Women truly are devious creatures. Over on MGTOWforums.com, a young fellow named Deano exposes yet more evidence of their accursed misandry: the dreaded stare-and-sneer!
Let’s let him explain:
[M]any women have trouble making eye contact when they approach a man who they know to be perfectly harmless and friendly. As they come within the range where a male acquaintance would simply look you in the eye and nod or say “Hi”, our female friends will stare down and sneer as if you’re a giant slimy turd they cannot bare to look at.
I confess I haven’t run across this so much, but let’s take him at his word: this happens ALL THE TIME! What’s even worse, those pretty princesses often do this even after you’ve spent the whole morning Going Your Own Way helping out cute girls in case this might lead one of them to give you a blowjob.
You may have just gone out of your way earlier that day to fix her hairdryer or carry something heavy up 10 flights of stairs but all of that is forgotten when she sees the opportunity to show what a sulky little bitch she really is.
But Deano is ready for them.
I like to point at the spot they’re staring at as I walk past – as if I have some special powers to direct their gaze. I don’t do it all the time, but it can be piss funny especially when other guys watching are in on the joke.
In your face!
Surprisingly, the story got a bit of a mixed reaction from the other fellows over there. Stonelifter, a true blue MGTOWer, responded with a terse:
I don’t have female friends
Dr. Poon, a medical doctor Going His Own Way who for some reason seems to have specialized in the ickiest parts of a woman, was a bit more supportive:
It is counter-intuitive, but you are doing everything right.
NEVER avoid a woman’s gaze, let HER break the eye lock first and look to the side or to the ground. The establishes DOMINANCE on your end and SUBMISSIVENESS on hers.
LivingFree has a simpler approach:
I usually avoid looking at them during passing. I dont want to give them any impression I value anything about them.
Exactly! That’s why, whenever I spot a girl, I run and hide in a bush. Totally puts them in their place.
I am glad I gave up that whole feminism thing yesterday. I am learning so much about these foul creatures I used to worship.
EDITED TO ADD: I found the picture above here. I added the little red arrow.
I don’t see it as tattling, your bf would probably want to know if this guy was being assy to you. I would want to know if one of my friends was being a dick to my husband.
I can definitely see the whole tattling (nobody likes a snitch! j/k) thing- but, as a person who has been mischevious yet harmless since kidhood, I always felt like that word sort of shamed kids out of telling someone if they were really being bullied and stuff, you know? Your bfs’ friend sounds like a p-a (I second that one) turd and a misogynist. I would tell the bf, because if this dude only says that toxic shit when he’s not around, he KNOWS that he’s being an asshole, and thinks he’s cute and getting away with being a dick to his friend’s gf. I’d waste no time in stopping it. Hopefully your bf will support you in this- shit, he’d better, I think! Damn.
And what’s it? L’esprit d’Elescalier? That thing where you have an awesome comeback like way after they’re gone? Hate that! But, I am well-versed in the Snappy Comeback. Usually, a direct ‘you neeed to shut the fuck up’ works fine, at least as an opener.
Yeah, I know my bf would take my side in a heartbeat, which is one of the reasons he’s so awesome. But I don’t really want to come between him and his friend at the same time.
@Doctoress–or a good “sloppy seconds? like your mom?” might shut the guy up. But then I too am from the “shut the fuck up” school of communication and rhetorical studies when faced with asses like this.
One last thing, and I’m pissing off…
I wouldn’t worry about trying to be politic or anything like that. Nasty toxic behavior like that can be acceptably called out as nastily as it was dealt, I think. Cuss him out and make him squirm. Preferably in front of the bf, so he can see his ‘friend’s’ true colors.
Well, the problem then is that you’re switching the slut-shaming from her to the dude’s mom, so that makes another problematic thing.
The STFU is also saying ‘I am ordering you to shut up, because you are not worth anything more than that. Also, you are inferior to me since you are so rude and nasty.’ And then go back to talking with the grownups, you know? Kind of dommy, I guess, huh? I should work at a dungeon- where is one in this town? lol
I said I was going and I’m still here! FLOUNCE! LOL
I also like to say ‘YOU are working on my LAST NERVE.’ It makes toxic little boys think twice. Hee!
I’m sticking with the “I’m actually shocked you’d say something so rude to me” response. Although maybe it doesn’t work as well if he’s done it before. Maybe just something like “Y’know, just because you’re always rude doesn’t mean it’s acceptable” before turning on your heel and leaving. Then again, like I said, nonconfrontational here.
Sarah: Thanks for the hugs! I need hugs and coffee and a good cry and a tutor and and and. I think I’ve given up a little in one class. I’m gonna try to rock out a superstar final project for class number two though. In a bit… I think.
“Y’know, just because you’re always rude doesn’t mean it’s acceptable”
That’s a good one. If he says anything unpleasant tonight, I might use a variation on that line. Since my boyfriend and I are the hosts, leaving is less of an option tonight.
Thanks for all the advice! I’ll let y’all know if anything happened. Sometimes he’s perfectly civil and nice.
I dunno, I think it’s pretty confrontational to say those kinds of things to someone. So, I feel like I’d want to establish very clearly that I feel attacked. I mean, if I wanted to be less harsh, I would say something like what you said- or, maybe ‘That is a disgusting thing to say to me, and I REALLY don’t want you to talk to me like that again.’ I just like to swear, I guess. It’s so lyrical. 😛
Good luck Victoria, and Godspeed! 😀
/sends assertive and positive vibes
Good luck, Lady Syrus! I agree with everyone here! Especially because he dosen’t do this in front if your boyfriend, I think hew knows he’s being an ass-face, and so you should hold him to task for it! Bullies thrive on shame and silence! (Scorpions do too, for that matter. >_> *dosen’t actually play L5R, just knows a bajillion and a half people who do*)
And, of course, Bee! If anyone wants/needs hugs I am always happy to provide! It’s ok to sometimes just need to vent and cry. If you want to I can give you my aim or something so you can vent in a more private space, if you’d like! ANd I have faith in your ability to rock these finals! <3
Re: Eye contact.
Other people have said this before in the thread, but it really is a cultural thing. I spend most of my time split between the southeast US and New England. In the south, I make eye contact and smile with pretty much everyone person I pass on that street. That’s just what you do here. If you don’t already know someone, you rarely get more than a hello-nod unless you take further steps to actually talk to the person.
In New England, I never make eye contact on the street. People don’t really do that there. If you do, it is seen as a big gesture – usually either as kind of invasive or as an invitation to get hit on.
*sings* ‘It must’ve beeeen love, but it’s overrr noooowwwww.’
So, an interesting tidbit about the situation in France. In France on is presumed guilty (in law) as soon as one is arrested. Expect that in this case, from the get-go, the French press, and public figures, have all been saying he has to be presumed innocent.
Just an interesting factoid.
@luke,
By your contention that rape is only rape when force and violence are used, children are not raped when adults offer them candy if they allow the adults to do whatever they want to them; employees are not raped when bosses threaten them with firing if they don’t submit to their bosses’ sexual demands; people aren’t raped when unconscious or otherwise incapacitated; people aren’t raped when they are in the middle of a sexual activity and ask their partners to stop, but their partners continue; a person isn’t raped if someone else pretended to be hir partner while the lights were out and had “sex” with hir. And I could go on. You’re an idiot.
On eye-contact, for fuck’s sake, this is how my experience as a woman goes:
Have a casual conversation with a man you don’t know?
He thinks that entitles him to turn the conversation to try and make you agree to have sex with him.
Smile at a man just to be friendly?
He thinks that entitles him to a conversation with me.
Accidentally smile in a man’s direction?
He thinks I smiled at him.
Accidentally make eye-contact with a man?
He tells me to smile.
Avoid making eye-contact in order to avoid all of the above?
Well, apparently now I’m a “sulky little bitch”.
Fuck off! We can’t win, can we? Literally nothing we do is good enough for these assholes, and I wish it were limited to MRAs, but unfortunately it’s not.
Note: I’m sure there are plenty of men who do not behave that way, but for me most men I encounter in the above scenarios do, and it wears on you after a while.
luke123: This means that the proposition being presented by the prosecution must be proven to the extent that there could be no “reasonable doubt” in the mind of a “reasonable person” that the defendant is guilty. There can still be a doubt, but only to the extent that it would not affect a reasonable person’s belief regarding whether or not the defendant is guilty.
That, my dear boy, is called a trial. The accused retains the (legal) presumption of innocence, pending a jury (or judge if the accused waives the right to a jury trial), weighing the facts presented by both sides (this is called an adversarial system) and comparing the evidence against the law, and deciding which set of facts is more likely to be true than not.
I heard that crap before. Except it was (white) dudes whining that other furriners in Nipponland weren’t making eye contact/saying hello on the street. Strangers, mind you. Eye contact was def a nono there, although I paid attention to my surroundings well. Which meant I could always tell when people were staring. It isn’t unique to Japan, but they do love to stare at obvious foreigners. And being a girl meant I got an extra lot of it.
When talking about it, (white) guys would always tell me I should just stare back. It was really hard to get them to even listen to me–staring back would be an invitation. If I stared, well, I’ve explained well enough the stuff that happened to me there without staring. Guys just don’t get that for some reason. Read any of those “how to tell she’s interested” articles and they’ll say eye contact eye contact eye contact!
And if you do make eye contact they don’t look away, either. Tried it a couple of times. Even with making angry faces and a double bird flip. :/
Anyway, I hate eye contact. Prefer to look at someone’s mouth when they talk. And on the street? Forget it.
@Bee, I understand the feeling, somewhat. As I am the budget master, and because I think my only borderline lower middle class lifestyle is luxurious, I made two semesters worth of living expenses last the whole year, so I really can take the summer off. Of course, I can’t work for pay, because I have to make lots of money or basically none in order to have medical care. So I am being a lazy shut-in this summer.
I think this might be my themesong for the summer…
Bee-it is on history or the law?
Because if it is the law, I know a very narrow set of it.
@alex
My point is that not every sexual contact that is disliked by a woman should be called rape.
There are varying degrees, and rape historically meant that violence is involved.
Feminists want to change the meaning of words to make everyone questioning their claims or any scepticism be called rape apologism, and rape culture, thus watering down the meaning of the word.
see here: http://evebitfirst.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/a-man-is-a-rape-supporter-if/
Are you 100% sure that you never did any of the things in that list ? Don’t lie! If you did you are a rape supporter you know.
So.. wait.. I’m confused… WHICH female blogger represents all of feminism now? o_O;;
My point is that not every sexual contact that is disliked by a woman should be called rape.
Which kinds should not be? o_O
or if you dun want to list those.. what specifically should be? :] and what do you believe feminists think should be rape? (dun link to general lists.. or claim that some blogger is ALL of feminism xD this is about the worldview you’re working from, so we can be clear 🙂 you’re asserting things, you are reacting as if ppl are misinterpreting you : so to clear things up, what is your worldview? :] )
Elizabeth: Law. And I know nothing! And I don’t know how to take exams! This is bad.
Darksidecat; You’re smart! I was going to take the summer off, or at least just do my volunteer work, but after two weeks of vacation I thought, I’m going to get really bored, so I’d better find something to do, and … ugh. Need to work on that impulse control.