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Don’t Trust Any Vagina Over Twenty-five

Marilyn Monroe, 8 years past her expiration date.

In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. And, at least if he’s straight, vaginas. Even if this young man happens to be a not-so-young man, and one who is defiantly Going His Own Way and thus theoretically immune to the vagina’s siren song. At least that’s the case with one regular over on the Happy Bachelors forum who recently set forth some intriguing theories on vaginas. Specifically, vaginas older than 25. What “Superbad” calls his “Golden Vagina Rule” is pretty simple: “Don’t trust any vagina over 25.” As he explained in a recent thread:

Social commentary written (or spoken) by a woman whose vagina is over 25 years old can be considered mostly bullshit. Null and void. And here is why. You cannot expect a woman, whose primary function is to make babies (aka attract men), to be anything but bitter or dishonest after her eggs and looks start to go. …

And why is this? According to Superbad,

when a woman’s sexuality declines (whored out, dried up vagina, menopause, postpartum depression, psychologically-induced frigidity, insanity, etc.) that she starts blaming men and talking a lot of hate and nonsense.

Just a few quick notes here: Female sexuality is not a finite resource; you cannot use it up by having sex on a regular basis. Nor do vaginas dry up like dead flowers when a woman passes the age of 25. Generally speaking, when a woman is interested in having sex with you, and you don’t just shove your dick in her without so much as a “how do you do,” lubrication is not a problem. If it is, for whatever reason, you can purchase bottles of lubricant at the local drug store. (This is also, FYI, how people are able to have butt sex.) Also, the average age of menopause is 51, not 25; though many believe menopause kills libido and “dries up” the vagina, this is probably a myth.

Oh, and also: mocking women for aging and/or suffering postpartum depression is not just a douchey thing to do, it’s practically psychopathic. Yes, physical beauty fades – eventually – for women and men alike. But having a complete and utter lack of empathy for your fellow human beings is an unattractive quality at any age. Speaking of unattractive beliefs, let’s continue:

The down side of people living longer, is that most women are going to be ugly for vast majority of their lives. That is obviously going to breed resentment and animosity. A woman’s time in the sun is brief. A man becomes more powerful with age. But a woman never gets any prettier. … Feminism has become a way for the uglier, older, less-fertile women to CONTROL young, virile girl’s orgasms and their sexuality.

At this point I feel I should remind Mr. Bad that the word “virile” actually means “manly,” in a general sense; more specifically, it means “capable of functioning as a male in copulation.” If you are interested in women with such capability — hey, let your kink flag fly! – there are several options available to you. (One of them may involve the purchase of equipment; they will all involve the lube I spoke of earlier.)  If this isn’t what you want, you may wish to reword your post, and perhaps any dating profiles you may have put up on DoucheMatch.com or PlentyOfCompleteFuckingAssholes or wherever the fuck you may have put them up, so as to ward off any possible confusion on this point.

Superbad continues:

If you think women hate men; trust me, they’d just assume [sic] claw each others eyes out. And here is where a happy bachelor differs. Older men don’t feel the need to compete with younger men. Older men feel a bond with younger men. It is our duty to teach them and pass down any knowledge. We live in a world where the enemy is no longer a bear or tribal war. The enemy is packaged as pretty as a peacock: MARRIAGE. It is a way to sell the old vagina.

Yuck! Send that old hag to Carrousel!

Let’s try to work out the logic here. According to Superbad, marriage is a dastardly plot by evil feminists to bind men to vaginas over the age of 25, and presumably the women hosting them as well, who by definition are dried-up, whored-out ugly monsters (both the women and the vaginas, presumably).

Feminists are also trying to “CONTROL” the sexuality of young, fertile (yet also virile) women/vaginas, presumably by keeping them from having sex with … Superbad, who, as a Man Going His Own Way, doesn’t even want to be with women in the first place?

The ideal world, evidently, is one in which men of all ages get to have sex with under-25 vaginas (and their women), and are free to reject outright all women/vaginas older than that. In order to accommodate men of all ages, of course, these young women/vaginas will have to have sex with lots of different men. This will, of course, make them, by Superbad’s reckoning, “whores.”

Forget the old virgin-whore dichotomy; in Superbad’s sexual utopia all women/vaginas will pass through three stages: starting out virgins, they will, for a brief period in their late teens and early twenties, be whores; then, after the age of 25, they will be consigned to the whore-heap of history and become hags.

Superbad has it all figured out.  And, as he explains in another comment, these poor gals will have no one but the feminists to blame:

[N]on-fertile women (read: ugly, old, bitchy) are always mad when they see young girls worshiping our cocks… old habits die hard. women are lazy. feminism requires women to get off their fat asses, work, and compete with smarter/stronger beings. most get a taste of “feminism”: working retail and getting fvcked/chucked monthly… and then end up online, looking for a “real man”. but, unfortunately, all the boys that the last generation of femi-turds raised are wimps. so, ladies, here is the game plan. get on your knees when young (so we can rent your mouth and vagina) and THEN, later, wise up, get angry, and MAN UP… and live alone with your cats. Feel free to get online as an old bat and “school” us men. LOL

Yes, Superbad has appended a “LOL” to the tail end of his comment, as if it were some sort of Internet-age equivalent to the more traditional Q.E.D. (Pro-tip: It’s not.) Still, his comments did make me LOL a little, or at least chuckle quietly to myself. Not with you, Superbad. At you.

NOTE: If you didn’t get that reference to “carrousel” earlier, perhaps this scene from Logan’s Run will jog your memory:

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Graham
Graham
13 years ago

MRAL – I’ve been following your comments on here for a week or so, and in some ways can sympathise with what you’re going through.

I was a dateless 20-something-year-old at one time, and like you blamed my perceived physical deformity. Life sucked, truly. All I could think of was how I wasn’t having the sex that I wanted with the women I wanted.

Just possibly, this obsession was noticeable to the women around me. Just possibly, it wasn’t an attractive trait.

Eventually I started concentrating less on the lack of sex and more on what I was able to achieve in other areas. Result: my confidence increased, I was no longer so much of a tedious prick whining about that one thing – and women magically started wanting to date me.

Not all women. Probably not what you’d call “alpha” women, but attractive fun women nonetheless. Good times were had.

And I’m REALLY glad that back then the internet didn’t exist in the form it does now. Because if it had, I might have run across the Crazy World Of MRA and been seduced by the writings of its elder scholars. And I don’t think my life would have improved as a result.

Anyway, take from that what you will and I wish you the best of luck. (Or if you’re a troll, well done. You made someone care: achievement unlocked.)

Laviana
Laviana
13 years ago

MRAL: way to go. I know, when we are young (or maybe during our whole lifes, at least some people), we tend to believe that the world resolves around us und have a hard time imagining the perspectives of other people, let alone of people of other generations, but considering all this your are still damn pretty ignorant.

Just because YOU do not want to see it or do not want something to be true, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or there aren’t people who enjoy said thing. Nor does it mean, that your perspective is shared by the majority of people (and there is a whole damn lot of old(er) people around. Being 20 is not much different from being a teenager)
You know… like little children are wrong, when they put their hands over their eyes and think you can’t see them anymore, because they can only consider their own perspective and yet lack the empathy and knowledge to consider others.

I apologise for possibly bad english, but I’m actually from Germany, so that might be why i finally wrote a response after a long time of lurking.
Also, this new commentsystem is encouraging. Thank you David.

Johnny Pez
13 years ago

@ Graham

Like you, I went through a can’t-get-laid phase in my younger days. And like you, I’ve asked myself whether I would have fallen into MRAL’s trap if there had been an online MRM back then to reinforce my worst personality traits. I can’t say for certain, but I do know that even at my worst, I was never weak-minded enough to let my standards of feminine beauty be dictated by a NO FAT CHICKS bumper sticker.

MRAL, if you’re reading this, I echo Graham’s advice: there is hope for you, but only if you drop the MRM bullshit. It’s taking you in the wrong direction.

Lee Brimmicombe-Wood
Lee Brimmicombe-Wood
13 years ago

Well I know old people have sex with old people but no one wants to see that gross stuff.

Well, you are going to be old one day. And I’ll lay good odds that when you’re in your 40s, you are going to look back on what you said here, carved on the internet for all eternity, and say ‘what an ignorant arsehole I was back then’.

Don’t worry, we all say the same about ourselves at your age. But seriously man, in this little thread you have demonstrated you know Jack. Seriously.

Maybe you should listen to the old folks a bit. The ones who have been around the block when it comes to sex and relationships. You might pick up some wisdom.

Lee Brimmicombe-Wood
Lee Brimmicombe-Wood
13 years ago

I was never weak-minded enough to let my standards of feminine beauty be dictated by a NO FAT CHICKS bumper sticker.

Sadly I was that arsehole back then. I recall one girl who was overweight but otherwise lovely, who clearly had taken a shine to me. And I blanked her because of some bullshit beauty standard.

I regret that. Like I regret many things I did back then when I was a young, self-regarding, socially inept idiot.

red_locker
13 years ago

So, 12-25= Whore, 26 and older= Hag? Wow, it’s like a yin-yang of contradictions.

BTW, MRAL, I’m 21, have been dumped, currently have no girlfriend or boyfriend (Though I do talk to/hit on people), and have been picked on a lot for being socially awkward and”ugly”. Hell, I still am socially awkward in some respects.

Guess what? Even with all of the bad shit and anger I went through (and still going through), I don’t paint people with a broad brush. I work on myself, I try to socialize, and I work real, tangible things as opposed to whining. I even went to therapy.

I had just finished some weekend work for the ShowBiz Expo at the LA Convention Center, and it was a great experience. Not just because it was in a field that I want to work in (Entertainment, specifically movies), but because I helped people out, made lots of smiles, learned new things and made some friends. Will I gain a girlfriend from it all? I dunno, but that’s alright, because at the end of the day I did something tangible and enjoyable.

You can either move forward or stay bitter. Which do you choose?

Citizen Lemonade
Citizen Lemonade
13 years ago

So let me get this straight. The vast majority of MRAs believe that, virtually without exception, women become menopausal hags at around the age of 26. Meanwhile, MRA Lieutenant believes that some women in their thirties can remain resonably attractive – and that, whisper it, the fortyish Cameron Diaz is still rather pretty.

Memo to the MRA movement.

When MRA Lieutenant is the sanest fellow in the room, you have a problem.

Avicenna
13 years ago

I think here we have the fundamental flaw in MRALs attitude.

When you start ranking people by beauty you are looking at mere physical attractiveness. That’s how you judge a one night stand not a relationship.

Beauty has nothing to do with intellect and people who are intellectually similar tend to hit it off more often. If I had to date “people on the basis of attraction” they would either very quickly dump me or very quickly get dumped by me getting bored. If I date on intellect and ability to have a laugh, I have more fun.

Because you place such a great deal on looks you end up not getting most women because most women think you are only it for the pleasure of “bagging a hot lady” rather than treating them like human beings with a brain.

MissPrism
13 years ago

Some people actually do get spat on. Spat on, as in people really spit on them with actual spit. It’s happened to friends of mine for being the wrong colour, being fat and being female. It’s a symptom of either barely-credible cluelessness, or a lack of empathy bordering on the psychotic, that MRAL uses this phrase to mean “declining to fuck him.”

Nobody gets to have sex with everyone they find attractive. However, most people do form enjoyable sexual partnerships if they aren’t boring spite-crazed self-important clots.

MissPrism
13 years ago

Eek, sorry – scratch the “psychotic”. Apologies for ableist language.

Lisa
Lisa
13 years ago

Exactly.

I’ve never actually dated a stereotypically “good looking” guy. Much as I still like some of my exes (we parted on friendly terms) and how much I love my fiancé, not a one of them is even close to the Greek God mold of male beauty.

It is quite amazing how sexy a man is when he makes you think, there’s good conversation, and you can connect with each other. The first day I met my fiancé, we talked for over 12 hours. We hung out all day and didn’t say goodnight until 1 a.m.

But, then again, that only works if one views women as interesting, fun company and worth the effort. Funny how that works; it is almost as if us wimminz are actually people.

Lisa
Lisa
13 years ago

Sorry, I meant to quote Avicenna:

“When you start ranking people by beauty you are looking at mere physical attractiveness. That’s how you judge a one night stand not a relationship.”

Vox
Vox
13 years ago

Lisa, the funny thing is that a man who actually looked like a Greek God/statue would be unhealthy.

If you look at the way those statues are carved, they have musculature that would only be visible under the worst circumstances.

/classical civilisation nerd.

Avicenna
13 years ago

Also they were painted in lurid colours making them look rather tasteless.

The girl I have a weird “fated to be” friendship with I met after being abducted by our mutual drunk russian friend with the line “You sir are wearing a dressing gown and drinking water out of a vodka bottle. We must get you real vodka.” I spent 8 hours talking solidly and carrying her drunk flatmate back from the bar.

I stole her handbag so she would talk to me the next day and she nicked my dressing gown for the same reason. Next day morning cue a giant panic from both of us running around until we ran into each other. (Neighbour). My life back then was ace.

Major Mangina
Major Mangina
13 years ago

I was drawn to look at the HB and MGTOW sites when a friend found out she was dating a hypocrite who left pecker tracks on her computer. It was like going into an alternate universe. I had never met anyone, much less a whole gang of he-man women-haters with such vitriol, ignorance, and wounded pain, who employed tactics and language to be self-defeating and perfectly designed to perputuate their chosen path of never getting laid again, at least not with anyone with a brain, feelings, and accomplishments. Their blow-up doll version of women-kind is pretty pathetic, and worse. There are occassions when they border on inciting violence toward women.

Fortunately they are still in the extremely small minority. Good to have them out of the dating pool. Real men love real women. The HB and MGTOW nerds are entertaining, but not as much as these guys.

Vox
Vox
13 years ago

ha ha! That too, yes.

Joe
Joe
13 years ago

> 40 is pretty old for all the sexy stuff

LOL!

> Well I know old people have sex with old people but no one wants to see that gross stuff.

Aha. So sex is something you *watch*? That pretty much shows that your source of “information” about sex is porn.

Among real 40somethings (i.e., not the characters porn actors are playing) there’s plenty of sex. I don’t know this because I “watch” it–talk about TMI! But among friends you tend to know who’s getting some and who’s not. Some of us middle-aged types love to gossip.

katz
13 years ago

Wait, is it over 25 or 25 and over? I ask because I’m turning 25 in July and will need to remind my husband that my vagina is drying up.

FelixBC
FelixBC
13 years ago

40 is pretty old for all the sexy stuff but at that point I feel like you should have gotten your fill of it. …
Well I know old people have sex with old people but no one wants to see that gross stuff.

Bwahahahahahaha. MRAL, little secret for you. Human sexuality is not based on your (mainstream) porn preferences.

You are making a fundamental mistake in your understanding of humans. And it’s not working out well for you.

Try understanding it this way, as a massive generalization: everyone, young, old, fat, thin, abled/disabled, wants and enjoys sex. Yes, of course there are exceptions and variations, obviously. But human sexuality is just that, human. WE LIKE SEX, and that liking doesn’t go away because some snot-nosed boy with a keyboard thinks we’d be gross to watch on his monitor.

So look around you, all those people. (Well, leave your windowless den first, and go for a walk.) See them? The little old lady? The fat man? The catholic priest? The completely boring, regular people? Inside every* one of them is a horny, horny 20 year old.

*for those of us with better understandings of reality, yes, of course I know this is an over-generalization and not accurate. I’m trying for world-view correction** here, one that leads to less dead-end bitterness and hatred, and to more generosity, kindness of spirit, and empathy. Not bad for a Sunday morning, eh?

**I am a (horny 20-year old) optimist at heart.

Pecunium
13 years ago

MRAL: Is “The Greek System” a system (i.e. it has a defined, and understood set of rules), or a SWAG (i.e. each person is making it up as he goes along?). Because when one “expert” says one thing, and another, “expert” says something completely different, I start to think not even the people using it have any idea what it’s supposed to say.

I look at what you say, “Well once you hit 40, for both men and women, it seems the Greek system is out of date. Most people are married by then and the Greek system is primarily a sexual thing. People settle into their lives and it stop mattering. So women maybe have a few years in which it’s tough to be alphas (although even thin aging women are betas, definitely). I’d say men too but men seem to age better than women (then again, since at 40 the Greek system ends, it doesn’t actually matter, more reasons men are the oppressed class),” and I have to wonder where you are getting this nonsense.

1: Lots of people in their forties aren’t “settled into their lives” in ways that don’t involve being sexually monogamous (my housemate…. whom you wouldn’t find attractive, has no desire to marry again [she’s been married to one man, and one woman… it’s just not for her] and is poly/kinky, and getting enough sex [perhaps not all she wants, but she wants and awful lot, she’s not, however, unhappy with the quantity/quality of her sex life).

2: If the differential nature of men/women is such that for no reason (other than Nature) men “age better than women”, there is no oppression. That’s like saying mice are more oppressed than people because they die so much sooner. If, however, the relative “attractiveness” isn’t innate, but social then:

2a: The greek system isn’t “the way it has to be”
2b: The people telling you that’s “the way it is,” are full of shit
2c: You aren not an, “omega”.

3: Trust me, past 40 one has not, (even with an active past, like mine) “gotten one’s fill”. Just trust me on that one, ok.

3a: I can attest from personal experience that 1: being in my 20s and having sex with women in their 30s/40s was (a) a great deal of fun. (b): Educational. (c): Not at all gross. 2: Being in my 30s and forties I can attest that the same seems to have held true for the women who decided/still choose to have sex with me, who are in their 20s/30s.

Pecunium
13 years ago

Ok, I know where you are getting that nonsense (you have told us) what I don’t understand is why you believe it? Esp. I wonder why a bunch of guys, bitter about the sex they aren’t getting are more believable to you than a bunch of people telling you about all the sex they are enjoying; and doing so in ways that disprove the things the bitter guys are saying.

Even the porn you don’t want to watch puts the lie to them. If the “Greek System” were really true… no one would by the “cougar” porn, the “chubby” porn, the “fat” porn, the “granny” porn.

The porn starts of yesteryear wouldn’t still be able to make a living; because they would cross that magic line into “old” or, “fat” and no one would be willing to buy movies they were in, and that would keep them from being cast.

As to the issue of Alphas/Betas/Omega, have you looked at the guys in porn? John Holmes was no adonis, and Ron Jeremy isn’t any looker either (I recall being at a rehearsal for a show, and someone asking what the fuck a Ron Jeremy Enlarger was (ca. 1986, when porn was a lot harder to find, and porn “stars” were 1: not so famous and 2: pretty much exclusively female) because he worked at a magazine bindery and there had been an ad on the back of one.

Seems there were films in which he auto-fellated himself. I think that (in the Greek System) moves him into the omega category. I know he has been seen in the company of “fat” and “old” women. So…

But he’s still an idol to a lot of young “Alpha” guys.

Again the “system” you subscribe too, seems to have no proof, and a lot of counter examples.

Major Mangina
Major Mangina
13 years ago

Over at Dickhead.com, Jabberwonky has it all figured out, including mass murder of feminists.

http://www.the-spearhead.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=689
BLOG]: Twenty Thousand Dollars
by jabberwonky » Sat Mar 13, 2010 12:14 am

Political Suggestions about women’s Rights:

* Females be married once they are able to have children (usually at ages: 12, 13, 14).
* Men never persecuted for having relations with a young female of childbearing age.
* The marital rape exception reinstated (So that a man is never persecuted for raping his wife).
* If a man rapes a unmarried/unbetrothed++ virgin girl he marries her, pays her father some money, and doesn’t divorce her.
++Bethrothal here meaning female living with husband for about one year before the marraige feast/ceremony.
* Females barred from bringing claims against their husband (or similar) in court.
* Females barred from divorcing their husbands.
* Females barred from collecting monies from husband (child support etc).
* Other similar things to remove all power from females and make them what men desire.
(About Child Support: A saying from Bob is: child support is a seat at a Man’s table and a cot to sleep on in his house)

All of the above are to the benifit of men, if you’re against them then you do not much care to allow your fellow man benifit: you’re not a friend.

Additionally:
* Women’s rights activists be cleansed from the earth.
* All rapists, batterers, etc be freed from the prisons.

Additionally:
* Clone girls, sell them (untouched) to men, so as to constructivly change the market so that all men have what they wish to have.
* Investigate who brought women’s rights upon the world, destroy those who did (in much of the world women’s rights is new as of the 90s and 00s: in India, for example, it really started in earnest in the late 90s).

Shaenon
13 years ago

And I’m REALLY glad that back then the internet didn’t exist in the form it does now. Because if it had, I might have run across the Crazy World Of MRA and been seduced by the writings of its elder scholars. And I don’t think my life would have improved as a result.

Oh, man, my husband and I were just talking about this yesterday. If the Internet had been much of a thing when we were 20, he’d probably have become an MRA and I’d have volumes upon volumes of bad “Star Trek” fanfiction archived for posterity.

Ok, I know where you are getting that nonsense (you have told us) what I don’t understand is why you believe it? Esp. I wonder why a bunch of guys, bitter about the sex they aren’t getting are more believable to you than a bunch of people telling you about all the sex they are enjoying; and doing so in ways that disprove the things the bitter guys are saying.

I was wondering that, too. If your interest is in getting a girlfriend (which seems to be the goal not just of MRAL, assuming he’s not a Poe, but a lot of guys on the fringes of the MRM), why would you take advice from a group of men who appear to have exactly zero successful relationships between them, and in many cases have sworn off contact with women altogether? That’s like joining the Neo-Nazis because you think they can help you plan your bar mitzvah.

Hide and Seek
Hide and Seek
13 years ago

“Well I know old people have sex with old people but no one wants to see that gross stuff”

Other people have made points about performing sex, but I’d also like to point out, sex is kind of absurd looking no matter who is doing it, even young, classically attractive people. And really, the better it is, the more absurd it’s going to look and the less the people involved are going to care.

And if you are getting your ideas about what sex looks like from porn, there are a couple of things you should take into account.

1)Unlike in a high percentage of pornography, a lot of people who have sex look like they are enjoying themselves, not like they are being paid, and not quite enough, to pretend to enjoy themselves. It’s like the difference between a friend who loves to cook making you a hamburger at a barbecue and the “happy, thank you” script the girl at McDonalds has to read at the drive thru.

2)Also, most people make sexual decisions based on what feels nice and not what provides the best camera angle. Really, reverse cowgirl.

3) A lot of people have sex with folks they like in order to physically represent how much they like them. That’s going to look much different than people who walk on to a set and get introduced to the person they are going to fuck that day, a person chosen because of the size of their primary and/or secondary sex characteristics.

Samsara
Samsara
13 years ago

Now that I’m over 35, I won’t have to put up with creepy men, who think sexual relationships are based on class oppression, hitting in on me. This is AWESOME. It’s the best news I’ve had all week. FYI Superbad, I think some dudes have not gotten your memo yet, because they are still hitting on me.

Oh wait, I’m supposed to be controlling young women’s sexuality. For heaven’s sake, as if I don’t have enough work to do. That’s it! I am contacting my femminazi union rep. This feminist work load is getting unmanageable.