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Happy Pride Day, non-existent gay men!

Well, you're no lady. But I guess you'll do.

Today, as many of you no doubt know, is Gay Pride Day. Here in Chicago, that means the annual Pride Parade, a celebration of all things LGBTQetc — and a nice aerobic workout for parade participants. (Gyrating on a float for three hours dressed in a leather harness and thong will burn roughly 1000 calories. But beware of chafing!)

Rookh Kshatriya, proprieter of the Anglobitch blog (devoted to the notion that women in the Anglosphere are, well, bitches), has evidently decided to celebrate Pride Weekend by offering us all his theories on gay male sexuality. Which is to say, his theory that there is no such thing as gay male sexuality, and that all those gay men out marching today would much rather be spending their Sunday eating bagels and doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with some comely (non-lesbian) lasses.

Yep, in Rookh’s World, gay men – or, as he puts it, β€œgay” men — are actually nothing more than exceptionally horny straight men who have been unfairly denied sex-on-demand with women of their choosing.

Let’s let him explain this:

Despite their rhetoric about lifestyles and the contemplation of flowers, gay men are clearly entranced by orgasm to an extent far surpassing that of heterosexual men.

Alas, in our Feminazified world, women sometimes refuse to have sex with men. Deprived a natural outlet for their sexy urges, horny dudes have to, well, improvise a bit. Why try to finagle your way into a vagina assiduously guarded by some dumb lady, when other dudes just as horny as you have holes of their own available for the asking?

As Rookh Β sees it, these uber-horny dudes really have no other choice.

[A]re most gay men just hyper-sexualized males – a self-selecting group whose priapic urges can only be satisfied by rejecting the relative sexual deprivation inescapably attendant on heterosexuality? The more one considers this possibility, the more plausible it seems. Even some badass with the looks of Apollo, the Game of Roissy and the confidence of a warlord would struggle to enter a nightclub and say: β€œI want sex NOW!” and expect to get it.

A terrible, terrible injustice. But there is a way out:

Yet homosexual men can enter any gay bath house in any Anglosphere city, say the very same words and expected to be sexually serviced by several men in a matter of minutes! In short, the sexual mismatch between the sexes makes the heterosexual lifestyle a poor option for any hyper-sexualized male – a non-option, in fact, if he wants to fully slake his sexual thirsts. By contrast, adopting homosexuality allows him to instantly indulge his every sexual whim in every manner conceivable.

Unless, of course, these whims involve sex with, you know, women. But lust is apparently stronger than mere sexual orientation. As Rookh sees it, homosexuality is the only rational choice for uber-horny men – even if they’d rather be boning women.

Since sex is so scarce and difficult to acquire in a heterosexual context, it simply makes no sense for an Anglo-American male with priapic urges to remain heterosexual – hence the self-selection of hyper-sexualized males towards homosexual lifestyles, not to mention the hyper-sexualized nature of homosexuality itself.

Is this all a prelude to a touching coming-out announcement by our man Rookh?

No such luck. It’s actually an excuse for, yes, more feminism-bashing. For it is the evil feminists who, in Rookh’s world, have beenΒ  encouraging the β€œfemale sexual ostracism” of poor suffering straight men:

As we all know, women seek to control men by limiting sexual supply, be it representational (pornography) or actual (prostitution) – and that feminism is, essentially, an institution created for that purpose.

And so, in Rookh’s world,

homosexuality has advanced in lock-step with feminism. … [F]eminism – by assailing marital monogamy and allowing women to indulge their primordial attraction to dangerous thugs, moronic bullies and swaggering plutocrats – produced an unwanted β€˜rump’ of educated, economically stable but sexually disenfranchised males. Given that gay males are disproportionately intelligent, solvent and educated, it is fairly obvious that members of this group have opted for homosexuality as a means of escaping the living death of involuntary celibacy, that the two phenomena are in fact closely related and that feminism is directly responsible for the advancement of homosexuality across the Anglosphere.

Feminism, by encouraging women to say β€œno” when they don’t actually want to have sex, may have created modern homosexuality, in Rookh’s view. But that doesn’t mean that feminists actually like gay dudes. No. Ick!

[T]he vast majority of Anglo females detest gay men as vehemently as they hate men in general.  … the real link between pan-Anglosphere feminism and homosexuality [is that] the latter is a reaction to the former, which hates it with boundless counter-reactionary zeal.

Yeah, seems to me that the only one here who really β€œdetest[s] gay men” is, well, Rookh, so much so that he’s decided to completely erase gay male sexuality – to put “gay” in scare quotes – in order to give himself another opportunity to run down feminists and women in general.

Now, human sexuality is a weird, messy, complicated, wonderful thing. It may well be that some bisexual men end up having sex with men more often than with women because they find it easier to find male sex partners for casual sex. But guys who are thoroughly gay – who would score a 6 on the famous Kinsey scale – don’t actually want to have sex with women. They really don’t. Drop a beautiful, eligible, horny (straight or mostly straight) woman in the midst of a bunch of Kinsey 6 guys, and this is what you get:

Court’s free!

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Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

Oh Kate – v true. I’m sick of the lengthy recommendations -srsly, don’t try to describe (particularly fantasy) novels to me. It always just sounds strange and nonsensical, and invariably only has a passing resemblance with the book as I understand it.

shaenon
13 years ago

Also, I am now planning to develop an elaborate theory based on the idea that having B-cup tits makes me an omega female and men are spitting on me all the time.

Mr. Kobold
Mr. Kobold
13 years ago

Ami,

Maybe just trying to build a repertoire with the guy by leaving contact info for your email or your blog if you can’t see him that much, but you need know that some emphasis is on his part to get at you.

Otherwise, Napolean once said: “A woman laughing is a woman conquered.” and I can’t see why it wouldn’t work on dudes.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@Kate that reminds me of when I used to buy tons of comics and read them on the subway and guys would always try to use that as an “in” to hit on me xD Except that they dun do it right xD I mean they SHOULD engage me in what’s going on in the comic, or something recent, not…. assume that I have no idea what’s going on and I bought them for my b/f and I’m curious… or to explain to me what’s going on as if I must not know xD Or.. even better “you know that’s not the original Robin!” xD I would rly be attracted to a guy who sat down and asked me my opinions and chatted w/ me about the nitpicks and problems w/ the storylines and stuff tho :3 (or things we like πŸ˜€ )

and I think I once scared off a guy on a blind date when we met and I was waiting him for a while so I brought out my copy of “Transforming a Rape Culture” and I think another book that was either about racism or feminism.. it’s not even that I agree w/ everything I read, this was just my “pick up everything in that section and read it” phase xD I do it w/ sports books too :3 tho I didn’t have a blind date while I was reading Moneyball xD

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

I really want to swing dance now…

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@Mr Kobold well that’s why I asked about the “does a guy like a girl if he goes clothes shopping w/ her even tho he’s rly dead tired from work and wants to sleep” thing? xD i think part of it is me xD (MRAL pay attn).. i get paranoid, like that he’s busy but he’ll forget all about me if I dun say nething xD and I know that’s on me… :]

M Dubz
M Dubz
13 years ago

Oh man, Lyn, are we secretly long lost manboobz soul sisters?

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

friended! xD

and yeah, I’m Ami Angewings EVERYWHERE! xD

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

I hope MRAL understands by all the varying and often quite differing advice that ppl are giving him that there’s NO ONE WAY to attract a woman and no ONE WOMAN to attract xD

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

Ami – I know the feeling. That 5’4″ guy I was talking about who never acted like he was at all interested in being anything but friends? He was an artist and, for my birthday, gave me a hand-made card with a portrait of me on the front. HOW WAS HE NOT INTERESTED?!!??!111! But he totally wasn’t, he was just a nice guy. I think. Probably. He certainly never made a move and I’m pretty sure I was flirting with him quite obviously. I asked him to my formal (prom-type thing) and everything.

But I have no tips on what conversation starter to use – I’m a pretty blunt person (I once came on to a guy by saying ‘You interested?’), so I’m not necessarily the best person to ask if you don’t want to put yourself out there too much.

Mr. Kobold
Mr. Kobold
13 years ago

“I hope MRAL understands by all the varying and often quite differing advice that ppl are giving him that there’s NO ONE WAY to attract a woman and no ONE WOMAN to attract xD”

He won’t, ever.

Bet placed.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

But to bring a little joy to your icy hearts my day was absolute shit. What was supposed to be an easy 7 hour day turned into 14 hours of not one damn thing working. Plus I got a 7 AM flight which means I gotta leave at 4 AM. The worst part is I can’t even blame you hypocritical, bigots for it. Or can I?

OMGOMGOMG you’re back! How’d you get banned from the Spearhead?

Feminism is the North.

Winter is coming, MRAL.

Pecunium
13 years ago

Clothes… man I am screwed when it comes to clothes.

I am of average height. I have a 27″ waist. I have a 36″ chest. I have a 15/32 neck/sleeve. I have small wrists.

I was getting an outfit (Renaissance Court dress) made and my tailor, after the final fitting to the pattern pieces, added an inch to the doublet, and about the same to the wrists on the shirt, because she couldn’t believe they actual size.

Men’s pants stop at 18… when you can find them, and the rise (crotch to waist) is shorter in boys. I need a 27-31/32 (waist to inseam) but mostly what I can find are 29s. Even if I didn’t always have a toolset, or a knife, on my belt, I always need to wear one.

Utilikilt doesn’t love me either. The smallest off the rack they make is a 29, and that falls straight off my ass.

ithiliana
13 years ago

Kate: I’m going to get an e-reading sometime in tne next year or so, learnng toward the Nook now, but need to do more research/talk to people. It’s for traveling (I read fast, and it’s a freaking pain to try to pack enough books for trips, and my checked luggage is always searched). I’m getting older, so it’s hard to haul them all along. Plus, all sorts of free and cheap stuff, YUMMY.

How do you like your Sony? Can you download stuff from the internet (that’s one thing that attracted me to e-reader, being able to download all the favorite fan fiction from archives)?

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

I think we might be M Dulz! Also – that guy who I’ve been talking about who I never actually went out with – he totally did swing dancing. *Sigh wistfully*. This meant that I got to swing dance at my formal. w00t! I’m not very good at it though – I used to do Latin ballroom so translating that skill set to swing sometimes works but sometimes doesn’t.

Pecunium
13 years ago

Crap… I forgot to say that shirts are worse. They assume anyone with my sleeve/neck measurement is at least a 38 in the chest, and about a 34 at the waist. Even a “european” cut makes me look as if I’m wearing a sack. Brooks Brothers makes me look as if I decided to don a tent.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@Lyn I think the problem is it’s on txt xD I feel like I’d be so annoying if I keep txting him xD I’m pretty bold lately IRL… :3

The problem is I’ve never seen him interact w/ another girl xD I THINK he’s flirting w/ me but I can’t tell xD

we were the only 2 ppl in the room on the last session in the morning and he started to ask me how my weekend was, and we started to talk and joke and stuff, but then his friend came in and sat between us and he asked his friend “do you have to sit there?” not in like a mean way but asking him to sit on the other side, but he didn’t.. and then his friend started to talk to him and that was it :

so i dunno… I FEEL like that maybe this is that he likes me (this was after the previous training day when he had the shopping day and spent lunch and after training together) but I also might be terrible at reading him xD

I’m still relatively new at this… (and I have trust issues that I hope I’m getting past : ) xD

ithiliana
13 years ago

Second deal breaker: cats. I have been known to advise friends (male and female) who are given ultimatums by partners, girl/boyfriends, spouses etc. about getting rid of the cat to get rid of the significant other. And I am srs.

I hated being given dolls when i was a kid, and loved stuffed animals (I still have a big stuffed tiger I got when was three or four, and he’s in my office at school). At night, I’d tuck in all the stuffed animals, and the family cats and dogs would climb into bed, and I’d be on the edge reading an Oz book, perfectly happy.

So cats.

Kate
Kate
13 years ago

OMG Lyn tell me about it… I had a friend try (uninvited) to quote something he had heard on a LotR (the movie) special feature at me and he got ranted at for far too long because he was SO BEYOND WRONG*… from the actual cannon (the book!).

He then told people that I was “too hardcore” about my reading and that I should learn to “tone it down” and “accept other views”.

I’ve since begun answering “what are you reading?” with either the genre (in general) or “a book” (with a glare)

*”elves don’t understand death since they’re immortal”. Said of Legolas, prince of the Mirkwood elves… the forest full of giant man-eating spiders, among other things….

amandajane5
13 years ago

Ha! When we first moved in together one of the hubs’ dude friends came over and was all, dude! You have great comics! And he just pointed at me and said, nope, they’re hers…though I plan to read them! πŸ˜‰

ithiliana
13 years ago

Shaenon: trufact! When I lost weight, I went from a C cup to a B cup!

M Dubz
M Dubz
13 years ago

@Lyn,

Oh, you’re one of THOSE (I kid! I kid!) I can always tell the latin dancers on the swing floor. You do this weird thing with your hips…

Where(ish) do you live, if you don’t mind my asking? Lots of places have cheap communal dances and lessons.

Lyn
Lyn
13 years ago

Yeah, Ami, my dating history is mostly comprised of friends who became lovers through a tortuously slow revelation that we were mutually attracted. Trust issues. Bleurg. If I could make them (mine and yours!) manifest physically I would stab them in a vigorous and vicious manner. πŸ˜‰

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@ithiliana I wish I could get myself to just eat : and not exercise so compulsively, or starve myself so many days πŸ™

and it makes me feel so conflicted πŸ™ there’s the ED body dysphoria.. but then there’s the GID body dysphoria.. where I feel like my face getting gaunt is making me look more “male” : cuz I used to have cute cheeks (I think, I can’t judge nething nemore πŸ™ ) and also the whole breasts made of fat thing πŸ™

ithiliana
13 years ago

Kate: OMG, what did he say (LOTR film)?????

Did you hear about the “The Elf dies, get over it” prank an old time fan played in the fandom–just before the third movie came out? She made an icon with that statement, used it in a commuity, was ranted at for spoiling, and then revealed the fact that it was a lie and got ranted at some more–I am ashamed to say I laughed.

When i was in college, this guy who managed the boarding house a bunch of us lived in used to drop in to talk about sf — regularly. I was happy to find a fellow fan and babbled on happily. I didn’t notice it was usually later in evening. Some time later, when he was engaged to a friend of mine, he told me seriously that he would have made a pass or something but that I turned him off by OMG Knowing More about SF than he did. This was apparently Helpful advice to Improve My Changes of catching a man in future.

Since at the time I had a mad passionate crush on a fellow female TA, I laughed and laughed and laughed.

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