In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. And, at least if he’s straight, vaginas. Even if this young man happens to be a not-so-young man, and one who is defiantly Going His Own Way and thus theoretically immune to the vagina’s siren song. At least that’s the case with one regular over on the Happy Bachelors forum who recently set forth some intriguing theories on vaginas. Specifically, vaginas older than 25. What “Superbad” calls his “Golden Vagina Rule” is pretty simple: “Don’t trust any vagina over 25.” As he explained in a recent thread:
Social commentary written (or spoken) by a woman whose vagina is over 25 years old can be considered mostly bullshit. Null and void. And here is why. You cannot expect a woman, whose primary function is to make babies (aka attract men), to be anything but bitter or dishonest after her eggs and looks start to go. …
And why is this? According to Superbad,
when a woman’s sexuality declines (whored out, dried up vagina, menopause, postpartum depression, psychologically-induced frigidity, insanity, etc.) that she starts blaming men and talking a lot of hate and nonsense.
Just a few quick notes here: Female sexuality is not a finite resource; you cannot use it up by having sex on a regular basis. Nor do vaginas dry up like dead flowers when a woman passes the age of 25. Generally speaking, when a woman is interested in having sex with you, and you don’t just shove your dick in her without so much as a “how do you do,” lubrication is not a problem. If it is, for whatever reason, you can purchase bottles of lubricant at the local drug store. (This is also, FYI, how people are able to have butt sex.) Also, the average age of menopause is 51, not 25; though many believe menopause kills libido and “dries up” the vagina, this is probably a myth.
Oh, and also: mocking women for aging and/or suffering postpartum depression is not just a douchey thing to do, it’s practically psychopathic. Yes, physical beauty fades – eventually – for women and men alike. But having a complete and utter lack of empathy for your fellow human beings is an unattractive quality at any age. Speaking of unattractive beliefs, let’s continue:
The down side of people living longer, is that most women are going to be ugly for vast majority of their lives. That is obviously going to breed resentment and animosity. A woman’s time in the sun is brief. A man becomes more powerful with age. But a woman never gets any prettier. … Feminism has become a way for the uglier, older, less-fertile women to CONTROL young, virile girl’s orgasms and their sexuality.
At this point I feel I should remind Mr. Bad that the word “virile” actually means “manly,” in a general sense; more specifically, it means “capable of functioning as a male in copulation.” If you are interested in women with such capability — hey, let your kink flag fly! – there are several options available to you. (One of them may involve the purchase of equipment; they will all involve the lube I spoke of earlier.) If this isn’t what you want, you may wish to reword your post, and perhaps any dating profiles you may have put up on DoucheMatch.com or PlentyOfCompleteFuckingAssholes or wherever the fuck you may have put them up, so as to ward off any possible confusion on this point.
Superbad continues:
If you think women hate men; trust me, they’d just assume [sic] claw each others eyes out. And here is where a happy bachelor differs. Older men don’t feel the need to compete with younger men. Older men feel a bond with younger men. It is our duty to teach them and pass down any knowledge. We live in a world where the enemy is no longer a bear or tribal war. The enemy is packaged as pretty as a peacock: MARRIAGE. It is a way to sell the old vagina.
Let’s try to work out the logic here. According to Superbad, marriage is a dastardly plot by evil feminists to bind men to vaginas over the age of 25, and presumably the women hosting them as well, who by definition are dried-up, whored-out ugly monsters (both the women and the vaginas, presumably).
Feminists are also trying to “CONTROL” the sexuality of young, fertile (yet also virile) women/vaginas, presumably by keeping them from having sex with … Superbad, who, as a Man Going His Own Way, doesn’t even want to be with women in the first place?
The ideal world, evidently, is one in which men of all ages get to have sex with under-25 vaginas (and their women), and are free to reject outright all women/vaginas older than that. In order to accommodate men of all ages, of course, these young women/vaginas will have to have sex with lots of different men. This will, of course, make them, by Superbad’s reckoning, “whores.”
Forget the old virgin-whore dichotomy; in Superbad’s sexual utopia all women/vaginas will pass through three stages: starting out virgins, they will, for a brief period in their late teens and early twenties, be whores; then, after the age of 25, they will be consigned to the whore-heap of history and become hags.
Superbad has it all figured out. And, as he explains in another comment, these poor gals will have no one but the feminists to blame:
[N]on-fertile women (read: ugly, old, bitchy) are always mad when they see young girls worshiping our cocks… old habits die hard. women are lazy. feminism requires women to get off their fat asses, work, and compete with smarter/stronger beings. most get a taste of “feminism”: working retail and getting fvcked/chucked monthly… and then end up online, looking for a “real man”. but, unfortunately, all the boys that the last generation of femi-turds raised are wimps. so, ladies, here is the game plan. get on your knees when young (so we can rent your mouth and vagina) and THEN, later, wise up, get angry, and MAN UP… and live alone with your cats. Feel free to get online as an old bat and “school” us men. LOL
Yes, Superbad has appended a “LOL” to the tail end of his comment, as if it were some sort of Internet-age equivalent to the more traditional Q.E.D. (Pro-tip: It’s not.) Still, his comments did make me LOL a little, or at least chuckle quietly to myself. Not with you, Superbad. At you.
NOTE: If you didn’t get that reference to “carrousel” earlier, perhaps this scene from Logan’s Run will jog your memory:
Pecunium – Hey, does your housemate’s name start with an L and the city you live in start with an E? I think I know you! *waves* Fancy meeting you here 🙂
MRAL – So, while I understand that some people are more flexible about age, I can totally understand why you at age 20 would not want to be dating women over age 30. As someone who has never dated anyone more than about 5 years different in age from myself I can totally sympathize with that. However, saying that those people are therefore unattractive TO EVERYONE strikes me as both ridiculous and counter to your interests. Right now I am 35 and engaged to a boy who is 33. At age 20 there is NO WAY I would have considered dating a 33 year old, but at age 35 it seems utterly reasonable. Most people’s preferences DO age as they age.
If you, as a 20 year old, want to be able to find women in your age range to date, why would you support a system in which older women are considered expired? Wouldn’t you want older men to be dating them so that you’re not competing with those older men for the small segment of desirable women in your age range? And if men of all ages are really only interested in women under 25 or 32 or 38 or whatever arbitrary cut-off you choose, HOW ON EARTH can you blame feminism for that? The feminists here are the ones asserting that women of all ages and sizes are attractive, to someone if not all people. Don’t you want to live in a world that’s not stacked wildly against you in terms of the number of women that are being competed for? If hot 18-25 year olds don’t want to date you I am utterly confused as to how that has ANYTHING to do with feminism. I just… don’t get it.
I turn 36 in a week or so, and- oMG! I am STILL HOT! Men and women of all kinds approach me- from college-aged dudes/women to sexy silver foxes! I only fuck pro-feminist men, though- this is how I ensure that I will be properly ‘satisfied’. Yyeahhh… :9
How is it that, contrary to MRAL’s uh, ‘theory’, I am not a dried-up old hag? When am I going to stop being hot? When is my ‘expiration date’? /s LOL
I’m not disputing that *you* don’t want to watch it; I dispute that *no one* wants to watch it. Not everyone is you, luckily.
“40 is pretty old for all the sexy stuff but at that point I feel like you should have gotten your fill of it.”
Dude, I’m turning 40 late this year and believe me, there’s no fucking way I’ve had my fill of it. My husband is over 40, and he hasn’t either.
You embittered misogynist whippersnappers are full of all kinds of nutty, wrongheaded ideas. you might want to turn off the porn, put down your laptop, and go someplace where there are real people. Life really doesn’t suck as much as you’ve decided it does.
I wonder if Logan 5 is descended from Basil Exposition?
Just catching up here. I was offline for awhile and there were a bunch of comments from first-time commenters here that were stuck in moderation, and they’re up now. I’d suggest everyone page back to the first page of comments to read them.
Plymouth: Why yes, yes, you do know of whom I speak. She point this place out to me.
As for the idiot with the, “solution”… I have female friends. I have sisters. I may have daughters. I have partners.
I also have firearms, swords, knives, wire, axes, rakes, shovels, and implements of destruction. I spent 16 years in the army, and did a combat tour in Iraq (OIF-1). I have friends.
Let him (and his ilk) try. Someone is going to get buried because I, for one, refuse to live in such a place.
Even in Saudi Arabia or heck, the Afghanistan, the extreme fringes do not have such ideas as this Jabberwonky person.
This man should go and live among those who practice nearly what he likes and see how bad society is.
My wife is 43 and she is stunning in a turn your head kind of a way. She has that earth goddess appeal where she turns out of bed in the morning and sometimes never looks in the mirror. She believes,
and I kid you not that her hair is initialed to do what it wants to do that day.
But that’s not why I love her, I love her because she is kind. She’s the kind of person who would have lived with the lepers in days past. She could gain 200 pounds and her kindness would still radiate her beauty . It shows in her face, no wrinkles yet but when they do develop they will be laugh lines and that’s going to be beautiful.
And not to be crude but she loves sex and I love her body, and she loves mine. Growing old together is a wonderful thing.
MRAL wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t questioning what he’s been taught by the mra I believe. I’m hoping he’s going to be o.k and part of it will be the real empathy he’s been shown here. Not the enabling he gets.
What’s interesting is that as time passes and I age, I get happier. I know I don’t look how I did when I was 20, but I have much more wisdom now than I did then. I am more assertive, confident, and I don’t take small stuff as seriously anymore. When I was younger, I had low self esteem, and I let others boss me around because I thought being a doormat was a good way to make friends. Now I speak up for myself without feeling guilty. All of my life experiences have made me who I am today, and I’m glad I’ve had them.
You can’t grow old with a woman if you despise mature women. I really hope that my husband and I will be lucky enough to someday be one of those elderly couples celebrating their golden anniversary. Superbad will never get to experience meaningful relationships because he judges women solely on looks.
At this point I must admit I am waaay over 25, fat AND unshaven and I have great, loving, hot, one on one, boy/girl, multiorgasmic for both of us, sex. Which he may not want to watch, but indeed MRAL wishes he had. That My Dears, is the difference bwtween choosing compassion or choosing bitterness.
Kenda, I think a lot of people are happier when they’re older. The twenties are a difficult decade, full of angst and drama, for a lot of people. I think as people get older they grow willing to cut people more slack on physical “flaws,” and a lot less slack for being assholes or otherwise abusive.
@Pecunium:
“I also have firearms, swords, knives, wire, axes, rakes, shovels, and implements of destruction. I spent 16 years in the army, and did a combat tour in Iraq (OIF-1). I have friends.
Let him (and his ilk) try. Someone is going to get buried because I, for one, refuse to live in such a place.”
Right with you there, only without the combat tour. I’m a gunsmith and I’ve been working on firearms for over half my life. Plus, every single person in my family including our former roommate and our partner who lives in her own place have all received basic instruction in firearms and other forms of self-defense. And my wife isn’t happy unless what she’s firing can’t either a). hit something in the next county over or b). treat cold-rolled 1/4″ steel plate like it’s wet cardboard.
These nitwits basically think they’re going to roll their little social policies right over top of any of us who object because they’ve got this wrongheaded idea that we’re all pacifists or something.
I’ve been wondering this for awhile now, but MRAL what do you consider fat?
You seem to be including chubby woman under the fat label. I mean where does skinny end and fat begin? I’ve always felt that I was neither skinny nor fat….so I’m genuinely confused about this skinny/fat dichotomy. Where do us chubby/curvy women fit in your greek hierarchy? I’m not being sarcastic. I am genuinely interested in where one stops being skinny and starts being fat.
Ms. Wings: IIRC he thinks the cutoff is BMI > 25
I’m 22, young and wet-vaginaed, fairly hot, fairly slim, love sex, still wouldn’t fuck an MRA whatever he looked like.
My boyfriend is scruffy and 5’7. We’re in love, which means I don’t really mind when he forgets to shave or brush his hair, and he doesn’t mind if I go without makeup. I can’t see either of us caring about the other getting wrinkles. If we noticed, we spend a lot of time going out, having fun, playing video games, watching movies, just doing stuff happy couples do. Money is 50/50, neither of us are gainfully employed at the moment.
Oh, and get this, I was fat when we started dating, and he didn’t care! And he isn’t especially attracted to fat or thin women! Real life is crazy, huh?
Also, feminism did wonders for my orgasms. Before I was into all that Freudian bullshit about vaginal orgasm being more ‘mature’. In fact, most of the feminists I meet seem much more comfortable with sex and their bodies than non-feminists.
Er… BMI is a medical orientated term. If you are above 25 then you are overweight. The equations break down if you are too short or too tall but most western women and men fall squarely in the normal parameters.
Unless you look like Conan Era Arnie you are probably overweight if you are above 25. It’s not a giant conspiracy by the fashionistas or the MRAs or the beautiful people. It is a medical thing.
BMI is pretty accurate for most people bar the amputees and the insanely fit. That attitude is prevalent in roughly a quarter of people who are medically obese. Doctors tend to encourage people to lose weight not by following fad diets but by actual nutrition which doesn’t earn us anything.
Yet you will still have people defy us and declare us to have “no idea” about the flaws of BMI.
The real flaw of BMI is actually something worse than you think. BMI has high specificity but low sensitivity.
The real medical judge of obesity is BF%, 99% of BMI obese people are Body Fat % obese. However only 50% of BF% obese people are BMI obese.
Look you aren’t losing anything by maintaining a healthy weight. I know I am overweight (87 Kg and need to be below 80) so I will try and lose weight.
If you are above a BMI of 25 chances are you are fat unless you are a professional athelete. Since chances are most of us are not professional atheletes (or amputees), we are fat. Having an issue with the label is pointless because the label is medical rather than determined by MRAs. It is the one time they are “right” but for silly reasons.
Yes on average us fatties are unattractive. Individual people may enjoy a good chubby partner but most people these days think a sensible BMI is attractive.
Upto 40% of americans are obese. This isn’t research by Marie Claire, this is work done by people like the Lancet and American Public Health Papers. It’s an epidemic that needs fixing not us pussyfooting around.
And be thankful, I am ethnically indian. 23 is the cut off for asian obesity medically speaking.
@Avicenna, I suggest you actually look into what the Lancet says about BMI, because they recently ran several editions roundly denouncing it. Also, there are huge amounts of data regarding the innacuracy of BMI in women and racial minorities. BMI is not a good predictor of body fat percentage (which you admit yourself) or of health outcomes (in anyone but cis white American men in population terms rather than specific cases). A number of studies in the US and the UK have found better health outcomes in heart disease patients in their samples with high BMI compared to those with low BMI. Also, Americans did not suddenly get fatter, we changed the measurement so that we counted more people as fat. The old body fat pincers method was getting lower numbers, not higher, particularly in women. Assuming that high BMI=unhealthy and low BMI=healthy is asinine. Assuming that you know jack about someone else’s health based on their size is even more foolish.
Also love how you think that 40% of people are homely. Apparantly, the rest of the population has yet to catch on and quit fucking them.
Somebody needs to make a T-shirt which reads:
I REJECT YOUR SPERM.
Yes, you.
I will wear one every Friday night.
I love how politically correct fyminists will go to any length to denounce any measurement of obesity. Sure, BMI may not be specifically calibrated for certain minorities, but here’s a protip: If you have a BMI of 30, you’re fat. No matter who you are.
Darksidecat….
The lancet’s research was that BMI’s lack of sensitivity means that we are missing out people. We need to use the body fat percentage meters because BMI is missing people out.
However people who are overweight and obese in BMI are nearly always overweight in body fat percentage meters (Which work by conductivity and resistance).
BMI is a pretty decent indicator of health outcomes. It’s not rocket science, but not every fat guy is going to die of a heart attack. There are umpteen other diseases out there. In the same way that not every smoker is going to get lung cancer and you are more likely to die from COPD rather than lung cancer. Obesity means that there is a range of health issues out there that can kick your head in.
In people with heart failure, those with a BMI between 30.0–34.9 had lower mortality than those with a normal weight. This has been attributed to the fact that people often lose weight as they become progressively more ill. This is called the Obesity Paradox.
However this does not take into account how many people of normal BMI have heart disease compared to people with high BMIs.
No seriously, these arguments are done by people who wish to defend their obesity misrepresenting actual research. The actual research says that losing weight is better and does cut down a lot of issues (CVS, Rheumatic, Endocrine, Psychiatry, Orthopaedic, Urology, Pulmonary, Oncological, Gastrointestinal and Dermatological)
It’s not just “heart attacks”. Not all of us are built the same genetically, some of us have to put up work to lose weight. I see people eat entire pizzas and not put on an ounce. I eat three slices and explode.
40% of people are obese not homely. Are you seriously suggesting that internet research = medical training? Come on you are better than that. The doctors are right. One in four people who are obese do not think they are obese and actively seek excuses. I have had people suggest they had prader willi syndrome than admit that they had no control over their eating.
Just because something is acceptable in some parts of the world doesn’t make it acceptable when you know how bad it is for you. No one is saying “NO CHEESEBURGERS” but we are saying “restraint”.
But ultimately it is your life, don’t expect medical personnel to say it is a healthy lifestyle though when we know it is linked to other issues and don’t expect people to universally accept your idea that it is beautiful. Beauty is subjective, countless people do not like bald men, countless people do. Just because people like chubby people doesn’t mean it is an acceptable thing to be. It sounds harsh and it probably is but quite frankly walking on eggshells around the issue is harming people.
When I was nine months pregnant, my BMI was 28. I had gained 40 pounds during pregnancy, going from 115 to 155 lb. My obstetrician said the weight gain was crucial to have a healthy baby. That means the BMI chart was nonsense. Are pregnant women supposed to starve themselves during pregnancy? Both of my children weighed seven pounds at birth, and if I didn’t eat well, they would have been too small.
Come on. Look that argument is terrible. It’s positively atrocious.
If you are pregnant you are going to put on weight because you are in a situation where you need that weight physiologically for the purpose of child birth. After that you don’t need the weight and infact the next child will cause a further ballooning of weight.
And overweight mothers have issues with their children too such as high birth weight and gestational diabetes. The stats show higher infant mortality due to eclampsia.
And of course BMI does not work for pregnant women because pregnancy is not the normal state for a woman. It is a state of genesis of a baby during which normal rules are suspended.
Do not diet if you are pregnant and overweight, the issue is that prior to pregnancy the weight should be maintained in the sensible limit.
And if you are 28 with a weight of 155 pounds that means you are roughly 5 ft 2. Working back you NORMALLY have a BMI of 21 which is slap bang in the middle of normal weight.
We can make up a BMI for pregnant women but it is ultimately pointless since it is a physical state of 9 months that in western women occurs roughly twice in their lives. What we are worried about is during normal functioning.