As I’ve pointed out before, the vast majority of Men’s Rights Activists aren’t really activists at all, if by “activists” you mean people who occasionally get off their asses and try to engage in political activity in the real world. As I put in in my piece for the Good Men Project on misogyny in the Men’s Rights movement,
Men’s rights activists aren’t much like any other activists I’ve ever run across. For one thing, for supposed activists they are almost completely inactive. Sure, they complain endlessly about things they see as terrible injustices against men. They just don’t do anything about them. While some of those who consider themselves fathers’ rights activists—a slightly different breed from your garden-variety MRAs—try to influence laws and legislatures, MRAs do little more than cultivate their resentments.
MRAs seem to be good at one thing, and one thing only: posting angry comments on websites, whether their own or on those of their many enemies – whether that’s on blogs like this one or in the comments section on various mainstream media sites they consider “misandrist.” (Actually: that’s not entirely fair – on a few occasions, MRAs have been moved to make threatening phone calls as well.) They don’t raise money for anything but their own web sites and their pet projects. They don’t organize demonstrations that involve more than a tiny handful of people. Like, for example, this one, involving one dude dressed like Batman who climbed up onto a highway sign:
Or this one, which involved a dude dressed up as Batman and a dude dressed up as Robin, climbing up on a bridge.
If your protests typically involve fewer people than, say, the line of people waiting to use the Redbox video rental kiosk outside your local supermarket on a Friday night, I think it’s safe to say that yours is not a mass movement, at least not yet.
Am I being unfair in demanding MRAs actually, literally,get off their asses before I consider them to be activists? Perhaps.
But, as it turns out, MRAs aren’t much good at sitting-on-your-ass activism either. Case in point: For quite some time – weeks? months? — MRA elder Paul Elam has been urging readers of his blog A Voice For Men to sign a petition to disbar a District Attorney he and other MRAs have decided is corrupt. But despite his repeated pleas to his readers to sign the thing, it has not yet garnered the required 1000 signatures, even though at least a few of his readers have talked about signing it more than once. [Edited to add: it has now gotten more than 1000 signaturesd.]
Today, this particular example of internet inactivism prompted Elam to lash out at his non-signing readers. Declaring himself “tired and frustrated” and “sick of this shit,” he once again begged his readers to sign. Then he went a step further, suggesting that he might limit commenting on his site to “activists that are contributing to this site in one way or another” as a way of encouraging activism and discouraging those who are “sucking up air and doing little else.”
I don’t think further exhortation on his part – or limiting the comments there to “real” activists only – is likely to make much difference. [Edited to add: Nagging a few more people to spend two minutes signing an online petition is one thing. Actually transforming them into real activists is another.] Elam is running up against the inherent paradox of Men’s Rights “activism” – the fact that most of those complaining the most about alleged injustices against men are not in fact interested in changing anything. Their “activism,” as it were, is little more than an excuse to wallow in their own bitterness, and to blame others for their own problems.
If MRAs really cared about domestic violence against men – as opposed to using the issue as a rhetorical weapon against feminists – they would be raising money and devoting their time to actually building shelters, like the (mostly) women who built the first shelters decades ago, and the (mostly) women who keep these shelters going today. If MRAs were really interested in stopping prison rape, instead of simply complaining about it, they’d be donating money to or working with the advocacy group Just Detention or other groups concerned about the treatment of prisoners. If they were really interested in helping those falsely accused of rape or other crimes, they’d be working with The Innocence Project or some other group fighting for the falsely accused or convicted. Or they would be starting real organizations of their own.
But that’s not, at heart, what the MRM is about. For all but a tiny handful of real activists, it’s not about changing the world. It’s about creating a space where men can kvetch and blame and cultivate their own sense of martyrdom. Actually trying to change the real world would involve , well, going out into the real world, a place where their assertions about the alleged oppression of men are seen as the nonsense they are, a place where their bitterness and hatred of women is seen as bitterness and hatred rather than the righteous anger they like to imagine that it is.
When MRAs do venture out of their self-created bubble they tend to either make fools of themselves – like Batman on the highway sign in the video above – or to reveal themselves to be the angry fanatics they are. Elam, for his part, sometimes even has trouble making his case in the relatively sympathetic environment of the Men’s Rights subreddit on Reddit, and is quickly reduced to sputtering rage when anyone disagrees with him. In the end, sputtering rage seems to be what the MRM is really all about.
You just don’t understand. They would love to actually do stuff, but between all the misandry and reverse racism and heightism and their hideously deformed eyes, <a href="http://manboobz.com/2011/05/05/desperately-seeking-ubermenschen/comment-page-6/#comment-16614" they just don't have time!
Well written and enjoyable read.
I’m frightened that what we’re seeing with the MRA/MRM groups is the the first stages of hate group formation.
Well, to be fair, most of the feminist activism I do is blogging…
…and talking to my friends about why they shouldn’t make rape jokes, and converting my boyfriend to full-out feminism, and phonebanking and canvassing for Planned Parenthood, and writing letters to congresspeople, and posting interesting articles on my Facebook…
Reading MRA comments boils down to – basically – who has the most toys. Those MGTOW don’t spend their time being mentors to young boys or working in their community, they build “hot” cars and talk about how much they work out. It’s classic narcissism. I’m just thrilled they so rarely breed and therefore are Darwining themselves out of gene pool.
Ozy, you show off. 🙂
Oh, noes! What happened to the “rank and file generals”?!? Say it ain’t so, male-spelled-backward, say it ain’t so. Still, I bet your mirror will sign the petition, oh, wait…
[Not that Elam would appreciate the irony, but is anyone else chortling that he’s being reduced to nagging his groupies? Hold up, Paul, I got some Midol coming your way–just don’t steal anyone’s sperm or wallet in the meantime]
My point is: except for gender studies classes and blogging, feminism doesn’t take up much of my time at all. And yet somehow I still manage to do things in the Real World with positive effects. MRAs are just lazy as fuck.
so is he finally getting it that they don’t actually care about changing anything? That all they want to do is bitch, moan and be online misogynists?
There are a shit ton of femidumbasses who simply sit at their computers to bitch about imaginary instances f “sexism” and “misogyny”.
There are a shit ton of femidumbasses who simply sit at their computers to bitch about imaginary instances f “sexism” and “misogyny”.
Seriously, “I know you are, but what am I?” isn’t a real argument.
And stealthily work on the Marriage Strike. Figure out ways to ignore women while looking smug. How to be a Total Asshole because that’s what really makes women tingle and want you.
I can’t even write that without cracking up.
yeah that’s why I am on a first name basis with the CEO of planned parenthood in my state, because all I do is bitch about misogyny on the internet. I happen to be a reproductive justice and anti rape activist. This means that I fundraise, campaign, organize and lead protests, speak before my state congress etc. So my questions for you
what have you personally, not some other MRA but YOU done to further the goals of the MRM?
MRAL I’ll accept your “but you only bitch on the internets too” line if you can name a charity that I can give money to in support of male-centric issues.
I’m sure that at the drop of a hat every regular manboobz supporter here can list at least 5 female- and family-centric charities off the top of their head, not to mention how many bloggers have raised money for said charities.
The OP is about there not being the “other side” despite an internet presence, so pointing at the similar internet presences misses the point entirely.
Fathers4Justice is small group that seem to get their activist boots on from time to time. I haven’t read much about them but they do seem to be a step up from the now defunct ball of militant crazy that was the Black Shirts.
But I agree for the most part that the Mens Rights “Movement” consists of a handful of self-isolated forums and blogs. That receive little to no coverage in the main stream media. As someone who is an active contributor to various causes and who associates with self-motivated people who are very adept at getting the message out and rattling the right cages and yielding results. I do get frustrated on the MRA’s behalf because there is a total lack of getting shit done outside of occasionally leaving angry comments and trying to derail/co-opt the conversation in the comments section of various feminist blogs.
The only media coverage of their “movement” I can recall in recent history is that guy humiliating himself on the Colbert Report. And it’s a shame because there are areas where men get a raw deal and inequalities exist, but the MRM in it’s current form won’t make any positive changes especially as they frame their world view as women/feminists being the cause of all their problems.
to prove kodiak’s point
1. make a wish
2. planned parenthood
3. RAINN
4. VDAY
5. Doctors without borders
those are just a few of the places that I send money to
every year
Well, we can’t blame a single “activist” for not doing something productive; I don’t. But of course the MRM as a whole isn’t doing squat to appeal for “men’s rights,” while feminists have turned society on its head in the last 100-odd years.
“But that’s not, at heart, what the MRM is about. For all but a tiny handful of real activists, it’s not about changing the world. It’s about creating a space where men can kvetch and blame and cultivate their own sense of martyrdom.” – OP
This. This entirely.
Hey, every social movement has it’s tactics. The labor movement had the sit-down strike. The civil rights movement had the lunch counter sit-in. Now the MRM has the sit-on-your-ass-and-whine-until-everyone-gives-you-what-you-want campaign.
The litmus test for whether someone wants actual change or just wants to complain: If you provide him/her conclusive evidence that the situation isn’t as bad as he/she thought, how does he/she respond?
Someone who actually wants change will be happy. An MRA will get angry and refuse to believe you.
So, I actually don’t give a lot of money to charities, and I don’t call my representatives on political issues all that often, I volunteer for a political candidate once in a while and I’ve given money to several, though my main issue politically is actually environmental protection not women’s rights.
What am I actually doing to advance gender equality? Well, I’m being a female engineer in a male-dominated field. I am in fact the only female engineer in my group. I’m not doing that for political reasons though – I’m doing that because I like it. Then again, I never claimed to be a feminist. Or an activist.
And the reason I hang out on this blog is for the LOLz 🙂
I like how Paul Elam started his article with “I’m not trying to tell anyone what to do…” He has, indeed, asked his readers to sign the petition more than once in the recent past, and some of them have done that – creating extra e-mail addresses and making up names. So he’ll get his 1,000 signatures, but it won’t have been signed by 1,000 unique individuals. And a lot of them don’t even live in the U.S. – they’re learning U.S. zip codes and signing it. His “growing” movement is really very tiny, isn’t it? I also read his posts on reddit because it’s amusing to see how he sputters with rage with anyone who doesn’t agree with his opinion. Boy, does he ever. He is an extremely arrogant person.
kodiak, I mentioned several organization in the post that do work on issues that (mostly) affect men: Just Detention, fighting prisoner rape and other mistreatment and project innocence.
EDIT: I misread kodiak’s comment, so I reworded this.
I’d like to add that I’ve seen Bill Price begging people to sign it on The-Spearhead and SAVE Services has been posting it all over Facebook begging people to sign, and several commenters on Elam’s website have claimed to have also posted it and asked people to sign AND they still can’t get 1,000 individuals to sign it. They probably have half that in reality, but I’m sure they won’t tell the people they plan to present it to in Maine that.
Anyone notice the current poll on AVfM deriding the recent protests in Toronto against victim blaming in sexual assault cases? This pretty much encapsulates everything that’s wrong with MRM. On one side you have a movement that sprang up in a matter of weeks, organized, rallied support, got boots on the ground, liaised with the media to get their message out and quickly went global. On the other you have the MRM who after a decade has remained a fringe group that most men would find unappealing whose “activism” consists of circle-jerking on some blogs and burying real issues with their personal grievances and conspiratorial/bigoted rhetoric.
The only hope for the MRM to make any sort of positive change is for one of the more moderate collectives such as the Mensrights forum on Reddit to start doing something pro-active. But I won’t hold my breath.
Here’s the poll (didn’t someone hold up Paul Elam as a moderate rational voice in the MRM?:
Ozy- yes, me too, esp, the Facebook article posting- I actually was approached in public (!) by an MRA as a result of him reading one article post of mine (visible by ‘everyone’)- had it been earlier in the night, I would have been more afraid of him. I kind of ran away and yelled, “See a dentist!”. I hope he heeded my advice. He wanted to talk about how women initiate almost all physical abuse by their (male) partners…
white knight– Elam and other MRAs have written some pretty awful stuff about the slutwalks; I’ll be doing a post on that soon.
doctress julia — you can’t just leave us with that! more details please!