In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. And, at least if he’s straight, vaginas. Even if this young man happens to be a not-so-young man, and one who is defiantly Going His Own Way and thus theoretically immune to the vagina’s siren song. At least that’s the case with one regular over on the Happy Bachelors forum who recently set forth some intriguing theories on vaginas. Specifically, vaginas older than 25. What “Superbad” calls his “Golden Vagina Rule” is pretty simple: “Don’t trust any vagina over 25.” As he explained in a recent thread:
Social commentary written (or spoken) by a woman whose vagina is over 25 years old can be considered mostly bullshit. Null and void. And here is why. You cannot expect a woman, whose primary function is to make babies (aka attract men), to be anything but bitter or dishonest after her eggs and looks start to go. …
And why is this? According to Superbad,
when a woman’s sexuality declines (whored out, dried up vagina, menopause, postpartum depression, psychologically-induced frigidity, insanity, etc.) that she starts blaming men and talking a lot of hate and nonsense.
Just a few quick notes here: Female sexuality is not a finite resource; you cannot use it up by having sex on a regular basis. Nor do vaginas dry up like dead flowers when a woman passes the age of 25. Generally speaking, when a woman is interested in having sex with you, and you don’t just shove your dick in her without so much as a “how do you do,” lubrication is not a problem. If it is, for whatever reason, you can purchase bottles of lubricant at the local drug store. (This is also, FYI, how people are able to have butt sex.) Also, the average age of menopause is 51, not 25; though many believe menopause kills libido and “dries up” the vagina, this is probably a myth.
Oh, and also: mocking women for aging and/or suffering postpartum depression is not just a douchey thing to do, it’s practically psychopathic. Yes, physical beauty fades – eventually – for women and men alike. But having a complete and utter lack of empathy for your fellow human beings is an unattractive quality at any age. Speaking of unattractive beliefs, let’s continue:
The down side of people living longer, is that most women are going to be ugly for vast majority of their lives. That is obviously going to breed resentment and animosity. A woman’s time in the sun is brief. A man becomes more powerful with age. But a woman never gets any prettier. … Feminism has become a way for the uglier, older, less-fertile women to CONTROL young, virile girl’s orgasms and their sexuality.
At this point I feel I should remind Mr. Bad that the word “virile” actually means “manly,” in a general sense; more specifically, it means “capable of functioning as a male in copulation.” If you are interested in women with such capability — hey, let your kink flag fly! – there are several options available to you. (One of them may involve the purchase of equipment; they will all involve the lube I spoke of earlier.) If this isn’t what you want, you may wish to reword your post, and perhaps any dating profiles you may have put up on DoucheMatch.com or PlentyOfCompleteFuckingAssholes or wherever the fuck you may have put them up, so as to ward off any possible confusion on this point.
Superbad continues:
If you think women hate men; trust me, they’d just assume [sic] claw each others eyes out. And here is where a happy bachelor differs. Older men don’t feel the need to compete with younger men. Older men feel a bond with younger men. It is our duty to teach them and pass down any knowledge. We live in a world where the enemy is no longer a bear or tribal war. The enemy is packaged as pretty as a peacock: MARRIAGE. It is a way to sell the old vagina.
Let’s try to work out the logic here. According to Superbad, marriage is a dastardly plot by evil feminists to bind men to vaginas over the age of 25, and presumably the women hosting them as well, who by definition are dried-up, whored-out ugly monsters (both the women and the vaginas, presumably).
Feminists are also trying to “CONTROL” the sexuality of young, fertile (yet also virile) women/vaginas, presumably by keeping them from having sex with … Superbad, who, as a Man Going His Own Way, doesn’t even want to be with women in the first place?
The ideal world, evidently, is one in which men of all ages get to have sex with under-25 vaginas (and their women), and are free to reject outright all women/vaginas older than that. In order to accommodate men of all ages, of course, these young women/vaginas will have to have sex with lots of different men. This will, of course, make them, by Superbad’s reckoning, “whores.”
Forget the old virgin-whore dichotomy; in Superbad’s sexual utopia all women/vaginas will pass through three stages: starting out virgins, they will, for a brief period in their late teens and early twenties, be whores; then, after the age of 25, they will be consigned to the whore-heap of history and become hags.
Superbad has it all figured out. And, as he explains in another comment, these poor gals will have no one but the feminists to blame:
[N]on-fertile women (read: ugly, old, bitchy) are always mad when they see young girls worshiping our cocks… old habits die hard. women are lazy. feminism requires women to get off their fat asses, work, and compete with smarter/stronger beings. most get a taste of “feminism”: working retail and getting fvcked/chucked monthly… and then end up online, looking for a “real man”. but, unfortunately, all the boys that the last generation of femi-turds raised are wimps. so, ladies, here is the game plan. get on your knees when young (so we can rent your mouth and vagina) and THEN, later, wise up, get angry, and MAN UP… and live alone with your cats. Feel free to get online as an old bat and “school” us men. LOL
Yes, Superbad has appended a “LOL” to the tail end of his comment, as if it were some sort of Internet-age equivalent to the more traditional Q.E.D. (Pro-tip: It’s not.) Still, his comments did make me LOL a little, or at least chuckle quietly to myself. Not with you, Superbad. At you.
NOTE: If you didn’t get that reference to “carrousel” earlier, perhaps this scene from Logan’s Run will jog your memory:
Logic is not the word I’d have used. I don’t know that there is a word for this… all the adjectives I can think of pale in the… purity… of whatever this is.
I hope it’s not all that catching.
“(both the women and the vaginas, presumably)”
Silly mangina! If you hadn’t been brainwashed by femicoozes, you’d know “women and vaginas” was a redundancy!
Does anyone else have this onion article running through their head whenever they read MGTOW theories on women’s sexuality http://www.theonion.com/articles/goddamn-it-the-neighbors-are-silently-going-at-it,19896/
“Feminism has become a way for the uglier, older, less-fertile women to CONTROL young, virile girl’s orgasms and their sexuality.”
Seriously, MGTOW, real life is not largely like the bad pornos you seem to get all of your life lessons from.
So in the MRA universe, the only fuckable women are 18-25 year olds with “normal” BMI’s. I haven’t run the exact numbers, but that’s probably about 15% of adult women (I’m being generous).
Guys, if you limit your dating pool that much, then even if you assume that most women are polyamorous and/or slutty, most of you won’t get laid. It’s not an evil b*tch conspiracy; it’s basic math.
As a tangent, I am surprised that I almost never here the man boobz whining about women’s failure to have sufficiently large boobs. I thought it was pretty much gospel in the dudebro crowd that a girl has to be at very least a C cup to be attractive.
But apparently, all you have to do is magically avoid getting fat. Hmmm…
[TMI warning]
As a sidenote, Dave, but in my anecdotal experience, the claim that most ladies get wet when they’re turned on is a myth. My girlfriend and I had a pretty involved discussion of this one drunken night in undergrad, and it turned out that about half of us needed–or at least preferred–artificial lubrication of some form.
Gah! The above should read “my girlfriends,” as in my group of female friends. I was still pretty closeted in undergrad, and therefore had no girlfriend. :-/
This guy should go to Colorado City, AZ. He would learn right quick that the bond he thinks exists definitely does not.
Somebody needs a good slap of reality (and it ain’t Dave)
Woohoo! My first post on the new website…I really like the new layout…
I always snerk at the notion(silly male fantasy??) That women all hate eachother and want to kill each other while men are just such great friends and just want to guide other men!!! Um yeah cuz men NEVER get in fights and beat each other up….men are NEVER in competition with each other over anything. Nope…men all love and respect each other and the wimminz are just full of drama…right
Also, well at least the annuals of dating guy gave women the experation date of 31! Men like this above have an empathy chip missing
Man, I’ve been seeing this girl the last few weeks who is 26.
Let me tell you, the MGTOW are missing out.
Wait, I thought women could always get laid and didn’t know what sexual scarcity was like? I’m so confused.
Anyway, what if a woman over 25 (is that the new age of menopause? 35’s bad enough, but are we positing Jessica Alba [30] as an “older woman”?) isn’t sexy?
What if she’s a brilliant teacher, or a part of a world-changing scientific project, or a doctor who saves lives, or just that one clerk at the store who does an amazing job and who seems to be friends with everybody?
I know this is crazy talk and all, but women still exist when there isn’t a cock in them, and shit, we gotta do something with the rest of our time.
“Seriously, MGTOW, real life is not largely like the bad pornos you seem to get all of your life lessons from.”
Holy shit, that’s it. They don’t know any women, and they watch porn, so they get all their ideas about women from porn.
I just laugh at how ridiculous these guys are
Y’know, Dave, I’m gonna pick on you a little just because I can’t really think of how to start with Superbad’s commentary. So, so stupid in so many ways.
Anyway, this: “Yes, physical beauty fades – eventually – for women and men alike.” I don’t agree with. I’d say physical beauty changes. Youth fades — and eventually disappears. But beauty? Beauty can metamorphose throughout one’s life, and the change is part of what makes it beautiful, no?
As for Superbad, ah geez. (1) The thing aboutwomen all hating each other and men always watching out for each other is proved untrue by all the MRAs who hate most other men. (2) If I saw a young girl worshiping Superbad’s cock (not likely), I’d certainly feel compelled to tell her that she could do better, but I can’t imagine feeling jealous. (3) I write with my hands and my mind, not with my vagina. Interesting mental pictures aside … my vag has nothing to do with it. (4) What about transwomen who are over 25, though their vaginas are not? Are they OK? (Also, no menopause or postpartum depression. It’s a win-win!) (5) Basically, when I see this “argument” online — and I see it quite a bit — it always strikes me that these guys are making a terrible bargain. They want to end up with 20-year-old women who they have nothing in common with, who they’ll find ridiculous and immature, and who likely (or, this was my experience anyway, when dating men more than a decade or so older than me) will find their old bodies disgusting. I mean, to each his own. It just doesn’t strike me as anything anyone would want to do.
Seeing MRAs complain about someone ELSE trying to control women’s sexuality is the epitome of irony and only provides further proof that these scumbags are not only too evil to deserve to breathe the air with the rest of us, but also so stupid and intellectually inconsistent that we literally lower ourselves to some lower functioning level of thought by even dignifying their bigotry with debate.
One thing I’ve noticed about Superbad is how often he is logged into HB on evenings and weekends while posting that women’s bangability ends at 25. Frankly, his repetition has gotten boring and stale. Thanks for shining a new view on him, David. I’m trying to figure out where he places his laptop while all the hot young “virile” chicks worship his genitalia.
I’m thankful that the MRM guys whined about Manboobz. I’ve been lurking here ever since. Great stuff!
And here I was thinking it was guys like superbad that wanted to control young women’s sexuality. I’m positive he could care less if they have an orgasm or not. The whole comment, just, ugh.
This is really just kind of sad. I honestly question whether this guy has ever even met or spoken to a woman before. How can someone be so blatantly ignorant and yet so confident that they’re right? This is like when Bill O’Reilly insisted that nobody knows how tides work or why the moon exists. It’s just… so wrong but so arrogant at the same time.
Maybe they should be pitied instead of hated. Maybe their hatred of women is just the result of complete and utter ignorance.
@Holly
“I know this is crazy talk and all, but women still exist when there isn’t a cock in them, and shit, we gotta do something with the rest of our time.”
I laughed outloud. Thanks!
Ok I’m not to be an expert on female sexuality but isn’t a woman’s interest in sex supposed to increase as she gets older isn’t that why they call it the dirty 30’s. Please tell me if I’m wrong. Just a couple of other things as well
“A man becomes more powerful with age”
Yeah because a body more likely to suffer from heart disease, shorter life expectancy, increased risk of obesity because of advertisers saying that if we don’t consume fatty foods and drink our wait in alcohol to prove we are real men is the very essence of power. (I’m not saying that men have it worse than women health wise by the way I’m just pointing out how ridicules the comment is)
“Older men don’t feel the need to compete with younger men. Older men feel a bond with younger men.”
Ok so all the whinging MRAs do about Alpha males taking all the good women and the scorn they pour on so called manginers is just there affectionate way of letting the rest of us know they have our backs.
“Older men feel a bond with younger men. It is our duty to teach them and pass down any knowledge.”
Now I feel that there are many things we can learn from the older generations don’t get me wrong, but if an older gentleman came up to me and started talking exclusively about how awful and evil women were and that he had “knowledge he wished to impart to me” I’d almost certainly say that man was coming on to me.
I think superbad thinks that his mere presence brings women to orgasm.
No, no, no, Simone! Not 18-25, but 12-25. Remember? We women don’t mature past puberty so it’s okay for men to fuck us as soon as we get our periods! In my case, that would be eleven…wow.
And apparently I now have only two years left of non-hagginess. Never mind that peek fertility in a woman is 28, not 25. And never mind that many women are at their most beautiful at thirty-five.
Furthermore, my stepgrandmother became attracted to my grandfather when she was twenty-six; he was forty-seven. And you know what? He couldn’t wait for her to turn thirty and then forty. Not because of immaturity as my stepgrandmother was far from immature, but simply because it became a lot less awkward around people.
Individual personal preferences aside, I’m pretty fucking sure age between consenting adults doesn’t matter except to creepy assholes who want control.
Maybe the desire to control the “virile” orgasms is the older feminists trying to limit/control which men are “giving” the orgasms to the women?
Yeah, that’s it. The Feminists want to control everyone’s orgasm, the virile, the nubile and the futile.
Is Superbad one of the older, venerable scholars MRAL referenced who could explain how the MRM was going to free men?
I can see why MRAL was so cagey about the details.
I have a few questions.
-Will this system be universal or confined to North America? Has anyone asked Canada?
-Will women be incarcerated in sex farms until age 25, or are they going to be free-range worhippers of male genitalia?
-When women retire from sex slavery, will they receive the cats in exchange for their Shiva Lingams? Or are they going to have to form a union and agitate for a pay rate and pension?
-How will the young women be maintained in top fertility without contraception or pregnancy, both of which render them technically infertile, and therefore eligible for retirement? Is something bad going to happen to all the babies???
Here’s a few other questions for the MRM scholars:
-is a woman’s primary function to make babies, or attract MRAs? Pregnancy makes you fat. We all know what that means.
-Are “powerful” and “pretty” synonymous now?
-Are feminists controlling orgasms by remote or mind control?
Again with the MRAs falsely raising my hopes…this guy makes it sound like all I have to do is age past 25 and the MRAs will leave me alone. But that’s just lies. I passed that birthday and STILL can’t get a beer in peace without some PUA harassing me or my (even older) friends.
Could one of the resident MRAs please give us an honest answer about what a girl has to do to make sure an MRA never, ever, ever approaches her?