CONFIDENTIAL TO ALL GUYS
LADIES DO NOT READ
Guys, I think I may have been wrong about this whole “feminism” thing. It turns out that the ladies use what’s called their “periods” to manipulate men and act like perfect entitled princesses — at least, as perfect as you can be when you’re bleeding from your crotch!
Anyway, one of the ladies just spilled the beans in an interview with Jezebel. Rachel Kauder Nalebuff – that is so obviously a fake name – told Jezebel’s Anna North:
[F]rankly I … see [menstruation] as a free pass when it comes to getting out of a bind. Guys often know so little about menstruation that they assume the absolute worst. Maybe out of a fear of menstruation or, even more likely, a fear of seeming insensitive, guys tend to be incredibly generous when it comes to giving you freedom to tend to your “feminine needs.”
Menstruation? More like Men Ruination!!
I hereby renounce feminism.
And not saying that this is all guys, certainly, but I’ve met a few men who were uncomfortable as hell about a roll of cotton on a string and infants being fed in public, but had no problem at all bragging to their friends about how big a crap they just took, how much they like to poo, etc. So, at least in those cases, it seems like it’s less about the grossness of bodily functions and more about women’s stuff vs. men’s stuff, and the grossness of the world of women potentially rubbing off on a guy.
When I was an au pair the mother I worked for got that shit a lot. We laughed at people, because the law in Calif. says we can. but yeah, it was infuriating. Men (mostly, though there were women too) who got all upset that a baby was eating.
I’ve seen all sorts of arguments, but they all boil down to, “breasts are for sex and seeing them being used for not-sex disturbs me”. Well, that and, “breasts are for sex, therefore any display of them is sexual”. The one’s that really pissed me off were the people (and this was more often women) who were all upset that children would see breastfeeding, and that wasn’t appropriate…. at which point the sheer stupidity of it makes you stare goggle-eyed.
I liked what Lewis Black said about the idiocy surrounding Janet Jackson’s shirt being ripped open:
At the end “What would have been shocking is if they had ripped the dress open and a bear had jumped out and eaten some of the dancers. That would have been bones flying, blood and organs everywhere, then you would have needed counseling on Monday.”
Yes, funny how normal bodily functions can be such a source of great pride for some men, but must always be a source of great shame for women, and even for those normal bodily functions that both men and women share.
Plymouth: the shirt is fantastic!
I think you ought to do a NEW one, a partner one so to speak.
And yes, men’s views of women’s bodily fluids–I had a relative who worked in a gas station and swore up and down that the grossest ever thing ever found in the bathrooms when he was cleaning were used menstrual products (pads or tampons).
Having cleaned the trailer my mom rented to two college dudes a few times after one pair moved out and before another moved in, I doubted it, and listed some examples of what I cleaned up, but he didn’t buy it. MOST gross.
That’s almost literally what Bill Maher said on one of his shows. That’s when I stopped listening to his podcasts.
He really said that?? Say it isnt so..I love Bill Maher
A little late to the party, but I have never used my period to get out of anything (except for the very first first time I got it, where I tried to get out of a swim meet because I had no fucking clue how to put in a tampon). I have a love/hate relationship with it. I love it because it means I’m still not pregnant, but I hate it because it means no oral for me for a week.
I’m so glad that my boyfriend isn’t weirded out by my period. Sometimes I have excrutiating period cramps and he lies with me and strokes my hair until they pass. The first time it happened, he called his mom (who is a nurse) to make sure I’m okay.
But other than being a bit over worried (he always is, period or no), he never whines about getting me pads. On one of our first dates, we went to Disneyland and he carried a pad in his back pocket for me.
I can’t stand it when men get all grossed out about it. It’s natural.
Plymouth: I’m about to start my period and I’m SO going to dye a t-shirt!
Swgmigranes: You totally reminded me! The first time my boyfriend and I got sexual, I was still slightly on my period and he gave me oral… I was more worried about it than he was.
Totally have a love/hate relationship with my period, too.
She has a point about the abuse of menstruation as a free pass for bad behaviour, though. Despite the myth of PMS being debunked years ago, plenty of women still think they can blame the imaginary effects of their bleeding vaginas for their inability to control their own behaviour and emotions. The “that time of the month” cliche needs to go, it’s time for women to learn some responsibility.
Arks, while I tentatively agree that everyone should be responsible for their own behavior regardless of hormonal issues, how much of what you’re saying is really “I can’t stand it when a woman acts unpleasant and I can’t command her to stop?”
See, that’s the thing about feminism, women shouldn’t be expected to be pleasant for men whenever men want.
Um. Arks, as a woman who *has* PMS, what on earth are you talking about?
I don’t use it as a “free pass” or anything, because most of the people in my life are awesome and I don’t need to, but there are real, serious symptoms involved. Including suicidal ideation, for me!
I have seen no evidence to the existence of PMS. It has no established cause, no established symptoms, and patients respond just as well to placebos as hormones or drugs. So yes, I think I’m perfectly justified in calling PMS an imaginary condition.
You guys can make fun of old gender ideas all you want, but I think that the classic Victorian medical truism of “women just making shit up” still holds water today.
Citation needed–because you are claiming there that the condition has been researched and the scientific process has shown it does not exist (and if it comes to that, other conditions response as well to placebos as to hormones or drugs, so does that mean they don’t exist?)
List of symptoms
Causes
All part of a total reproductive cycle known as the menstrual cycle.
Arks, just because you haven’t seen any evidence doesn’t mean there isn’t any. Are you a gynecologist? A medical doctor of any sort? A scientist who researches this? Are you a person who menstruates, or has ever menstruated? Do you even know anyone who menstruates?
What evidence could you possibly be privy to?
Hormones are things that cause physical changes and since hormones regulate periods and are not perfect, sometimes that does mean that women have real symptoms of pain and other problems.
Oh, and I did a quick search in medical databases at my school, and while I’m no medical expert, the top hits do not suggest that the whole medical profession is pooh-poohing the existence of premenstrual syndrome:
Alt-HealthWatch
Title: A Qualitative Study to Determine the Efficacy of the Homeopathic Similimum in the Treatment of Premenstrual Syndrome.
Author: Komar, Tania
Add.Author / Editor: Peck, K. S.
Torline, J. R.
Deroukakis, Marilena
Citation: American Journal of Homeopathic Medicine Fall2006, Vol. 99 Issue 3, p195-203
Year: 2006
Abstract: Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is defined as the cyclical occurrence of physical and psychological symptoms in the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. It is characterized by irritability,mood swings, anxiety and depression, breast tenderness, breast swelling and weight gain. The study aimed to determine the efficacy of the homoeopathic similimum in the treatment of PMS. Eleven participants were recruited and nine completed the study. They participated in five homeopathic consultations over a period of four months. The researcher determined each participant’s individual homeopathic remedy by evaluating their unique symptoms. During each cycle participants were required to score their daily symptoms on a PMS chart, the results of which were analyzed using the one,way Analysis of Variance (ANOVA). Breast tenderness was ameliorated in the first month of treatment, while irritability, depression, breast swelling, abdominal bloating and food cravings improved in the second month of treatment. In the third month of treatment, the similimum was significantly effective in treating anxiety. The results of this study demonstrate that the homeopathic similimum is one method of investigating homeopathic treatment in PMS. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]
Resource: Alt-HealthWatch
Title: A Randomized, Placebo-Controlled Trial of Ginkgo biloba L. in Treatment of Premenstrual Syndrome.
Author: Ozgoli, Giti
Add.Author / Editor: Selselei, Elham Alsadat
Mojab, Faraz
Majd, Hamid Alavi
Citation: Journal of Alternative & Complementary Medicine Aug2009, Vol. 15 Issue 8, p845-851
Year: 2009
Abstract: Background and objectives: During the reproductive years, most of menstruating women experience symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which is incapacitating in up to 10% of cases. According to complicated etiology, various therapeutic approaches have been proposed. Because PMS is a chronic situation, special attention should be paid to the side-effects of pharmacological interventions. Herbal medicine is a recent favorable therapeutic approach owing to fewer side-effects. We aimed to determine the effect of Ginkgo biloba L. on the symptoms of PMS. Methods: This was a single-blind, randomized, placebo-controlled trial conducted from November 2007 to April 2008. The students with PMS, living in dormitories of a medical university (Tehran), who met the inclusion criteria entered the study. The students filled out the daily symptom rating forms in two consecutive menstrual cycles. After we verified the PMS diagnosis in 90 students, the participants were randomly assigned to experime
nt and placebo groups and took G. biloba L. tablets (containing 40 mg leaf extracts) or placebo three times a day from the 16th day of the menstrual cycle to the 5th day of the next cycle. Data were collected using daily symptom rating forms. Results: Eighty-five (85, 94.4%) participants completed the study. The two groups were similar in terms of demographic characteristics and baseline overall severity of symptoms. After the intervention, there was a significant decrease in the overall severity of symptoms and physical and psychologic symptoms in both Ginkgo (23.68%) and placebo (8.74%) groups ( p < 0.001). However, the mean decrease in the severity of symptoms was significantly more in the Ginkgo group compared to the placebo group ( p < 0.001). Conclusions: G. biloba L. can reduce the severity of PMS symptoms. Further research on active ingredients and also the efficacy and safety of various doses and treatment durations of Ginkgo are required. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]
Health Source: Nursing
Title: Adiposity and the Development of Premenstrual Syndrome.
Author: Bertone-Johnson, Elizabeth R.
Add.Author / Editor: Hankinson, Susan E.
Willett, Walter C.
Johnson, Susan R.
Manson, JoAnn E.
Citation: Journal of Women's Health (15409996) Nov2010, Vol. 19 Issue 11, p1955-1962
Year: 2010
Abstract: Background: Moderate to severe premenstrual syndrome (PMS) affects 8%-20% of premenopausal women and causes substantial levels of impairment, but few modifiable risk factors for PMS have been identified. Adiposity may impact risk through the complex interaction of hormonal and neurochemical factors, but it is not known if adiposity increases a woman's risk of developing PMS. We have addressed these issues in a prospective study nested within the Nurses' Health Study 2. Methods: Participants were a subset of women aged 27-44 and free from PMS at baseline, including 1057 women who developed PMS over 10 years of follow-up and 1968 controls. Body mass index (BMI), weight change and weight cycling were assessed biennially via questionnaire. Results: We observed a strong linear relationship between BMI at baseline and risk of incident PMS, with each 1 kg/m2 increase in BMI associated with a significant 3% increase in PMS risk (95% confidence interval [CI] 1.01-1.05).
p.s. homeopathic is not the same as placebo, remember!
ahahahaha, love the barrage of information from people to Ark! I’ve actually seen a change–I never had any pms symptoms when younger, but an extremely variable period (sometimes eight weeks) — I’m in perimenopause now, but the last few years, definitely some mild PMS. I’ve had friends who had horrific symptoms, though, and yeah, can remember when the whole thing was dismissed by male medical professionals.
I would like to point out, from the link PFWAE provided, “Women with depression may have more severe symptoms during the second half of their cycle and may need to have their medication adjusted. The suicide rate in women with depression is much higher during the second half of the menstrual cycle.”
This is a *very* serious symptom of PMS. Does it sound overly dramatic to say that I could die from PMS? Because, I kind of could.
Well obviously it was all in our little heads Ithiliana-after all if a man does not experience it, it did not happen!
However I do like to make jokes about my sinus headaches being in my head…cuz it is true!
It’s all part of the conspiracy xD
I’m glad Arks around, I need him to clarify his advice from yesterday! 😀
So compliments scare off guys? So I shouldn’t compliment him? o_O What if he compliments me? I should be coy and not assertive? how do I let him know I’m interested, if I can’t express interest? o_o if I offer to buy him a drink afterwards like ppl suggest is that a rly bad idea? 😮
There is plenty of research on PMS, but it doesn’t mean it’s any good. What you have to remember is that we’re talking about feminist science, not real science. Science is about looking at the evidence, and drawing conclusions. Feminism is about starting with a conclusion, then looking for evidence to support it. When you combine the two, you get faulty results.
Fact is that unless feminists can come up with a definition of the cause and symptoms of PMS, and conduct double-blind tests showing cyclical mood variations, it is as good as imaginary.