Three young women wake up, confused and terrified, in a room that looks like a cross between a normal hospital room and the creepy underground lair of some mad scientist from a horror movie. A video screen flickers on and a creepy older man, looking a bit like Academy-award-nominee Robert Loggia, appears on it, telling the women that he’s their “jailer.” The women, you see, had all been getting abortions when their jailer’s shadowy accomplices kidnapped them and brought them to this strange prison, where they will be forced to live for the next seven months until they gave birth. “You were all on the operating table, all ready to commit murder,” announces a mysterious doctor. “Your babies will be given life just as God planned.”
This is the premise of a new horror film called The Life Zone, which recently had its world premiere at the prestigious, er, Hoboken International Film Festival, a festival that was, perhaps not coincidentally, founded and chaired by the film’s writer and producer, Kenneth del Vecchio. In case you think I’m making all this up, here’s the film’s trailer, which makes The Life Zone look a bit like an equal-parts mixture of Saw, Human Centipede, and The Handmaid’s Tale, with Robert Loggia in the role of Jigsaw/Dr. Heiter/The Commander:
Now, if you thought that something seemed really … off about that trailer, well, you’re not alone. For the film is not, as you might have assumed from my description, a warning against the fanatical misogyny of many in the anti-abortion movement.
No, the film – produced by a pro-life former judge, crime thriller author, and Republican New Jersey state senate candidate – is meant as pro-life propaganda. As the offical press release for the film’s premiere put it:
The film, which appears to cut right down the middle [of the abortion debate], examining the topic from both sides, offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist. Del Vecchio and the cast invite pro-lifers to come to this historic event.
During the months the three women are held in captivity, you see, they are exposed to a barrage of films and books intended to, er, educate them about abortion –what their attending obstetrician Dr. Wise describes as “an abortion think tank.” Two of the captive women do indeed convert to the pro-life side; apparently we in the audience are supposed to develop Stockholm Syndrome along with them. The third, as we see in the trailer, tries to induce a miscarriage, which doesn’t go quite as planned.
And this sets us up for the final twist, which I’m just going to go ahead and reveal: once all three women have given birth, Dr. Wise tells them she’s going to sew them all, mouth-to-vagina, into a Human Abortion-pede!
Actually no: the twist is that the “life zone” the three women in has actually been … purgatory! All three “captives,” you see, had died on the operating table while getting their abortions. (Apparently they went to the world’s worst abortion clinic, as first-trimester abortions don’t involve anything more surgically invasive than the insertion of a suction tube; the risk of death from a legal surgical abortion is 0.0006%, one in 160,000 cases, making the procedure many times safer than childbirth itself.) Their time in the “life zone” was a test: the two women who changed their minds were whisked up to heaven, while their miscarriage-attempting, stubbornly pro-choice companion is sent straight to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks. Dr. Wise, despite being on the right side of the abortion question, also goes to hell for committing suicide. And, oh yeah, their jailer – Loggia – was Satan. Why Satan and a hell-bound doctor were the ones trying to convert the abortion ladies to the pro-life side I can’t tell you; del Vecchio’s theology is evidently more sophisticated than I am.
The real twist here? As Jersey Journal writer Alan Robb notes:
The Life Zone went viral across the internet [last] Friday after blogs The Frisky and Talking Points Memo picked up on the film’s trailer. … But despite garnering more than 20,000 hits on YouTube in the last four days, only fifty people – including the film’s cast and producers – attended this weekend’s screening, and even those who starred in the movie didn’t know how to interpret its twist ending.
It’s impossible to tell from the trailer if the film is bad in a so-bad-it’s-good way, or if it’s just plain awful. I will try to get hold of it when it hits video, and will report back with my results.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good horror film set in a creepy hospital, try renting Infection, a Japanese film from 2005. Or, if you’ve got a longer attention span, try Lars Von Trier’s supernatural soap opera The Kingdom, a darkly comic miniseries which takes place in what one might call, paraphrasing Bill Murray’s character in Tootsie, “one nutty hospital.” Both are conveniently available on Netflix instant watch, so you don’t even have to leave your pregnancy dungeon to see them.
EDITED: Added some info on the minimal dangers of abortion procedures.
I think war is a men’s issue and any female politicians should be made to sit out any and all discussions about war, because lol it is thoroughly men’s and penis haver’s issue. This of course means no woman can be President of the US, because the President is the Commander in Chief of the US armed forces.
“Then today I get a message from him saying that he dosen’t want to see me anymore because I seduced him and pushed him too hard past his boundaries! ”
Ha! What a loser.
MRAL, the fetus is a living thing. Sperm cells are alive. Egg cells are alive. When they combine they make a blastocyst, which is also alive. Then it turns into an embryo, which is alive. The embryo eventually becomes a fetus, which is — you guessed it! — ALIVE!! That’s why, when a woman gives birth, she gives birth to a baby which is alive, not a stillborn child.
If, when you say “alive,” you really mean something like, “sentient,” or “a person,” then for fuck’s sake use the words that we already have to mean those things! Don’t fucking complain when people interpret the word “alive” to mean “living”. Because that’s what that word means, and that’s why it applies to people as well as bacteria, and that’s why saying “the fetus is not alive” is a FALSE STATEMENT. Are you going to fuck off already or did you start missing the abuse, MRAL? Seriously, get a therapist or a dom or something. Pathetic fuckwit.
Sarah, it sucks that that guy pretty much used you. But at least you didn’t waste more than one night on a manipulative, weak-willed asshole.
That’s it– I’m only having sex with women from now on. Thanks, “The Life Zone”!
MRAL – We would like more women in the military, actually. It’s certainly not a physical limitation as absolute as whether you have a uterus.
And yeah, everyone’s opinion matters (although not every opinion is equally ethical, moral, or correct), and that’s why we’re speaking ours.
Sarah – Wow, what a jerk. Sounds like there’s an ugly double-standard “She should have known that it was a test, not a real proposition!” game going on there.
“Guys, I don’t mean “alive” as in the vein of “bacteria” or “cells”. Stop with the trolling, please.”
Yes, GUYS, clearly Mr. Al meant “alive” as in rocks and paper clips. Please stop with this foolishness of giving words their correct definitions.
A good substantive comment by Kes got held in moderation; it’s up now, and worth scrolling up to read.
Buffybot, I’ve seen that Masters of Horror “Pro Life” episode. It’s ok; not great, but sort of interesting and not the worst way to spend an hour. But that wikipedia entry for it is TERRIBLE! It gives away the big plot twist in the first sentence! Boo!
Also, I’m going to add a little bit to the piece about how obviously ridiculous them dying on the “operating table” was.
I didn’t realize that it requires a penis to pick up a gun or drive a tank. What do they have special penis attachments that won’t allow the equipment to operate until you insert your dick into slot A?
War is a men’s issue? Yeah, that sounds reasonable. Cause women never fight and die in wars, amirite? Women are never held as sex-slaves of occupying armies. Women are never victims of famine and disease that occur as a direct result of armed conflict. Women are absolutely never caught in battle when armies fight near or on their homes. Yes, we all know THIS NEVER HAPPENS.
Fuckwit.
Honestly tho, I always hate getting bogged down on all the mind reading of whether ppl truly know what they’re doing, know what they want (do they rly? rly rly rly? how about super duper extra rly!? how can we truly know that they rly know know?), are crying and sobbing enough as they make a difficult decision (not enough tears! You don’t truly want it!), etc etc… which are all real exps and feelings and important things to each individual and counters to all the stuff the anti-choicers say… BUT, ultimately it’s about body autonomy to me and the rights of ppl to their own body (and ppl should know another reason why that’s so important to me by now xD ) :3
“I think war is a men’s issue and any female politicians should be made to sit out any and all discussions about war, because lol it is thoroughly men’s and penis haver’s issue. This of course means no woman can be President of the US, because the President is the Commander in Chief of the US armed forces.”
Not a fair comparision. Women can fight in a war. And they certainly die in wars. Like Holly I think there should be more gender parity in the military.
I’m not talking about completely denying men’s opinions on the issue. And if a competent, understanding man wanted to be in charge of, say, Planned Parenthood, that’d probably be cool. But, honestly, when a cis-gendered man starts telling me what women should be feeling in regards to their own abortions? That makes me mad.
And thanks for the support everyone! It’s just nice to hear back that he’s a jerk and I’m not imagining it.
Let me reiterate again that I am pro-choice, I just think the fymynysts handle the issue poorly.
Oh, please, enlighten us – if you were in charge of the pro-choice movement, how would YOU handle it?
And the only reason women aren’t more involved in war is because men don’t want to let them in the army. Women aren’t actively trying to keep men from getting pregnant and carrying a child to term – if a dude can get knocked up, and wants to get knocked up, go for it!
Also, you don’t get to sit in judgment as to whether or not a woman has a ‘good’ reason for getting an abortion. It’s her body, it’s her choice, and it’s none of your goddamn business what she does with her body. Women don’t have to justify their choices to you or anyone else, whether it’s an abortion, who they date or what career they want to pursue.
I personally am constantly encouraging people — anyone, really, but especially pro-lifers and guys who think it’s unfair that women an extra decision point about reproduction (I.e., “if I can’t tell her to get an abortion then I won’t pay child support”) — to develop either an artificial uterus or a means to implant a fetus in a cis man’s body. Preferably both.
My kingdom for a time machine and a good camera rig. I could just go to pre-Roe times, walk around entire hospital wings (or homes for “wayward girls”), return to the future and voila! A ready-made torture porn movie fit for public consumption. No special effects, actors or writing staff required!
Bad taste humor, but it’s the truth.
Also, MRAL, I too hate the term “anti-choice”.
I much prefer the term “pro-rape.” Just as accurate, two-thirds the syllables.
@SallyStrange, Exactly! This is the one true biological inequity that no one can argue about. Cis-men can’t bear babies. And that kind of sucks, and maybe technology will change that in the future. But for now, we have to work with it! And find some kind of solution that’s fair to everybody.
Johnnykaje – “Pro-rape” is going a bit too far. I’d say more like “Pro- a world in which everyone is monogamous, heterosexual, and chaste till marriage, and all women are dedicated housewives and willing to mother as many children as come down the pike, and there is no divorce, and the husband always makes enough to support as many children as come down the pike.”
Or more specifically, “Pro- pretending we live in that world already, all evidence to the contrary be damned.”
Whatever. If there was an issue that affected men and not women (prison rape, maybe? I don’t know) you can bet your fucking ass the feminist assholes would be all over it, and any attempt to say “hey, this isn’t your issue”, would cause a verbal nuclear explosion. Fucking hypocrite fucks. Again, much as you’d like to make my opinion on abortion invalid, it’s not and is worth as much as yours in an equal society, as opposed to the aforementioned feminist thought police female supremacist fascist Hitler Nazi state that Sarah proposes.
Confidential to anon: I can’t let that comment of yours through due to the language. I do appreciate the link. email me for more details.
MRAL – Why don’t you want feminists to be all over prison rape? We’re against it. Seems like every hand helping there is a good thing.
Another point I should make- as I’ve said, I’m pro-choice, which entails choice for everyone, not just women. This means I am in favor of the very noble Choice for Men, which is a major hot-button issue in the MRA community. A lot of feminist hypocrites show their TRUE hypocritical and female supremacist colors when it comes to this issue.
Women get raped in prison, too.
And you’re right, I suppose – you get to have an opinion. But the rest of us get to have the opinion that your opinion sucks, and further opinions of our own as to your moral character.
I’m actually quite interested in your opinion on this, MRAL: If YOU were in charge of the pro-life movement, how would you do things differently?
Well Holly, the point is that any attempt to say women’s opinions are less valid would cause a major issue in the mainstream (ie, feminist) media.
Ooh, more MRAL-kicking to be done!
So, you’re so stupid (and possibly flustered from being attacked so fiercely, good!) that you can’t even think of ONE legitimate issue that affect only people with biological man-parts?? I’ve got a few for you: prostate cancer. Male birth control pills. Male fertility issues. Prison rape? Not really, prison just happens to be the one area where men are raped at about the same rate as women are raped. Either way, more power to you if you want to devote your life to making men’s lives better by working on those issues.
Nope. As you can see, you’re completely wrong about that. As usual.
“Your opinion about abortion is invalid.” Does my saying that magically conjure up brown-shirted goose-stepping feminists? No? Shucks. Let me know if they do show up.