A woman calling herself SouthSideShikse caused a bit of a ruckus over on the Sex subreddit on Reddit the other day with a little post singing the praises of “average-looking guys with smallish penises.”
At least I assume it was a woman making the post; it may well have been, you know, an average-looking guy with a smallish penis. Whoever it was, in any case, gushed about these unhung heroes of the sex world (and no, I didn’t think that joke up myself):
I adore, admire, and salute you. You are the unsung heroes of the bedroom. You try so hard, care so much, and learn so fast. Hands-down the two very best male sex partners I’ve ever had were really average-looking guys on the small end of the spectrum. Not relying on dashing looks or a massive tool to win the interest of potential mates, the face-in-the-crowd four-and-a-half-incher really, really knows his way around a pussy. Ladies of Reddit and the world, appreciate these hard-working and extremely attentive soldiers of love. That is all.
Now, SouthSideShikse’s observations are not exactly scientific, based as they are on a small sample (as it were). But for the most part, the men of Reddit welcomed her sentiments with huzzahs, upvotes, and lots of dumb jokes.
There were, however, a few who didn’t join in the general merriment. A brand new class of oppressed men: dudes with giant wangs.
As one self-admitted well-endowed Redditor complained:
Is having a big penis something that predisposes you to not giving a fuck about the girl’s pleasure?…
There is no correlation between douchiness and penis size.
I have a large penis, and I’m a nerd, an average looking guy, and I make girls cum with my skills, not my cock.
Shut the fuck up.
Valour, meanwhile, asked this puzzling question, seeming to suggest that handsome guys with giant packages face some sort of discrimination:
What do you suppose would happen to you if you thought you were just an ordinary human being, but everyone else treated you like absolute shit because they thought you were good looking and/or sexually endowed?
Gloomdoom, presumably another big-dicker, responded to SouthSideShikse’s generalizations with some generalizations of his own, earning himself some downvotes from average-dickers with his sarcastic attack on the small-penised:
Yeah….average looking dudes with small penises really know their way around a pussy.
That’s like saying a kid with a BB gun makes a great sniper in war time.
Naturally, this being Reddit, a bunch of dudes felt they simply couldn’t overlook yet another opportunity to attack “fat chicks.”
Then there was this dude. I kind of feel bad for him:
So no appreciation for us average looking guys with average length but too much girth? Cant touch the bottom of a tuna can but it can wear out the sides. … they do it once and dont want to be that sore anymore. Im sorry ladies. Truly I am.
I guess we all have our crosses to bear. In the case of this dude, his cross is evidently the shape and size of a tuna can.
This post is why I have the internet.
What this tells me, is a lot of guys 1: Are convinced they are great in the sack, and 2: a LOT of guys are afraid they aren’t.
3: any guy who pays attention to his partner, will do all right.
And there is literally nothing that MRA’s won’t whine about.
Big penises hurt. That is all.
You know, if straight guys weren’t so convinced that all of their sexual relationships ever needed to revolve primarily around PIV intercourse, they wouldn’t have these problems…
Are these guys actual MRAs? They seem more like run-of-the-mill douches, no political agenda required.
Also, the last dude just isn’t looking hard enough. (TMI) I can’t take much length, so short and stout is ideal. I can’t be the only one.
So, of the roughly 40 cocks I’ve had the pleasure of playing with (not all of whom I did PIV with) I found 2 that were too small to be fun and one that was too big for, er, some things (but certainly not too big for everything!). All the others were good for pretty much everything. And, as far as I can tell, no correlation between dick size and skill. So my general conclusion is that size does matter, but within a couple of standard deviations of “average” it’s pretty much all good.
(of course it’s possibly my sample size skews one way or the other vs national average or world average)
I can’t be the only one who had this immediately pop into their mind http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xhfm7x_jimmy-tran-on-def-poetry_shortfilms
@ozy, my discussions on this matter find a lot of variation in personal taste in regards to size. It is cis guys who are the usually most obsessed with huge cocks, whereas when discussing women’s personal preferences, about just as many like small as like big.
in the TMI category: I’ve have one lover complain I was a bit too large, and one complain I was a bit too small.
I’ve had a few say I was, “just right” and most never mentioned it.
I’ve been told of a few men who were “too small”. That was defined at, “kept falling out”.
But all in all, (and I’ve been in a fair bit of, “locker room” talk with women; though I have no illusions that they were as frank when I/we were there, as when it’s all women in the conversation), I’ve gotten the impression that size isn’t that big a deal.
darksidecat: Probably in relationship to vagina size, I’d suppose.
My sense is that a long and agile tongue, and a willingness to use it, is far more important to most women. With emphasis on the willingness.
Capt. Bathrobe – I dunno, I’ve yet to meet a guy whose tongue was longer than his cock, so, not really a substitute 😉
And most.
Actually… I don’t know that long is all that big a deal, with tongues.
I yearn for the day when we can get over cock size, as if it were the END OF THE WORLD if a guy isn’t perfectly sized and proportioned, to say nothing of the small cock vs large cock debate. Most women don’t care as much as men think they care, and douchebag who treats a woman like dirt, doesn’t care if she gets off or has godawful technique will ruin sex far more than too small/too big cock.
http://xkcd.com/194/
Capt. Bathrobe – I dunno, I’ve yet to meet a guy whose tongue was longer than his cock, so, not really a substitute
Fair enough. I guess that’s what I get for trying to generalize about what anyone–women or men–wants in bed. Everybody’s different. 🙂
Of all the penises I have had the pleasure of playing with, I find the one that has been the most pleasurable, by far, is the one attached to a man I am currently insanely in love with – and the only man I have ever truly loved. Not coincidentally he has also been the only man who has ever been able to make me climax through vaginal intercourse. Fortunately I also call him my boyfriend. And his penis is beautiful and perfectly average.
Also, size isn’t at all an issue if the penis is being used to stimulate my clitoris. Just saying.
I had a professor in college who said that the most important sexual organ is the brain. These comments seem to bear that out.
On the one hand, it is kinda dumb to thank a huge group of people for having exactly what you have personally preferred in your own individual experience, as though they are objectively and generally awesome and share a group of characteristics not necessarily related to that preferred trait. On the other hand, showing your own appreciation for a group of people you believe are underappreciated is hardly the worst thing in the world.
So, yes, the author of the original ode to the small penis is being simplistic and dumb, but so are the respondents. I’m with mediumdave on this one. If you’re an incredibly handsome man with a big penis, please — please, for the luffah god — get over the fact that this ONE person has not chosen to honor you with their words. Next time, dude.
This reminds me, though, of something that caught my eye while I was enjoying Something Awful’s take on the Spearhead forums several weeks back. Ah yes, here it is. “Laugh at my tiny dick will you!? *participates in homo-erotic wrestling off of clothes in male shower*” Awesome.
Johnnykaje, no these guys aren’t MRAs, and the only misogynistic thing about the discussion was the off-topic side discussion attacking “fat chicks.”
I just thought it was funny how quick the large-penised crowd decided it was the victim of discrimination. That reminded me a lot of MRAs.
Ah, penises. My boyfriend thinks his is too small, meanwhile certain positions can be uncomfortable for me. That would be from years of both his parents telling him it was too small, even though they’d never seen it erect, and even though, except in individual cases, size doesn’t matter. I really wish people would get over it. Average dick size is 6-8 inches and most women don’t climax from PIV anyway and last I was aware/experienced, fingers and tongues don’t need to be long to be enjoyable. 😉
Alex, I’m not sure you’re measuring correctly. 🙂 Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size
Just had to point this out before half the guys reading this had a heart attack.
And Bee, I had no idea there was such a thing as the My Tiny Dick forum.
http://www.mytinydick.net/talk/
South Park did it:
http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s15e04-tmi
That is all I have to say on this topic.
The funny thing is that in these conversations it’s almost always assumed that vaginas all come in one size and shape…
Hell even the arrangement of the aorta and it’s branches coming off your heart can vary significantly from one person to another. I’m hardly expecting anything else to be consistent.
So I guess it really is YMMV… 😛