Good news, horny straight dudes! I can now report that the best, most efficient, most SCIENTIFIC way to score with the ladies is to figure out when they’re ovulating – and then act like a dick towards them!
Don’t take my word for it. Take the word of KRAUSER PUA, a guy so suave and superior his whole name is in ALL CAPS. As he explains in a recent blog post:
One of the things I’ve been meaning to do for months is to start tracking my targets with more scientific precision. …
It’s pretty clear that girls in peak ovulation are the best bets for first-time sex. It’s also clear they respond well to douchebag / aloof asshole game.
So here’s what I’m doing. I’ve just set up a spreadsheet to track all my active / still alive targets. Each one has a four rows representing each week of their cycle. Whenever I get any evidence to suggest they are in one particular week I’ll input it alongside the date. … Examples of evidence:
Week 1 – Bleeding: tells me she’s on the rag, allows sexual touching but stops me at her panties, wears trousers, smells funny
Week 2 – Normal: no unusual behavior
Week 3 – Ovulation: dresses sexy, talks and flirts, initiates touching, responds well to everything, allows escalation, gives back in sex chats, wisfully seeks excitement, goes clubbing
Week 4 – PMS: frumpy, lack of makeup, confused, bad moods, rejects all alpha / gamey banter, lack of interest in returning texts and calls
Seems like a foolproof strategy to me!
I think the only thing I would change is the wording. “Ovulation” has such a clinical, unsexy sound to it. I much prefer the slag term I just invented, “gettin’ eggy.”
It also makes the whole strategy much easier to remember. Just repeat the following “success mantra” every morning while you brush your teeth:
When she’s gettin’ eggy
It’s time to neggy
If all else fails, guys, you can always make a soft-boiled egg and fuck that.
Just wanted to add that ‘new friends ‘ doesn’t necessarily mean she’s only interested in friendship. It definitely could be to scare away jerks and to indicate that she’s not looking for marriage tomorrow 🙂 I sympathize with wanting to know *right away* but I agree that having that conversation over the phone could be read wrong.
I just told this woman I’ve been seeing that I’m not looking for anything serious, and because it was over the phone I now feel nervous that maybe she thought I don’t want to see her again 🙁
It can be so confusing.
Oh god OKC. I wish Annals had been up while I was still on it. I found FoSB there, so it wasn’t a total loss. But holy buhjeebus were there some creepazoids. 8 paragraph messages all about themselves, their philosophy and their child hood, negging, near-illiteracy. Basically the stuff you see on Annals. My neighbor at the time recognized me and began to be a creep. Uck.
The halls of my employer would be playing this non-stop.
I kind of wanted to walk down the aisle to the Imperial Death March, but my husband thought that might be too much for his family to take.
I feel like I should create a series of tee shirts that people could wear on dates:
“This is a FIRST DATE ONLY.”
“I REALLY LIKE YOU AND I RESPECT YOU SO YOU PICK THE TIME FOR SEX”
“I WANT SEX”
“I AM NOT INTERESTED IN MORE THEN FRIENDSHIP”
Stuff like that to kind of make it obvious what you want without having to actually gasp say so. Because I do not know about the rest of you but I really am terrible at communicating my wants/needs or whatever so wearing a tee shirt would help tell the other person. Been trying really hard to be open with 13 though.
@Beth, maybe we should try to bring the old queer bandana system back into vogue. 😉
Hmmm, I’d be constrained by colour choices with the bandanna system. As much as social clarity would be a boon, I’m not sure if it’s worth wearing something that might clash with my suits.
And about the thing: I agree, in the clear light of day, that asking over the phone would be a bad idea. I’ll just play it by ear. Life’s too short for worrying about junk.
Okay, then we should have cards. But not the same kind of magyc cards that Ami is making but something that you can hand to the person that says what you really think.
“So here’s what I’m doing. I’ve just set up a spreadsheet to track all my active / still alive targets. ”
I…um…”still alive”? As opposed to what, the ones he already got rid of and buried in the garden?