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The Life Zone: If Saw and Human Centipede had a baby

The glow of pregnancy

Three young women wake up, confused and terrified, in a room that looks like a cross between a normal hospital room and the creepy underground lair of some mad scientist from a horror movie. A video screen flickers on and a creepy older man, looking a bit like Academy-award-nominee Robert Loggia, appears on it, telling the women that he’s their “jailer.” The women, you see, had all been getting abortions when their jailer’s shadowy accomplices kidnapped them and brought them to this strange prison, where they will be forced to live for the next seven months until they gave birth. “You were all on the operating table, all ready to commit murder,” announces a mysterious doctor. “Your babies will be given life just as God planned.”

This is the premise of a new horror film called The Life Zone, which recently had its world premiere at the prestigious, er, Hoboken International Film Festival, a festival that was, perhaps not coincidentally, founded and chaired by the film’s writer and producer, Kenneth del Vecchio. In case you think I’m making all this up, here’s the film’s trailer, which makes The Life Zone look a bit like an equal-parts mixture of Saw, Human Centipede, and The Handmaid’s Tale, with Robert Loggia in the role of Jigsaw/Dr. Heiter/The Commander:

Now, if you thought that something seemed really … off about that trailer, well, you’re not alone. For the film is not, as you might have assumed from my description, a warning against the fanatical misogyny of many in the anti-abortion movement.

No, the film – produced by a pro-life former judge, crime thriller author, and Republican New Jersey state senate candidate – is meant as pro-life propaganda. As the offical press release for the film’s premiere put it:

The film, which appears to cut right down the middle [of the abortion debate], examining the topic from both sides, offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist. Del Vecchio and the cast invite pro-lifers to come to this historic event. 

During the months the three women are held in captivity, you see, they are exposed to a barrage of films and books intended to, er, educate them about abortion –what their attending obstetrician Dr. Wise describes as “an abortion think tank.” Two of the captive women do indeed convert to the pro-life side; apparently we in the audience are supposed to develop Stockholm Syndrome along with them. The third, as we see in the trailer, tries to induce a miscarriage, which doesn’t go quite as planned.

And this sets us up for the final twist, which I’m just going to go ahead and reveal: once all three women have given birth, Dr. Wise tells them she’s going to sew them all, mouth-to-vagina, into a Human Abortion-pede!

Actually no: the twist is that the “life zone” the three women in has actually been … purgatory! All three “captives,” you see, had died on the operating table while getting their abortions. (Apparently they went to the world’s worst abortion clinic, as  first-trimester abortions don’t involve anything more surgically invasive than the insertion of a suction tube; the risk of death from a legal surgical abortion is 0.0006%, one in 160,000 cases, making the procedure many times safer than childbirth itself.)  Their time in the “life zone” was a test: the two women who changed their minds were whisked up to heaven, while their miscarriage-attempting, stubbornly pro-choice companion is sent straight to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks. Dr. Wise, despite being on the right side of the abortion question, also goes to hell for committing suicide. And, oh yeah, their jailer – Loggia – was Satan. Why Satan and a hell-bound doctor were the ones trying to convert the abortion ladies to the pro-life side I can’t tell you; del Vecchio’s theology is evidently more sophisticated than I am.

The real twist here? As Jersey Journal writer Alan Robb notes:

The Life Zone went viral across the internet [last] Friday after blogs The Frisky and Talking Points Memo picked up on the film’s trailer. … But despite garnering more than 20,000 hits on YouTube in the last four days, only fifty people – including the film’s cast and producers – attended this weekend’s screening, and even those who starred in the movie didn’t know how to interpret its twist ending.

It’s impossible to tell from the trailer if the film is bad in a so-bad-it’s-good way, or if it’s just plain awful. I will try to get hold of it when it hits video, and will report back with my results.

In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good horror film set in a creepy hospital, try renting Infection, a Japanese film from 2005. Or, if you’ve got a longer attention span, try Lars Von Trier’s supernatural soap opera The Kingdom, a darkly comic miniseries which takes place in what one might call, paraphrasing Bill Murray’s character in Tootsie, “one nutty hospital.” Both are conveniently available on Netflix instant watch, so you don’t even have to leave your pregnancy dungeon to see them.

EDITED: Added some info on the minimal dangers of abortion procedures.

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Pecunium
9 years ago

MRAL: Anyway, what does it matter WHY you don’t do something? All that matters is that you don’t, therefore your opinion “matters less”. That opens a fucking big ass can of worms

Why matters. Why is the core of the difference.

Women don’t… well just what is it they don’t?

Arguendo we’ll take your “example” (fight wars).

Women don’t fight wars because they can’t. They don’t fight because men don’t let them. There was a time when women didn’t vote.

Why? Because men didn’t let them.

They weren’t doctors.

Why? Because men didn’t let them.

If you think men don’t get pregnant because women don’t let them… you really did fail biology.

I’m saying a woman who has never fought or been affected by a war is no more experienced in war than a man is with pregnancy. A lot of men don’t know shit about wars either, it’s true, but the point is that whole thought process opens a big ass can of worms.

That’s not what you said above. You said women can’t be president, because they “cannot” fight them. Now you are saying no man who has not been in combat (as you haven’t) is eligble to be president.

You really need to get your ridiculous analogies in harmony to each other.

I think that if a woman is not a bitch and a c-word she will at least consider the father’s feelings on the matter, and I mean seriously consider them.

What do you mean by seriously consider? This is a serious question. Because all the women I’ve known who had to deal with an abortion for non-health, non-rape related issues, have talked to their partners about it.

But the final decision is hers, because (as keeps being menitioned) she is the one who is pregnant.

Pecunium
9 years ago

Holly: You want to let Slavey do the lashing, I’ll be ready to stand by as your safety. I guarantee that if he doesn’t stop, he’ll wish he had.

Pecunium
9 years ago

NWOslave: You are wrong again, and once again you are lying. Killing isn’t always wrong. The Bible doesn’t even say killing is wrong, it says murder is wrong (look at the book of Kings, and see how many people are killed. Look at Deuteronmy 18, and all the people who are to be killed merely for hiding an apostate).

Since the question is murder, and then the question has to be “what is murder?”. Until about 140 years ago this wasn’t even a question. The use of abortifacients was completely legal until, “quickening” (about halfway through the second trimester) and that was also when religious entities (to include the Roman Catholic Church) said abortion became problematic.

So, what you have is a modern interpretation, which only reached its present level of absolutism in my lifetime.

As I said, once again you are playing fast and loose with the facts.

Pecunium
9 years ago

Zombie: Freezing is an iffy option. I did some research (which involved doing an intake exam/donation) for an article on sperm donation.

First, not all men are able to freeze sperm. About 30 percent of potential donors are declined for poor viabilty on thaw.

Sperm do degrade over time.

Older men have higher likelihood of viability failure.

thefemalespectator
9 years ago

@Johnny Pez: Thanks for that link!

Pecunium
9 years ago

Slave (to your own ignorance): It is alive? Yes. Is it sentient? Maybe. Is it sapient, not at all.

I have a question for you, a simple yes or no, can you manage that? No qualifications, no elaborations, a simple yes or no.

Do you think we should ban capital punishment?

Pecunium
9 years ago

MRAL: The thing I see is an (inadequate) opporbrium against men who fail to support their kids. If they are paying support the public opinion is that he’s doing at least enough (which is colered by the people who bleat that making a man pay child support is unfair).

I don’t see a whole lot of actual denigration of them for not being more participatory. I do see a fair bit in the way of people saying fathers who live with with their kids should be more involved than just bringing home a paycheck and doing the “fun” things, while the mother has to do the scutwork.

(and I’m still doing travelling, so I’m sorry I’m behind: I do want to commend you for taking the time/effort to examine your positions, and the courage to admit to changing your mind. It does a great deal in terms of thinking well of you when we disagree. All I want, actually, is the sense that I am dealing with an honest actor.)

Pecunium
9 years ago

MRAL: How am I supposed to face my problems head on? As I’ve said it’s all genetics, so they are facts that cannot be changed. If feminism hadn’t turned the sexual arena into a bizarre eugenics (again- evokes Hitler) state in which only the top 1% of men can reliably get women while 70%-ish of women can get dick on command, it wouldn’t be QUITE as big of a deal.

I thought, “The Greek System” was all caused by evolution. I also thought it was being perpetuated by the “Alpha-dicks” revelling in their ability to get the girls while all the Omegas had to go without, or stoop to “fucking fatties.”

Are you on about your hardships again? What are the odds that you will end up with permanent deformation of the spine? How likely are you to go blind? Is it possible that you will develop a stealth heart problem and just drop dead?

Because those are things I actually have to worry about. That’s what comes of having a disease… a disease is an ongoing thing. My disease is why I’m not still in the Army. It’s actually affected my life in permanent ways, which which could get worse. You have a condition (like my having red-hair, and a slowly receding hairline). So really… this talk about how tough you are… how emotionally strong you are… you’ve had your entire fucking life to learn to cope with your minor (and they are minor… you are just too young, and clueless, to know that; and you refuse to listen to people who are experienced enough to point it out to you). I woke up to a massive change in my life. I wasn’t sure I was going to live to see 37. My odds of making 60, while still pretty good, aren’t what they used to be. So color me unimpressed.

Honestly… I know a lot of guys who are a lot worse of that you are, shorter, uglier, actually deformed in ways that are visible at a distance (things like having 30 percent of their skin melted away in a house fire, or losing a leg when an IED slagged it, and two of their buddies… and melted a large chunk of their skin (though that was out of sight until they got undressed… but they have to warn women about it, lest they freak out and decide that sex with them is too scary).

Really… your eye… sucks. But you aren’t short. You aren’t ugly. What you are is a miserable little kid, who needs to just learn to cope. People don’t like you because you are unlikable. You hate any woman who won’t sleep with you, or whom you think doesn’t take care of herself enough to be someone you think is worth sleeping with.

Which, as has been said before, is something women (well people in general) pick up on. It’s a self-fulfilling condition.

Pecunium
9 years ago

MRAL:someone above, I am 5’8.5 in stocking feet, not shoes. In shoes I’m about, I dunno, 5’9.5.

There’s your problem right there. When you tell people you are 5’8.5″ they look at you and immediately know yo are trying to hide your actually average height.

/sarcasm

Dude, get over yourself.

Then again… how many short dudes with massively deformed eyes can there be taking business classes, while wearing elevatory shoes?

Pecunium
9 years ago

And now my fianc&eactute;, her other fiancé and I are going to prowl the wilds of San Luis Obispo.

Ta-ta, for now.

Pecunium
9 years ago

and I see this is dead thread… sigh. I will finish it, because that’s what I do.

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

Not so fast, Pecunium. There’s still the After Action Report. Specifically, MRAL’s contribution to making this the Longest Thread Ever.

David makes blog post at 11:00 AM on June 8, 2011. MRAL begins commenting at 12:39 PM.

12:39 12:47 12:50 12:51 12:53 12:58 1:06 1:06 1:44 1:45 1:47 2:28 2:33 2:35 2:36 2:38 2:40 2:43 2:44 2:47 2:48 2:50 2:53 2:57 2:58 3:01 3:04 3:05 3:09 3:18 3:41 3:47 3:52 3:53 3:56 4:00 4:03 4:04 4:06 4:07 4:12 4:18 4:20 4:23 4:26 4:30 8:33 8:42 8:45 8:51 8:56 9:05 9:10 9:16 9:19 9:23 9:24 9:27 9:31 9:34 9:37 9:39 9:41 9:43 9:45 9:50 9:52 9:54 9:56 9:59 10:02 10:03 10:06 10:08 10:10 10:12 10:19 10:21 10:26 10:29 10;31 10:33 10:36 10:39 10:41 10:45 10:49 10:56 10:57 10:59 11:00 11:01 11:03 11:10 11:13 11:15 11:20 11:22 11:24 11:27 11:31 11:32 11:33 11:41 11:55

June 9, 2011

12:30 9:43 9:58 10:11 10:18 10:28 10:39 10:44 11:10 11:12 11:19 11:22 11:29 11:31 11:37 11:40 11:42 11:44 11:46 11:58 12:05 12:06 12:11 12:13 12:16 12:20 12:26 12:27 1:16 1:21 1:22 1:29 1:31 1:40

At this point, MRAL’s comments were becoming so violent that David put him on moderation. MRAL posted one final comment at 5:59 PM and abandoned the thread.

In a thread with 1062 comments (so far), MRAL was responsible for 140 of them, or 13.18% of the total, just over one eighth. Leaving out his final comment, MRAL posted off and on for 25 hours and 1 minute, averaging one post every 10 minutes and 40 seconds.

That’s how you dominate a thread.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@Johnny O_O;; I dunno whether to be amazingly geekily impressed or FRIGHTENED OUT OF MY MIND for you cataloging and analyzing that XD

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Johnny… Thats… Wow, that’s insane. Now if only we could get a pie chart of the different commenters here for a comparison 😛

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Don’t. Tempt. Him.

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

That was all hand-tabulated, BTW. I’m not nearly geeky enough to come up with a program that would do it. Wouldn’t surprise me, though, to know that it had already been done several times.

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