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Happy Pride Day, non-existent gay men!

Well, you're no lady. But I guess you'll do.

Today, as many of you no doubt know, is Gay Pride Day. Here in Chicago, that means the annual Pride Parade, a celebration of all things LGBTQetc — and a nice aerobic workout for parade participants. (Gyrating on a float for three hours dressed in a leather harness and thong will burn roughly 1000 calories. But beware of chafing!)

Rookh Kshatriya, proprieter of the Anglobitch blog (devoted to the notion that women in the Anglosphere are, well, bitches), has evidently decided to celebrate Pride Weekend by offering us all his theories on gay male sexuality. Which is to say, his theory that there is no such thing as gay male sexuality, and that all those gay men out marching today would much rather be spending their Sunday eating bagels and doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with some comely (non-lesbian) lasses.

Yep, in Rookh’s World, gay men – or, as he puts it, “gay” men — are actually nothing more than exceptionally horny straight men who have been unfairly denied sex-on-demand with women of their choosing.

Let’s let him explain this:

Despite their rhetoric about lifestyles and the contemplation of flowers, gay men are clearly entranced by orgasm to an extent far surpassing that of heterosexual men.

Alas, in our Feminazified world, women sometimes refuse to have sex with men. Deprived a natural outlet for their sexy urges, horny dudes have to, well, improvise a bit. Why try to finagle your way into a vagina assiduously guarded by some dumb lady, when other dudes just as horny as you have holes of their own available for the asking?

As Rookh  sees it, these uber-horny dudes really have no other choice.

[A]re most gay men just hyper-sexualized males – a self-selecting group whose priapic urges can only be satisfied by rejecting the relative sexual deprivation inescapably attendant on heterosexuality? The more one considers this possibility, the more plausible it seems. Even some badass with the looks of Apollo, the Game of Roissy and the confidence of a warlord would struggle to enter a nightclub and say: “I want sex NOW!” and expect to get it.

A terrible, terrible injustice. But there is a way out:

Yet homosexual men can enter any gay bath house in any Anglosphere city, say the very same words and expected to be sexually serviced by several men in a matter of minutes! In short, the sexual mismatch between the sexes makes the heterosexual lifestyle a poor option for any hyper-sexualized male – a non-option, in fact, if he wants to fully slake his sexual thirsts. By contrast, adopting homosexuality allows him to instantly indulge his every sexual whim in every manner conceivable.

Unless, of course, these whims involve sex with, you know, women. But lust is apparently stronger than mere sexual orientation. As Rookh sees it, homosexuality is the only rational choice for uber-horny men – even if they’d rather be boning women.

Since sex is so scarce and difficult to acquire in a heterosexual context, it simply makes no sense for an Anglo-American male with priapic urges to remain heterosexual – hence the self-selection of hyper-sexualized males towards homosexual lifestyles, not to mention the hyper-sexualized nature of homosexuality itself.

Is this all a prelude to a touching coming-out announcement by our man Rookh?

No such luck. It’s actually an excuse for, yes, more feminism-bashing. For it is the evil feminists who, in Rookh’s world, have been  encouraging the “female sexual ostracism” of poor suffering straight men:

As we all know, women seek to control men by limiting sexual supply, be it representational (pornography) or actual (prostitution) – and that feminism is, essentially, an institution created for that purpose.

And so, in Rookh’s world,

homosexuality has advanced in lock-step with feminism. … [F]eminism – by assailing marital monogamy and allowing women to indulge their primordial attraction to dangerous thugs, moronic bullies and swaggering plutocrats – produced an unwanted ‘rump’ of educated, economically stable but sexually disenfranchised males. Given that gay males are disproportionately intelligent, solvent and educated, it is fairly obvious that members of this group have opted for homosexuality as a means of escaping the living death of involuntary celibacy, that the two phenomena are in fact closely related and that feminism is directly responsible for the advancement of homosexuality across the Anglosphere.

Feminism, by encouraging women to say “no” when they don’t actually want to have sex, may have created modern homosexuality, in Rookh’s view. But that doesn’t mean that feminists actually like gay dudes. No. Ick!

[T]he vast majority of Anglo females detest gay men as vehemently as they hate men in general.  … the real link between pan-Anglosphere feminism and homosexuality [is that] the latter is a reaction to the former, which hates it with boundless counter-reactionary zeal.

Yeah, seems to me that the only one here who really “detest[s] gay men” is, well, Rookh, so much so that he’s decided to completely erase gay male sexuality – to put “gay” in scare quotes – in order to give himself another opportunity to run down feminists and women in general.

Now, human sexuality is a weird, messy, complicated, wonderful thing. It may well be that some bisexual men end up having sex with men more often than with women because they find it easier to find male sex partners for casual sex. But guys who are thoroughly gay – who would score a 6 on the famous Kinsey scale – don’t actually want to have sex with women. They really don’t. Drop a beautiful, eligible, horny (straight or mostly straight) woman in the midst of a bunch of Kinsey 6 guys, and this is what you get:

Court’s free!

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Laura Magic
10 years ago

Why are there lesbians if women hate sex so much? Are they just horny women? If women can be horny, why do they apparently hate porn/prostitution/sex/masturbation/whatever it is this week?

“Anglo females detest gay men as vehemently as they hate men in general.”

O rly? I thought women loved gay men because we are all ‘fag hags’ once we are too old to be hot etc. etc. Why do women hate gay men, they’re not trying to have the hateful sex with them, after all.

“Yet homosexual men can enter any gay bath house in any Anglosphere city, say the very same words and expected to be sexually serviced by several men in a matter of minutes!”

How the fuck would this guy know? Is he an ‘ex gay’? I guess that would explain a lot.

speedlines
speedlines
10 years ago

Wait, women despise gay men? Then who the hell is writing all the Supernatural fanfic? Right, it must be gay men pretending to be women, except there’s no such thing as gay men, just really horny men, so…

…oh my god. Aliens.

darksidecat
darksidecat
10 years ago

Is this guy living in the 70s and/or stereotype-ville. Gay bath houses? In the US? Post-AIDS? That’s a rare sight. Also, not all gay men just go around randomly humping each other. Some are at home, eating bagels and doing the crossword, with their boyfriend or husband. But even if you are only talking aobut more sexed up scene queers, they put in way more work than would be required to get laid by a woman. Not to mention all the things like employment and housing discrimination, anti-queer harassment, getting kicked out of your house as a kid, and all of the other shit that can go down. But I am sure my friend who had his nose broken by his mother at fifteen and lived in a bus station for a month didn’t come out because he actually liked guys, but because it was easier than fucking women. Yeah, that makes sense. Also, this: “gay males are disproportionately intelligent, solvent and educated” is not true. That is a stereotype. Poor queer people outnumber their wealthy peers and homeless youth are queer are incredibly high rates (for the obvious reason that queer kids often loose their homes). Queer boys drop out of high school at higher than average rates (bi kids actually appear to have higher drop out and poverty rates rather than lower ones as compared to gay peers).

Johnny Pez
10 years ago

Gyrating on a float for three hours dressed in a leather harness and thong will burn roughly 1000 calories. But beware of chafing!

You can also achieve the same results by battling a horde of green Martians in a leather harness and thong. This is known as the John Carter of Mars Workout Program.

KristinMH
10 years ago

David, it’s perfectly obvious that straight women hate gay men. Straight women avoid gay men like the plague, never befriend them or spend time with them, and react with violence and rage whenever a man they know comes out as gay. If I’ve seen it once I’ve seen it a million times!

I mean, everybody knows THAT. Right? Right?

ozymandias42
10 years ago

I would just like to point out that if there was a “straight bathhouse”– i.e. a place where I could go in and obtain casual sex, without fear of getting raped and with people who have tested clean for STDs– I would basically be a customer there ALL THE TIME.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@Ozymandias42

Straight bathhouses… Dude… I would be there. I would totally be there.

Honestly this guy has taken the notion that Gay men have tons more sex than straight men, and taken it to epic proportions of inanity. When in fact, they actually don’t (at least according to okTrends). So.. yeah… pretty basic “take a jumped conclusion and run with it like all hell.”

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
10 years ago

VERY interesting analysis. I’m not sure it stands up totally… as Futrelle has stated, men who are “fully gay” for lack of a better word, simply aren’t attracted to women. I can’t know this for sure, but based on the two or three gay men I’ve known, anecdotally it seems pretty safe to say.

However, this is an extremely thought-provoking point when it comes to bisexual men, those who are clearly attracted to both sexes. In such a case, it would seem only logical to spend more time pursuing male lovers. Not only is it a thousand times easier, but you’ll usually be treated like a human being in the process, even if you fail. In the heterosexual world, women (both alpha and beta) essentially look at men below alpha level as shit on their shoe. Unless you’re in a position of authority over them (boss, etc.) a man of Beta or Omega status can expect to be treated like second-class… hell, even if you aren’t even “pursuing” her. It becomes straight-up rudeness. Who needs that? Bisexual men are quite lucky. If I was one of them I’d only associate with nice women. If a woman is a bitch? Not talking to her. And more importantly, I wouldn’t feel a need to make an effort in the first place, as I do now.

Graham
10 years ago

“The more one considers this possibility, the more plausible it seems.”

Rofflecopters.

ozymandias42
10 years ago

There have also been lesbian bathhouses in San Francisco… really not accounted for in this dude’s theory.

Simone Lovelace
10 years ago

Bisexual men are quite lucky. If I was one of them I’d only associate with nice women. If a woman is a bitch? Not talking to her.

You know you can do that now, right?

Although if you take out all the vicious, misogynist haterade, you kind of have a point. Being bisexual is totally awesome.

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
10 years ago

MRAL, what sort of reaction does your hideous, Frankensteinian visage have upon “omega” women? Have you ever tried shambling up to one and asking her on a date?

Mr. Kobold
Mr. Kobold
10 years ago

MRAL self-pitying and intellectually shallow analysis is some of the best fun the internet can give you on a Sunday morning.

ithiliana
10 years ago

Just like the rest of the internetz: us bisexual female english majors are totes invisibilized.

Woes.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
10 years ago

I should tell my sister this little theory and she can immediately stop being bestest friends with her bestest friends…cuz they are gay and apparently she hates them despite spending hours in the hospital when one of them had some kind of liver problem that nearly killed him and her helping paying for it despite not having a lot of money of her own.

Also, I have had some gay friends and I am pretty sure they like the boys more then the girls since if they wanted a woman, they could get one quite easily.

But hey, what do I know? I just have a hamster spinning up here. So I am off to Disneyland instead.

Simone Lovelace
10 years ago

ithiliana, I’m a math major, but lets totally get internet drinks/cupcakes together with all the other bisexual, bicurious, and pansexual ladies of manbooz! XD

ithiliana
10 years ago

Simone Lovelace: I’m in LURVE with your name (I found out about Ada Lovelace by reading about Byron as an English major), and I ADORE internet cupcakes! So LET’s!

Ami–just wanted to let you know people on my DW circle love your cards:

http://ithiliana.dreamwidth.org/1562878.html

ithiliana
10 years ago

Plus, you know what else just hit me–in the wake of same sex marriage becoming legal in NYC–odd to think that gay men (and lesbians and many other people with alternative sexualities) have been working their butts off to get the right to have their commitments legally recognized if they’re just in it for the anonymous sex.

Odd, no?

Ami Angelwings
10 years ago

Apparently the entire district and all the clubs I was in and around last night and most of the ppl there DON’T EXIST xD Somebody should let them know before it’s too late xD (and tell the guys there that they should just give up the pretense and come clean xD )

I’ve actually been on a pride float! 😀 (i was in 3 prides that year xD but only 1 float) but I wasn’t in leather nething… I was in angelwings! (what else? :3 ) it was fun as heck! but I got soaked w/ watered a lot xD and everybody wanted to take pix w/ me after xD

Mind you… *I* don’t exist either… tho I suspect I know what his explanation for me would be xD

also I find it cute that MRAL feels he needs to explain the heterosexual world to us xD

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
10 years ago

Ithiliana, that would require MRAs to be in possession of the very same logic they keep claiming men are the sole possessors of!
Few things put a damper on one’s ability to use logic like the sort of visceral hatred that MRAs wallow in.

Ami Angelwings
10 years ago

@Ithiliana awww! ty! 😀 I recognize some of the ppl there too! Now I’m blushing :]

Ami Angelwings
10 years ago

Oh I added you on DW! :3

ozymandias42
10 years ago

For that matter, I have a gay male friend who can’t get laid and has several female friends, including me, who would fuck him in a heartbeat if he were straight. SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS THEORY.

Bee
Bee
10 years ago

Of course, there are people who spend a lifetime studying and researching and analyzing human sexuality, but … what the hell. By all means, let’s all listen to some dude who spent one afternoon pondering the subject by himself and came to his own weird conclusions. He’s probably right.

ithiliana
10 years ago

Ami: COOL! You’re on DW too?!?!? (I added your blog to my feed list over there a while ago).

ithiliana
10 years ago

Ami: didn’t see any notification of you adding me?

Also–STATISTICS!

This link might better go in the career woman one, but that doesn’t seem too active, so am dumping it here–source for material on working conditions all over the world, men and women too!

http://raisingtheglobalfloor.org/index.php

With the support of the Ford Foundation and the Canada Foundation for Innovation, Raising the Global Floor has been developed to measure governmental performance around the world in meeting the needs of working men, women, and their families.

RenKiss
RenKiss
10 years ago

The vast majority of straight women detest gay men? Why don’t Rookh explain why women are always trying to seek a “gay best friend” or explain why there’s a subculture of straight women reading and writing slash/yaoi/boy’s love?

It seems many folks in the manoshpere can’t grasp the fact that sexuality can be very fluid. Just as these folks claim the reason why women don’t want to have sex with them is because we just want “alpha males,” totally ignoring the fact that there are women who prefer to have sex with women, or sometimes both men and women. 😛

Spearhafoc
10 years ago

Have you ever tried shambling up to one and asking her on a date?

In MRAL’s classifications, fat chicks are the only Omega women. If a fat chick worked hard enough, she could become thin – thus, a Beta or even an Alpha.

Omega women deserve scorn because they made a choice to be Omegas, unlike poor little him.

It’s stupid beyond belief, but it is internally consistent.

white knight
white knight
10 years ago

Just like the rest of the internetz: us bisexual female english majors are totes invisibilized.

I haven’t been to fandomwank in 4 years but I will never forget that.

marc2020
marc2020
10 years ago

A couple of thorghts

He does know homosexuality predates feminism by at least oh 2000 years and was more accepted buy society?

Also loving the misandry on this as well what he’s basically saying is that men are so hideous that no one would ever willingly sleep with another man unless they were forced to because eww boy parts.

Papr1ka
Papr1ka
10 years ago

If all gay men are faking it, then how come when a woman asks out a man whom she does not know is “gay”, he turns her down, and there often results an embarrassing, awkward moment for both of them?

shaenon
10 years ago

Omigosh, I had a Manboobz dream last night! One of the MRA regulars was insisting that he had proof that women are violent and evil by nature, which turned out to be a guy’s online “study” based on talking to six art school fashion majors.

…I, um, teach at an art school. (Fashion majors are mostly very nice, though! I’m sorry, fashion majors!)

shaenon
10 years ago

In other news, I fully support both MRAL and the guy in the original post in their efforts to go gay, and can only hope they don’t become venomous man-haters the moment a hot guy cruelly and unfairly turns them down for sex. Because what’s left after that?

More fascinating revelations about the MRA concept of history: apparently, before the feminist movement, men were able to walk down the street and demand sex with any random woman. None of this stuff you hear about women in the past having to save themselves for marriage: if a man was feeling horny, all women in the vicinity were required to leap to his aid. But no fatties.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
10 years ago

Spearhafoc has it. I’m not attracted to fat women, and I do feel I can say that because I myself am in quite good shape.

Betas (ie, moderately attractive to average-looking women) spit even on fellow Beta men, and it’s frankly sickening.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
10 years ago

You know you can do that now, right?

Not really, since I’m straight. Most women look at non-alphas of their age like shit on their shoe, like second-class human beings. I have to put myself out there in order to find someone worth it, and I’ll have to deal with a shitload of bitches beforehand.

I honestly do wish I was a homosexual, or bisexual, but I’m not.

Johnny Pez
10 years ago

Because what’s left after that?

Starfish aliens!

RenKiss
RenKiss
10 years ago

If all gay men are faking it, then how come when a woman asks out a man whom she does not know is “gay”, he turns her down, and there often results an embarrassing, awkward moment for both of them?

Now, now Papr1ka in the bizzaro universe of the manosphere, women don’t ask men out period.

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
10 years ago

MRAL, being the hideous freak of nature that you are (sorry, I can’t know this is any way beyond what you keep telling us when you make every topic all about you), you do realize that if you were gay, being such a deformed monstrosity you’d probably have the same luck with men that you have with women?

Simone Lovelace
10 years ago

MRAL, what the f*ck are you talking about?

No power in the ‘verse can prevent you from encountering unpleasant people, male or female. But once you ascertain that someone is, by your standards, unpleasant, you absolutely have the ability to stop interacting with them.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
10 years ago

you do realize that if you were gay, being such a deformed monstrosity you’d probably have the same luck with men that you have with women?

I don’t think so. Sure rejection would exist, I am sure, but men don’t have a hugely inflated view of themselves, in which they reject all but 10/10 suitors and metaphorically spit on the rest. Furthermore, when men turn people down (men or women) they aren’t cruel; they don’t treat the rejected person like shit, a non-human entity worthy of nothing but scorn.

Finally, Simone, the problem is that 9/10 women treat omega and beta men like SHIT, and so I have to get treated that way many times over if I am to be successful with a nice woman.

Marc
Marc
10 years ago

“Why are there lesbians if women hate sex so much? Are they just horny women?”

Who knows what they do in their bedrooms?

“Why do women hate gay men, they’re not trying to have the hateful sex with them, after all.”

Then you think rape is about sex and not about power after all?

Why do they hate them? Difficult question. Maybe we should ask Ruby Thomas, she beat one to death?

Holly Pervocracy
10 years ago

but men don’t have a hugely inflated view of themselves, in which they reject all but 10/10 suitors and metaphorically spit on the rest. Furthermore, when men turn people down (men or women) they aren’t cruel; they don’t treat the rejected person like shit, a non-human entity worthy of nothing but scorn.

I’m 5’1″ and have been over 200 pounds. Trust me…

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@MRAL:

You should read FML sometime. Its full of quite horrible breakups that men initiate. I dunno why I have to be proving to you that men can be just as terrible as women, though…

Bee
Bee
10 years ago

There are too many active threads right now. I’m just one woman! For the loofah god, how am I supposed to keep up?

So, yeah, Mr. Al. I’m emailing your little quote there to all my gay male friends. They could use a good laugh.

And of course, ain’t nothing traumatizing about growing up gay in the US of A! You seem to be traumatized enough by life as it is. Throw anti-gay bullying in the mix, and I don’t even wanna know what the result would be.

You seem to have this strange idea that every other person on the planet has it easier than you, Mr. Al. It’s just not true. Gay alpha men would spit on you, and you’d find it just as unpleasant.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
10 years ago

I flatly do not believe men are as mean as women. I don’t believe it. I simply don’t believe it. I see truckloads of evidence every fucking day.

Graham
10 years ago

MRAL, I hope you save all the comments you write on this blog so you can read them ten years from now and appreciate what a prick you used to be.

Simone Lovelace
10 years ago

Furthermore, when men turn people down (men or women) they aren’t cruel; they don’t treat the rejected person like shit…

Lulz.

Who knows what [queer girls] do in their bedrooms?

Um…that would be queer girls. -_-

And the answer is: we fuck.

And also, you know, sleep, cuddle, converse, watch movies, all that happy stuff…

ozymandias42
10 years ago

MRAL: There are bastards of every race, color, creed and gender. Bastardy is universal. 🙂

Simone Lovelace
10 years ago

Anyway, MRAL, you’re moving the goalposts here. Everyone interacts with their fair share of jerks in the dating game, but you have the power to only associate with “nice women,” by dropping a woman from your social circle the minute she shows signs of being anything other than “nice.”

schism
schism
10 years ago

No power in the ‘verse can prevent you from encountering unpleasant people, male or female. But once you ascertain that someone is, by your standards, unpleasant, you absolutely have the ability to stop interacting with them.

I think he means that people become unpleasant whenever he shows up…which probably says more about his personality than the horrible cockstomping bitchiness of women, but I doubt that will register with him.

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