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Aunt Flo: The Great Deceiver

"That time of the month" is actually a time of great joy for the ladies!

CONFIDENTIAL TO ALL GUYS

LADIES DO NOT READ

Guys, I think I may have been wrong about this whole “feminism” thing. It turns out that the ladies use what’s called their “periods” to manipulate men and act like perfect entitled princesses — at least, as perfect as you can be when you’re bleeding from your crotch!

Anyway, one of the ladies just spilled the beans in an interview with Jezebel. Rachel Kauder Nalebuff – that is so obviously a fake name – told Jezebel’s Anna North:

[F]rankly I … see [menstruation] as a free pass when it comes to getting out of a bind. Guys often know so little about menstruation that they assume the absolute worst. Maybe out of a fear of menstruation or, even more likely, a fear of seeming insensitive, guys tend to be incredibly generous when it comes to giving you freedom to tend to your “feminine needs.”

Menstruation? More like Men Ruination!!

I hereby renounce feminism.

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PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Or funny Kirby.

Johnny Pez
13 years ago

Curse you, kirbywarp! I had a monopoly going on!

What do you want for North Carolina Avenue?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

@Johnny:

Park Avenue. And 1000 dollars. And I won’t trade with you for anything else. (Yes.. this is the way my siblings played… I never enjoyed monopoly much)

Magatha
Magatha
13 years ago

Ha Ha Fucking HA! My lady-bleeding factory is closed! Closed! Shuttered forever, and all my dear little hormonal helpers are enjoying their hard-earned little retirements in Belize. I has no lady-blood, and thus I am invisible, and also the lady reading rules don’t apply to me.

Johnny Pez
13 years ago

Park Place?!? And maybe you’d like the remote control for my pacemaker while you’re at it?

Alex
13 years ago

@Fuck MRAs,

lmao! That’s almost as bad as the guy I knew who thought (and insisted to me) that the clitoris was located inside the vagina. That and the guys who think women urinate from our vaginae.

Oh, I remember when my whole class found out about mine, on my third period ever (I was eleven). Surprisingly enough, though, two of the class comedians (both male) stood up for me.

theLaplaceDemon
theLaplaceDemon
13 years ago

“Goddammit I specifically told you ladies not to read this.”

Did your Feminist Control Chip (TM) fall out again, David? They really don’t make these thinks like they used to…I’m filing a complaint with the Feminist Overlord Corporation.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

Well it’s been another long day children, so I can’t stay. I see all twelve of you have been busy with important goings on and stuff. Personally I didn’t think women needed an excuse to act just any ole way that want, not with Big Daddy close at hand. But I guess one more loophole, (hehe), couldn’t hurt.

Seriously though, half the comment’s look like that 1000 monkeys on 1000 typewriters thingy. Than you have Plymouth and ithiliana with their tie-dye mestrual shirts and finger paint blood art. That shit could make a sailor vomit. Speaking of shit, why not shit art? Go for the gold, make art out of all your bodily functions. Finger painting with snot sounds like a winner for this crew.

I know you high-minded, sophisticated gals in feminist circles believe the world revolves around your pussies, but damn!

Magatha
Magatha
13 years ago

Oh, NWOslave, are you still around? I thought you had flounced out, or (alternatively) exited the scene in a manly fashion.

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

NWO – I was listening to a song yesterday and it reminded me of you. The chorus goes like this:

Go on crush me like a flower, rusted from the rain
Come on, strip me of my power, beat me with your chains
And if I’m the king of cowards, you’re the queen of pain
I’m rusted from the rain, I’m rusted from the rain

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

@Johnny Pez:

Actually, yes, that would be lovely. >:D

@All:

I used to be uncomfortable about period talk. Until I started living in a co-ed dorm. That fixed that particular hang up quite quickly.

@NWO:

So… we’ll eventually recreate the works of Shakespeare? Awesome! Also… erm.. well, I’ll just leave this here. You might be amazed at the things you can find on the internet.

Blood art squicks me out a bit… But I gotta say, the colors are pretty awesome (like watercolor.. for obvious reasons).

ithiliana
13 years ago

F for reading comprehension, NWO

I linked to a community where women made menstrual blood art (and why not, guys do all sorts of crap with their penis, metaphorically speaking). It’s not my art. I write, and have no talent or inclination whatsoever for the visual and graphic arts.

ithiliana
13 years ago

I also have just two words for NWO: Piss Christ!

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

This is the weirdest thing that NWO has ever gotten upset about XD

(but still not as weird as MRAL being upset about USian vs American xD)

ozymandias42
13 years ago

Piss Christ actually seems really devotional to me…

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

@ithilana:

Actually, have you heard of this guy? He paints! With his penis! Even better, its played straight, with paint and stuff. This world we live in, isn’t it beautiful?

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

Piss Christ will hopefully short-circuit NWO for good.

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

Oh! There’s also Selgado’s semen photography.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

Also.. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to read this or not o_O

Or use that as an excuse xD Who knows? It could work xD I bet I could even convince some guys that once you take female hormones your body finds a way to have a period o_o (not that I would xD )

Besides, ppl seem to keep thinking I can get pregnant xD before I even had my name change.. and my gender can’t be changed on my medical records, I went to get my wisdom teeth removed, and the whole time they kept reading out my chart and going by my former male name, and then kept asking me if I was pregnant before the x-rays and stuff… it was so weird.. it was like my passing did one thing to their brains, and it overrode the charts xD (that or they couldn’t be sure if I was FTM or MTF cuz my appearance didn’t match the name/gender so they played it safe, either way xD )

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

And the million guys who have written their names in the snow …

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

I find it cute that in between busy days, NWO rolls out of bed, curses at us, and then goes back into bed (prolly cursing that he doesn’t have more time to curse at us online xD )

Johnny Pez
13 years ago

got other people to piss on his paintings for him

Trying to beat the critics to the piss. Er, punch.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

Like I said pretty damn tired, I need sleep. Magatha, Still around? One post and you ask if I’m “still” around. Feminist humor I guess. Art Kirbywarp? OK, if you lefties say so. Yea ithiliana, I remember, some years ago some lefty pissed in jar and tossed in aa upsidedown crucifix. All part of the lefty tolerance thingy. Ya know like not mocking someone elses faith. Well except Christianity, yeehaw, it’s open season lefties and there’s no limit.

Goodnight, or should I just say, “flounce.” Haha, too funny.

Johnny Pez
13 years ago

too funny

Sure is.