and we have good times together” relationship framework could encompass.

summer_snow
summer_snow
10 years ago

Bee, you found love-shy. com? Yeah, that site alone could power Manboobz for years. Please make sure to bring back some links and quotes for the whole hivemind to enjoy.

lexiedi
10 years ago

HAHA! I love how he thinks that Sex in the City… SEX IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ CITY has anything to do with actual women.

Ion
Ion
10 years ago

Even I think this is dumb. “We’re MEN, and we’ll fight for the right to shit ourselves! How dare women not like it, I’m not gonna change for them!”

And this is probably the kind of guy who wants a supermodel for a girlfriend, too. :/

redlocker
10 years ago

See, MRAs, even Ion gets it.

Notzy
Notzy
10 years ago

Anyone who manages to keep a girlfriend despite being glued to the seat with shit has the game of a GOD. Super alpha, I salute you.

Sex and the City is the universal female fantasy: shoes and handbags, mimosas at 8 am with your best entitled bitch friends, and a hot alpha man ready to commit even though you’ve hit the wall ten years ago.

ozymandias42
10 years ago

Can I just say that all the discussion of chairs is nightmare fuel incarnate?

Joanna
10 years ago

I hate Sex and the City >=(

no more mr nice guy
10 years ago

Steve Hoca was part of the True Forced Loneliness, a movement that was started in 2007 by three guys that are not able to get laid and blame all women for that.

The two other members are Dwayne, a 450 pounds guy that live with his mother :

and Bill, a psycho red neck that say women deserve to be raped :

Joanna
10 years ago

I couldn’t watch all that video. There’s some seriously socially challenged people out there.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

Oh wow, it’s the True Forced Loneliness guys! I’ve seen them before. They had this whole thing where women not-fucking them was basically an Illuminati conspiracy reaching to the highest levels of our society.

I’ll never understand why someone can hate women that much, and still be angry they don’t have one.

Although “have” is probably the appropriate and explanatory verb there. “Share their life with one, put their trust in her, and experience physical and emotional intimacy with her” would be hilariously wrong.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

Has anyone told these guys that such a thing as a “couple” exists, and a lot of guys are actually in one?

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
10 years ago

And I thought the skid marks guy was crazy.

Francois Tremblay
10 years ago

What is it with Americans and their inability to clean their own ass? Is it because they’re afraid that wiping their anus is too gay or something? Good ol’ American homophobia? Or do Americans not know enough hygiene? Or what? What’s the deal?

lexiedi
10 years ago

O my god! These are great! These videos seriously beat anything on TV. *eats another Jaffa Cake*

summer_snow
summer_snow
10 years ago

For those who don’t want to devote about fifteen minutes of their lives to these clips:

Dwayne: I’m so alone. And so angry. I don’t have a girlfriend, and I am angry about that, and no matter what I do, I have not succeeded in acquiring a girlfriend, and I am angry about that. This is True Forced Loneliness, and it’s horrible and I’m so angry. It’s forced, because there is nothing at all I have tried that has succeeded in getting me any amount of sex. Which makes me angry. PUAs tell men to paint their nails and stuff to get women, which is just so wrong that it makes me angry. In conclusion, don’t change yourself for a woman, guys.

Now, I’m just going to leave you some choice quotes from Bill here, and you can all independently decide if he’s aNyone We knOw.

“If women wasn’t doing this, and they wasn’t so damn picky, and any guy could go out and get a woman, you wouldn’t have people like David DeAngelo, you wouldn’t have all the hundreds of dating sites you have.”

“Do you think sixty years ago they had dating sites? […] Why didn’t they need dating sites? Because it wasn’t a problem then. Because our government had just started working on the plans they were working on then. Why is it such a problem now? Because our government started New World Order years ago.”

“I could brainwash this country so quick its head would fall off. Because that’s how easy it is.”

“Women really do believe they are smarter than a man.”

“My video that I made on women’s and men’s rights, I was straight across the border. Equal rights for both. […] I didn’t discriminate a bit. And I got slaughtered by women. I had a woman call me an asshole. […] I’ll tell you why she did that. Because she’s a feminist. And women don’t want men having the same power as them.”

“They can choose and pick and leave hundreds of guys to die alone and not give a flying fuck […] And then you can’t figure out why the rape is so high, you can’t figure out why the murder rate is so high […] Come on, it’s common sense. […] You know why that stuff’s so high? Thanks to our government, this New World Order, and thanks to women. Women. They don’t have hearts. Their hearts are black and cold from the propaganda.”

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

That does sound familiar.

lexiedi
10 years ago

From the second video above:

“Do you think they had dating sites 60 years ago? … They didn’t need dating sites 60 years ago.”

Correction… they didn’t have the internet 60 years ago, Bill.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

Maybe the solution to the Gender Wars is brown underpants.

Victoria von Syrus
Victoria von Syrus
10 years ago

They did have matchmakers, though!

lexiedi
10 years ago

“They leave men to die alone…” Yeah. Because, you know, we women should certainly make sure that no man is ever lonely. How dare we heartless harpies not go out of our way to make sure every man feels like a king?! That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?

Also… This Bill guy reminds me of Dale Gribble from King of the Hill….

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

They can choose and pick

Women always be *deciding* who they’re going to sleep with, am I right, fellas?

I’m not sure what the alternate plan is, but I have some proposals!
1. The government assigns each 18-year-old girl to an 18-year old boy, by random lottery.
2. When a man encounters an unmarried woman in public, he has the incontrovertible right to take her as his own.
3. A charity organization is formed to which single men can apply, and are issued a woman (all single women are required to register) upon approval of application.

Um… how else could this be done?

Victoria von Syrus
Victoria von Syrus
10 years ago

@ Holly:

We could always revert to the arranged marriage way of doing things, where you were just kind of stuck with whoever your parents picked for you.

chocomintlipwax
10 years ago

This reminds me of the time my brother tried to deflect criticism (of his not fetching me some pantiliners from the other bathroom downstairs when I needed them, on account of girl things being ew gross) by saying, “It’s not my fault you guys shit yourselves.”

Which resulted in my mom and I looking at each other and me saying, “YOU explain to him what those are for …”

I don’t get how you can watch TV and see umpteen ads about “feeling fresh” and assume that means you’re pooping yourself a bit.

Of course, pooping yourself a bit happens. You get the “uh oh” feeling and run to the bathroom, or feel icky and fart but it’s not really a fart. In those cases, you know what I generally do? I throw the underwear out. Depends on how much there is or what color the underwear is, but generally? Out. I also bled like a stuck pig on my period, so I wound up sacrificing more than a few pairs to the Moon Goddess (fuck her, srsly). And if you have a lot of trouble with that kind of staining stuff … BUY BLACK UNDERWEAR. It helps.

But don’t expect other people to touch your shitty undies. Seriously. Most women who bleed into their underthings go to wash them ASAP if they can be salvaged. I have a feeling that these skid-dudes are just leaving things to crust over. Who wants to touch that?? Gross. Just wipe your ass! I currently live in a share house with a lot of guys (and like, one other woman) and we all have to use our own toilet paper. I’ve never seen any of the guys bring TP with them to the bathroom. Ever. I can only imagine … x__x;; UNIMAGINE. UNIMAGINE.

Pecunium
10 years ago

Holly: The second guy admits that some men are “lucky” and have a relationship… but they are apparently quite rare.

On the other hand he must be really noble, or a martyr, or something, because he could brainwash the country in no time at all. Why he doesn’t, and so counteract the New World Order thus bringing an end to his forced loneliness is left as an exercise for the reader.

Pecunium
10 years ago

Holly: One way to solve the lonely guy problem would be to eliminate men.

darksidecat
10 years ago

Abuse and denial of aides with people with disabilities should not be in this discussion. It has nothing to do with the issue.

Moving on to on topic discussion about skidmarks, Marc, I sympathize with you if your sister was the skidmarker. My brother was the one in my family. My mother responded much like the guy in the OP, by exempting him from basic hygeine as a male (hence his filthy grossness in his early years). My father made up a cruel nickname and called him “shitstain” for years (jewels, both of my parents, eh?). People of all genders should be taught to deal with their own shit.

I just have that scene from Big Daddy with Adam Sandler in it where the kid is yelling “I wipe my own ass!” stuck in my head. Some people apparantly never get to that level of mad skills.

Sharculese
10 years ago

I currently live in a share house with a lot of guys (and like, one other woman) and we all have to use our own toilet paper. I’ve never seen any of the guys bring TP with them to the bathroom.

my roommates and i hang out most weekends at was is, essentially, a flop house. for the longest time, any girls who went over there had to remember to bring their own toilet paper, because there wasn’t any in the house. i was always like, fucking really, how do you not have toilet paper, at all?

shaenon
10 years ago

Maybe the equal rights amendment would have passed if there was something about blow jobs in there.

I keep wondering how far the feminist movement would’ve gotten if it really were like the MRA movement.

It’s 1852. A reporter asks Susan B. Anthony why she’s fighting for women’s suffrage. She answers, “Well, I want to marry a hot alpha like Edwin Booth, but I’m kind of horse-faced. So I’m trying to pass a law that will force a man to sexually service any woman who wants him. But not hot women. I mean, screw those alpha fucks. Also, it’d be great if I could walk around in poopy bloomers and no man would be allowed to criticize me.”

It would’ve made the Seneca Falls Convention more memorable. Especially since it was held in New York in the summer.

Magpie
Magpie
10 years ago

thanks darksidecat

summer_snow
summer_snow
10 years ago

@ shaenon: Remember Sojourner Truth’s timeless speech “Ain’t I Got a Right to Date Hotties?”?

Arielle
Arielle
10 years ago

“Perfection issue that women have with guys. And I see this more with women than anybody else. Women are so obsessed, like, with finding the quote perfect guy, as if like they’re perfect themselves?”

Yeah, and there totally aren’t guys who claim to only date “9s and 10s” on the Attractive People Scale (that’s APS for short, y’all).

What a hypocrite.

Johnny Pez
10 years ago

If feminism was like the MRM, there would of course have been no Seneca Falls Convention — just feminists writing occasional LTEs to each others’ newspapers complaining about what cads men were.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

Shaenon – That’s brilliant.

And it cannot help but remind me of Gloria Steinem’s stirring manifesto “Boycott American Men,” in which she implored her followers to import submissive men from other countries–or Betty Friedan’s pivotal “The Masculine Mystique,” in which she basically ranted for 400 pages about how bad men were and didn’t actually mention women very much.

Holly Pervocracy
Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

…this should be a forum thread. This is what the forum was made for. One moment…

MissPrism
10 years ago

Don’t forget Mary Wollstonecraft’s A Villification Of The Wrongs Of Men.