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Man Boobz Summer Video Fest 2: Steve on skidmarks

The Man Boobz Summer Video Fest continues with this contribution from some dude named Steve entitled “Women and Skidmarks.” More specifically, Steve explains why he thinks  women are a bunch of hypocrites for criticizing men who have skidmarks on their underpants. He clearly feels quite passionate about this grave injustice.

EDITED TO ADD: Bee has provided a helpful transcript of Steve’s remarks. But really, it wouldn’t kill you to click it. It’s really more amusing to see a guy say all this with a straight face.

Here’s the transcript:

Perfection issue that women have with guys. And I see this more with women than anybody else. Women are so obsessed, like, with finding the quote perfect guy, as if like they’re perfect themselves? You know, I was thinking about this. What are the statistical odds of women not having skidmarks on their underwear? It’s like, maybe a 0.01 percent chance. You know, I was watching this episode this one time of “Sex and the City.” And, I think it was the redheaded girl, Amanda, maybe, her name was? The redheaded girl on the show, her boyfriend Steve had skidmarks on his underwear and she found them, and she’s like EWWW. You know? And of course she doesn’t have skidmarks on her underwear, and she can do no wrong, right? And that’s the kind of thing that we’ve been so conditioned with, us men have to somehow be so perfect, and we don’t meet up to your expectations, but somehow we have to put up with all the women’s bullshit. And it’s really irritating to me how you, how women — how guys have just come to accept this fact.

Amanda is definitely my favorite character on Sex and the City. Well, her and Tinky Winky. And Tiffany. And of course Mr. Roper.

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Khal Mojo
9 years ago

I feel like I’ve been in a cave for the last ten years. These people really exist!?

Molly Ren
9 years ago

Notzy wrote,

“Only omegas have shitstains on their underwear. Female and male. That’s why you only toss a fuck in them at night, with a bag over their heads, while dreaming of Angelina Jolie, when you’re desperate as fuck and your Fleshlight or vibrator’s broken.”

For some reason, I imagined a woman fucking her poor omega dude in the butt while dreaming of AJ. That’s what he meant, right?

Molly Ren
9 years ago

@Ozy: Yeah, I am skipping that whole section of comments and going to Cute Overload RIGHT NOW.

Pecunium
9 years ago

Molly Ren: Here you go, Topical Cuteness.

Molly Ren
9 years ago

Pecunium: I LOL’d.

Raoul
Raoul
9 years ago

@Francois Tremblay, 5:27p “What is it with Americans and their inability to clean their own ass? Is it because they’re afraid that wiping their anus is too gay or something? Good ol’ American homophobia? Or do Americans not know enough hygiene? Or what? What’s the deal?”

We retain a strong Northern European Protestant heritage, which says bathing overmuch encourages sloth, vanity and touching oneself.

Also, the damn Moooslims wipe ass with plain water and a bare hand. Damned if we’re gonna wet ass like a terrorist!

Plymouth
Plymouth
9 years ago

Holly said: Maybe the solution to the Gender Wars is brown underpants.

I’ve worn pretty much nothing but black underwear since I started bleeding from my twat. It solves so many problems.

magdelyn
9 years ago

David,

It is actually kinda sad that you watch Sex and the City. I will remember that as I walk around New York next week.

I’m so sorry for you.

Anon for this one
9 years ago

chocomintwhiplash-thanks for mentioning that “shit happens”

I’ve got that issue on a semi-regular basis (IBD) and sometimes when wiping, you just miss a spot. I think throwing the undies out is overkill. That’s what soap is for. (similar to period issues) . I’m fairly sure my poop isn’t any grosser than baby poop, and any set of parents has to deal with that on a regular basis.

However, while I will admit to occasionally dirtying the underwear (better that than the clothes) I do not think it is some god-given right to expect people handling it to not complain about it, and for my own sake, I try to not make it an issue.

My husband on the other hand, has not to my recollection had skid marks show up.

Trollin'MRAs
Trollin'MRAs
9 years ago

So apparently most everything MRA/TFL/etc etc know about women, they learned from Sex and the City (with some supplemental info from Lifetime movies). That’s like a lonely woman playing Leisure Suit Larry and Duke Nukem Forever (with some porn for good measure) and making conclusions about men.

Trash media is trash media.

that guy
9 years ago

Criticism! The worst thing that can happen to any man!

Being not-fucked. Not-fucking a guy is the worst thing a woman can do to a man, doncha know? Women should only not-fuck guys who’ve, like, committed war crimes or something. To not-fuck an innocent man is a travesty.

No no no, it’s being not-fucked by the on-the-street equivalent of an underwear model. Being not-fucked by the unacceptably heavy, old, or ugly ladies is OK — though ideally they would prefer for them to not exist at all.