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Happy Pride Day, non-existent gay men!

Well, you're no lady. But I guess you'll do.

Today, as many of you no doubt know, is Gay Pride Day. Here in Chicago, that means the annual Pride Parade, a celebration of all things LGBTQetc — and a nice aerobic workout for parade participants. (Gyrating on a float for three hours dressed in a leather harness and thong will burn roughly 1000 calories. But beware of chafing!)

Rookh Kshatriya, proprieter of the Anglobitch blog (devoted to the notion that women in the Anglosphere are, well, bitches), has evidently decided to celebrate Pride Weekend by offering us all his theories on gay male sexuality. Which is to say, his theory that there is no such thing as gay male sexuality, and that all those gay men out marching today would much rather be spending their Sunday eating bagels and doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with some comely (non-lesbian) lasses.

Yep, in Rookh’s World, gay men – or, as he puts it, “gay” men — are actually nothing more than exceptionally horny straight men who have been unfairly denied sex-on-demand with women of their choosing.

Let’s let him explain this:

Despite their rhetoric about lifestyles and the contemplation of flowers, gay men are clearly entranced by orgasm to an extent far surpassing that of heterosexual men.

Alas, in our Feminazified world, women sometimes refuse to have sex with men. Deprived a natural outlet for their sexy urges, horny dudes have to, well, improvise a bit. Why try to finagle your way into a vagina assiduously guarded by some dumb lady, when other dudes just as horny as you have holes of their own available for the asking?

As Rookh  sees it, these uber-horny dudes really have no other choice.

[A]re most gay men just hyper-sexualized males – a self-selecting group whose priapic urges can only be satisfied by rejecting the relative sexual deprivation inescapably attendant on heterosexuality? The more one considers this possibility, the more plausible it seems. Even some badass with the looks of Apollo, the Game of Roissy and the confidence of a warlord would struggle to enter a nightclub and say: “I want sex NOW!” and expect to get it.

A terrible, terrible injustice. But there is a way out:

Yet homosexual men can enter any gay bath house in any Anglosphere city, say the very same words and expected to be sexually serviced by several men in a matter of minutes! In short, the sexual mismatch between the sexes makes the heterosexual lifestyle a poor option for any hyper-sexualized male – a non-option, in fact, if he wants to fully slake his sexual thirsts. By contrast, adopting homosexuality allows him to instantly indulge his every sexual whim in every manner conceivable.

Unless, of course, these whims involve sex with, you know, women. But lust is apparently stronger than mere sexual orientation. As Rookh sees it, homosexuality is the only rational choice for uber-horny men – even if they’d rather be boning women.

Since sex is so scarce and difficult to acquire in a heterosexual context, it simply makes no sense for an Anglo-American male with priapic urges to remain heterosexual – hence the self-selection of hyper-sexualized males towards homosexual lifestyles, not to mention the hyper-sexualized nature of homosexuality itself.

Is this all a prelude to a touching coming-out announcement by our man Rookh?

No such luck. It’s actually an excuse for, yes, more feminism-bashing. For it is the evil feminists who, in Rookh’s world, have been  encouraging the “female sexual ostracism” of poor suffering straight men:

As we all know, women seek to control men by limiting sexual supply, be it representational (pornography) or actual (prostitution) – and that feminism is, essentially, an institution created for that purpose.

And so, in Rookh’s world,

homosexuality has advanced in lock-step with feminism. … [F]eminism – by assailing marital monogamy and allowing women to indulge their primordial attraction to dangerous thugs, moronic bullies and swaggering plutocrats – produced an unwanted ‘rump’ of educated, economically stable but sexually disenfranchised males. Given that gay males are disproportionately intelligent, solvent and educated, it is fairly obvious that members of this group have opted for homosexuality as a means of escaping the living death of involuntary celibacy, that the two phenomena are in fact closely related and that feminism is directly responsible for the advancement of homosexuality across the Anglosphere.

Feminism, by encouraging women to say “no” when they don’t actually want to have sex, may have created modern homosexuality, in Rookh’s view. But that doesn’t mean that feminists actually like gay dudes. No. Ick!

[T]he vast majority of Anglo females detest gay men as vehemently as they hate men in general.  … the real link between pan-Anglosphere feminism and homosexuality [is that] the latter is a reaction to the former, which hates it with boundless counter-reactionary zeal.

Yeah, seems to me that the only one here who really “detest[s] gay men” is, well, Rookh, so much so that he’s decided to completely erase gay male sexuality – to put “gay” in scare quotes – in order to give himself another opportunity to run down feminists and women in general.

Now, human sexuality is a weird, messy, complicated, wonderful thing. It may well be that some bisexual men end up having sex with men more often than with women because they find it easier to find male sex partners for casual sex. But guys who are thoroughly gay – who would score a 6 on the famous Kinsey scale – don’t actually want to have sex with women. They really don’t. Drop a beautiful, eligible, horny (straight or mostly straight) woman in the midst of a bunch of Kinsey 6 guys, and this is what you get:

Court’s free!

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Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

Not fat is not fat. I get to be the judge of that. My standards aren’t unrealistic though, I don’t like crack skinny. They usually don’t have big tits.

M Dubz
M Dubz
13 years ago

@MRAL: Listen, kid. The reason that you see women treating men like shit is because you are straight, and men aren’t treating YOU like shit in a romantic context. I, however, am a straight lady, and only ever have MEN treat me like shit in a romantic context. No woman has EVER treated me badly in a romantic context. This probably has something to do with the fact that I only ever pursue men…

The fact is, that there are many assholes of both genders out there. It’s why dating sucks for everyone, seriously, everyone. If you don’t believe me, go make a gay male friend, and ask him about his love life sometime. He will back me up 100%

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

that last one amuses me too (plus not fat and normal looking)… given his huge WOMEN ARE SO SUPERFICIAL rant…

what if this woman was everything you wanted (smart, funny, etc) but she was fat.. or she was thin and had small breasts (you do know what breasts are made of right? o_O )

But according to MRAL he’s SHORT and he’s deformed… and not normal looking…

but he wants a woman who is thin, has big breasts and is “normal looking” but unfortunately he can’t get ANY woman cuz women are superficial bitches xD

Victoria von Syrus
Victoria von Syrus
13 years ago

ideal woman:

– not fat
– normal-looking
– friendly
– likes video games
– fun to talk to
– big tits

I know quite a few women who meet every qualification on that list, and then some (they also have jobs and are self-sufficient, generous and creative). And they all have very different tastes in men.

One common thread, though, is that they’d prefer not to date men who have thinly disguised contempt for them.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@MRAL ok, show us a picture of what you consider the top and bottom of your not fat range? xD

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

MRAL, honestly, if you ever come to Toronto, give me a shout (or if I come to Boston again xD) I’ll take you out 😀 It might be easier for you, if you have somebody around, who fits in w/ the crowds you’re uncomfortable w/ and can help intro you to ppl and etc 😀 Plus I tend to have a good rapport w/ the types of ppl you seem afraid of :3

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

Big tits is the one “indulgence” on that list, I suppose. Everything else is just the bare minimum. I don’t expect to ever, even if I asked a billion females, to be able to have ANY success with a big boobed person. But big tits (within reason, like C) are awesome.

Spearhafoc
13 years ago

Also, answer the clothes question. I’m genuinely curious.

I have tips, if you’d like. I dress quite well, if I do say so myself.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

I don’t expect to ever, even if I asked a billion females, to be able to have ANY success with a big boobed person.

Why not? o_O

Victoria von Syrus
Victoria von Syrus
13 years ago

BTW, you realize that part of what makes up a woman’s breasts is fat? And that the more body fat a woman has, the bigger her breasts are going to be? You ever see a size 14 lady with A cups?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

@MRAL:

I have a rather.. interesting question that I hope you don’t mind answering. Could you provide a similar styled list for what the average woman looks for in a man? I’d like to see a comparison.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

ok, show us a picture of what you consider the top and bottom of your not fat range?

Kat Dennings is an actress who is not model skinny, but who I would also consider “not fat” and extremely hot.

sarahejones
13 years ago

Because big boobs make you an alpha, of course. Sigh.

My boobs, while not ginormous, are large on my frame (I’m a slight woman). And usually they only get me the sort of attention I’d prefer to avoid as I go about my daily business. Trust me, getting lucky with a big boobed lady isn’t hard. Just treat her like a human instead of a pair of tits and you’ll go far.

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

On the whole *not everyone is the same height/weight/body shape* thing – I was very excited the other day when I discovered that Jeanswest (dunno if they exist in the US?) has these new ‘curve embracing’ jeans where the thigh measurement is a size up from the waist measurement. I have a teeny waist and booty so these are jeans straight from heaven for me!

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@sarahejane that might be a problem for him since he seems to treat EVERYBODY as their superficial traits xD

Spearhafoc
13 years ago

Psst. How do you dress?

sarahejones
13 years ago

@Ami. True. I should quit trying, people continue to offer him help and none of it sinks in.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

@kirby, yeah sure.

WHAT A WOMAN LOOKS FOR (IMO)

– Over 6’0 (if you’re 5’11 or strong 5’10, you might be able to pass as 6′ if you work out)
– 6’2 preferred for bonus points (if you’re 6’1, again, you can pass)
– Cut physique (even with clothes, you can usually tell. At the very least you must look lean).
– Blue eyes (honestly I think this is thinly disguised racism)
– Brad Pitt-esque facial features. (Doesn’t have to be AT THIS LEVEL, obviously, but use him as a baseline. The closer you are, the better).
– Being loud and arrogant and obnoxious. (A lot of women seem to confuse loudness with intelligence or authority or confidence or whatever. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fucking idiot. Just shout when you talk, interrupt people, and put others down.)

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

“Trust me, getting lucky with a big boobed lady isn’t hard. Just treat her like a human instead of a pair of tits and you’ll go far.” Seconded.

Someone talking to my breasts? Not going to get treated respectfully.

Kate
Kate
13 years ago

Well, friendly, likes video games, and fun to talk to are a good start. And if you take them on their own are a good start to figuring out where to start with making femme friends. See if your campus has any video game nights (or organize some of your own). Make it a female friendly space and you’ve got the ball rolling! You can set up a corner for the guys (and gals) who want to go toe to toe in some FPS and have most of the other people to yourself with Mario Party wii or Rockband (or have you ever tried Super Smash Bros. where everyone plays as a giant princess Peach? It’s hilariously good times!)

Sure it’s something to think of for after the summer, but be that guy. The one with a plan, the one who is inclusive and willing to hang out with all kinds of people as long as they are respectful. And who knows, maybe a “beta” will come by and like your confidence? Or maybe you’ll realize that the ppl on this blog weren’t being all that extreme about their comments on your greek system not really applying in real life.

Take something you like and get out of the house with it. If you can’t afford video games, see about board games (there are ones you can just print off from the interwebs) or euchre tournaments or (nod to Ami) Magic the Gathering tourneys… it’s ok to make up a hobby if you don’t have one, and it’s ok to try and create a group of people to hang out with from strangers you see around you every day.

Just don’t be the kind of guy that girls write despairing songs about…

Spearhafoc
13 years ago

How with the dressing?

sarahejones
13 years ago

Being loud, obnoxious, and arrogant is a really terrible way to get into my pants.

Pecunium
13 years ago

And I don’t count (although perhaps T4T is right, and I’m being sexist by saying I have a sex life, and girlfriends all that jazz).

MRAL: I have never been cruelly rejected (well, that’s not true… I’ve never been cruelly rejected when approaching a woman. I’ve had two of them be cruel as all fuck when they broke up with me).

I’ve had more cases than not in which the women I approached, said yes. That’s not to say I didn’t have lot of women I was interested in who seemed to have no interest in me,and I therefore didn’t approach them. That’s happened a fair bit too.

I’ve had women approach me; not all of them women you would think of as omegas.

So, either I am an alpha (average height, slight of build, adequate money, but nothing to make me anyone’s idea of wealthy, eyes that don’t point in the same direction, and in need of huge glasses [both thick, because I’m blind as a bat, and large, because my eyes don’t point in the same direction]), or the system is bullshit.

I’m going with the system is bullshit.

theLaplaceDemon
theLaplaceDemon
13 years ago

“Trust me, getting lucky with a big boobed lady isn’t hard. Just treat her like a human instead of a pair of tits and you’ll go far.” Thirded.

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