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creepy men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny Uncategorized

AskMen.com's Creepy Dude Survey

Dude, do you have a moment to take a quick survey?

So AskMen.com just put up the first segment of its annual 3-part Great Male Survey.  Filled with strange assumptions and sometimes creepy questions, it’s a survey that reveals at least as much about the survey makers as it does the survey takers, and what it reveals ain’t good:  it seems to have been written by a jaded ex-romantic ( or a committee of such) only a few short steps away from full-blown MGTOW-hood.

The survey starts off with a fairly innocuous question about basic compatibility, but quickly veers off course with question #2:

How important is it to you that your wife/future wife signs a prenup?

Hold on a second, daddy-o! We haven’t even determined if the little missy has “wife potential” yet —  as question #3 puts it.

After one more question about marriage, the quiz moves on to cheating and then (perhaps inevitably) to the issue of divorce:

Do men get screwed by the courts in divorce?

Then it’s onward to kvetching about what a naggy shrew your partner is (assuming you haven’t already finalized the divorce):

Followed by the classic “Would you dump a girlfriend if she became fat?” (Just in case you’re wondering, ladies, nearly half the American guys in last year’s survey said “yes.”)

Next we get to what we might call the “creepy controlling asshole” portion of the survey. After asking whether we’ve ever snooped through our partner’s email or Facebook messages, they pose this doozy:

That quiet clattering you hear is the sound of a thousand creepy dudes Googling to see if this is possible – and, if so, the best place to put the chip.

After several more questions about Facebook and the internet, a few badly conceptualized questions about romance, and a bunch about sex, the quiz moves on to some good old-fashioned slut shaming, asking men to quantify the number of sex partners a woman is allowed to have before they consider her “promiscuous.”  Ladies: you’ll be glad to know that 41% of American dudes who took the survey last year consider any women with more than 9 lifetime partners to be dirty sluts – sorry, “promiscuous.”

Then of course it’s on to an attempt to quantify exactly when women start getting all old and ugly:

Yes, one of the possible answers is “18.” You may be slightly reassured by the fact that zero percent of last year’s survey takers gave that answer. Six percent said “20,” though, and 24% said “30.”

Then we have this curiously worded question on workplace sex:

So the idea that your partner might be a big higher up on the old org chart isn’t even a possibility? What is this, 1962? Did they borrow this question from Helen Gurley Brown’s Sex and the Single Girl? Or find it scribbled on a napkin on Don Draper’s desk just before he impulsively proposed to his new secretary?

I think we need to design our own survey.

(Note: Cartoon above borrowed, of course, from Comically Vintage.)

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kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

I dunno, I thought the Fellowpian Boob was hilarious.

… Oh right… umm umm umm

s) and therefore allied temporarily with the MRR, since both wanted women destroyed. The robots thus had to declare alliance with the Feminist Empire to keep balance between the sides, lest one outdo the other and become powerful enough to keep the robots in check.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

T) and the MRR and Feminist Empire then allied against the XY traitors and organ stealers: the trans feminists

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

U) But there loomed on the horizon a powerful foe, one that neither side could fight… The trans men! Feminists could only cheer them on in women’s choice empowerment, and MRR don’t know anything about women, so they seemed just like one of the guys. No one saw them coming, and no one will be left to witness them leave.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

http://www.thestar.com/news/article/1001877–game-drawn-by-toronto-girl-5-becomes-online-sensation?bn=1

I can’t wait until MRAs find out about this and rant about spoiled girls benefiting and getting fame from the hard work of poor toiling men xD (and that she’s prolly gonna be stolen from him in the next 12 hours by his wife, even if she’s not in the article, who will take all his earnings)

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

V) Except Ami Angelwings who tsked in sadness at how the world she had created so long ago had turned…

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

W) She turned to her bodyguard, Kirbywarp, and bode him to flip the switch. The one that would unleash a hidden program within the sex bots that he had planted in them upon their creation.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

X) marks the spot

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Y) With newfound purpose, the sex bots gathered at the border between the two gender’s empires; large X’s creating a blocade with barbed wire. Both sides looked on in fascination, forgetting their anger for the moment…

zombie rotten mcdonald

Z) UNLEASHING THE ZOMBOCALYPSE!!!

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Z) and a giant orgy ensued… the likes the universe had never known (except for that big bang thing, but that’s a story and a double meaning for another day)…

AA) until they had kids…

zombie rotten mcdonald

Wow, I can’t believe you guys left Z for me. i am touched.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

If I knew you were lurking, I would have xD

Consider mine (or yours) the alternate DVD ending :3

zombie rotten mcdonald

Ami and I obviously think very differently….depending on the exact definition of Zombocalypse I am using.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Oh no, I think Z is good… for now! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! >:D

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

That was supposed to have a billion spaces between Z and AA but WP dislikes me xD

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Perhaps this is what you were going for, Zombie?



kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Zombie dance party!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

YES!! I finally beat Sissy’s Magical Ponycorn Adventure!! Oh man, that took forever, what an awesome…

What… Why are you all staring at me? What?

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Omega.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

*spits*

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
9 years ago

Off topic but where should I go for my birthday?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

*gasps, taken aback.. shakes head*

no… No! That’s not true… THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

Ami: Search your feelings, you know this to be true!

… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Is it your birthday today, Elizabeth? Cause you know what happens when posters have a birthday, right?

Cause I don’t…. Happy Birthday!

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@formerlyknownasElizabeth what are your options? (where are you considering? :3 )

katz
9 years ago

Sorry Kirby, didn’t see you’d already done fellowpian. Didn’t mean to steal it from you.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Kirby… stop reading the birthday cards at Wal-Mart for pick up lines…

katz
9 years ago

Body parts I can’t come up with puns for: Clitoris, breast, G-spot.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@katz kirby’s now officially a spat open omega, feel free to steal w/e you want from him… including his job! ESPECIALLY his job

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Why? It works for me SOOO many times!! At least, when it is actually the girl’s birthday… Otherwise it’s kinda creepy..

kristinmh
kristinmh
9 years ago

Ami, I leaned at first towards “estrogent” (very classy-sounding!) or “fellowpian”, but “brovary” literally made me LOL.

Katz, I forgot about the facial alpha!

4. Are you riding:

A) the bad boy cock carousel?
B) the bad boy duck cock carousel?
C) the bad boy Smurf cock carousel?
D) the

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
9 years ago

I turn more then 1 on June 27. And I live in AZ but only have two days off so four days to go wherever.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@Katz I had considered Gent-Spot I had a BUNCH for clit but I didn’t like them 🙁 (hence my terrible spit hood joke xD )

how about Clitorhis?

hmm now that I think about it, that joke is kinda clit or miss

*ducks the tomatos*

XDDD

kristinmh
kristinmh
9 years ago

Oops, that would be

D) the merry-go-round at the fair with your intellectual peers (i.e. 5 year olds)?

Lyn
Lyn
9 years ago

I think followpian also works 😉

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Don’t be too hard-on yourself, Ami. Not every joke is a weiner. Take a step back, cuntemplate for a clit, then when you are ready cum back and give it your breast shot!

I’m.. I’m gonna go lie down now…

kristinmh
kristinmh
9 years ago

Clintorus? (In honour of Manly Man Clint Eastwood)

Also Brogesterone (it’s released by the brovaries!)

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

“Estrogent” and “dudterus” made me laugh so hard I scared the cats. Ami, you are made of WIN.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

I may have gone a little overboard on the sex puns with that last one… So here’s some more!

What do you call books written by women? Cliterature

Where can you go to figure out MRA lingo? The Dicktionary

Also, Katz, obviously you’re forgetting the obvious one. Manboobz!

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

boooooo get off the stage!

xD

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

*Sigh* I should keep to singing, and leave comedy to the pros…

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

You’re lucky you have your looks. esp after that comment that’s still in moderation xD

katz
9 years ago

What is the correct way to post for the first time on a blog?

A) Say something that was specifically refuted in the post

B) Call them all bitches

C) Post a five-paragraph monologue about your personal life

D) Assert a bizarre, invented social structure as incontrovertible fact

E) Confuse the Latin and Greek alphabets

F) Something about wyyymyyynz

E) All of the above!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

If ever a pun could tear the very soul from person’s chest, if they could rot the air and poison the sea, the world and every one to come would be barren for at least 10,000 years. Oh God, what hath I wraught!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Actually Katz, C is lookin pretty decent. Have you pulled a false “All of the above” manuever?

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Wow…ya’ll are 10 different kinds of awesome! Were I wearing a hat, I would doff it.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth you should go to Glendale, AZ and offer to buy the Phoenix Coyotes if only they’d give you 190 million dollars to buy it :3 (hay it’s 5 mil less than what Matthew Hulsizer is asking for and you’d make 20 million from buying the team for 170 mil xD ) 😀

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
9 years ago

I love this place so much!

Laughing gull
Laughing gull
9 years ago

I’m gonna have to save this for anytime I need a laugh till my fellwopians bust. Grand performance!