Quiz: Which of the following is an example of female infidelity? (Check all that apply.)
a) A man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship; neither one sleeps with anyone else.
b) A man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship; the man sleeps with someone else.
c) A man and a woman are in a monogamous relationship; the woman sleeps with someone else.
d) A woman, who may or may not be in a monogamous relationship, works hard at a job she enjoys.
ANSWER: If you answered c, congratulations! You are correct. If you also answered d, you are probably PUA guru and freelance internet asshole “Roissy” or one of his douchey fans. In a recent post Roissy argues, quite sincerely, that women who take their careers seriously are committing a sort of psycho-social-sexual crime against men.
In the post, Roissy quotes a reader of his who’d suggested that “female career obsession [is] a form of infidelity to the family and marrage.” Roissy seconds this opinion and goes on to argue that:
Women who place their careers front and center are committing a kind of betrayal of their sex’s biological and psychological imperatives. It’s like a big middle finger to everything that distinguishes the feminine from the masculine, the yin from the yang.
Is it possible that these women are just, you know, really into their careers? That they’re good at what they do and enjoy doing it? That they want to make a difference in the world? That they might have a family to support? Or that, you know, they simply like making a lot of money?
Of course not. For Roissy, careers are little more than psychological crutches for women who are 1) trying to distract themselves from loneliness and/or sexual boredom:
It’s quite possible that the worst offenders — the 14 hour day lawyercunts and the graduate school hermits — embrace the male-oriented rat race and achievement spectacle because it offers a welcome distraction from either spinsterly loneliness or boring beta male partners who, while intellectually are rationalized as good matches, do not viscerally excite them.
Or, 2) imagining themselves as the heroines in some glamorous romance novel:
Maybe, too, these careerist chicks see their jobs as a way to enter the world of the alpha male, to have a taste of what it would be like to be part of his life. The office cubes and doormen and glassy skyscrapers have given legions of plain janes the daily stimulation to mentally masturbate fantasy romances with the alpha males who run their companies or the alpha salesmen who greet them at the front desk with a twinkle in their eyes.
Or, 3) trying to magically ward off the case of the uglies that apparently infects each and every woman when she hits the age of 40:
When a woman’s SMV [Sexual Market Value] inevitably craters in her 40s, her career might be all she has to lift her spirits, especially if she has no husband she loves, no kids, or even just one kid who spends most of his time playing CoD or robbing convenience stores.
Of course, in Roissy’s mind, these women aren’t quite women to begin with, even before they get hit with the 40th birthday ugly stick:
[T]here is something “off” about women who are excessively devoted to their careers and to obtaining an acronymic parade of pointless credentials. Careerist shrikes are some of the most unpleasant, unfeminine women to be around. They must have more androgen receptors than normal women to be so grating to the male sensibility. Sure, they can fuck like Viagra-laced male pornstars, but as soon as you relieve yourself in them you will feel a second powerful urge to escape their aggro nastiness.
Yeah, somehow I’m guessing that urge to flee is pretty strong in these women as well, as soon as they realize that they guy they’ve just had sex with is a pretentious narcissistic windbag who hates women.
Roissy continues, revealing far more about his own sexual insecurities than about any actual career women:
The women for whom career success is their comfort and their purpose are some sort of weird, monstrous amalgam of man and woman, halfway between both worlds, their sexual polarity askew. These types tend to attract either intense short term flings with alphas or plodding marriages with dweeby, effete kitchen bitches.
Roissy is vaguely aware that feminists – not to mention pretty much anyone who isn’t a complete douchebag misogynist – might have a few issues with his theories here.
The dumbfuck feminists will naturally ask, “Why doesn’t this same theory apply to men? Aren’t they escaping sad love lives by retreating to their careers?”
Don’t you know it’s different for guys? Unlike women, men are evolutionarily programmed to be resource providers for women. It is not a betrayal of a man’s innate purpose in life to ambitiously pursue achievement and accolades. In fact, just the opposite; it’s an affirmation of that ancient purpose.
Remember this, you ungrateful career ladies: WE HUNTED THE MAMMOTH TO FEED YOU!
So, in his ideal world, what are women who are not marriage material supposed to do, exactly?
This guy is what, 80 years old?
Commit hari-kari, apparently.
What gets to me is that the MRA’s don’t get the hypocrisy of 1) claiming that all women are golddigging whores, and 2) condemning any woman who earns a good living.
This post is proof once again that MRA/PUA’s contempt for women is equaled only by their dim view of men.
My marriage, in which my wife works full-time, while I work part-time and take care of our kids the rest of the time, must seem like some sort of hellish feminist dystopia to them. Oddly enough, we like it just fine.
Well, maybe not “just fine;” we’d prefer it if we could both get away with working part time, so as to have more time with our kids. Can’t have everything, I guess.
I dunno. I suppose that since women are aliens, it’s inconceivable that women take and do and can be fully immersed in jobs for the much same reasons men do these things. No, these not-humans’ primary “job” is to be hot and young and ready for Roissy and his gang of douchebags, and it’s only some kind of disease that makes them try to emulate their superiors by “doin stuff.” It’s not like being “excessively” devoted to anything — including your partner — is unhealthy in itself. And it’s certainly not like achievement in academia and the workplace is a nongendered thing — neither feminine nor masculine. And oh my god is it not at all like any woman’s achievement or wants or success at work or otherwise takes nothing away from men in the bedroom. And of course let us not forget that it is not at all like some women really are asexual, and some men are too, and not everyone is straight and monogamous and cis.
Nope, none of those things are true. What is true is that we should all take life advice from an aging, insecure man who can’t bear to be honest with himself or his readers.
I mean, it’s gotta be a joke. Doesn’t it?
Wow.
This brings to mind a recent post on A Voice for Men calledA Letter to Traditional Women, where the author basically tells women who support MRA’s but don’t work to “Kindly go fuck yourself” that they’re nothing more than “a traditionalist whore seeking to protect the free labor and protection that keeps her on her bon-bon fattened ass” and they’re getting a “free ride on this planet at the expense of the brainwashed bastards whose blood and sweat keeps a pillow under their ass” and that “you should, in all reality, hang your head in shame for being the utter waste of human space that you are”. Then he kindly tells them to “Get the fuck up off your lazy ass and get a job.”
Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.
Ooh, I get a little shiver of delight at all the wicked wicked wicked things I do!
Did not marry MAN, check.
Have LOTZ of CATZ, check.
Work hard at job I LURVE, checkcheckcheck.
Bwawhahahahahahahahahahahahaha (that’s my Evil Crone Laff, mind you–spent years as SPINSTER perfecting it).
ANd seconding all the posters pointing out the hypocrisy of blaming teh wimminz BOTH for marrying men (goldigging) and for working jobs (NOT goldigging).
They really do want sexbots, don’t they?
So according to this guy whose goofy made-up name I can’t bother to learn to spell, women who work hard at their jobs do so because they love the excitement of the workplace, they want to do something meaningful with their lives in addition to raising a family, and they know it’s useful to have skills and money of their own if the whole white-picket-fence ideal falls apart. Also, having a career makes a woman self-confident and awesome in the sack.
And this is bad.
This is a useful post, though, because my husband finds anti-feminist stuff mystifying, and one of the first things he asked me about Manboobz was, “Why would guys be against women getting equal work for equal pay? Isn’t it better for them if their wives bring home more money?” The answer: no. Because, I don’t know, doing stuff makes women ugly or something.
Ahh, Life is What You Make It, but you are ignoring the crucial distinction between a job and a career. In the MRA culture, a woman definitely should have a job, but she must not be educated, and the job should be low-ranking and not pay enough to make the woman economically self-sufficient. It should not, under any circumstances, entail even the slightest possibility that the woman will have authority over men or be in a position to instruct men. So, cleaning hotel rooms — okay. Teaching a college class, no. Practicing law, hell no.
Careerist shrikes are some of the most unpleasant, unfeminine women to be around.
Translation: Women who have been educated and have a career usually see through my bullshit faster than younger, more naive women. They won’t do what I tell them, dammit!
So, in his ideal world, what are women who are not marriage material supposed to do, exactly?
It’s not just unmarried women. Remember, every woman becomes a disgusting, inhuman monster when she hits her 40th birthday, if not sooner. Career or no career, family or no family, we’re apparently supposed to kill ourselves the minute the first age lines appear so MRAs don’t have to gaze upon our hideous crone visages.
Studies of modern hunter gatherer societies have shown that women provide the majority of the tribe’s food. The men hunt, yes, and bring home meat, but are unsuccessful more often than they are successful.
When a hunting party brought home a successful kill it was a cause for celebration and an opportunity for the men to gain social status but hunting is not a reliable source of food.
(not my original source) http://www.economist.com/node/10278703
Long story short, this is one example among many to show that Roissy is full of shit.
Aww i love my cup of stupidity in the morning.
Hmmm…. personally, I’d prefer to stay at home and sit on my ass while my wife goes out and provides for me. So I can’t say I agree with this guy. It’s indicative of women’s pampering and privilege that so many sit on their ass, but for those that want to go out and work, that’s pretty admirable.
“that so many sit on their ass”
How do you figure, Mr. Al?
I’m gonna google some figures in a sec, but just anecdotally, I can tell you that the few women I know (myself included) who don’t work are either unemployed because of the recession and looking for work, in school full time, managing a house and family, retired, or chronically disabled.
Same with the men I know, incidentally.
No, a lot of women are just lazy as fuck.
“Mnaging a house”, wtf? That’s code for “doing jack”. Takes two hours a day AT MOST.
Prove it MRAL!
This strikes me as similar to what my brother does: some part of a conversation prompts him to create arguments in his head, casting himself as the concise and eloquent opponent. Then he tells me about the conversation and debate, but neglects to mention that the argument was entirely fabricated.
Even if my career were not interesting and intellectually stimulating, even if it did not make a difference in the world, even if I did not feel like I am doing exactly what my particular brain and temperament were ideally suited for, even if I did not extract enormous confidence and pride in my accomplishments there, in fact, even if I despised every moment of my education and working life, instead of loving it, it would be worth it to never, ever be dependent on someone who thinks it is appropriate to describe having sex with a woman as
Ew. What a revolting little person. I’ll stick with my lovely, respectful, funny. smart, sexy “dweeby, effete kitchen bitch,” thanks ever so much.
Also, killing the mammoth for us aside, it seems rather obvious to me that if anybody can be said to be “evolutionarily programmed to be resource providers,” it has to be women. We have actually evolved the ability to provide nutrients to our children using our bodies. I want to see evidence that there was ever, ever a time when it was not common for women to feed children. I am supposed to believe that providing nutrition for children has always and invariably the role of male hunters? I don’t. Because it makes no fucking sense.
In a nation of over 300 million people, 5.6 million or so women are stay-at-home wives or mothers. And in a 1/3 of American households, the female partner out earns her male counterpart, according to the recent census.
Of all the married people and co-habitating heterosexual couples that I know, only one woman is stay-at-home mom.
This idea that women are lazy is bullshit.
I almost feel sad for anyone looking at life through Roissy-coloured glasses.
Almost. To have so much visceral hatred inside oneself can’t be healthy, but as one of the objects of that hatred, my empathy only goes so far.
To MRAL, yes, a lot of women as “lazy as fuck.” So are a lot of men. I know, because I’ve worked with many throughout the years. But if you honestly believe one sex is lazier than the other, well then, there’s not much one can do if you insist on being intellectually lazy as fuck.
If women are the equal of men in the workplace, and are’t lazy, I guess there’s no need for fymynysm then!
Oh wait….
No, a lot of women are just lazy as fuck.
Citation needed.
Are men not just as likely to be lazy as women? I’ll grant your assertion that some women are indeed lazy as fuck when you admit that some men are also lazy as fuck, men and women both can also be hard workers, and there’s no good reason other than misogyny to single out women for being lazy.
And you have obviously not tried to manage a house involving children. Even in a two person household, it’s a chore.
If women aren’t the equal of men in the work place, and are in fact lazy lay-abouts, I guess there’s no need for blog posts about how annoying career oriented women are then.
Oh wait…
Moving on: What I don’t understand is this: Roissy and his followers are all about not getting married, right? I’ve only read a few of his posts and usually those have been sent to me by friends. He’s a huge advocate of the pump-and-dump lifestyle, pick up artistry, game, and that branch of MRM, correct?
So if career oriented women don’t make good wives*, what’s wrong with career-oriented women, again? If you aren’t looking to get married or be in serious relationships anyway, wouldn’t women who value their careers over men be excellent choices for casual, sexual relationships?
*I am, of course, playing Devil’s Advocate. The idea that women who love their jobs don’t value marriage, children, or their husbands is bullshit.