Quiz: Which of the following is an example of female infidelity? (Check all that apply.)
a) A man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship; neither one sleeps with anyone else.
b) A man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship; the man sleeps with someone else.
c) A man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship; the woman sleeps with someone else.
d) A woman, who may or may not be in a monogamous relationship, works hard at a job she enjoys.
ANSWER: If you answered c, congratulations! You are correct. If you also answered d, you are probably PUA guru and freelance internet asshole “Roissy” or one of his douchey fans. In a recent post Roissy argues, quite sincerely, that women who take their careers seriously are committing a sort of psycho-social-sexual crime against men.
In the post, Roissy quotes a reader of his who’d suggested that “female career obsession [is] a form of infidelity to the family and marrage.” Roissy seconds this opinion and goes on to argue that:
Women who place their careers front and center are committing a kind of betrayal of their sex’s biological and psychological imperatives. It’s like a big middle finger to everything that distinguishes the feminine from the masculine, the yin from the yang.
Is it possible that these women are just, you know, really into their careers? That they’re good at what they do and enjoy doing it? That they want to make a difference in the world? That they might have a family to support? Or that, you know, they simply like making a lot of money?
Of course not. For Roissy, careers are little more than psychological crutches for women who are 1) trying to distract themselves from loneliness and/or sexual boredom:
It’s quite possible that the worst offenders — the 14 hour day lawyercunts and the graduate school hermits — embrace the male-oriented rat race and achievement spectacle because it offers a welcome distraction from either spinsterly loneliness or boring beta male partners who, while intellectually are rationalized as good matches, do not viscerally excite them.
Or, 2) imagining themselves as the heroines in some glamorous romance novel:
Maybe, too, these careerist chicks see their jobs as a way to enter the world of the alpha male, to have a taste of what it would be like to be part of his life. The office cubes and doormen and glassy skyscrapers have given legions of plain janes the daily stimulation to mentally masturbate fantasy romances with the alpha males who run their companies or the alpha salesmen who greet them at the front desk with a twinkle in their eyes.
Or, 3) trying to magically ward off the case of the uglies that apparently infects each and every woman when she hits the age of 40:
When a woman’s SMV [Sexual Market Value] inevitably craters in her 40s, her career might be all she has to lift her spirits, especially if she has no husband she loves, no kids, or even just one kid who spends most of his time playing CoD or robbing convenience stores.
Of course, in Roissy’s mind, these women aren’t quite women to begin with, even before they get hit with the 40th birthday ugly stick:
[T]here is something “off” about women who are excessively devoted to their careers and to obtaining an acronymic parade of pointless credentials. Careerist shrikes are some of the most unpleasant, unfeminine women to be around. They must have more androgen receptors than normal women to be so grating to the male sensibility. Sure, they can fuck like Viagra-laced male pornstars, but as soon as you relieve yourself in them you will feel a second powerful urge to escape their aggro nastiness.
Yeah, somehow I’m guessing that urge to flee is pretty strong in these women as well, as soon as they realize that they guy they’ve just had sex with is a pretentious narcissistic windbag who hates women.
Roissy continues, revealing far more about his own sexual insecurities than about any actual career women:
The women for whom career success is their comfort and their purpose are some sort of weird, monstrous amalgam of man and woman, halfway between both worlds, their sexual polarity askew. These types tend to attract either intense short term flings with alphas or plodding marriages with dweeby, effete kitchen bitches.
Roissy is vaguely aware that feminists – not to mention pretty much anyone who isn’t a complete douchebag misogynist – might have a few issues with his theories here.
The dumbfuck feminists will naturally ask, “Why doesn’t this same theory apply to men? Aren’t they escaping sad love lives by retreating to their careers?”
Don’t you know it’s different for guys? Unlike women, men are evolutionarily programmed to be resource providers for women. It is not a betrayal of a man’s innate purpose in life to ambitiously pursue achievement and accolades. In fact, just the opposite; it’s an affirmation of that ancient purpose.
Remember this, you ungrateful career ladies: WE HUNTED THE MAMMOTH TO FEED YOU!
“Mnaging a house”, wtf? That’s code for “doing jack”. Takes two hours a day AT MOST.
Hmm, well, I was thinking of my mom here. She raised two girls, which was an all-day chore, at least until we started to go to school. She planned and cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her husband and daughters. Before we started attending school, she drove us to playdates and nursery school. Afterwards, she walked or drove us to school and picked us up in the afternoon. She laundered clothes for four. Kept the house spotless. Gardened. Planned dinner parties for my dad’s work buddies. Took care of my dad’s mom when she needed help. She did grocery shopping, ran errands for the family — kept us in socks and underwear and tennis balls — stayed on a budget by clipping coupons, looking for bargains, and repairing things whenever she could. She was the default pet tender. She painted the walls when they got dingy, recovered chairs that had been spilled on, participated in class events and after-school activities like Girl Scouts, when necessary cared for sick kids and a sick husband and sick elderly neighbors. There’s gotta be a million other things. She literally does not stop moving. She still does these things, and has picked up a few volunteer activities, although I guess she’s “retired” now.
My brother in law also stays at home, and — it’s true, he doesn’t do a whole lot around the house, although he does have several (non-money-making) enterprises that keep him busy. But in his case, you’d have a little more of a point.
I guess it’s all what you put into it. I spend probably two hours a day washing dishes, vacuuming, taking care of the dogs, washing clothes and bedding, pulling weeds, grocery shopping, paying bills, wiping down surfaces, etc. But then, I go to school full-time, have a buncha volunteer activities so that someday hopefully I am hireable, so it’s definitely not like that’s where all my time is going. But if I had kids and cared more about how my house looked, it definitely could turn into an all-day thing.
MRAL, you truly are intellectually lazy as fuck.
Let’s compare, shall we?
If feminism is necessary because “women are lazy”, then was the civil rights movement necessary because, well, you are aware of a particularly vicious stereotype about African Americans, aren’t you?
Because African Americans are no more lazy than their white counterparts, and are just as capable given the same educational and career opportunities, was there no need for the civil rights movement?
Hugo Schwyzer is a fucking dickfuck.
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2011/06/23/why-must-models-be-so-tall/
Strangely enough, this is the exact spiel the xian fundy patriarchal set use. Apparently, useless ladybrains will totes confuse husbands and bosses. That and it’s a offense to god and the bible that a woman spends less than 100% of her time and effort on something other than husband, home or children – it makes jesus cry.
Hugo Schwyzer is a fucking dickfuck.
And now MRAL is hoping that we’ll all forget that he just made a very misogynist statement and start talking about Hugo instead of continuing to call him on it.
Gringo MRAL: Could you list specific examples of actual “housework” you have done?
For example:
FOOD:
Planning meals
Going to store(s) to buy stuff for meals
Unloading all the stuff for meals
Preparing meals
Serving meals
Cleaning up after meals
CLEANING
Going to store(s) to buy stuff for cleaning
Dusting furniture
Sweeping or vacuuming floors
Cleaning (with incredibly heavy machine) carpets
Cleaning baseboards
Cleaning cupboards
Cleaning oven
Washing dishes from meals (see above)
Putting away clean dishes
Changing beds
Vacuuming furniture
Scrubbing toilets and bathtubs and sinks
Doing laundry (clothes, bedding, etc.)
Drying laundry (dryer? clothesline?)
Folding clean laundry and putting away
Handling dry cleaning
(I won’t mention ironing because I gave it up myself years ago, on the argument that wrinkles are chic! But many people DO)
Those are just some of the basics, mostly routine stuff.
My mother is 83 and still chops wood for her wood burning stove (cheaper than electricity), plus during the years when she worked at home, she managed two rental units, did home cooking for her family, sewed clothing for us, did all the book keeping and banking and income tax preparation, and help organized charities (back in the day). We also had horses, sheep, cats, dogs, and chickens to oversee, and then there’s yard work (yeah, yeah, I know teh MAN does that, except not always). She insisted my brother and I both learn all the basics so we could take care of ourselves–he cooks and washes dishes and does laundry, and I (before health problems got back) mowed the lawn and (when I was staying with her), chopped wood.
So how much housework have you done, gringo?
Bee: Ditto about my mother — though I had a brother! Back in rural Idaho in the 50s/60s, there were women who worked outside the house as well as inside (mostly those married to men who earned incredibly low salaries; professional men could ‘support’ a wife who worked only at home), but the saying applied to all the wives and mothers in the neighborhood we lived in: “men may work from sun to sun, but women’s work is never done.” I looked around with my beady little eyes and saw what wives DID, and said, damn, I’m never getting married–that was about seven years before I saw the live childbirth PE movie and went HOLY FUCK, I’m never doing THAT either. And I have several male cousins who are the person who works in the home–and I know they spend more than two hours a day taking care of their families–because their wives enjoy the higher paying jobs that they have–so I know it does not have to be gender specific (but oh did the older women in the family freak out). But having a stay at home partner doing all the work of maintaining the house and family can save lots of money–my partner and I both work, and darn straight, the housework suffers (for us, it’s always time versus money). At times the cathair buildup gets downright frightening!
@MRAL:
Hmmm…. personally, I’d prefer to stay at home and sit on my ass while my wife goes out and provides for me. So I can’t say I agree with this guy. It’s indicative of women’s pampering and privilege that so many sit on their ass, but for those that want to go out and work, that’s pretty admirable.
It’s statements like this that cause me to stop and remind myself how incredibly young, immature, and callow you are. Otherwise, I might just think that you’re being a dick.
Since you obviously have no fucking idea how much work goes into managing a household, take it from a guy who’s been a stay at home dad and kindly shut the fuck up.
Alternately, you could e-mail this remark to your mom and see if she agrees.
And, by “this remark,” I mean yours. Your mom doesn’t need to read the product of my potty-mouth.
Hmmm…. personally, I’d prefer to stay at home and sit on my ass while my wife goes out and provides for me. So I can’t say I agree with this guy.
doesn’t this make you the lazy one? o_O
Esp since you believe at most you’d expect to do 2 hours of housework a day?
How can you be condemning all sorts of ppl you dunno and assume their lives and thought processes, when you’ve just ADMITTED that you have that thought process and want that life? xD
Okay this isn’t a self-plug… well it is xD but I also added some parts and it just feels like this is relevant to the attitudes in the OP and stuff xD
In the beginning, the White Shaft created man and then woman to give man company. Men and women were created equal but different, and there was a balance. But because of those differences, equality was not always evident to men who excelled at the arts most needed for human survival and advancement: science, invention, warfare, the hunt. Centuries passed and men began to believe they did not need women and began to enslave then, abuse them and the balance was lost. Many women cried out at this injustice and their pleas eventually manifested itself as an entity: The Darknyss, created from their anger, their suffering and their hatred.
Eventually, the Darknyss gained sentience, and with it a twisted understanding of humanity and the world: men were evil and destructive, and women needed to be saved from them. It was with this hateful and destructive motivation, that it lashed out, possessing and infusing women with great power and enhancing their hate and bitterness.
War ensued with horrible abominations and warriors for both sides being created: Alpha Males… Sexbots… Andrea Dworkin… and in the ensuing struggle men realized that they were incomplete without women and women realized that they were incomplete without men. Together, they realized their proper roles, men as protectors, inventors, warriors, women as caretakers, models for paintings and lovers, and sealed the Darknyss away. The balance was restored.
A period of prosperity and unparalleled technological and scientific growth ensued, with women in their proper role and men in theirs.. but the Darknyss festered. Despite that the conditions of it’s birth were gone, it’s purpose and dark hatred remained and it slowly extended it’s hate-filled tendrils back into the world, corrupting, manipulating, seducing.
A thousand years pass, until it’s influence is everywhere… and nowhere. Despite, or perhaps because of it’s comfortable complacency, society begins to chafe against its foundations, foundations built by the blood, sweat and tears of noble men and gentle women. Wives divorced husbands, mothers abandoned sons. Famine and sickness begin to sweep the land, creating poverty, frustration, and with it hatred, envy and anger.
Men who would have accepted their failures and worked harder to overcome them begin to feel resentment and bitterness. Some sought out the Darknyss for a short and easy route to power and revenge, others merely allowed themselves to be manipulated by it. Women who used to be content raising a new generation of noble artisans, engineers, physicians, scientists and warriors, became deluded into believing that they could fill such roles. Many became bitter and angry, blaming their husbands, refusing to tend their home and became lazy, mouthy and fat. Others acted on their unnatural desires and pursued those disciplines fervently, and upon their natural, logical failure to reach those goals, betrayed humankind and pledged their souls and allegiances to the Darknyss.
Daughters turned on fathers. Queens betrayed Kings. Women lay with women. Men with men. Kingdoms split, and kingdoms fell. Only a brave few remembered the old ways and stood for the White Shaft. Betrayal was rampant. Darknyss reigned… the Second Gender War was about to begin.
Hmmm…. personally, I’d prefer to stay at home and sit on my ass while my wife goes out and provides for me. So I can’t say I agree with this guy.
Will you also bear and raise the children? Because I’m totally looking for a man-servant.
I mean, right now I’m cool sharing a house with a roommie who cooks dinner, while I clean the house. But if I could get someone to cook AND clean AND bring up offspring, that would be way better. And walk the dog for an hour and a half every day so I can sleep in until a decent hour. Maybe with a guy like you around, my family will stop telling me that someday I’ll want a husband and kids of my own.
You would do all that for room and board? Done! Of course, I expect the house to sparkle when I get home, my meals to be prepared and everyone’s homework to be finished before dinner. Can you cook vegetarian entrees?
You don’t even have to pretend you care about me or want to sleep with me. But no personal spending money, I’ll just give you gifts when I’m happy.
It’ll be just like in the 1950s, but not!
I think this is another example of a time we need to ask MRAL what he believes our lives are like.. in this case, stay at home mothers… xD
Something tells me there is a string of failed careers behind these guys. I can’t see most of them being able to be civil or sane enough to really advance. It must really anger them to see a woman do something they can’t.
You’re a fucking idiot.
@Fuck MRAs I dun want to assume that this is true for all of them or even any of them… but I do wonder about the attitudes expressed in a lot of these sorts of rants : My exp in the workplace has been that if somebody has serious anger issues, resentment of their lot in life and also entitlement issues, they tend to either quit or be fired b/c they get into conflicts with everybody, and it’s always the fault of the other person, and nobody recognizes their genius, and everybody else is being promoted, or praised unfairly and b/c of reasons not related to merit, and etc etc : Or if you keep it in, it just builds this giant resentment that you need to take out or blame on others, which makes ideologies like the “all women are to blame, men are natural evolutionary giants” MRA stuff so appealing, it tells them what they want to hear, it’s not their fault, they have the genes of gods swelling inside them, etc etc
@ MRAL
You’re a fucking idiot.
All of us? One poster in particular?
Or are you rejecting my once-in-a-lifetime offer to get what you asked for?
MRAL, do you ever wonder if maybe the fact that you can’t get a date has more to do with the fact that women tend not to want to date men who so obviously hate them, than anything to do with how you look?
FOOD:
Planning meals- five minutes/weel
Going to store(s) to buy stuff for meals- 1 hour/week
Unloading all the stuff for meals- .25 hour/week
Preparing meals- 1 hour/day
Serving meals- 5 minutes/day
Cleaning up after meals- .5 hour/day
CLEANING
Going to store(s) to buy stuff for cleaning- .5 hour/week
Dusting furniture- 1 hour/week
Sweeping or vacuuming floors- .5 hour/day
Cleaning (with incredibly heavy machine) carpets- hire someone to do this.
Cleaning baseboards- .25 hours/week
Cleaning cupboards- .5 hours/week
Cleaning oven- .4 hours/month
Washing dishes from meals (see above)- .5 hours/day
Scrubbing toilets and bathtubs and sinksDrying laundry (dryer? clothesline?)- .5 hours/week
Folding clean laundry and putting away- .25 hours/week
Handling dry cleaning- .25 hours/week
(I won’t mention ironing because I gave it up myself years ago, on the argument that wrinkles are chic! But many people DO)
Man, I’m shaking in my boots. Oh course, for a person as wildly privileged as the majority opf women, I’m sure that seems like slavery.
Fuck MRAs is a fucking idiot is what I meant. Adds nothing of value but man-bashing. FUCK Fuck MRAs.
Hey, I can also offer MRAL some experience!
I’m a SAHM with kids ages 5, almost 4, and 2. Sometime in August, I have to have surgery that will leave me absolutely out-of-commission for two weeks.
So what do you say, MRAL? Want a quick “vacation” in Florida for two weeks before you go back to school? I can’t buy your plane ticket, but I can offer room, board, and use of a car.
MRAL, who’s a fucking idiot? You?
I work with some lazy men, not only don’t they do much, they’re lazy thinkers, too. The kind that refer to any care of their off-spring as “babysitting.” If that’s not lazy, I’m not sure what is.
I do all the cooking and shopping and etc for my family… where the hell did you get shopping is 1 hour a week or cooking is 1 hour a day? o_O (ignoring your theoretical lowest of the low estimations… that or you think you live in like a box xD )
or as my friend just said: “your argument can be demolished by one hour in a high school home ec class, sir”
Wait, MRAL, so these estimates you just put up. If it turns out to be WAY more and harder than that, would you still want to do it? Or is this about how much you think you’d be up for doing?