A woman calling herself SouthSideShikse caused a bit of a ruckus over on the Sex subreddit on Reddit the other day with a little post singing the praises of “average-looking guys with smallish penises.”
At least I assume it was a woman making the post; it may well have been, you know, an average-looking guy with a smallish penis. Whoever it was, in any case, gushed about these unhung heroes of the sex world (and no, I didn’t think that joke up myself):
I adore, admire, and salute you. You are the unsung heroes of the bedroom. You try so hard, care so much, and learn so fast. Hands-down the two very best male sex partners I’ve ever had were really average-looking guys on the small end of the spectrum. Not relying on dashing looks or a massive tool to win the interest of potential mates, the face-in-the-crowd four-and-a-half-incher really, really knows his way around a pussy. Ladies of Reddit and the world, appreciate these hard-working and extremely attentive soldiers of love. That is all.
Now, SouthSideShikse’s observations are not exactly scientific, based as they are on a small sample (as it were). But for the most part, the men of Reddit welcomed her sentiments with huzzahs, upvotes, and lots of dumb jokes.
There were, however, a few who didn’t join in the general merriment. A brand new class of oppressed men: dudes with giant wangs.
As one self-admitted well-endowed Redditor complained:
Is having a big penis something that predisposes you to not giving a fuck about the girl’s pleasure?…
There is no correlation between douchiness and penis size.
I have a large penis, and I’m a nerd, an average looking guy, and I make girls cum with my skills, not my cock.
Shut the fuck up.
Valour, meanwhile, asked this puzzling question, seeming to suggest that handsome guys with giant packages face some sort of discrimination:
What do you suppose would happen to you if you thought you were just an ordinary human being, but everyone else treated you like absolute shit because they thought you were good looking and/or sexually endowed?
Gloomdoom, presumably another big-dicker, responded to SouthSideShikse’s generalizations with some generalizations of his own, earning himself some downvotes from average-dickers with his sarcastic attack on the small-penised:
Yeah….average looking dudes with small penises really know their way around a pussy.
That’s like saying a kid with a BB gun makes a great sniper in war time.
Naturally, this being Reddit, a bunch of dudes felt they simply couldn’t overlook yet another opportunity to attack “fat chicks.”
Then there was this dude. I kind of feel bad for him:
So no appreciation for us average looking guys with average length but too much girth? Cant touch the bottom of a tuna can but it can wear out the sides. … they do it once and dont want to be that sore anymore. Im sorry ladies. Truly I am.
I guess we all have our crosses to bear. In the case of this dude, his cross is evidently the shape and size of a tuna can.
Pecunium: I think I meant the Romans! God, to be near the internet only when I have enough coffee!
Oh, hey, WRT that ad up there… I slept with one guy once who, uh, had a kinda hard time keeping it up and he was pretty convinced the reason was that he smoked. He was trying to quit. Maybe he just made that up as a motivation to himself to quit smoking, but I’m not sure. In any case, I don’t think smoking can, in fact, “make it long” 🙂
Yes, both the Greeks and Romans were into small penises. They were considered more beautiful and “streamlined”. Bigger ones were considered comical and animal-like. They were also into uncircumcised ones: with the foreskin going right to the tip. Any exposer of the glands of the penis was considered indecent. Athletes with short foreskins would wear a kynodesme – a sort of leather leash for the penis that stretched the foreskin.
With sex, they seemed to get around the inherent passive/dominant relationship of anal sex by using face-to-face intercrural intercourse (penis thrusts between closed thighs).
“a tuna can”
excuse me while I die laughing XD