As SallyStrange has pointed out in the comments here, quite a few MRAs seem to have a bad case of “womb envy” – or, more specifically, “abortion envy.” That is, they envy the ability of women to abort fetuses that they – the guys, as sperm providers — have had a part in creating. And since they don’t get final say in whether or not the woman in the equation gets an abortion, many of these guys claim they should have the right to a “paper abortion” – that is, to wash their hands financially of the baby once it is born.
But for every MRA demanding their own right to an abortion, there’s another MRA who thinks abortion is an unmitigated evil, which in essence means that they think pregnant women should be forced to give birth to babies they don’t want. The guy behind The Life Zone evidently thinks this way. And so does one New Mexican pro-lifer named Greg Fultz, who has launched a bizarre campaign designed to shame the woman who aborted what he thinks of as “his” baby – the highlight of which is a giant billboard depicting him holding what looks like the blackened carcass of a baby under the headline “This Would Have Been a Picture Of My 2-Month Old Baby If The Mother Had Decided To NOT KILL Our Child!”
I’ve been meaning to write about the Fultz thing for some time, but haven’t, because frankly the whole thing makes me depressed. Over the past day or so three separate Man Boobz readers have brought the subject up, so I figure it’s time to deal with the subject. My solution? I’m going to punt, and rather than post about it specifically I’m just going to point you to an excellent, and nicely sarcastic, post on the subject from Jill on Feministe.
Since Jill wrote that post, Fultz has been ordered by a judge to take the billboard down or face jail; he says he won’t. Details here.
NOTE: I originally ended this post with a 1200 word dissertation spelling out my take on abortion. But reading it back over again I realized that many of the points I made in it had already been made, in many cases more deftly, by various commenters in yesterday’s 800-plus comment thread (which actually stayed on the topic for the first several hundred comments, until more or less everything that needed to be said on the subject had been said). The tl;dr summary: her body, her choice. “Paper abortions” only work if the government is willing to step in to make up for the loss of child support, and that isn’t going to happen in the US any time soon. (And I don’t see many MRAs calling for increased support for single moms.)
So instead of abortion, let’s talk about Fultz. What a dick.
Oh. so I’M not on moderation xD I guess it’s cuz it had the c- word in it? xD
The open thread can’t come fast enuf, I have a fashion question I want to ask ppl xD Or maybe I’ll wait until this dies down a bit, or goes off the rails xD It shouldn’t be long… The coming of NWO is nigh!
So, they go to the same college…!? That’s gotta be really stressful! I do hope she has filed a restraining order against this dude…. although, I’ve had two guys violate those orders and stalk me anyway-… I hope she’s got some good friends who can watch her back.
Also, as Holly said upthread, it’s completely normal for a man to feel sad or even hurt if his partner terminates a pregnancy he wanted to see come to term. Just like it’s normal to feel sad and hurt when your partner ends what you thought was a great relationship.
However, it oughta go without saying that as you can’t force someone to stay in a relationship with you EVEN IF you think your partner’s reasons for ending it are total bullshit, you can’t force hir to go through the physical, mental, and emotional ordeal that is pregnancy and birth (even wanted pregnancy and birth is incredibly difficult) just because you feel ready to parent. Even if you think hir reasons for aborting are bullshit, even if zie is a total selfish douchecanoe, the one with the uterus makes the decision.
I know this falls into the “No duh,” category, but it some posters seem to have trouble with simple concepts.
Ami, yeah, the comment was filtered for the c-word. It’s up now. (The c-word is allowed so long as it’s not directed at someone.)
Ami – one that goes to work while the other vaginas are still picketing?
That totally made me LOL!
@Seraph, yeah, my father was one of those who pressured his wife not to have abortions when unplanned pregnancies occured (including blackmailing her by threatening to tell her Catholic mother on whom she relied for support), and who sabatoged birth control. Of course, he was a crap parent who put in minimal effort. My mother had no formal custody agreement and would let us go over any weekend (her one longstanding rule has been that the younger two were not allowed to go without one of us older two to supervise-because my father couldn’t be trusted with supervising a hampster, let alone a small child), though we went about three times a year at most, because he did not want to spend time with us. He paid little to no child support either. Now, he only shows up when he wants money or a place to stay. I am so glad he is in jail (for DUIs and reckless endangerment) instead of sucking money from my sister, taking it out of her and her kid’s mouths to spend on drugs and booze. You know, that if my mother had an abortion instead, he would have been the one whining about “his aborted baby”, the same baby he would be perfectly content to let starve to death. He “wanted” that baby enough to fuck with my mother’s birth control, but so little that my sister and I put in the day to day work of raising her, for the most part, and we paid far more of her expenses. When I was sixteen, he sat in his girlfriends house and got high and I went to work to help support myself and my little sister. These men do not want kids in reality, they only want kids in the abstract where someone else is fucking raising them.
@MRAL, women who have babies the sperm provider did not want almost alwasy end up raising the kid themselves. If not, a female relative generally does. Over here in reality, women and girls generally raise both wanted and unwanted children. I have seen girls have babies their boyfriends wanted nothing to do with-those girls end up raising the baby alone, that is what happens. Unwilling “fathers” pay some money, but they are not forced to put in the actual labor of raising a kid.
Please ask.
This just gets sadder and sadder. As if a person using a billboard to harass his ex-girlfriend somehow wasn’t sad enough in the first place. Apparently, he TOLD her that he wasn’t able to have children. And then she got pregnant. Which — okay, look. It’s entirely possible that he thought that he wasn’t able to have children, and that he was mistaken. That happens. But along with the threatening, violent tweets, where he fantasizes about her death, and the ongoing harassment of her and her friends, it at least makes me wonder if this isn’t a situation where he was trying to trick her into getting pregnancy — and, knowing her anti-abortion stance, was hoping to coerce her into a lifelong relationship.
Again, I don’t know. But it seems possible.
somebody once called me a cuntscab which I thought was hilarious cuz is that like what clots over a wound on a cunt, or one that goes to work while the other vaginas are still picketing?
Lol, we just watched Newsies last night so that’s what I thought of. Vaginas selling papers. And yes, I’m starting to agree we need a forum.
Actually, reading this thread, along with the responses to Nani’s question, is pretty heartbreaking.
What a loathsome piece of shit Fultz is.
http://www.garage.ca/product/index.jsp?productId=11131012&colorId=1134297
Okay so this thing
I’m in love w/ it but I can’t decide if I should get navy blue or grey xD (the navy isn’t on the site for some reason, but it is in the store)
http://www.garage.ca/product/index.jsp?productId=10793722&colorId=1134269
Navy like that
I have bleached blonde hair (which I will fix up this summer) if that helps, and if nebody needs a body shot I can provide that too xD I just can’t decide… cuz the grey is softer, but I dun wear much grey… and I worry it doesn’t look good w/ skin tone (prolly why I dun wear much grey xD )…
w/ MY skin tone (which is pretty naturally tan, and even darker in the summer, it’s my southern Chinese side xD )
@Doctress Julia did you read my comments last night? : Would you be open for a paypal thing or something where ppl could donate money to help you? Or would that make you uncomfortable… or about if I could find somebody who could give you a couch to crash on in your area (I dunno if I can, but I know many ppl and they know many ppl xD )? : Your situation sounds rly bad and I want to help if I can 😐
Alright, so, I took pictures of my sangria. Which came to 4 gallons. And also my citronella beer bottle “torches”, which I think are hilarious. Pictures here if you care: http://www.flickr.com/photos/47990454@N06/
But yeah, I don’t understand why it’s so hard to get these people (MRA’s) to agree that this dude is, yes, a dude, and just a shitty person. What part of harassment, attempted coercion, and just general shit-bag-itude is EVER ok?
I generally prefer vivid colours in women’s clothing. I’d go with the navy blue over the grey.
filetofswedishfish – your cat’s toe floof! It’s so cute! And floofy!
Ami – I second Spearhafoc, I like the navy blue better.
Ami!!!!! It keeps kicking me to the home page. Can you describe it, and I’ll see if I can find it on the site? I have crap taste in clothes, but I like to vote on things.
“my sangria. Which came to 4 gallons”
Are you sure that’s enough??? Good thing I’m not coming. Looks delish!
Ami!!!!! Sorry. I found it. I searched on the number. The stripey pocket tee? I agree with everyone else. I think maybe with blonde hair the light grey would be too washed out? Go navy!
My guess? Siege mentality. Women are their enemies, so they must side with any man against any woman in any situation, or they’re giving aid and comfort to The Enemy.
Sort of like how they see all rights as zero-sum, where anything that helps women, by necessity, hurts men.
I too am in awe of swedishfish’s cat’s toe hawks.
The really long toe-hawk belong to my mother’s cats. My cat is the mini-panther what shows his belly a lot. Also, I have that confused looking pit puppy. But thanks, guys! They were my kitties when I still lived with ma!
Also: Bee: For a guest list of 30+? Gee I hope so, but we’re telling people sorta BYO-Hard Liquor, and getting a keg. So. Maybe there will be enough for enough to drink their faces off? Tomorrow we pick up the pig! 50 pounder, and I get to marinate/pre-season it and so forth. So much pork!
I don’t know Ami, I would go for the grey I think that would look nice with your hair. Especially because the stripes are so big, and you are not a sailor (as far as I know). But actually, go with whatever color you feel most comfortable in.