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Mutant Illuminati whores, oh my!

Illuminati tool?

You can always count on men’s-rightser-turned-conspiracy-maven Henry Makow for sound and sensible commentary on the sexual and social mores of today.

Oh, wait, it’s not Opposite Day. You can count on Henry for loopy misogynist paranoia.

Henry recently took a trip to Toronto, where, he explains,

signs of the elite’s psychological attack on heterosexuals are everywhere. Young females are the main victims.

His evidence for this? He noticed some people fundraising for a program designed to help girls in the Third World. He read about a conference of feminists in Winnipeg.  (No, it’s still not opposite day: in his mind these things are terrible for girls.) Oh, and he read about one oddball couple that is raising their kid to be genderless.

All this leads him to conclude, naturally, that the powers that be are trying to make women obsolete. Huh? Let’s let him explain it, because I sure can’t:

WOMEN BECOMING OBSOLETE

If a woman will not accept her husband’s just leadership, she does not love him. …

A woman loves by surrendering power to her husband in exchange for his power (protection) expressed as love. Men want power; women want love. …

Masculinity is defined by power. Power = penis. Empower women and you give them a psychological penis. You neuter them.

Well, damn. That doesn’t sound good. Who exactly is giving women these psychological penises?

By sabotaging their gender identity and their faith in marriage, the Illuminati are transforming females into their sexless worker-drones and amateur whores.

Oh, right. Those guys. Those guys must be really, really busy.

Anyway, back to Henry’s trip to Toronto:

Most of the young women I saw on the street clearly defined their self-worth in terms of sex appeal. …

But they seemed to regard male attention as predatory. They were like amateur streetwalkers who were both too self-enamored and gender-confused to relate to males.

There’s also a chance that these women looked at Mr. Makow and thought, “huh, a weird angry dude old enough to be my father is staring at my tits like they belong to him. I will definitely not be having sex with him.”

Oh, and apparently ol Henry has heard about the Slutwalks:

Yet they will actually demonstrate for the right to behave like sluts without suffering any consequences. Their younger sisters are also being sexualized and look like Brooke Shields in the film Pretty Baby.

Um, THAT’s your cultural reference? Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby? Not, I dunno, the Bratz? And seriously, if you want to reference a 70s movie that creepily sexualizes underage girls, at least be a little original about it: go with Jodie Foster, in Bugsy Malone.

If you’ve never heard of Bugsy Malone, or simply want to remind yourself of its icky weirdness, the trailer below should help.

Ol Henry again:

The Illuminati are turning young women into mutants, unfit for marriage, and unfit for motherhood.

They are fit only to betray themselves and their society as cannon fodder in the New World Order.

Our world is increasingly zany because it is controlled by a Cabalist satanic cult, the Illuminati.

Dude, way to totally sell yourself short.  The world is zany because of people like you. And the producers of Bugsy Malone.

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Nobby
Nobby
9 years ago

Wow, this was one amazing thread. Spearhafoc, you’re absolutely amazing. Both for those drawings as well as giving me by far the most laughs out of this. Kirbywarp, ithiliana, and Lady Victoria, i admire your doggedness in actually arguing. Ami, I’m sorry I was ever put of by your smilies, you are likewise awesome. Holly, I hope your feminist conspiracy meeting when well.

Anyone else I didn’t name, you are also awesome. I love you all.

Oh, and NWOSlave: You should try comedy, you’d be great. Don’t worry when people start laughing at things that aren’t jokes, though. Just go with it.

C.C. Fuss
C.C. Fuss
9 years ago

Supposedly, that little robot was a last-minute addition. Some crewmember brought a radio controlled toy car to the set and was fooling around with it, and George decided to dress it up and put it in the movie. Turned out to be one of the best scenes.

I did not know that. Neat!

C.C. Fuss, Men's Rights Activist Supreme High Empress and Unquestioned Overlady
C.C. Fuss, Men's Rights Activist Supreme High Empress and Unquestioned Overlady
9 years ago

Ha. What you new MRA recruits failed to realise is that we fymynymymynysts have also taken over the men’s rights movement. You must now accept my orders!

Muahahahahaha….

redlocker
redlocker
9 years ago

This is why I read Manboobz. Good posts and even greater discussion (most of the time).

Men's Rights Activist Lance Corporal

But, but, if you’re MRAs then I have to obey you but if you’re feminists I have to disobey you but if you’re MRAs I have to obey you but if you’re feminists I have to disobey you —

ILLOGICAL ILLOGICAL NORMAN COORDINATE ……………………………….

C.C. Fuss
C.C. Fuss
9 years ago

*evil cackle* And now you see why the MRAs are so incoherent – we have destroyed their reasoning faculties with paradoxes!

As fymynymynists, we are of course impervious to logical argument and hence immune to the effects of the paradoxes we generate and unleash…

Pecunium
9 years ago

While you all decide to be assimilated into the MRA fold, I shall take my twisted and decadent pleasures with the hypergamous women you are leaving with fewer opportunities to slake the insatiable lusts.

Men's Rights Activist Lance Corporal

You’ve got it all wrong, Pec. Women hate sex. That’s why we have to trick them into fucking us, or bribe them with dinner and a movie.

Pam
Pam
9 years ago

AND popcorn!! Don’t forget the popcorn!!

ithiliana
9 years ago

Seconding Bee’s information on how theo verpopulation problem is not just sheer math (i.e. number of people), but resources consumed (experimenting the command this time):

http://serc.carleton.edu/quantskills/methods/quantlit/popgrowth.html

Essential Concepts
There are 5 main concepts that our students struggle with when learning about population growth and the relationship of population to geological resource use:

overpopulation is a leading environmental problem,
exponential population growth and development leads to faster depletion of resources,
population grows exponentially,
why population prediction is difficult,
population is not evenly distributed throughout the world.

The U.S. and other industrialized countries have sucked up the vast majority of the world’s resources (and I would not be surprised to see armed conflicts over potable water before I die), and those resources are not infinite.

But deforestation overconsumption of resources has been happening for centuries–human beings seem to be a greedy species.

NWO, given the very low opinion you seem to have of so much of humanity (us silly people all taken in by the bankers), why do you care if we’re going down in flames?

ithiliana
9 years ago

Vampires: I taught a vampire (creative writing class) this past semester–it was amazing (we started with Sheridan and Le Fanu’s vampires and ended up with Octavia Butler’s Fledgling (one of only two vampire novels I know about with Black women as the protagonists vampires–the other being Jewelle Gomez’s Gilda).

Had one bad night when I had to tamp down the conflict between the Twilight lovers and the Twilight haters.

Joe
Joe
9 years ago

> Ever wonder why you Guv buildings and such don’t have these security measures?

No, for the same reason that I don’t wonder why the sky is plaid.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to leave my cellphone in the car so they won’t confiscate it before I go through the metal detector at the entrance to my county courthouse.

kirbywarp - The Modern Feminist General
kirbywarp - The Modern Feminist General
9 years ago

Hmm, it looks like its about time for us fymynysts to militarize as well! Cook up a war so that everyone will be distracted from our secret takeover of the MRM. I mean… DISTRACTION (Sorry spearhafoc…)

(bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum)

I am the very model of a Feminism General,

I’ve information vegetable, animal and mineral.

I know our queen Andrea and can fight the pornos horrible,

From amateur to lesbian, they all are quite deplorable.

I’m very well aquainted too with keeping men held down-able,

I’ve got my sharpened stilleto to stomp men to the ground-able

And if they protest, well, I’ll simply yell out “he is raping me!”

(… hrmm.. raping me, raping me, raping me… Ah! Got it!)

And he’ll be thrown in prison just as long as he’s not taping me!

Amnesia
Amnesia
9 years ago

Wonder Woman, Illuminati, vampires, Gargoyles, holocaust deniers as sources, Futurama, Star Trek and Star Wars references…

This deserves a nomination for best thread ever.

Things Are Bad
9 years ago

Well I certainly can’t disagree that the vast majority of western women today are “unfit for marriage, and unfit for motherhood”. Regardless of who instigated it, feminist ideals obviously don’t work in the real world, leading to hostility between the sexes and a whole host of social and economic issues.

kirbywarp - The Modern Feminist General
kirbywarp - The Modern Feminist General
9 years ago

Sorry all, I have to do just one more. This is way too much fun. Here are the MGTOWers (sung to When the Foeman Bares his Steel)

(bum bum bum bum bum bum bum)

When the woman bares her chest (tarantara tarantara)

We’re uncomftrable at best (tarantaraaaa)

And we find the wisest thing (tarantara tarantara)

Is to mock them as we sing “Tarantaraaaa!”

For when threatened with divorce (tarantara tarantara)

Taking money from you forced (tarantaraaaa)

There is nothing they can say if we all go our own way, if we all go our own waay!! (tarantara tarantara)

sarahejones
9 years ago

Oh God. Ok, international studies major here: the Council on Foreign Relations is *not* a government department. They’re a fucking think tank. They produce research and policy analyses. But it’s a private group. See, aren’t facts cool?

Sorry, NWO. But Mulder did it better.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@Nobby Awww ty! 😀

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Sarah,

You mean NWOslave was wrong about something? Heaven forefend!

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

Worse yet, he was wrong on the internet! That just can’t be!

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Imagine for a minute all the time NWO had to spend to amass his impressive store of “knowledge.” It’s really kind of sad to think about–a life devoted to completely misunderstanding the way the world works. I mean, everyone has a few wrongheaded notions, but few are so consistently wrong about everything as our Slavey.

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Yeah, Johnny Pez, I seem to devote an increasing large portion of my spare time to correcting people who are wrong on the internet. It’s a thankless and often pointless job, but someone has to do it, right?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Aww man.. were my re-imaginings of pirates of panzanz out of line? They seem to have gone away.. 🙁

Pam
Pam
9 years ago

And when not spouting his Illuminati conspiracy theories, ole Henry is wringing his hands over The Dying Art of Femininity

Yes, femininity, as with masculinity, is an art form, not an innate expression. As Henry states, “Femininity and masculinity are an art like playing the piano. They must be learned. We have to know the basics before we can improvise.” And yet several paragraphs beneath, he THEN tells us that, “Men and women are the victims of a cruel hoax. They are taught that sexual differences are “socially conditioned.” Ironically this lie is the actual “social conditioning”. Sexual differences are inborn. For example, males have ten times the level of testosterone as women, and this determines their willingness to take risks, etc. Sex roles express natural differences and form the spice of life.” Ah, so sex roles, which must be learned (as he pointed out previously) arise naturally from our sex differences. Would somebody please make up his mind for him.

And how about THIS completely out of touch gem:
“The world suffers the loss of feminine spiritual qualities: trust, modesty, grace, innocence, serenity, tenderness, patience and love. This is behind the male obsession with pornographic sex. Men unconsciously seek femininity and love to balance them. The restless masculine spirit seeks a calm harbor.”
Huh? Bet you see a lot of THOSE feminine spiritual qualities while they’re aiming towards the eventual money shot!

Xtra
9 years ago

Children not being conceived to parents that don’t want them=good

Might even help with starvation/standard of living.
I could see how based on one’s ideology they could see abortion as bad. My problem is these same groups usually don’t care about the children after they are born, which of course goes back to the starvation and standard of living.

As far as population decline/overpopulation. If there really is a population decline, the resolution is not forcing women to give birth repeatedly against their will until it potentially kills them.(Childbirth gets more dangerous the more times you do it.)

The solution is helping those that want children, but cannot afford them to have them. You can also help those that can’t because of medical reasons have them. If there really is overpopulation, the solution is helping those that don’t want children not have them through available contraception.

The only unreasonable side I see are the forced birthers trying to keep people from getting contraception.

If you get married so your wife can repeatedly give birth until she dies, then do so again with another young woman, is that male hypergamy? Is that why MRA’s don’t like contraception? She can’t leave you with the kids if she’s dead and you get a new young hot wife, amirite?

Pam
Pam
9 years ago

I think we should make a rule that men cannot opine about femininity unless they are at that very moment wearing a dress and heels.

And don’t forget the girdle or corset!

Oh yes, ole Henry is a treasure trove of inanity. No wonder he had A Long Way to Go for A Date

Pam
Pam
9 years ago

LOL!!

darksidecat
darksidecat
9 years ago

6,775,235,700 That is far too few people, obviously. What we need is more, at least double. 13,550,471,400 is the absolute minimum number of humans we need before the earth is crowded enough to get us to be able to convince the government to build us a moon colony like a 70s space opera. What sort of world would it be if we decreased world population by half and only had 3,387,617,850 people? One with not enough misery and resource depletion to justify settling in space, that’s what kind.

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

What sort of world would it be if we decreased world population by half and only had 3,387,617,850 people?

It would be an awful lot like our world in 1965. I leave it to others to decide whether that is a good thing.

Owllizard
Owllizard
9 years ago

I havent read the whole thread yet but I must say that my power doesnt come from a psychological penis, my power comes from my quite real but enourmous breasts. I normally only use this power for good.
Back to reading.

chocomintlipwax
9 years ago

Why is it that every time I see “psychological penis” I imagine it’s on the same album as “Lesbian Seagull?”

Actually, I just start imagining the lyrics to “Lesbian Seagull” with the words “psychological penis” instead.

“Come with me
Psychological Penis”

It would get a little confusing around the parts where it goes on and on about birds, but otherwise …

weirwoodtreehugger
weirwoodtreehugger
4 years ago

I hope nobody minds if I necro this thread to call attention to the fact that it’s the GREATEST THREAD EVER. It’s full of NWOslave and the non-troll commenters are really on point.

Thank you again David for the random post feature. Even if it does encourage thread necromancy.

nparker
nparker
4 years ago

Necroing as well, I especially like the fact that its easier for me as a newbie to read some of the hilariousness I missed. Love the feature.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
4 years ago

Oh dear gods, MRAL’s original incarnation! And this thread’s older than me, this should be a good read. Thanks for the necro guys 🙂

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