Three young women wake up, confused and terrified, in a room that looks like a cross between a normal hospital room and the creepy underground lair of some mad scientist from a horror movie. A video screen flickers on and a creepy older man, looking a bit like Academy-award-nominee Robert Loggia, appears on it, telling the women that he’s their “jailer.” The women, you see, had all been getting abortions when their jailer’s shadowy accomplices kidnapped them and brought them to this strange prison, where they will be forced to live for the next seven months until they gave birth. “You were all on the operating table, all ready to commit murder,” announces a mysterious doctor. “Your babies will be given life just as God planned.”
This is the premise of a new horror film called The Life Zone, which recently had its world premiere at the prestigious, er, Hoboken International Film Festival, a festival that was, perhaps not coincidentally, founded and chaired by the film’s writer and producer, Kenneth del Vecchio. In case you think I’m making all this up, here’s the film’s trailer, which makes The Life Zone look a bit like an equal-parts mixture of Saw, Human Centipede, and The Handmaid’s Tale, with Robert Loggia in the role of Jigsaw/Dr. Heiter/The Commander:
Now, if you thought that something seemed really … off about that trailer, well, you’re not alone. For the film is not, as you might have assumed from my description, a warning against the fanatical misogyny of many in the anti-abortion movement.
No, the film – produced by a pro-life former judge, crime thriller author, and Republican New Jersey state senate candidate – is meant as pro-life propaganda. As the offical press release for the film’s premiere put it:
The film, which appears to cut right down the middle [of the abortion debate], examining the topic from both sides, offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist. Del Vecchio and the cast invite pro-lifers to come to this historic event.
During the months the three women are held in captivity, you see, they are exposed to a barrage of films and books intended to, er, educate them about abortion –what their attending obstetrician Dr. Wise describes as “an abortion think tank.” Two of the captive women do indeed convert to the pro-life side; apparently we in the audience are supposed to develop Stockholm Syndrome along with them. The third, as we see in the trailer, tries to induce a miscarriage, which doesn’t go quite as planned.
And this sets us up for the final twist, which I’m just going to go ahead and reveal: once all three women have given birth, Dr. Wise tells them she’s going to sew them all, mouth-to-vagina, into a Human Abortion-pede!
Actually no: the twist is that the “life zone” the three women in has actually been … purgatory! All three “captives,” you see, had died on the operating table while getting their abortions. (Apparently they went to the world’s worst abortion clinic, as first-trimester abortions don’t involve anything more surgically invasive than the insertion of a suction tube; the risk of death from a legal surgical abortion is 0.0006%, one in 160,000 cases, making the procedure many times safer than childbirth itself.) Their time in the “life zone” was a test: the two women who changed their minds were whisked up to heaven, while their miscarriage-attempting, stubbornly pro-choice companion is sent straight to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks. Dr. Wise, despite being on the right side of the abortion question, also goes to hell for committing suicide. And, oh yeah, their jailer – Loggia – was Satan. Why Satan and a hell-bound doctor were the ones trying to convert the abortion ladies to the pro-life side I can’t tell you; del Vecchio’s theology is evidently more sophisticated than I am.
The real twist here? As Jersey Journal writer Alan Robb notes:
The Life Zone went viral across the internet [last] Friday after blogs The Frisky and Talking Points Memo picked up on the film’s trailer. … But despite garnering more than 20,000 hits on YouTube in the last four days, only fifty people – including the film’s cast and producers – attended this weekend’s screening, and even those who starred in the movie didn’t know how to interpret its twist ending.
It’s impossible to tell from the trailer if the film is bad in a so-bad-it’s-good way, or if it’s just plain awful. I will try to get hold of it when it hits video, and will report back with my results.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good horror film set in a creepy hospital, try renting Infection, a Japanese film from 2005. Or, if you’ve got a longer attention span, try Lars Von Trier’s supernatural soap opera The Kingdom, a darkly comic miniseries which takes place in what one might call, paraphrasing Bill Murray’s character in Tootsie, “one nutty hospital.” Both are conveniently available on Netflix instant watch, so you don’t even have to leave your pregnancy dungeon to see them.
EDITED: Added some info on the minimal dangers of abortion procedures.
Is that guy’s kid entitled to think that his or her emotionally unavailable father is a dipshit? I also think emotionally unavailable mothers are dipshits, too.
And that’s okay if you think I’m a dipshit, MRAL. I think things way worse about you. And, in fact, if dipshits think that I’m a bad person, I’m probably actually doing something right.
A child is entitled to whatever is in their best interests, which sometimes means no parents and foster care.
“To be honest, as someone who had one good parent and one horrible one, I’m with MRAL–if someone doesn’t want to be involved, sometimes staying away is the best thing they can do for the kid. It’s not the best thing, but honestly, if they’re still giving financial support and not doing anything to screw with the kid and custodial parent, sometimes it’s not the worst thing.”
Yes. That. I think that having one bad parent and one good parent has far more potential to do damage than just one good parent.
But again, the moral of the story is really contraception contraception contraception.
“I think I turned out pretty well morally, intellectually and physically, to the extent that was possible given my many disadvantages granted genetically by an asshole God.”
What are they? Honestly. You are of average height. You claim to be of above average intelligence. YOUR EYE LOOKS FINE!
Pray-tell, what sucks so bad about your life? A chronic pain disorder? Severe Autism? Please! Elucidate me on your many genetic disadvantages!
Feminism is alike to the Nazis in that they are two movements, two widespread (at one point) movements that advocate an essentially fascist wordview and seek to make everyone alike (Nazis physically, feminists mentally). They both also want thought police. That’s all.
theLaplaceDemon, Sometimes contraception fails! This is important to keep in mind.
You know that invoking Nazism also invokes the murder of millions if people, mostly Jews? You are aware of that, right? And comparing things to Nazis that aren’t on par with genocide is pretty gross. You are aware, right? Right?
QFT
With the corollary that a fetus, being incapable of surviving without continual donations of blood, organs, and nutrients from its mother, is entitled to exactly as much blood, organs, and nutrients as the mother is willing to give.
Also, communication communication communication! Contraception does fail sometimes, so if you’re really determined to be a deadbeat dad, or morally opposed to abortion, or whatever it is, you should communicate that to your partner so she can make an informed choice about who she’s fucking.
MRAL…
You keep using this word, “fascist.” I do not think it means what you think it means.
MRAL – All I’m getting there is that Nazis were a movement that wanted to change some stuff and feminists are a movement that wants to change some stuff. I, uh, yeah.
I actually (apologies for shameless self-promotion) wrote a thing about “feminism wants everyone to be alike”: http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2011/03/gray-coveralls.html
Feminism is alike to the Nazis in that they are two movements, two widespread (at one point) movements that advocate an essentially fascist wordview and seek to make everyone alike (Nazis physically, feminists mentally). They both also want thought police. That’s all.
Citation needed.
I think most people who post on this blog are going to agree that one good parent is better than having one good parent and one bad parent. I’m not arguing against that. But, honestly, there are a lot of lazy fucking people -mothers and fathers- who’d rather just write the check and pretend their child doesn’t exist. And when you run into them out in the world it’s hard not to feel like you need a shower after dealing with them.
And please understand, I’m not talking about people who are doing the best they can and don’t deserve to be judged for not being able to live in close proximity or afford to pay lots of money. And there are absolutely people who are being prevented from being as much a part of their child’s life as they’d like to by an intractable custodial parent. I’ve seen that as well.
But saying “I turned out fine” is similar to saying “I got over this traumatic thing, everyone should be able to.”
My man’s father wrote a check and ignored him for his entire childhood. His mother was an amazing and hard working woman and heaven knows he’s one of the most well-adjusted people I’ve ever known. His optimism is downright sexy. But when he first opened up to me about what that was like for him…
It’s very difficult for me to deal with his father.
Genetic Disadvantages
– Eye (also, I may add, reached an adult age JUST as 3-D was becoming popular, soon everything will be in 3-D and I’ll hardly be able to function normally. It’s already bad, give it 10 years. Another way for the asshfuck Powers That Be to laugh at me).
– Height (5’8.75 is morning height, 5’8.25 is my height right before bed. That is significantly below average in a country where the average man’s height is 5’10.5. All the men, and some of the women, in my family are taller than me. Nothing creates a good old-fashioned inferiority complex like height in an explicitly heightist world).
– Short fingers. Related to the height thing, obviously, but I have shortish. It makes me feel like not really fully grown. Also, I’m a guitarist (hobby, not a major thing), and my short fingers make it more difficult to play.
– Teeth. I have weird teeth. I take care of them but the front ones are different in length and don’t really show when I smile (which isn’t often, granted, but part of the reason is I don’t like my smile). Also, the left front one kind of hurts sometimes. It’s weird, not a cavity (I practice exceptional hygiene), discussed it with the dentist, we don’t know why.
– Alpha Family. May be a BIT of an exaggeration, but my family is more alpha than most. Most men are good looking, successful, my brother looks like a model despite being a complete FUCK and doing NOTHING TO DESERVE IT. I WORK HARDER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IN MY FAMILY ONLY TO BE FUCKED SLIGHTLY LESS HARD BY MY INFERIORITY.
To recap- awkward standing up (height), awkward sitting down (eye), can’t play most sports as well (height and eye), can’t be musical (fingers), ugly (self-explanatory), member of an alpha family (makes everything worse).
Fuck you, God.
Feminists are all about corporate ownership of government? Since when?
SHUT UP MRAL YOU ARE GIVING AWAY OUR PLAN
Nobinayamu, I feel you. My sweetheart is in a similar boat with his dad. Plus, the man started another family and kept it secret from him and the rest of his family for about eight years. His father will provide financial support still at times, but he always uses it as a sort of extortion/blackmail thing, even coercing StrangeBoyfriend into lying to the rest of his father’s family once!
Nobinayamu – See, I’m on the opposite side of that, because I was raised by two parents, and wished to God I wasn’t. My mother was extremely present–and also manipulative, undermining, cruel, and sometimes physically violent. My dad was loving and wonderful . They didn’t separate, unfortunately, until I was an adult.
I would have loved for my mom to have gone off somewhere and just written checks.
(Obviously it would be better if she’d been a great mother and stuck around, but I’m just saying, running away and writing checks is often the second worst option, not the worst.)
fascist
you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
fascism, if I remember from sophomore year of high school, means “for the good of all”. It’s a community thing that ignores the individual and paints in absurdly broad strokes. Seem to describe FUCKING FEMINISM to a fucking tee.
MRAL – You sound… ordinary. Not cursed by God, not blessed, but given a pretty average set of strengths and weaknesses. (I’m 5 foot freaking 1 and don’t call myself cursed, geez.) You don’t have a body that lets you lay back and say “I’ve got it made,” but you also don’t have a body that truly disables you, either. You’re where most people are.
MRAL, honestly. You’re 20. You aren’t fully grown. Also, morning height and evening height? What the fuck man? Who actually measures that? That’s an unhealthy obsession. And 2 inches is not a significant difference. It really isn’t. It just… it really isn’t. I know men who are less then 5 feet tall. That’s short.
And you can too play an instrument with short fingers. I totally have stubby fingers and small hands, and I’ve been playing the Viola since I was 9, and I’m pretty good at it too. It just takes a lot of time and dedication. Music isn’t easy. (Seriously. I am 6 feet tall, broad shoulders, huge feet, and I have child sized hands. I wear small gloves! It’s so weird.)
I hate 3-D movies and never go to them. Plus your compliment is really weird. How does your eyes interfere?
And I am betting your teeth are like your eyes, barely noticeable.
Man. Seriously. This list of grievances is… paltry. Some people are actually born with real genetic disorders. Your bitching is… silly.
Find a therapist and work on your self esteem, please!
Dude, you don’t need to remember things from your sophomore year. You have the entire Internet at your disposal. (Also, I think you may be remembering Communism, not that I expect you to realize a distinction.)
Webster’s defines “fascism” as “a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition.”
Feminism is all about the individual!
If an individual wants to have sex, they can and not be judged; if they don’t, they can have that right respected.
If an individual wants to have a baby, they can and find social support for raising that child; if they don’t, they have access to contraception and abortion.
If an individual wants to act feminine or masculine, if they want to raise children or work, if they want to go to school or join the military… they’ll find support for their choice in feminism.
Height doesn’t matter so much for teh wimminz.
I hate my brother. I don’t think that’s normal. But he’s a lazy pothead retard and does shit, while God has given him everything.
FUCKING FEMINISM
Actually most of us are just regular feminists.