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PR for the MRM

The scribbled-out face of the Men's Rights Movement

Sometimes MRAs are infuriating; sometimes they are hilarious. And once in a long, long while they are simply adorable. Consider xavan512 (not his real name), a Redditor who thinks it’s high time that MRAs launched a PR campaign to defend themselves against the mean things said about them by “radical feminist blog’s or other ignorant people” who think that:

“Oh those MRA’s just need to get laid” “They are a bunch of lonely neckbeards” “They are just bitter” “They are probably forever alone’s” “They hate women” “Misogynists” ect.

Basically they are trying to make our concerns appear illegitimate because we must be whiny losers. Or because we “hate” women since we don’t adhere to the feminist dogma.

Ok, you say, so far he’s just being sort of irritating. But here is where the “adorable” part comes in. You see, whenever  feminist meanies suggest that MRAs are woman-hating losers, xavan512 proposes, MRAs should respond with “hard evidence” to counter this perception.  No, not penis pictures. Something even better:  pictures of themselves with actual, smiling girlfriends.

Xavan512 started by posting the picture in the top right. Yep, that’s xavan512 and his actual girlfriend, standing in a field, dressed to the nines (or at least the high sixes or sevens). He’s looking dapper in his suit, accented with a bold red tie, and she of course looks lovely in a totally cute dress with an utterly adorable tiny pink purse. I’m not sure if they’re on their way to a prom, or a wedding, of if they just like posing in outdoor settings.

By the way – I didn’t scribble over the faces  on the picture. Xavan512 did that himself, because, he insists, “being publicly MRA is socially taboo.”

After posting this photo, which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that xavan512 thinks highly enough of at least one human female that he is willing to stand next to her long enough to get a picture taken, this newly self-appointed MR PR guru urged his fellow MRAs “to post a picture of yourself or mention if you have a girlfriend/wife.”

Alas, xavan512’s plan met a certain degree of resistance from fellow Reddit MRAs.

OThomson complained:

Why post a picture of ourselves with our girlfriends, we do not need the Validation of a Women to make our cause just, i’ll freely admit i’m single and looking for the right person because looking for non-crazy, non-privileged, non-annoyance is a genuine trouble these days, i don’t resent Women for that (Ok i slightly resent their position as sexual selectors for our species because it gives them so much power over men) but on the whole i’m an MRA because i want to defend my rights and the rights of all Men.

Francomaistre was even more cutting in his criticism:

I’m sure you propose this with the best of intentions, but I’m with OThomson on this. Trying to engineer some kind of phoney boloney PR campaign with cherry picked images of smiling couples professionally photographed in semi-formal dress in pastoral settings seems like a pretty dramatic mischaracterization of many MRA’s experiences and subtly subverts the movement and concerns that drives many of us to be MRA’s in the first place.

Maybe it’s a separation or divorce situation, maybe we’ve been subject to a false rape or domestic violence accusation, maybe we’re sick of being stereotyped by the media as dim-witted psycho-violent timebombs just waiting to be tripped, or are just generally sick of being treated by second-class citizens by “empowered women” who can judge our sexuality, shame us, and even inflict physical violence on us almost entirely without consequence.

Someone woke up cranky today!

Here’s the thing: the adorableness of xavan512’s picture aside, if MRAs are tired of people calling them misogynists, there’s a much more direct way to challenge this perception – and that is to challenge the rampant misogyny in the MRM.  You want examples? Check the archives here. I’m kind of a lazy bastard, and I don’t like doing any more research than I have to, yet over the relatively brief lifetime of this blog I’ve managed to post literally hundreds of pretty outrageous examples of misogyny from the mouths of (or, rather, the keyboards of) MRAs. And that’s only scratching the surface. I don’t read every MRA blog every day. And I only post a tiny, tiny fraction of the misogyny I run across.  It is everywhere in the MRM.

If you’re an MRA, and you’re NOT a flaming misogynist, and you want your issues to be taken seriously, don’t post pictures of yourself with your smiling girlfriend.  Challenge the misogyny that surrounds you. Get together with other MRAs, and drum the misogynists out of the movement. Build bridges with feminists working on men’s rights issues. Just say no to the douchebags.

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Graham
9 years ago

Holly,

Regarding how partnered MRA types express themselves around the house, I read this the other day:

http://www.angryharry.com/esCalmBeforeTheStorm.htm

Warning — it’s very long. It starts like this:

“There is a fly on the wall in Angry Harry’s household.
What will it hear? What will it see?
Sssshh! Listen carefully.

“Shall I lay the table, My Dearest?” says Angry Harry.
“You are as thoughtful and as kind as ever,” says his missus, blowing him a kiss.
“Come along young ladies. Dinner is ready!” he calls out to his sweet late-teened little girls.

“Your mother has prepared a wonderful dinner for us all,” says Angry Harry. “Pray come. Let us eat together and enjoy each other’s most wholesome and welcoming company.”

“Oh! Yes please! Angry Harry,” they chorus. “Mmm. It smells so delicious!”
“Your mother is the best cook in the whole world,” says Angry Harry. “There is no other woman like her.””

… and ends up with this, when after dinner he’s on the internet and his daughters interrupt him:

“Oh, for goodness sake! Will you pleeeease f**k OFF! Can you not see that I am working you selfish harlots? Are you completely blind or something?”

… and this, when he’s still on the internet and his wife asks:

“”Are you coming to bed yet Honey?”

“WHAT!?”

“I said, Are you coming to bed yet? It’s already one o’clock.”

“For goodness SAKE WOMAN! Will you please shut up! Yap yap yap yap yap yap – all bloody evening! You’re giving me a BLOODY HEADACHE!”

Grrrrr!”

—-

But hey, I’m sure Angry Harry isn’t somebody held in high regard in the manosphere and that Not All MRAs Are Like That.

Jumbofish
Jumbofish
9 years ago

it doesn’t matter what YOU personally consider booming ion.

Let me give you an example lets say this blog was about books and lots of different people came and talked about books. In this scenario it would be booming. Its like saying feministing isn’t booming because the conversations are all about feminism.

“Actually, this might be a bit unfair – considering this whole blog’s purpose is to mock and criticize a segment of the population, the commenter’s behavior could be seen as a natural growth of that.”
ding ding correct whether you like it or not the subtitle of this site is: misogyny I mock it. It would be weird if no one mocked misogynist commenters.

Re-coments: In a blog post/forum even if said person has left its not unusual for people to respond after they left. I can post lots of examples if you don’t believe me. Online mediums are very informal, they aren’t like conversations so you can’t hold them to the same standard. Maybe you would have a valid point if they were talking about you after a week of not posting but it’s only been two days man TWO DAYS.

Graham
9 years ago

Ion, in response to your penis-cutting-off query:

I’m against people, of whatever gender, cutting body parts of other people. No matter what their motivation may be (unless they’re a surgeon performing an operation with the consent of the patient).

Is that clear enough for you?

Graham
9 years ago

Oops, typo. Sorry, that should read “I’m against people cutting off the body parts of other people.”

Jumbofish
Jumbofish
9 years ago

Oh kinda on subject:

“being publicly MRA is socially taboo.”

Hmm didn’t mral say the same thing. So question to all mra readers, are you out mras or hidden?

I’m just curious; I know there is a taboo to being a feminist but it never occurred to me mras have the same problem.

Ion
Ion
9 years ago

ding ding correct whether you like it or not the subtitle of this site is: misogyny I mock it. It would be weird if no one mocked misogynist commenters.

Yeah, agreed.

Re-coments: In a blog post/forum even if said person has left its not unusual for people to respond after they left. I can post lots of examples if you don’t believe me. Online mediums are very informal, they aren’t like conversations so you can’t hold them to the same standard. Maybe you would have a valid point if they were talking about you after a week of not posting but it’s only been two days man TWO DAYS.

No, I believe you. I even said that’s what would happen. So two days isn’t enough? Wow.

I’m against people, of whatever gender, cutting body parts of other people. No matter what their motivation may be (unless they’re a surgeon performing an operation with the consent of the patient).

Well, that’s good to hear. But have you thought it through? Are you sure it would be wrong, even if the victim is a worthless privileged male and the perpetrator is a woman, oppressed and disadvantaged by society? Feminist icon Valerie Solanas would disagree with you.

captainbathrobe
9 years ago

Lurking and reading the comments, then resuming commenting after one day or so, does not actually constitute “leaving.” Self discipline, people! It’s a good thing our forebears in the labor movement were made of sterner stuff.

Ion
Ion
9 years ago

BTW, that Angry Harry sounds like a nutcase but some of the articles he cites are a bit troubling. Italian bank manager was convicted of ‘sexual violence’ and lost his job after trying to kiss a woman on Valentine’s Day? French Parliament wants a law that makes it a punishable offense for comedians to insult gays and women? ‘Verbal harassment’ and ‘inappropriate innuendo’ should count as rape? A genetics professor describes men as parasites? And yet, men somehow supposedly have all the power and privilege…

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

Ion is still here. I haz a sad.

Ion
Ion
9 years ago

Ion didn’t stick the strike. I haz a sad.
Ion is still here. I haz a sad.

Your wit is truly scathing. Too bad you don’t “haz” a brain.

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
9 years ago

MRA icon Marc Lepine. Ergo, all MRAs are pro-murder.

Because, Ion, I’m assuming it’s now okay to start throwing out names of extremists and criminals to paint all people in a movement with the same extremist criminal brush.

captainbathrobe
9 years ago

Your wit is truly scathing. Too bad you don’t “haz” a brain.

I haz a bored.

FelixBC
FelixBC
9 years ago

Ah, Ion is just pissy that DKM didn’t get the memo. Really, MRAs, get it together. What Ion says RULZ.

And on that note, I’m going to go away for a bit, still read every comment, and come back in a day or two. Expert flouncer, me.

Magical Laura
9 years ago

Hahaha Valerie Solanas is a ‘feminist icon’…

Ion, let’s talk about George Sodini, MRA icon 😉 What did he think we should do to women?

Or maybe we can just assume that murderous psychopaths shouldn’t really be linked to any positive political movement. If I gun down 25 guys tomorrow and claim it was because of ‘feminism’, should I be taken at my word or tested for sociopathy?

mediumdave
mediumdave
9 years ago

Wow, Magdelyn is back… I had wondered where she’d gotten to.

(Magdelyn is a pretty unusual MRA, and I’ve often wondered what on earth led her to identify as one… there are plenty of other affiliations one can claim if one simply doesn’t like feminists.)

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Okay, one, I have to know where you got those sunglasses.

I got those ones at The Black Market, a thrift store on Queen Street here in Toronto.

I have three other pairs of round sunglasses, enough to colour coordinate with my clothes. My eyes hate bright light, so I need sunglasses whenever I go out. I figure I might as well look cool at the same time.

Now back to reading the thread…

zombie rotten mcdonald

Whoah, I have left this board for longer periods than Ion, just because I got busy. And I didn’t flounce away, either.

There was a troll at Sadly, No that did this too. “So long, liberals!” a day later, and it’s all “Didja miss me?”

He finally left for good, or got banned (an amazing feat at Sadly, actually). Nobody missed him.

Stacey C.
Stacey C.
9 years ago

Every time I see PEACE AND FREEDOM or something like that I think of the NH motto Live Free or Die which always seems a bit Live Free or ELSE! Also, obligatory, George Orwell observation.
I am a short, fat, unshaven, 3 cat-owning feminist. And I say unequivocally that I believe no one has the right to hurt another person unless in direct self defense. Period.
Oh, and I’m married…so I guess that kind of disproves that I hate all men. Or not…your mileage may vary.

ladryade
ladryade
9 years ago

Oh, how cute is it when MRAs can’t stop projecting? Just because you are proud misogynists that rejoice when a woman is raped or beaten doesn’t mean feminists are your equivalent. You are just an hilarious minority of incredibly misogynist men who whine on the Internet.

MRA icon Marc Lépine would be proud. 😉

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

One could be an MRA and not be misogynist (of course it would help if that person was also willing to stand up to the other people who are MRAs who are misogynists) because there are plenty of male centered issues that need attention.

Suicide prevention, prison rape, male on male violence are some of the big ones and definitely need attention.

However few of the online community really care about men and their issues-they just want to hate on women.

Pecunium
9 years ago

magdelyn self-describes oddly.

Magdelyn presents a woman’s point of view from a man’s perspective. is the opener on the profile comment to the blog linked to the handle here.

Genderfork profile post on her blog

I am who I am. I won’t apologise for not fitting into the gender binary. Nor will I apologise for not fitting into some queer theory category. I won’t conform my opinions to make you feel comfortable. I don’t care about your ideology, nor your cultivated indignities. If I offend you, “fuck you.”

We, of course, are supposed to care about her cultivated indignities. Hell, we are supposed to care about her fabricated indignities, and apparently we offend her, which she thinks matters, when if she offends it’s the middle finger to the world.

It is to weep.

Or not, because it’s a little hard to take someone who will also say she’s a, “stupid broad” and, “What’s a nice faux girl doing in a place like this? I’m stalking you. If ever we meet, it is probably because you have been designated for termination. Be afraid. Be very afraid,“all that seriously.

Pecunium
9 years ago

Ion: look at the ratio of “ion comments” in your absence, to the rest of the comments.

It’s not really about you. It’s about idiocy. When you act the idiot, it gets commented on. Saying that a week without the pithy comments of yourself, titfortat, etc. would be enough to “kill” the blog is fine. Coming back in two days and saying, “see, I told you guys you couldn’t live without us” is silly. It’s classic flounce. It’s sort of sad, really. I figured you to be made of sterner stuff. To have some manly fortitude.

My money was on three days.

Sarah
Sarah
9 years ago

Aw, Ion! I missed you, too! Welcome back to the fold! =3

Would you like a hug? =D

Joanna
9 years ago

Man. Atheist Elevator is still clogging up my inbox. I imagine all all feminists and misogynists AWAY!

Pecunium
9 years ago

joanna: That’s why I use the recent comments, or bookmarks.

Jumbofish
Jumbofish
9 years ago

[blockquote]Magdelyn is a pretty unusual MRA, and I’ve often wondered what on earth led her to identify as one… there are plenty of other affiliations one can claim if one simply doesn’t like feminists[/blockquote]

Same here, I can even imagine her reaction to other mras considering how much they hate people who don’t fit into traditional gender roles and women. :’(

Jumbofish
Jumbofish
9 years ago

gah quote fail again.

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

Sarah, if I flounce for two days will I also get a hug?

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

Ion is truly a manly-man. Look at how far and frequently he moves those goal-posts. Many times while jumping conclusions, fighting (and losing) old arguments, avoiding questions, doubling down on fallacies, and circling back on false logic.

Ion
Ion
9 years ago

Ion is truly a manly-man. Look at how far and frequently he moves those goal-posts. -citation needed

Many times while jumping conclusions, -citation needed

fighting (and losing) old arguments -citation needed

avoiding questions, doubling down on fallacies, and circling back on false logic.
-citation needed

Thanks, cynickal. I’m not as manly as most of you, obviously, what with agreeing & echoing each other and bravely joining the dogpile when it’s time to tell off a “troll”, but I do try.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

That didn’t last long. xD

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

I didn’t notice he was back before this comment xD

So basically.. Ion couldn’t stay away… so he comes back and claims “SEE I TOLD YOU I WAS RIGHT” so he can save face and get back into trolling without making it seem like it’s cuz HE can’t stay away xD

Snowy
Snowy
9 years ago

Ion must really love us. I feel so special.

MertvayaRuka
MertvayaRuka
9 years ago

Saying this blog can’t thrive without trolls is like saying a dog can’t exist without fleas. Sure, dogs almost always end up with fleas and will scratch when they have them but overall they’re a lot happier without them.

However I don’t think fleas are anywhere near as self-congratulatory when they illicit scratching as our trolls are.

Magpie
Magpie
9 years ago

When I see the post title in the sidebar, I keep reading it as “ZRM for PM”. I wonder what his policy platform would be? 🙂

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

I wonder what his policy platform would be

BRANES

Which would probably be a better platform than the Liberal Party would come up with.

Kave
Kave
9 years ago

Angry Harry

He does know that 4 full-time jobs meaning 8 hours a day would mean there would be 32 hours a day, with none of them for sleep. Even given an extra 48 hours for a weekend would not make up the time.

Angry Harry has a strange perception of time, and also how a father views his daughters. Very creepy.

Kave
Kave
9 years ago

Ion

Last time I was here you decided to leave. What changed your mind?

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

Ion decided that we were helpless without him. It turns out he’s actually doing us a favor by trolling the blog.

What a guy.

xavan512
xavan512
9 years ago

I’m touched guys. I’m a very moderate MRA, do in fact support women’s rights, and try my best to combat misogyny when I see it. I’d figure you’d have bigger fish to “fry.”

I think the comments here are hilarious: “Oh that’s his sister,” “He’s so tall compared to her the picture must be photoshoped” “MRA’s must secretly their women.”

Why do I sense that a lot of this is projection? Hell, even celebrity blogger Amanda Marcotte says “one woman lets him touch her.” It really must get under your skin that I am relatively open about my beliefs, and have no problem dating or hooking up with hot women.

LOL@ porcupines complaining about kittens. Seems to sum things up.

kudos to johhny pez for being one of the few funny commentators.