It’s always handy when one of the MGTOW brethren sums up one of the tribe’s beliefs in a handy little post. The following is what every single MRTOWer out there (not to mention many MRAs and PUAs and even some non-acronymified misogynists) seems to believe about how women live their lives today. When I say “every single MGTOWer” I’m not really exaggerating for impact – well, maybe a teensy bit. But I don’t think I’ve ever run across an MGTOWer who doesn’t take all of the following on faith.
Like many manosphere beliefs about women – like the whole “women only fuck the top 20% of men” thing – there is of course not a shred of evidence for any of this. It’s an essentially religious belief, accepted on faith. MGTOWers are like monks in the douchiest religion ever.
Anyway, fresh from a post by “Rogue” on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, here’s how all you ladies are living your lives:
The modern woman’s life plan goes like this:
Step 1) From first sexual awakening throughout her twenties, fuck as many Alpha Asshole men (hereafter referred to as AA) as she can in a quest of sheer narcissistic hedonism. May give birth to an AA spawn during this time; party lifestyle and general female educative path (elementary teacher, social worker) results in shaky finances.
[citation needed]
Step 2) Oops, getting close to or past age 30? Find a Nice Guy Beta (hereafter referred to as NGB), dupe him into marriage with sex (he’s generally grateful for the attention, having had less than stellar success with women throughout his twenties), use his money to stabilize shaky finances. Strong likelihood of having another child or two; may again be AA spawn due to affairs. Pack on 30 pounds of fat (at least!). Cut off sex with NGB since she now has him over a barrel and was never really attracted to him in the first place. Get steadily angrier and more dissatisfied.
[citation needed]
Step 3) Divorce at or slightly before age 40; attempt to remount AA cock carousel, this time as a cougar. Fail miserably because no AA wants an old, fat female body and a loose pussy that looks like a hunk of roast beef that’s been worked over with a dozen ball-peen hammers for a month. Said failure twists her mind until her only remaining pleasure in life is to fuck with ex-NGB in various ways such as taking him back to court to raise CS payments, or denying him visitation rights to his children.
[citation needed]
Step 4) Accept that she’s past her time for the AA cock carousel; become a companion to many cats.
[citation needed]
And what’s with all the cat-hatred, anyway? Cats are adorable, endlessly fascinating little monsters who do no harm to anyone, unless you count all the times my cat has attacked me without provocation and the fact that she just threw up her dinner and is now insistently demanding a second dinner. To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Jackie Brown, you can trust cats to be cats.
Anyway, back to the sermon:
The marriage strike is just an attempt to short-circuit steps 2 and 3, and force women to ride step 1 as long as they can, then transition directly to step 4. Will women like the result if, instead of rushing to save them at age 30, men just shake their heads and walk away? I think it’s an experiment worth trying.
Once again: please, please, please walk away. Walk far away. Become monks in your douchy religion. Just remember that most monks who take a vow of chastity don’t spend the rest of their lives whining about how women are a bunch of filthy bitches.
Oh, and before anyone pops in with a “why do you pick on the outliers, this guy doesn’t represent bla bla bla,” the post (which naturally got nothing but huzzahs on NiceGuy’s forum) was also highlighted on the MRA blog What Men Are Saying About Women as an example of “superb” discussion of the Woman Question. This bullshit is Manosphere-Approved bullshit.
You know…the “Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel” actually sounds…rather fun. I’m thinking of this exhibit I saw at the Museum of Sex (check it out if you’re ever in NYC), where there was a rocking chair with a dildo affixed to the seat that stroked in and out of the person in the seat as they rocked. I can see a carousel set up in a similar way…although I must admit, I don’t have any real experience with cocks other than my own. What say you, cock-riders? Would you want to ride such a carousel?
Assuming safety precautions were taken, of course
I think that some of the Nice Guys(tm) only go for women who are out their league because it’s safe to do so. Most Nice Guys(tm) have internalized the sexist teachings that men really don’t have any emotional life other than anger and lust – and to be in an actual relationship with someone (or even to aim for a one night stand or NSA/FWB sex) requires a certain degree of emotional vulnerability – the risk of being rejected, or the risk of heartbreak, or the risk that the woman will see past their facade to real person beneath.
So if they start off knowing that the woman is ‘out of their league’, then they save themselves all that emotional drama. They can assert their heteronormativity without having to risk emotion.
I have a friend who’s not a Nice Guy(tm), yet who occasionally mentions that it sucks he doesn’t have a girlfriend. But he makes no effort to actually meet women or ask them out, and the once or twice a year he does get a date, there’s always something off, or he cancels at the last minute and doesn’t try to reschedule. I asked him once what kind of girlfriend he was looking for, and the list he gave me was so long and complex that it was impossible for any woman to meet every single requirement – and they were all deal-breakers to him. It’s easier for him to set up his own obstacles to getting a girlfriend and going on dates than to take all the emotional risks of starting and being in a relationship. Fortunately, he’s not a bitter asshole, and kind of realizes that his state of perpetual singlehood is his own doing, and not the fault of Evil Wimminz.
But I wonder if the Nice Guys ™ are kind of like my friend – they’re scared of relationships and women because of the emotional risk they represent. And it’s easier to reject women for being stinky bitches, because the alternative is getting rejected by a stinky bitch – or worse, having to feel actual feeings, which is something only stinky bitches do.
Oh, how I DESPISE the attitude that men make the money and women marry them for financial stability. This has historically been the case (based on what I learned in history class a long time ago), but now many women make more money than their male partners. I have frequently made more money than the men I date. I currently make far more money than my male partner. Around 40% of my female friends make more money than their male partners. I have three female friends and one female cousin who pay alimony to their male ex-husbands. And we live in the Midwest, not the coasts. This makes me wonder about sex discrepancies in salaries. I’d like to see a good thorough study.
Due to sexist attitudes about income, I and many of my female friends have to be very careful about offering to pay for things and discussing salaries with our male partners. It’s a very sensitive matter that these MRA/MGTOW idiots seem to want to make worse.
Alpha asshole cock carousel?? That actually sounds fun. Where is this ride located?
Hmm, I totally “saved” my husband (granted, he was 33 at the time) because I had the well-paying job, and the two degrees and he never finished college. Plus, he’s far from the most attractive guy around in the “alpha-beta-omega” sense. Skinny, hairy, buck-toothed, balding (he would very much like to transfer some body hair to his head, if possible) charming, sweet, entertaining, fun to be around. And I went and supported him while he was unemployed! That’s unpossible!
I dumped the 6’5″ blond, blue-eyed, muscular guy I was seeing my senior year in college because while being an actual nice guy, the sex wasn’t that great, and I thought he was too young for me (he was a freshman) and I was still pining for the 5’7″ Korean guy that I had been dating until he graduated and moved 3000 miles away… But then, that’s a story about real life, not MRA fantasy world.
Also, on the whole success thing –
Being successful, in any career field, is not just about talents, it’s also about successfully negotiating relationships. Kave posted a very good comment about business deals made on the golf course.
To be successful in your career, you generally have to be able to network. You need to be able to get along with people both above you and below you, as well as your coworkers. You have to have cultivated good references and a good reputation. This is all done by being able to tell what people want from you and expect from you, and being clear and reasonable about your expectations from others.
In short, the people skills that help make someone a success in their career are the very same people skills that help make a relationship with another human being successful.
I’ve always wondered that if alpha/beta/omega is this genetic thing (as I keep hearing, w/ the whole you can be alpha w/o having any accomplishments, no matter how buff I get the women just know I’m omega, etc etc), and women never have kids with nebody but alphas (even in marriage, we’re cheating cheaters of cheatdom xD ) and genetics is straight line gender divided (since the belief seems to be that somehow men and women w/ totally opposite traits have been breeding with only each other since the beginning of time and producing more men and women w/ totally opposite traits xD ).. then why would there be ANY beta or omega guys at all? o_O;;; Or do they have to trick women to ensure their survival? Maybe we shouldn’t mock this PUA stuff, it’s their attempt to keep their “race” alive in the face of female “shit test” eugenics! xD
Also my favourite thing is always to ask these ppl how they think our lives rly are? Like Holly, or Ozy’s, or mine… how is my life like? What’d I do yesterday? What’d I do the day before? xD I always get the feeling they imagine we’re all Lauren Conrad, and I went out in my pink convertible, bought a salad, a diet coke and a tuna sub for lunch, batted my eyelashes at a guy to pay for it, then went shopping at Aritza w/ my dad/b/fs/fiance/beta friend/etc’s credit card, then drove to the beach w/ my other size 0 C cup friends, chatted up some guys, etc etc… no wonder they hate us xD
“Marc, given that (according to the Kinsey Institute) 90% of men have had sex in the past year (and almost all men have sex at some point in their lives), I would say that (straight) women have sex with nearly all (straight) men.”
Who knows if that’s true?
They also found that men have two times more sex partners than women which is logically impossible
Ahh, the diad, “power and success”. First the whole thing with “power”. Would an MRA please explain to me what they mean by “power”? Are they saying only dictators and senators get laid or do they fantasize that they are all Plantagenets or something?
Look, I am seriously hampered by my bad English. I might not get the fine details in the meaning of those words. I just thought it would be pretty synonymous with “status”.
“By contrast, a candidate who can’t seem to get his shit together in multiple tries will clearly end up being an albatross around your neck, so OF COURSE, you’d go with someone who is successful, other factors being equal.”
The question is not if women value status and men don’t… the question is if they value it more.
@Holly I missed those lessons too! -_-;; We really need to stop skipping classes…
@Tabby one of the things I’ve heard a lot from guys I knew who believed in this (tho not to the extreme) is that (they believe) men care about looks and sex and physical attraction and women do not. It’s natural to men, and therefore it’s something women will never understand, and it’s oppressive to men to not understand that they just can’t be w/ a person who is ugly/fat/short/too tall/etc… so it’s not fair to compare our wanting “alphas” to them wanting “alphas”. Our wanting “alphas” is purely selfish and unfair b/c it’s based on just a bank account, while them wanting “alphas” is pure and natural -_-;;
I’m super stinky, and men and women give me a second glance all the time. And, Destructo-Zynx and Gyoza say ‘fuck you, MRAs’ on behalf of cats everywhere.
I’ve always said that if a man wants to date an attractive woman, he needs to spend as much time on his own physical appearance as he expects her to.
Last time I brought that up on this blog, I got called misandrist by an MRA. Go figure.
“fuck, eat, fuck, rage on internet, sleep.”
Sounds good to me!
@Marc: “I just thought it would be pretty synonymous with “status”.”
Even so, you still need to define what status is! It’s a really vague concept.
“The question is not if women value status and men don’t… the question is if they value it more.”
Right. And we’re saying, as women, we don’t.
Is English a second language for you?
Seraph, the illustration in the header depicts just such a carousel! And is available as a t-shirt!
Also, guys, I need some off topic advice, if no one minds. How do I find a nice sex, kink, queer, poly positive gynecologist?
I saw my current one today, and her main advice on how to avoid STDs was to get into a monogamous relationship, even after I told her that that wasn’t an option. She also told me that dental damns don’t really work. And she asked some prying questions about my orientation. >_<
I've also had some problems in the past with some of the people working at the practice becoming overly concerned about some of the bruises I've received at play.
What’s weird about “who values what more” is how do you measure that xD Not just in general populations “50% of men say XYZ is important while 60% of women say XYZ is” or w/e… but even within those, how do we know HOW important it is to them? xD Like I would say no… but maybe it’s not important to me at ALL! Or maybe it’s not AS important as other things… or if I said yes…. does a woman who says that they wouldn’t date an unemployed guy be the same, more, less than a woman who says they wouldn’t date anybody less than a pro athlete? XD Do they both count as “women who care about status” and therefore are in the % equally? Are they weighted? Do women who say “I don’t give a s- about how much he makes at all?” get weighted too? Or are they just a simple no? xD What IS status? Like guys who want to date a cheerleader. Is that caring about status? Or does that “not count” b/c it’s just about attractiveness? It always strikes me as funny that I want a hot girl on my arm isn’t counted as status seeking to a lot of guys who subscribe to this “men don’t care about status, women do” thing xD Or all the constant “I’m dating a model! A MODEL!” or “that guy is dating the head cheerleader!” xD they may have a different way of rating “status” (attractiveness vs income) but it seems all about impressing the other guys to me xD
We should come up w/ a scale to measure status… and who likes how much status xD (this is my geeky math/RPG side coming out)
Any suggestions for categories? xD
Height… weight… clothing size… breast size… penis size…. 6 pack y/n, bicep measurements… phrenology… current salary… total average salary over lifetime… current occupation…. number of cats…
“then why would there be ANY beta or omega guys at all?”
Yes, puzzling, like… “Why are there gay men?”
@Sarah where do you live? (I can help you out in Toronto obv xD But I know comms I can ask for most areas in the states)
@ Sarah:
Maybe Planned Parenthood, if there’s one near you? Ask around locally for references?
And I’d be worried about a woman with suspicious bruises if I were a clinician, too. I mean, I’m definitely kink-friendly, but I’d still ask a couple questions about the bruises just to make sure it was all safe, sane and consensual.
@Marc b/c genetics doesn’t work the way I just outlined xD
xD Reading comprehension FTW xD
@Sarah I’m trying to get a working character sheet for “status” here… xD You should add to the list! Then we’ll try to turn everything into a quantitative equation, and for things that aren’t, we can do like a flowchart thing xD
Yes, puzzling, like… “Why are there gay men?”
Current theory is that the genetic component of homosexuality is carried on the X chromosome, so gay guys got it from their mother, not their father.
There are also theories involving overpopulation. When pigs and rats were housed in crowded living conditions, both groups started producing more pigs and rats who displayed homosexual behavior. Also, for every son a woman gives birth to, the likelihood of her next son being born gay increases – in large families, the gay kids are probably the younger/youngest.
An ev/psych theory put forth posits that gay uncles and aunts still help the family unit. They are around to help their brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, without their own children as competition for resources. I personally hate ev/psych, but there you go.
Well, more proof that I’m not a woman.
And none of the women I know are women either. Bizarre.
Of course, according to David K. Meller, I’m a feminist and therefore not a woman or a human.
I actually don’t care as much that MGTOWers don’t understand anything about women, as that they constantly FAIL TO GO THEIR OWN WAY. Seriously, guys. If you’re going to join a movement that says right in the title that you’re gonna go your own way, go your own fucking way. Don’t sit around moping about how someday you fear you’ll be forced to go your own way, probably … GO. I can trust cats to be cats but I can’t trust men going their own way to go their own way and leave polite society alone? What kind of messed up world is this?
Ah, what the hell. Here’s my romantic life, boiled down into tiny, easy-to-digest chunks:
1. Got crushes on interesting guys. Dated some. Was ignored by others. Was rejected by others still.
2. Had sex with interesting guys. Figured out what worked and what didn’t. Developed deep emotional relationships with some, lasting to this day.
3. Entered into current relationship with man I adore. Am faithful. Supportive. Loving. Etc. Failed to stay young and virginal. Was accepted by my boyfriend (who has also failed to stay young and virginal) despite these flaws.
Not that it matters. Not to a MGTOW, anyway. From what I’ve noticed, they’re as bad at comprehending anything that doesn’t support their wrongheaded worldview as they are at going their own way.
@Sarah, I’ve had some similar issues. I do martial arts and spar frequently. I’ve had more than a few OB/Gyns get upset at the bruises. I’m currently monogamous but have not been in the past and have had a gyn freak out about this. I schedule an apt and am very upfront, specific about my lifestyle and adopt clinical language. If the MD responds poorly, I make sure that the clinic is informed of his/her behaviour and that I will not be coming back and will be posting a review on some of the MD review websites. I have always favored gyn practices associated with large hospitals. Typically they have seem a lot of things and aren’t judgemental. Check out some of the MD review websites.