Categories
evil women men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny MRA sex sluts thug-lovers video white knights

Smurfette was a stuck-up bitch

Do MGTOWers get their notions of modern romance from old Smurf cartoons? I’m beginning to think they do. As you may remember, the world of the Smurfs was an all-male bastion until evil Gargamel created the creature he called Smurfette from a mixture of

Sugar and spice but nothing nice…A dram of crocodile tears…A peck of bird brain…The tip of an adder’s tongue…Half a pack of lies, white, of course…The slyness of a cat…The vanity of a peacock…The chatter of a magpie…The guile of a vixen and the disposition of a shrew…And of course the hardest stone for her heart…..

Initially an evil, deceitful brunette, Smurfette was transformed by Papa Smurf into a glamorous (and less obviously evil) blonde. At which point Smurfs young and old began falling in love with her, supplicating themselves before her Smurfy beauty. Even Papa Smurf himself had the Smurfs for her, as you can see in the video above – even though, as her co-creator, he was basically her father. Ick. Sometimes Smurfette played her smurfy suitors against one another, inspiring them to even greater depths of supplication.

MGTOWers, and a lot of MRAs, basically see this as the basic paradigm of romance: men jumping through hoops to even get noticed by stuck-up women who need do nothing but exist in order to garner male attention. In the Smurf world, this was because there was only one Smurfette in a village full of lonely Smurfs. In the real world, in which men and women balance out more evenly, well, MGTOWers and MRA recreate the weird Smurfy imbalance by simply declaring most women undateable – too old (if they’re over 25 or 30) or too fat (with BMIs over 25). Hey presto! Now men, much like Smurfs, can compete against one another for the same small number of women, making almost everyone miserable in the process, especially themselves.

In Smurf world, of course, Smurfette is chaste and pure; she may kiss the boys but that’s about it. This hardly comports with the MGTOW notion that women are all slutty sluts, bedding down with every thug-boy and alpha male who makes their ‘ginas tingle, to use the peculiarly offputting parlance of the misogynist set. Natually enough, a few creative internetters have reimagined Smurfette as a Smurfslut. Warning: this video may destroy your image of Smurfette forever. This one’s worse.

Oh, and for an interesting discussion of the misogyny and apparent anti-Semitism of Smurf creator Peyo, see here.

198 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Fatman
Fatman
13 years ago

Sorry, I did not see your post kirbywarp.

Sarah
Sarah
13 years ago

I’ve always smurfelly though that Brad Pitt was kind of generic looking. I guess he’s kind of attractive in a very… ordinary… way, but I’d probably not sleep with him if he came onto me.

Now Allen Rickman, or Lady Gaga…

chocomintlipwax
13 years ago

Hey now, on my agenda for today, right between “get manicure” and “be vapid,” I have, “spit on men.” Maybe he was one of the men I spat on.

Or maybe it rained and he believes in an Earth Mother. Either way.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

@fatman:
No probs, plenty of others got there before me as well.

@chocomintlipwax:
LOL! You are an awesome person, just for your last line. We all know that rain never falls on women (though they hold up umbrellas to try to mask this fact). The evidence is all around you!

Speedlines
Speedlines
13 years ago

I know a few guys who would pay good money to be spat on by multiple women. Maybe that’s what MRAL means.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

By “spitting on me” I mean women treated me like I was shit on their shoe, not even worth looking at. It’s polite to smile at someone and nod like a human being, but the bitches and fucking assholes turn away like I’m subhuman. FUCK them.

chocomintlipwax
13 years ago

@kirby
It rained today, but it didn’t touch me. It was like I had some kind of forcefield around me, and all the rain bounced off.

(Oh wait, that was the umbrella. ONLY WOMEN CARRY UMBRELLAS <–TRUFAX)

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

MRAL: I’d like you to go outside, perhaps today, perhaps tomorrow (timezones and all that), and walk down the street. I’d like you to count two things, the number of times someone passes you without acknowledging you, and the number of times you don’t smile and nod at them. It could be enlightening.

The point? That nobody smiles and nods at everyone that passes them by. And if you do actually have a deformity, it is likely that they will try to avoid staring (trying not to make you feel uncomfortable) and therefore appear to turn away.

This is a far cry from ejecting bodily fluids into your face.

chocomintlipwax
13 years ago

OhhHHHhhhh … now we get to the heart of the matter–MRAL thinks that women have nothing better to do than nod and smile at him on the sidewalk, in Walmart, and wherever else he happens to be. Because we owe him that, due to his mighty, mighty cocker spaniel.

In 50 years, MRAL will be that old guy in the supermarket who walks by young women in the produce section and demands, “SMILE, HONEY!” like the female population of the world fucking owes him smiles for all his years on the planet.

Yeah, screw you, old guy. Screw you. My time and my facial muscles are my own. They aren’t owned by the men around me.

Major Mangina
Major Mangina
13 years ago

This is fracking hilarious. Being “spat upon” by a cartoon creation is somehow equal to civil rights struggles, womens rights, Fascist and Nazis, commies and other created and glorified “enemies” of the white, dominant, controlling majority. I have never seen in history, such a dominant majority for so many centuries, feel so persecuted, so maligned, and marginalized, and quite frankly wussies, when their peers challenged their little dicks. Get over it MRA whiners. Equality may suck and karma may suck worse, but you can do better at moving into the 21st century as we know it. Why is equality of all beings so threatening? Sheeze……

Snowy
Snowy
13 years ago

What? Every single person you interacted with didn’t smile and nod at you? I guess the invasion hasn’t reached you yet MRAL, those were normal people not pod people.

Plymouth
Plymouth
13 years ago

Oh for smurf’s sake! So, for reals, everyone I don’t smile and nod at I not-so-smurfing-secretly think is shit and metaphorically spitting on? That’s, um, pretty smurfing special. Considering that’s like 100 smurfing people a day, roughly half of who are FEMALE. God I just smurfing hate everyone!

NEWSFLASH: NOT EVERYONE IS A BARBIE DOLL WITH A PERMANENT SMILE PASTED ON THEIR FACE. You know what I fucking hate? When men (and it’s almost always men) tell me to smile. As if it’s my goddamned job to pretend they added joy to my day or something. Most people I pass on the street I feel completely indifferent towards. The guy at the coffee bar? He got a smile. He made me coffee 🙂 He actually added joy to my day 🙂 Mmmm, coffee.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Interesting, it could be that they are worried about offending you if you have a visible disfigurement by looking at you.

Or it could be that you live in a town where to look at a person means that you will get shot.

Or it means you need to read more Cracked.com. 6 Things That Annoy You Every Day (Explained By Science). “Modern city dwellers must wade through thousands of potential social interactions every day. In order to deal with this, they must be selective about what they focus on. This leads them to unconsciously ignore “unimportant” information, whether it’s a flashing strip club advertisement or an injured kitten. (Or some random stranger who got his information on what people should do from a movie and assumes that the other people are just being jerks.)”

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

It’s interesting then that only the men smile at me, not the women. Why? Because men don’t measure my worth based on things I can’t control, while the FUCKING BITCHES look down upon me from a goddamn ivory tower like the ELITIST PRIVILEGE FUCKS they are.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

From the same article: “Another thing that social scientists have noted is that although most impersonal city interaction seems rude, it’s actually also a form of politeness. Most of the time, people passing on the street or standing together in an elevator are not really ignoring each other.

Instead, we’ll acknowledge the other person by looking at him briefly without eye contact and then looking away. This is called “civil inattention,” and it works by letting the other person know that you see him, but are respecting his right to privacy. If we urbanites really didn’t care about the people around us, we’d do stuff like point and stare if someone was wearing a funny hat. This technique allows us to walk the line between total blanking and overfamiliar creepiness, a balance that is of desperate importance when the crowded subway is forcing our elbow into someone’s crotch.”

amandajane5
amandajane5
13 years ago

Dear MRAL,

Women, this is true, have lives also! Completely separate from yours! Really! So when you pass them in the street, they may be having a bad day for a wide variety of different reasons. You don’t know them, so you don’t know whether or not they are. That doesn’t mean that they’re “spitting on” you when they don’t smile and nod, it may very well mean they didn’t notice you, or are preoccupied with something else, or a million different things.

Seriously, grow up and get a life!

amandajane5
amandajane5
13 years ago

Oh dear, I’m too late, we’re back to all being fucking bitches again. *sigh*

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

Really, MRAL? All the men smile at you? Even the alphas? I thought the alpha men tolerated the beta men, but alphas and betas both look down on the omegas. Get your (totally made-up) story straight, man!

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

So amanda every woman has a bad day, all the time, while no man ever does? Cause that’s the only way it makes sense.

It’s not just “not smiling”. It’s often actively TURNING AWAY (subtly, but I can tell through years of this shit) like they’re too fucking good even to look at me. FUCK THEM. I want to beat the shit out of one of those snotty FUCKS, and that’s not misogynist because I’d want to do it to a rude man too, but THERE ARE NO RUDE MEN!

Plymouth
Plymouth
13 years ago

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth – that link is awesome! It’s so true. And even I, surly urban bostonian (ok I don’t live there now but it’s what I was raised on) am more likely to nod and acknowledge (though I usually still don’t smile) a single person walking down an otherwise empty street than I am to nod at EVERY SMURFING PERSON ON A CROWDED TRAIN CAR. Yeah, I got smurf to do, thanks 🙂

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

Thing is, alphas make up a fraction of the population, so maybe they are rude but I don’t see them much, it’s just my beta and omega brothers, the underclass because of the FUCKING B I T C H E S.I HATE THIS.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Why do I think that MRAL lives in a place like Saudi Arabia where women are not supposed to look at men and he is ASSUMING it is about how they are all stuck up women?

Snowy
Snowy
13 years ago

Oh really? FUCK YOU! Was that rude enough for you?

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Plymouth-Cracked is pretty awesome and most of their stuff seems to check out. You could wastes hours just reading them.

And MRAL-read the link m’kay? It will smurf you good.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
13 years ago

@MRAL
No rude men? NO RUDE MEN? I’ll show you a rude man you sonova… Oh… heh heh, gotcha.

Seriously though, if for years you are convincing yourself that people are out to get you, then you will train yourself to pick up on the slightest motion and interpret it as a threat. You are delusional, in a very literal sense. And this delusion won’t go away until you start giving others the same benefit of the doubt that you would like to be given (yes, even dose evil womynz)