Three young women wake up, confused and terrified, in a room that looks like a cross between a normal hospital room and the creepy underground lair of some mad scientist from a horror movie. A video screen flickers on and a creepy older man, looking a bit like Academy-award-nominee Robert Loggia, appears on it, telling the women that he’s their “jailer.” The women, you see, had all been getting abortions when their jailer’s shadowy accomplices kidnapped them and brought them to this strange prison, where they will be forced to live for the next seven months until they gave birth. “You were all on the operating table, all ready to commit murder,” announces a mysterious doctor. “Your babies will be given life just as God planned.”
This is the premise of a new horror film called The Life Zone, which recently had its world premiere at the prestigious, er, Hoboken International Film Festival, a festival that was, perhaps not coincidentally, founded and chaired by the film’s writer and producer, Kenneth del Vecchio. In case you think I’m making all this up, here’s the film’s trailer, which makes The Life Zone look a bit like an equal-parts mixture of Saw, Human Centipede, and The Handmaid’s Tale, with Robert Loggia in the role of Jigsaw/Dr. Heiter/The Commander:
Now, if you thought that something seemed really … off about that trailer, well, you’re not alone. For the film is not, as you might have assumed from my description, a warning against the fanatical misogyny of many in the anti-abortion movement.
No, the film – produced by a pro-life former judge, crime thriller author, and Republican New Jersey state senate candidate – is meant as pro-life propaganda. As the offical press release for the film’s premiere put it:
The film, which appears to cut right down the middle [of the abortion debate], examining the topic from both sides, offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist. Del Vecchio and the cast invite pro-lifers to come to this historic event.
During the months the three women are held in captivity, you see, they are exposed to a barrage of films and books intended to, er, educate them about abortion –what their attending obstetrician Dr. Wise describes as “an abortion think tank.” Two of the captive women do indeed convert to the pro-life side; apparently we in the audience are supposed to develop Stockholm Syndrome along with them. The third, as we see in the trailer, tries to induce a miscarriage, which doesn’t go quite as planned.
And this sets us up for the final twist, which I’m just going to go ahead and reveal: once all three women have given birth, Dr. Wise tells them she’s going to sew them all, mouth-to-vagina, into a Human Abortion-pede!
Actually no: the twist is that the “life zone” the three women in has actually been … purgatory! All three “captives,” you see, had died on the operating table while getting their abortions. (Apparently they went to the world’s worst abortion clinic, as first-trimester abortions don’t involve anything more surgically invasive than the insertion of a suction tube; the risk of death from a legal surgical abortion is 0.0006%, one in 160,000 cases, making the procedure many times safer than childbirth itself.) Their time in the “life zone” was a test: the two women who changed their minds were whisked up to heaven, while their miscarriage-attempting, stubbornly pro-choice companion is sent straight to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks. Dr. Wise, despite being on the right side of the abortion question, also goes to hell for committing suicide. And, oh yeah, their jailer – Loggia – was Satan. Why Satan and a hell-bound doctor were the ones trying to convert the abortion ladies to the pro-life side I can’t tell you; del Vecchio’s theology is evidently more sophisticated than I am.
The real twist here? As Jersey Journal writer Alan Robb notes:
The Life Zone went viral across the internet [last] Friday after blogs The Frisky and Talking Points Memo picked up on the film’s trailer. … But despite garnering more than 20,000 hits on YouTube in the last four days, only fifty people – including the film’s cast and producers – attended this weekend’s screening, and even those who starred in the movie didn’t know how to interpret its twist ending.
It’s impossible to tell from the trailer if the film is bad in a so-bad-it’s-good way, or if it’s just plain awful. I will try to get hold of it when it hits video, and will report back with my results.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good horror film set in a creepy hospital, try renting Infection, a Japanese film from 2005. Or, if you’ve got a longer attention span, try Lars Von Trier’s supernatural soap opera The Kingdom, a darkly comic miniseries which takes place in what one might call, paraphrasing Bill Murray’s character in Tootsie, “one nutty hospital.” Both are conveniently available on Netflix instant watch, so you don’t even have to leave your pregnancy dungeon to see them.
EDITED: Added some info on the minimal dangers of abortion procedures.
Naw. I’m really tall, and my fingers are TINY. But I make good use of them! *waggles eyebrows*
Did he write anything about walleyes?
I have long fingers with broad, well-defined nails. I am master of all I survey.
True fact: Fred Astaire thought his fingers were too long, so he always danced with his middle fingers folded up.
I have small hands with slender fingers.
And you know what they say about a guy with small hands: they say —
Oh wait…
But seriously though: I’m hung like a chipmunk.
MRAL – Like we were saying last night, therapy could really help you cope with your, uh, disadvantages. It’s a safe place to talk that won’t call you an asshole. And while you’re a student, it’s free or cheap!
Think of it this way: people who have serious deformities, like they’re missing a limb or they have huge burn scars, often go to therapy, not because it’ll fix the deformity but because it’ll help them live with it. If you feel you’re deformed, maybe you could benefit from some of the same processes.
http://www.bu.edu/shs/behavioral/index.shtml
You can call 617-353-3569 to make an appointment and like all counseling, it’s entirely confidential.
Unreal.
David, I don’t want to tell you how to run your site, but maybe you should consider moderating for relevance? I know you can’t moderate for arguing in bad faith, because then the MRA’s would disappear entirely and we’d have nothing to push us to our argumentative best, but did we really need another thread about MRAL’s (perfectly normal) height, eye, violent fantasies and assorted other problems? He has no intention of following anyone’s advice, and he has no appreciation whatsoever for the kindness he’s shown. His problems are just his excuse to have no empathy whatsoever for the suffering of others.
I’m fine with arguing with incorrigibles. Education the lurkers has its own value. But that education should be at least kinda related to the topic at hand.
NWOSlave is a vile, disgusting human being, but at least the keyboard diarrhea he calls “posts” allowed us to say important things about the topic at hand.
(Of course, maybe it’s my – pay attention, MRAL – male privilege that allows me to say that; it wasn’t me he was talking about torturing and imprisoning for trying to control my own body. I can see why that would be a lot more disturbing to some than MRAL’s endless, repetitive whining.)
I actually did make an appointment this morning. Set it for June 26th. Since as I’ve said, I’m not in Boston for a few weeks, I can’t meet any sooner. I don’t mind so much in my hometown, though, I’m more comfortable.
But also, I want to get feminists’ opinions on Hugo Schwyzer. Does he come off like a smug arrogant privileged ass to anyone else?
Seraph – The thing is, NWOslave strikes us as a hopeless case–you can’t even talk to him–but MRAL is young and somewhat (very slightly) responsive. Even if he’s 90% “FUCKING ALPHAS FUCKING BITCHES”, the other 10% kinda tugs at the heartstrings.
There’s actual pain there, and as heartless feminists who only want to see men fail… we kinda started rooting for this kid in a weird way. He seems like he’s at a fork in his life, a point where he could either turn into NWO and go live in a cave spouting MRA talking points and driving away all other humans forever, or he could actually grow into a happier person. Gets to ya, man.
That’s great, MRAL. Seriously awesome. Obviously you have no obligation to tell anyone here how it goes but I’m quite honestly happy for you.
Also, Hugo Schwyzer is privileged in many ways (although I don’t know how long his fingers are), and I don’t think he would deny it. But he’s using that privilege to advocate for others, not purely to build himself up. It’s not evil to have privilege; only to use it to hurt others.
I think I will report back here and let people know some details, because it was some people here that encouraged this, for better or worse. Once I get to Boston I plan on trying to get more involved so I’ll probably stop commenting regularly. But I’ll be sure to drop back in at some point.
Yay! MRAL! I’m so happy for you taking that first step! I know it’s scary, but it can bring great things! =D
It’s not that he’s privileged per se, really, it’s [COMMENT REDACTED –DF] I can’t even describe it. He even makes good posts sometimes as I’ve said, but something about his smug little fucking attitude turns me off so fucking much.
Enh, I think the pain should still be on topic. So I’m with Seraph on this. Maybe David can make a special heightism post as a present to MRAL one of these days and we can discuss it until the cows come home and then NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!!!
MRAL – Congrats on making an appointment! I hope it goes well for you.
Seraph – I agree with Holly. There is just something about MRAL (maybe it is the sometimes rethinking his ideas when confronted with evidence/arguments contrary to what he thinks or possibly the fact that I think he is honestly in pain) that just makes him hard for me to ignore. My boyfriend calls me a mother hen and says I always want to fix what is wrong with others…this might be another one of those instances. I guess I can just see good in him and am hopeful that the college experience will help him grow (specifically, grow away from the MRA movement and toward people who honestly want to see his life improve). Now, I don’t think every post should be about him and his problems, but I do think he usually posts something about himself that is relevant to the topic…it just spirals from there. Anyway, occasionally threads go off on all sorts of random tangents (survival skills in the apocolypse, for instance)…just the nature of the page I guess.
MRAL, that’s good to hear. I hope it helps. Just don’t expect instant results, okay?
Well, I don’t really expect results, because I still think my problems are immutable. But hey, I decided with so many people giving me the advice, it’s worth a shot.
It’s all about dealing with immutable problems. The state of your body is immutable; the way you cope with it is not.
MRAL – your height/eye issues are immutable. They way you think of them or the way you perceive how others perceive you is not. That is where therapy can help. Hopefully it will!
Look at this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHEQtp1ozVA
That smug self-loathing misandric mangina. I hate him.
Amnesia, Kes: Me and Sarah were kicking around *very* tentative plans of meeting during Pride. If you wanna join in, email me.
Huh, I just have been looking into SlutWalk in the past few minutes, and I think it’s a good idea. If they had one in Boston I might attend. Too bad Hugo the asshole had to be involved with one.
I don’t get “smug.” And I really don’t get “self-loathing.” He’s saying that the idea of men as too weak to control themselves is a myth–that sounds awfully pro-male to me.