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How the Other Half Lives, according to dudes who have no idea how the other half lives

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It’s always handy when one of the MGTOW brethren sums up one of the tribe’s beliefs in a handy little post. The following is what every single MRTOWer out there (not to mention many MRAs and PUAs and even some non-acronymified misogynists) seems to believe about how women live their lives today. When I say “every single MGTOWer” I’m not really exaggerating for impact – well, maybe a teensy bit. But I don’t think I’ve ever run across an MGTOWer who doesn’t take all of the following on faith.

Like many manosphere beliefs about women – like the whole “women only fuck the top 20% of men” thing – there is of course not a shred of evidence for any of this. It’s an essentially religious belief, accepted on faith. MGTOWers are like monks in the douchiest religion ever.

Anyway, fresh from a post by “Rogue” on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, here’s how all you ladies are living your lives:

The modern woman’s life plan goes like this:

Step 1) From first sexual awakening throughout her twenties, fuck as many Alpha Asshole men (hereafter referred to as AA) as she can in a quest of sheer narcissistic hedonism. May give birth to an AA spawn during this time; party lifestyle and general female educative path (elementary teacher, social worker) results in shaky finances.

[citation needed]

Step 2) Oops, getting close to or past age 30? Find a Nice Guy Beta (hereafter referred to as NGB), dupe him into marriage with sex (he’s generally grateful for the attention, having had less than stellar success with women throughout his twenties), use his money to stabilize shaky finances. Strong likelihood of having another child or two; may again be AA spawn due to affairs. Pack on 30 pounds of fat (at least!). Cut off sex with NGB since she now has him over a barrel and was never really attracted to him in the first place. Get steadily angrier and more dissatisfied.

[citation needed]

Step 3) Divorce at or slightly before age 40; attempt to remount AA cock carousel, this time as a cougar. Fail miserably because no AA wants an old, fat female body and a loose pussy that looks like a hunk of roast beef that’s been worked over with a dozen ball-peen hammers for a month. Said failure twists her mind until her only remaining pleasure in life is to fuck with ex-NGB in various ways such as taking him back to court to raise CS payments, or denying him visitation rights to his children.

[citation needed]

 Step 4) Accept that she’s past her time for the AA cock carousel; become a companion to many cats.

[citation needed]

And what’s with all the cat-hatred, anyway? Cats are adorable, endlessly fascinating little monsters who do no harm to anyone, unless you count all the times my cat has attacked me without provocation and the fact that she just threw up her dinner and is now insistently demanding a second dinner. To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Jackie Brown, you can trust cats to be cats.

Anyway, back to the sermon:

The marriage strike is just an attempt to short-circuit steps 2 and 3, and force women to ride step 1 as long as they can, then transition directly to step 4. Will women like the result if, instead of rushing to save them at age 30, men just shake their heads and walk away? I think it’s an experiment worth trying.

Once again: please, please, please walk away. Walk far away. Become monks in your douchy religion. Just remember that most monks who take a vow of chastity don’t spend the rest of their lives whining about how women are a bunch of filthy bitches.

Oh, and before anyone pops in with a “why do you pick on the outliers, this guy doesn’t represent bla bla bla,” the post (which naturally got nothing but huzzahs on NiceGuy’s forum) was also highlighted on the MRA blog What Men Are Saying About Women as an example of “superb” discussion of the Woman Question. This bullshit is Manosphere-Approved bullshit.

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tofu nutloaf
tofu nutloaf
13 years ago

So, I’m going on 40; what I’m not clear on is if I should start acquiring the cats now, or after I screw over my husband? I already have one cat, as does he. If I start getting other cats, will it tip him off to my evil plans? or do you get the cats after the divorce settlement, when the money starts rolling in?

this is the first time I’ve heard any of this shit. How come no one ever clues me in?

carswell
carswell
13 years ago

So – it’s morphed from the “bad boy cock carousel” to the “alpha asshole cock carousel”.

No wonder I can’t find it. I’ve got to keep up with the program.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

This pathway is very strange to me. I totally did not follow it as I am a childless woman in my thirties who is still trying to decide if I actually want marriage or not.

papr1ka
papr1ka
13 years ago

I think I dun goof’d…that, or I wasn’t paying attention when the “alpha asshole cock carousel” went by. Either way, I soooo missed the memo with regard to how my life is charted out. Now I’m all messed up…engaged to get married in two years to my first and only boyfriend, not to mention that I’ve already acquired three freaking cats! And a dog! Gah! I’ve ruined the whole process >.< Imma have to go extreme and get like, a wombat when I'm in my forties just to make up for all of these transgressions.

No, but seriously, aren't sweeping generalizations fun?

Alex
13 years ago

So…where do I fit in? Didn’t have sex till I was twenty-three, only had two boyfriends in my life, still with the second and we’ve been together six years, and I intend to get a cat sometime after we’re able to live together. And a dog. And maybe a bat or an otter.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@Pecunium I meant like if you married your clone xD

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

@tofu nutloaf you should start giving your husband cat DNA injections every night >_>

tofu nutloaf
tofu nutloaf
13 years ago

Husband + cat DNA could yield some very interesting results.

Hmmmm….

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

I would never want to marry my clone, age difference is too great.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
13 years ago

This bi male actually would rather like to ride the Alpha Cock Carousel. Where can I get tickets?

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Paul’s House of Sex at…

Okay, I probably should not post his address, he would kill me.

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

Bi ppl dun exist! >:| It’s all just straight guys, straight girls, feminist brainwashed political lesbians and broken men who have given up and turn to other men! xD

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scion_xD

I think btw, I should get one of these for free xD I mean I advertise for them every day!!! xDDDD

swgmigraines
13 years ago

I love how no matter how many women stand up and say, “This isn’t true, and my life proves it,” these guys are so invested in their fantasy that the narrative always stays the same.

Here’s my story: I didn’t have sex until I was 22, and I’m still with the guy I gave my virginity to. We have okay jobs. He graduated from technical school; I graduated from art school. He’s a chef; I work in a call center. He dreams of opening his own restaurant; I want to either advance in my company, or go back to school and become an OBGYN – haven’t decided yet. We both agree that a pregnancy is not something we want right now, and if I got pregnanct that I would get an abortion. We both love animals – but he’s the cat lover (he even went out and bought two of them, even though he’s very allergic!), and I’m a dog person. He’s not an ‘alpha,’ but neither am I, I suppose, thereby reinforcing what a previous commenter said – we tend to date people ‘in our league,’ so to speak.

Plymouth
Plymouth
13 years ago

Sarah – Have you seen the Poly Friendly Professionals page? A friend of mine maintains it:
http://www.polychromatic.com/pfp/main.php
Not sure how well populated it is for gyns and I know it varies quite a bit geographically, but it’s worth a look. I’ve never actually used it myself as I’ve been pretty much monogamous since before I found out about it.

tin spider
tin spider
13 years ago

@Ami

Oh jeez, Thrax. I’ve seen so many stupid YouTube vids of him, stealing other cartoon character’s girlfriends. (Wait, does that make him an alpha?)

And as for the “Life Plan”, I’ve completely failed it. Been with the same guy for 10 years. Haven’t cheated. No kids. Unless a chinchilla counts.

Plymouth
Plymouth
13 years ago

Hmm, my life path seems to have been:

1) High school, pretty unpopular, told I was “unfuckable”, convinced I will die a miserable lonely virgin. Finally lose my virginity at age 17 to a friend-of-a-friend from a neighboring town who turns out to be gay. (He’s awesome though and we still keep in touch.)

2) College: study the oh-so-feminine field of mechanical engineering. Find myself a really sweet beta boy and get engaged. Spend most of college monogamous.

3) About to graduate college, realize I am missing my chance on the cock carousel, break up with my beta boy and spend my early 20s riding the Beta Bad Boy Cock Carousel. My weakness is pale scrawny long-haired goth boys. Ok, most of them aren’t really all that bad :). Get really good at birth control and don’t get pregnant (seriously, I know it has a failure rate but using it right is just not that hard).

4) Late 20s, getting a little tired of the cock carousel finally and one of my pretty goth betas convinces me to stick around. We move in together. I gain 25 pounds. So does he. He proposes anyway. Currently trying to lose weight together and planning for the wedding. At least 90% sure we don’t want kids.

Leroy Brown
Leroy Brown
13 years ago

So – it’s morphed from the “bad boy cock carousel” to the “alpha asshole cock carousel”.

No wonder I can’t find it. I’ve got to keep up with the program.

Morphed from BBCC to AACC, meaning the obvious next iteration should be, what? ZZCC? Figure that out, and you should be able to beat it there and be first in line.

Plymouth
Plymouth
13 years ago

Oh, I forgot to mention – my beta boy came pre-equipped with cats!! He had two of them and we got a third together. One of his original two died in March though so we are back down to two 🙁

chocominties
chocominties
13 years ago

As a woman who is, in theory, an “alpha” (based on the definitions given by our resident Omega-men), I must be doing everything ALL WRONG. But you know … you have so much hot sex and the dudes hate you. You have NO sex and they hate you. The only acceptable option is sex with *them*.

And really, a single woman surviving on 30k a year isn’t doing too badly. I was making 3,000,000 yen or so per year in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I could even save money! Social workers and teachers aren’t going to bring in 100k, but if you work long enough you can make plenty for a single woman with no kids. Bringing a husband in who might even lose his job and rely solely on that income? That’s when it becomes shaky.

(I know for a fact that one of my elementary teachers makes 50-60k. More than her husband. If I were making 50k? Think of how many cats I could support!!)

Ami Angelwings
13 years ago

AACC = Ami Angelwings’ Cat Cult

So they do have to change the acronym yus.. or they will be sued… and given that feminists control the courts, they would lose and since every man will soon be paying womb rent to their mothers once Bill FU-D00-DS passes, they’ll have to sell their penises in order pay the settlement to me. xD

Plymouth
Plymouth
13 years ago

Oh, I should also mention the Kink Aware Professionals, though I don’t know the people who run this one:
https://www.ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage.html

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
13 years ago

Actually, depending on the position, Social Workers can indeed pull in 100k.

alphaassholecockcarousel
alphaassholecockcarousel
13 years ago

Do what now?