In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. And, at least if he’s straight, vaginas. Even if this young man happens to be a not-so-young man, and one who is defiantly Going His Own Way and thus theoretically immune to the vagina’s siren song. At least that’s the case with one regular over on the Happy Bachelors forum who recently set forth some intriguing theories on vaginas. Specifically, vaginas older than 25. What “Superbad” calls his “Golden Vagina Rule” is pretty simple: “Don’t trust any vagina over 25.” As he explained in a recent thread:
Social commentary written (or spoken) by a woman whose vagina is over 25 years old can be considered mostly bullshit. Null and void. And here is why. You cannot expect a woman, whose primary function is to make babies (aka attract men), to be anything but bitter or dishonest after her eggs and looks start to go. …
And why is this? According to Superbad,
when a woman’s sexuality declines (whored out, dried up vagina, menopause, postpartum depression, psychologically-induced frigidity, insanity, etc.) that she starts blaming men and talking a lot of hate and nonsense.
Just a few quick notes here: Female sexuality is not a finite resource; you cannot use it up by having sex on a regular basis. Nor do vaginas dry up like dead flowers when a woman passes the age of 25. Generally speaking, when a woman is interested in having sex with you, and you don’t just shove your dick in her without so much as a “how do you do,” lubrication is not a problem. If it is, for whatever reason, you can purchase bottles of lubricant at the local drug store. (This is also, FYI, how people are able to have butt sex.) Also, the average age of menopause is 51, not 25; though many believe menopause kills libido and “dries up” the vagina, this is probably a myth.
Oh, and also: mocking women for aging and/or suffering postpartum depression is not just a douchey thing to do, it’s practically psychopathic. Yes, physical beauty fades – eventually – for women and men alike. But having a complete and utter lack of empathy for your fellow human beings is an unattractive quality at any age. Speaking of unattractive beliefs, let’s continue:
The down side of people living longer, is that most women are going to be ugly for vast majority of their lives. That is obviously going to breed resentment and animosity. A woman’s time in the sun is brief. A man becomes more powerful with age. But a woman never gets any prettier. … Feminism has become a way for the uglier, older, less-fertile women to CONTROL young, virile girl’s orgasms and their sexuality.
At this point I feel I should remind Mr. Bad that the word “virile” actually means “manly,” in a general sense; more specifically, it means “capable of functioning as a male in copulation.” If you are interested in women with such capability — hey, let your kink flag fly! – there are several options available to you. (One of them may involve the purchase of equipment; they will all involve the lube I spoke of earlier.) If this isn’t what you want, you may wish to reword your post, and perhaps any dating profiles you may have put up on DoucheMatch.com or PlentyOfCompleteFuckingAssholes or wherever the fuck you may have put them up, so as to ward off any possible confusion on this point.
Superbad continues:
If you think women hate men; trust me, they’d just assume [sic] claw each others eyes out. And here is where a happy bachelor differs. Older men don’t feel the need to compete with younger men. Older men feel a bond with younger men. It is our duty to teach them and pass down any knowledge. We live in a world where the enemy is no longer a bear or tribal war. The enemy is packaged as pretty as a peacock: MARRIAGE. It is a way to sell the old vagina.
Let’s try to work out the logic here. According to Superbad, marriage is a dastardly plot by evil feminists to bind men to vaginas over the age of 25, and presumably the women hosting them as well, who by definition are dried-up, whored-out ugly monsters (both the women and the vaginas, presumably).
Feminists are also trying to “CONTROL” the sexuality of young, fertile (yet also virile) women/vaginas, presumably by keeping them from having sex with … Superbad, who, as a Man Going His Own Way, doesn’t even want to be with women in the first place?
The ideal world, evidently, is one in which men of all ages get to have sex with under-25 vaginas (and their women), and are free to reject outright all women/vaginas older than that. In order to accommodate men of all ages, of course, these young women/vaginas will have to have sex with lots of different men. This will, of course, make them, by Superbad’s reckoning, “whores.”
Forget the old virgin-whore dichotomy; in Superbad’s sexual utopia all women/vaginas will pass through three stages: starting out virgins, they will, for a brief period in their late teens and early twenties, be whores; then, after the age of 25, they will be consigned to the whore-heap of history and become hags.
Superbad has it all figured out. And, as he explains in another comment, these poor gals will have no one but the feminists to blame:
[N]on-fertile women (read: ugly, old, bitchy) are always mad when they see young girls worshiping our cocks… old habits die hard. women are lazy. feminism requires women to get off their fat asses, work, and compete with smarter/stronger beings. most get a taste of “feminism”: working retail and getting fvcked/chucked monthly… and then end up online, looking for a “real man”. but, unfortunately, all the boys that the last generation of femi-turds raised are wimps. so, ladies, here is the game plan. get on your knees when young (so we can rent your mouth and vagina) and THEN, later, wise up, get angry, and MAN UP… and live alone with your cats. Feel free to get online as an old bat and “school” us men. LOL
Yes, Superbad has appended a “LOL” to the tail end of his comment, as if it were some sort of Internet-age equivalent to the more traditional Q.E.D. (Pro-tip: It’s not.) Still, his comments did make me LOL a little, or at least chuckle quietly to myself. Not with you, Superbad. At you.
NOTE: If you didn’t get that reference to “carrousel” earlier, perhaps this scene from Logan’s Run will jog your memory:
eilish, I’ve thought a bit about the baby issue. Since, in Superbad’s view, making babies is the “primary function” of women, we can only assume that they will want to have some. But since it would be unfair for men to have to put up with their postpartum depression — not to mention them getting all fat like those pregnant ladies do — women will presumably wait until the final days of their 25th year to get pregnant — hopefully with twins, so as to keep away the specter of population declines.
Men will of course not be required to pay child support, and should feel free to mock the young unmarried mothers for being the irresponsible sluts they are.
It’s all a bit complicated and confusing. But no one ever said that creating the perfect world would be easy.
This makes me glad I’m turning 25 in 7 days! Then I will be too old for these so-called men to look at me as a sexual partner. Of course, being asexual I don’t care to consider having sex with anyone, but I appreciate being left alone.
Also, WTF is up with the idea that feminists want to control other women’s sexuality? It seems like the MRA have some serious projection issues. I think they all need therapy before they get stupider than they already are.
Hmmm, I don’t really agree with this one, Scarlett Johansson is 26.
But again, as with Bardamu, I can understand his frustration. It’s possible that he sees young women running after alphas after spitting on him and he draws the reasonable conclusion that the women are getting as much alpha cock as they can before they grow old. Again, though, I don’t really agree. I think women begin fading physically at 30 or so, and it doesn’t really become that noticeable until like 38.
I hear you on that one, Ink. I’m almost 30, but most people assume I’m about 20, if that. How old do I have to be before they’ll leave me alone??
Also, are vaginas like snow globes or do I have to use it before it becomes “dried up?” (I mean that figuratively.)
And I thought our primary purpose was not attracting men to make babies, but rather stealing sperm. Gosh, my tiny lady brain gets so confoooozled.
http://grerp.blogspot.com/2010/11/manospheres-spinster-schadenfreude.html
Here’s what I took away from Superbad’s essay:
1. MRAs hate women 25 and under because they’re sluts.
2. MRAs hate women over 25 because they’re hags.
Sounds about right.
Therefore there must be a period of “slut/hag” duality where the two traits are in perfect balance.
It’s possible that he sees young women running after alphas after spitting on him and he draws the reasonable conclusion that the women are getting as much alpha cock as they can before they grow old.
As amused as I am by the mental image this evokes…no. If a woman walks past you without volunteering to give you a blow job (which appears to be what you mean by women “spitting” on you), it is not, in fact, reasonable to:
a) assume that the only reason she’s not volunteering to give you a blow job is because she’s running off to give another, better guy a blow job.
b) get mad at her.
c) get mad at all the women in the world.
d) write long fanfics about how she’ll be an unfuckable hag in six months and then she’ll spend the rest of her life crying that she passed up that one golden opportunity to “worship your cock.”
That’s actually kind of the exact opposite of reasonable.
But aren’t you concerned about how this guy’s post fits into your theories? In previous threads you claimed that, as long as a woman’s not fat, men will find her gorgeous and she’ll have no trouble getting laid. But this respected MRA scholar is telling us that all women over 25 are hideous and no man would want them. So really, only a tiny percentage of women (those between 18 and 25 who are also thin) are “alphas” or “betas.” I mean, I’m 33. I’m an omega for sure. (It’s kind of you to raise my expiration date all the way to 38, but clearly other men disagree with you.)
And I can’t do anything about it! I have to confess I don’t have any pity for the “beta males” and “omega males” you describe, since you yourself admit they can do things to improve their attractiveness: develop better social skills, get a cool job, get rich or famous, develop some interesting talent, improve their looks, or even just treat women nicely (what MRAs call “being a mangina”). The only reason they’re not alphas is, frankly, because they’re too lazy to get off their asses and improve themselves.
But women can’t do anything except maybe lose weight. That’s it! We’re not valuable for anything other than our looks, and if losing weight doesn’t improve our looks, we’re SOL. And according to the guy in this post, we’re complete zeroes after age 25 anyway, no matter what we look like or how much we weigh.
I guess what I’m asking is, why do you have so much pity for the “beta” and “omega” men, who are really just a bunch of lazy fucks, but no pity for the “beta” and “omega” women?
Well once you hit 40, for both men and women, it seems the Greek system is out of date. Most people are married by then and the Greek system is primarily a sexual thing. People settle into their lives and it stop mattering. So women maybe have a few years in which it’s tough to be alphas (although even thin aging women are betas, definitely). I’d say men too but men seem to age better than women (then again, since at 40 the Greek system ends, it doesn’t actually matter, more reasons men are the oppressed class).
And anyway, I think women in their mid to late 30s can be alphas for sure, look at Cameron Diaz. She looks her age but is still hot and probably still spitting on the omegas. 40 is pretty old for all the sexy stuff but at that point I feel like you should have gotten your fill of it.
It’s possible that he sees young women running after alphas after spitting on him and he draws the reasonable conclusion that the women are getting as much alpha cock as they can before they grow old.
It’s possible, yes. Just not very plausible. And his conclusion is not, to my mind, at all reasonable.
A more reasonable conclusion is that he really needs to work on his social skills, begin treating women like human beings rather than walking orifices, and be prepared to settle for a woman who falls short airbrushed perfection. You know, like an older woman, or an overweight one, or something.
My first time, which came in my 20s, was with a 40 year-old who was funny, talented and incredibly intelligent. It’s a time I remember with enormous fondness.
Basically that dude is wrong, women are at their hottest between… I’d say 23 and 32. Are you telling me Megan Fox will be a hag in a year? Lol.
40 is pretty old for all the sexy stuff but at that point I feel like you should have gotten your fill of it.
I point and laugh at this naivety. I can only assume you are quite young, because you seem to know little or nothing of how sexuality works in the real world.
No, I’d say the Greek system is primarily a ridiculous thing.
The Greek system is class oppression system translated to sexuality, I think. As discussed earlier, the alphas rule, the betas follow, and the ostracization of the omegas serves as the glue holding the alphas and betas together. Alpha and beta women spit upon the omegas (the proletariat) and fuck the alphas and SOMETIMES the betas. Fat chicks are the female omegas. That’s just an overview b/c this is a new thread.
Uh huh.
MRAL:
Is your argument really that people stop having sex at 40? Because the news of STD transmission rates in retirement centers proves you are mistaken.
Also, didn’t you say the other day that you’re like 20? What exactly has endowed you with special knowledge about the sex lives of 40 year olds?
Oh the beautiful logic:
Feminism is about controlling the sexuality of young girls so they don’t worship cock and we are forced to look to you old vaginas! HOW DARE YOU!
Therefore Feminism is to blame for you old hags not having cock after 25!
You really stoop to a new low when you can’t even keep your own hateful ideas consistent! Please continue on.
MRAL, I’m going to share a little secret with you. An alpha woman once revealed to me (after I showed her my mangina card) that, yes, when a woman passes by you and she doesn’t stop to give you a blow job, she is in fact spitting on you. Not only that, she is also farting in your general direction.
The alpha woman further revealed to me that, yes, every woman you see who walks by you is in fact on her way to give a blow job to an alpha dood.
Thank you, MRAL, I’m not sure what new readers would do without the Dumbassery 101 Cliff Notes.
Again, all I can do is look at you and be endlessly thankful that I didn’t let the bad relationships in my life turn me into a bitter little washout. If you weren’t so vile I’d honestly feel sorry for you because every single day of your miserable, bitter life you’re probably repulsing away women who’d make you forget every second of bad times you’ve ever had.
Ah well, more of those women for those of us who appreciate them. Better that they don’t waste their time with you.
ROTFLMAO
do you tell yourself this so you don’t have to think about your parents/grandparents/aunts&uncles/whatnot having sex?
Well I know old people have sex with old people but no one wants to see that gross stuff.
certain niches of German porn beg to differ
There’s also German porn of people shitting on each other but I don’t want to watch that.
And lord knows the only society we should have is the one you control MRAL.
Deliver me from kids who think they should run the world.