Oh, Scott Adams! Can you write anything about that whole man-woman business without being a creepy douche about it? In a recent blog post titled “Pegs and Holes” – which refers to exactly what you think it refers to — Adams offers his take on the powerful men who have been in the news lately because, as Adams puts it, they’ve been “tweeting, raping, cheating, and being offensive to just about everyone in the entire world.”
After noting that the “current view of such things is that the men are to blame for their own bad behavior” and that this “seems right” to him – gee, ya think? – Adams decides to get all philosophical on us. (When you’re Scott Adams, this is a very very bad idea.) He writes:
The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes. Whose fault is that? Do you blame the baby who didn’t ask to be born male? Or do you blame the society that brought him into the world, all round-pegged and turgid, and said, “Here’s your square hole”?
I’m assuming that Adams doesn’t actually think that baby boys are born with erections, and realizes that it is biology, not society, that hands out penises and vaginas to babies in the first place. I’m just trying to understand the whole pegs and holes metaphor. Why does he think “round” penises and “square” vaginas are somehow incompatible? In the context of consensual sex, after all, penises of all shapes and sizes generally fit into vaginas quite nicely.
As far as I can figure it out, the round-vs-square analogy simply refers to the fact that men can’t simply stick their “round pegs” into any conveniently located “hole” whenever they feel like it. The fact that these “holes” aren’t accessible to any random guy thus renders them “square.” This seems to frustrate Adams, who goes on to complain that “society has evolved to keep males in a state of continuous unfulfilled urges, more commonly known as unhappiness” and that “society is organized as a virtual prison for men’s natural desires.”
Looking at Hugh Hefner’s marital history – he’s been married and divorced and just got stood up at the altar – Adams concludes that:
For Hef, being single didn’t work, and getting married didn’t work, at least not in the long run. Society didn’t offer him a round hole for his round peg. All it offered were unlimited square holes.
What does this even mean? I suspect that over the course of his lifetime, Hef has had about all the sex he could possibly want, and then some. Is it somehow unjust that he couldn’t force his latest fiancée to actually marry him? Or that some women are sexually unavailable – that is, square holes – to him?
It goes without saying that Adams’ notions of human sexuality are profoundly insulting to both men and women . On the one hand, he’s suggesting that men are basically all potential rapists walking around with, er, turgid pegs; and, on the other, he seems to regard women as little more than passive (if stubbornly recalcitrant) receptacles for these male “pegs.”
And so it’s hardly surprising that his grand solution to the conundrum he’s invented is a rather depressing one. After noting that it really wouldn’t be a good thing for men to go around willy-nilly raping women and/or, as he puts it, tweeting their meat, he suggests the real solution is for men to be chemically castrated. And no, I’m not making that up. Here’s Scotty:
I think science will come up with a drug that keeps men chemically castrated for as long as they are on it. It sounds bad, but I suspect that if a man loses his urge for sex, he also doesn’t miss it. Men and women would also need a second drug that increases oxytocin levels in couples who want to bond. Copulation will become extinct. Men who want to reproduce will stop taking the castration drug for a week, fill a few jars with sperm for artificial insemination, and go back on the castration pill.
That might sound to you like a horrible world. But the oxytocin would make us a society of huggers, and no one would be treated as a sex object. You’d have no rape, fewer divorces, stronger friendships, and a lot of other advantages. I think that’s where we’re headed in a few generations.
Is he being serious here, or is this all some satirical “social experiment?” Who the fuck knows. Though I suspect if I accused him of being serious, he’d claim he was being satirical. And vice versa. Because that’s just the way he is.
Also, while I’m at it: the idiomatic expression about pegs and holes posits a square peg and a round hole, not the other way around. Why did Adams reverse this? Why!? Why!!?? Is he trying to drive us all mad?
EDITED TO ADD: Check out Feministe for more on Scott Adams and his peg.
EDITED AGAIN: And Pharyngula as well.
MRAL: I’m flattered, but for all that I’m poly, I’m straight, so I’ll have to decline. But it was a nice offer.
@Pecunium:
I know.. I really suck at these sorts of things sometimes…
Now i regret not explaining how mammoths have a 24 second reaction time which is why you have to get off your rock before that time xD
The peg/hole analogy bothers me. As long as the peg is smaller than the hole, it will fit regardless of the shape.
@Graham:
But but but… It’s not natural!
Well you and Jill have something in common then, MRAL!
…wow I’m feeling sarcastic today…
@unintentionalfeminist…”I wonder if it would interest Scott Adams to know that the belief that male sexuality is not inherently violent is actually pretty important to modern feminism.”
Are you joshin with the slave? Men are rapists thats all they are. Sometimes men can learn from being falsely accused….Your leaders! Holster that gun. Keep it in your pants. Holla back baby he was leering. Praise women for not being able to keep it in their pants. Hide that woody little boy; flaunt your sexuality little girls than mock the boys for not being able to control their sexuality. Stupid pigs can’t control themselves.
@Sarah…”Also, in a world where just men are chemically castrated, I pity the straight women. What kind of hell is that?”
Women always suffer disproportionally.
@unintentionalfeminist…”@Sarah
Although the rest of the women might get a little more action”
Teehee, thats funny.
@ Amused…”Another thing that positively mystifies me is the MRA belief that discouraging rape will make men less ambitious in the academics or whatever.”
Because ya know the default position of being a man is rape. (see baby rapist superbowl advert).
@darksidecat…”In addition, it is not clear that castration stops copulation, especially if done early.”
Castrate em young and indoctrinate em young thats the State motto. Feminism building a better world for you. Feminism where mens sexuality isn’t inherently evil.
@Lyle… “Yet, rape DOES happen. There is a % of men who are scum that do that”
Apparently there are a % of women that do that as well.
http://translate.google.com/translate?js=n&prev=_t&hl=sv&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&sl=sv&tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fgenusnytt.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F06%2F14%2Fkvinnliga-pedofiler-orsakar-barn-storre-skada%2F
But let’s keep that our little secret. Shhhhhh.
@David Futrelle…”Yeah, that “best writer” bit is just silly. Also, I’m not banned there; I was invited to guest post while Jill was out of town.”
C’mon Dave, one wrong word typed from your privileged, cis gendered, white skinned, male fingers and they’ll have you swinging from the highest yardarm.
@Ami Angelwings…”Also the issue about ppl pretending to be other ppl and being taken differently, is not that men are hated,”
Happy fathers day.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/16/pearlman.fathers.day/index.html?hpt=hp_bn9
Oh but it was written by a man right? More to the point it was written and promoted in the mainstream media by your faction. Feminism.
Have you lost you faith in men.
http://aww.ninemsn.com.au/family/relationships/8259378/have-you-lost-your-faith-in-men
Who hasn’t?
Christiane Amanpour and ABC news
http://www.expertclick.com/NewsReleaseWire/Blatant_AntiMale_Bigotry_OK_With_ABC_News,201136676.aspx
Lotsa good stuff on womens purity and inherent superiority in every way. Men just suck outright. As always, Ami feebly tries to wow us with her pseudo-intellect which you folks swallow like the legion of followers you are. She’s just so fair and wise. BAWHAWHAW. Save your lip service that adds up to the same value that falls from your narcissistic fingers as you type. Nothing. Handing someone a manure sandwich and calling it angus beef doesn’t really make it tasty. Now make excuses and mock me, because thats all you ever do.
It’s natural for humans to poop outdoors. I am now going to curl up in my room and cry because society has symbolically castrated me by not letting me take dumps on my neighbor’s lawn as my natural instincts demand. WHY DOES SOCIETY HATE THE HUMAN BUTT?
Slavey, you do realize it was Scott Adams who brought up the whole castration thing, right?
NWOSlave – will you STOP SAYING that we think “all men suck and all women are perfect”? How many times do we have to tell you NONE OF US THINK THAT. It is really tiresome to have to repeat it OVER and OVER and OVER and YOU NEVER GET IT.
Do YOU actually think that “all women suck and all men are perfect” and you’re just assuming we’re as twisted as you except with the genders reversed? I don’t get it.
You think butts have it bad, Shaenon? I’ll tell you what body part has it bad: hair.
It’s natural for humans to have filthy, matted, dreaded birds’ nests on the top of their heads. This provides an ideal level of warmth and protection to the skull, as well as a convenient habitat for lice, fleas, and the occasional bat.
But “society” has “dictated” that we must wash, comb, and/or otherwise groom our hair, thus depriving us of our God-given head warmth and making us wear the foul abomination known as the “hat”, incidentally depriving uncounted legions of innocent invertebrates their rightful homes. I don’t know how you all can sleep at night!
(not up to aMiRA standards, I know, but the best I can do XD)
I have no idea how that was a response to half of a sentence he cut out of my comment xD
I’m amused he slogged thru my writing tho XD He’s got a fixation w/ me lately xD
Also apparently I have a faction! This is like… Starcraft or something xDDD YOU REQUIRE MORE VAGINAL GAS MINE MORE GAS
I wanna be a Dark Templar! >:3
Hmm ok… so what would the 3 factions be? o_o
Terrans would obv be men/MRAs, b/c they have all the cool inventions and tech and science, and women wouldn’t be able to invent any of those xD
Zerg would be… feminists I guess? o_O We have a hive mind… we’re gross and mutate and stuff… we spawn in little pod eggs… um.. we can bury ourselves into the ground? xD Oh and we want to take over the galaxy! And we’re infectious and can control ppl! >:D Are trans ppl infested Terrans then? xD I guess I’d be Kerrigan! >:3
Protoss… would be… hrm… what would Protoss be? o_O Energy based humanoids w/ “magic” and tech based on crystals and psionic energy… honourable and noble… maybe they’re the white knights? o_O Except they’re the ancient enemy of the Zerg…. AND they were also the siblings of the Zerg… hrm… maybe they are the white knights… after we turn on them! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >:3
Or they’re something else xD Suggestions? :3
I actually think Protoss should be feminism cuz they have more heroes and it’d be hilarious xD But we have to be Zerg cuz we’re so evil and gross and stuff! XD
I know, slave! Where does that guy get off telling fathers to say “I love you” to their kids? Does he want to turn America’s boys into a bunch of candy-asses and its girls into a bunch co-dependent affection junkies? Real men don’t say “I love you.” They work all week, play golf on the weekends, and occasionally yell at their kids for striking out during Little League games. That’s how real men say “I love you!”
Oh, and they watch football. Lots of football. Why, I even let my son watch the game with me if he agrees to be quiet and not start whining about being hungry or having to go potty. Hey, it’s what good fathers do.
Of course, there are limits. I’m not going to miss the playoffs just because my kid has some stupid Kindergarten Christmas Pageant. I mean, WTF?!? Boys don’t belong in pageants! Luckily, the wife was willing to go so that I could watch the game in peace. I mean, Jesus, woman! Some things you shouldn’t even ask about.
Do YOU actually think that “all women suck and all men are perfect” and you’re just assuming we’re as twisted as you except with the genders reversed? I don’t get it.
Bingo.
Also, it’s natural to go around naked. Ergo, society’s unfair demand that I put on some pants is SYMBOLICALLY CASTRATING MY ENTIRE BODY.
A fellow — I’m sorry, excuse me — a mangina named Cerberus posted the following excellent response to Scott Adams’ rant over at Pharyngula. I thought I’d share it, since I think you’ll appreciate it.
Which buttresses my more succinct observation that if what Scott Adams said were really true, it’d be an excellent argument for starting the gender genocide that some MRAs seem to seriously fear. If men were really that violent and lacking in self-control, we wouldn’t just need chemical castration. We’d need to round them all up, lock them up, freeze their sperm, and kill about 90% of them.
A quote from Andrea Dworkin:
@unintentionalfeminist….”I wonder if it would interest Scott Adams to know that the belief that male sexuality is not inherently violent is actually pretty important to modern feminism.”
Puuuhlease, Men…Keep it in your pants, holster that thing. Women…Praise the slutwalkers for not being able to keep it in their pants, (blah, blah, blah thats not what it’s about boohoo). Adolecent girls dressing like hookers and being praised for it, while boys are shamed, hide that woody you pig. Learn to control youselves. Feminism giving the finger to all men.
@Sarah…”Also, in a world where just men are chemically castrated, I pity the straight women. What kind of hell is that?”
Thats cause women always suffer disproportionally, castrated men equals womens oppression.
@Amused…”Another thing that positively mystifies me is the MRA belief that discouraging rape will make men less ambitious in the academics or whatever.”
Well gee when fathers have their father/son chat, pro rape is the standard dialogue. Do ya really want to take away those special moments?
@Darksidecat….”In addition, it is not clear that castration stops copulation, especially if done early.”
My thinking exactly, if it’s done early it’s quite humane. Perhaps kindergarten would be a fine time, we could instruct them on why you should always respect girls while castrating them.
@Lyle…”Yet, rape DOES happen. There is a % of men who are scum that do that.”
Don’t worry we’ll keep the secret that women are blameless of this crime, shhhh.
http://translate.google.com/translate?js=n&prev=_t&hl=sv&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&sl=sv&tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fgenusnytt.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F06%2F14%2Fkvinnliga-pedofiler-orsakar-barn-storre-skada%2F
@David Futrelle….”Also, I’m not banned there; I was invited to guest post while Jill was out of town. ”
C’mon Dave, theres no doubt you’d write something that’d be construed as cis gendered white male privilege in spades.
@Ami Angelwings…”Also the issue about ppl pretending to be other ppl and being taken differently, is not that men are hated, or cis ppl can’t talk about video games when trans ppl are around”
With Ami it’s hard to know what to quote so I just went with part of the first sentence of her first paragraph. Her psuedo-psycho nonsense is little more than 10LBs of manure being stuffed into a 5LB sack as she rambles incoherently about some oppressor/oppressed privilege that will always be woman = oppressed. This pampered little princess who has never suffered a minor booboo without having it kissed better is somehow the vanguard of the oppressed class; having praise heaped upon her by her monolithic minded followers.
Women praised for aborting/not aborting. Women praised as mother/not mother. Women praised as slut/not slut. Women praised for working/homemaker. Women praised for calling men shit/not calling men shit. http://www.expertclick.com/NewsReleaseWire/Blatant_AntiMale_Bigotry_OK_With_ABC_News,201136676.aspx
Can you imagine the punishment for men saying shit like this in the mainstream media. Fired, vilified, ect. Bravery, courage; what do these have to do with modern day women? Nothing. Courage is a cheap commodity when there is no chance of punishment or retaliation. Gutless creatures.
Dworkin lived with a guy for many years and not once did she kill him. As far as I know.
Hey, NWO when did you go two hundred days without eating? Were the days consecutive?
Hey, on a side note tommorow is fathers day and your feminist mainstream media wants to give daddy a big hug.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/16/pearlman.fathers.day/index.html?hpt=hp_bn9
I know it’s a man saying these things. Thats your faction, a feminist minded man. Cause they rock. More fun with mainstream media.
Maybe you can get that shithead a hororwitz book about manning up, man child, or any ole book explaining his privilege and why he’s a POS. Nothing says love like a shit sandwich dressed up like angus beef.
Wow, being a father means more then just working 8-5 and not complaining when the wife buys food? Who knew?!
Ami, I think NWO has a little crush on you. He keeps pulling your pigtails and everything.
Yes Nobinayamu, that was 200 days in a row. Did it take a discussion of the great hive mind to figure out that is couldn’t have been 200 days in a row? Wiley E. Coyote…Supergenius.
You made a funny Nobinayamu. I’m sure all the gang will pat your head in total agreement at your rapier sharp wit.
Be sure to tell him PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth. Dear dad, you’re shit should cover it.