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The Searchers

Hey, you asked for it.

One of the many happy benefits of moving this blog to WordPress is that I can now see in gory detail the search terms people use to get here. The most common search terms are, naturally enough, “manboobz” and “man boobz.” It’s on the third-most-popular search term that things start to get weird: it’s “Australopithecus.”  Why? Well, because once upon a time I posted a picture of an Australopithecus couple going about their Australopithecus business.

Let’s take a quick tour through the rest of the search terms list. I think we can learn a few things, both about this blog and about the dreams and desires of people whiling away a boring afternoon at work by poking around the internet. Here are some preliminary conclusions I have drawn from the data:

1) The teeming millions want to look at dudes with lots of muscles:

world’s most muscliest man

most big muscle in the world

world’s muscular man

disgustingly big muscles

silly muscles

les muscle man end the world

And no, I have no idea what that last one means either.

Clearly, the prevalence of muscle-man related search terms is the side effect of having that little picture of a muscly man at the top of the sidebar in the blogger version of this blog. I feel bad that this was all I had to offer the searchers, so as you can see I’ve added a pic of a man with some, yes, ”disgustingly big muscles.”

2) Human sexuality is a weird, wonderful, and often horrifying thing. Sometimes, it involves advanced computer and/or robotic technology:

future lady robot

create a virtual woman with boobs

will cherry 2000 ever happen?

computer mouse in vagina

Other times, animals:

panda furry porn

animal dildo porn

fish meat and women porn movies

I am trying to get that last image out of my head.

3) If you regularly mention sperm on your blog, you’re going to attract a few weirdos:

how to steal sperm

do lizards like human cum

I just Googled that last one and this post of mine was the FIRST RESULT! I would therefore like to publicly state that I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION and have never even tried to find out the answer to that question. And if you by chance actually do know the answer to that question DO NOT TELL IT TO ME.

4) Angry dudes trying to find men’s rights sites can be careless typists:

why do you always here fiminist indoctorin at school but nothing about mens right activist?

women are like chilfren

A few final thoughts:

Many of the questions listed above are questions that are frankly best left unanswered. But there are some others I would dearly love to see answers to:

what do intellegent agressive beefcake nerds want

what does germaine greer think of buck angel

And one question I can answer pretty definitively:

can socially awkward men find love

Yes. The answer to that one is yes.

170 Comments
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Holly
13 years ago

Since there are “only” about 240,000 sexual assaults reported in the US per year, that’s quite a number you got there.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

Sure, NWOslave. I’ll answer. I suspect you won’t like my answers, but whatever.

This? If a woman has been drinking, even one drink and she consents to sex, she can indeed claim rape.

Is wrong. It may depend on her tolerance (and the state’s statute), but generally speaking, to reach a level where one cannot legally consent, one would have to be pretty drunk. One beer wouldn’t do it.

Like the other people who answered your question, I think that there are already punishments in place for people who file false reports with the police, and those should be used when the police are sure that that’s what happened. Not in cases like this one, where it didn’t. The falsely imprisoned man might be able to file a civil suit also. But most of the time, when MRAs talk about the high incidence of false rape reports, they’re not talking about reports that were filed in bad faith. Usually it’s more like, the wrong guy was caught. Which is sad, but it happens, and it’s not the woman’s fault nor does it mean that rapists don’t get due process. I glanced at that link, by the way, and it stinks. Due process has nothing to do with whether rape victims’ names are made public or whether victims of crimes are compensated.

Men who have been raped should be taken seriously as well. It’s a shame that they aren’t, and a shame that resources to help men who have been raped are limited.

If you have more questions, I’ll answer them.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Holly…Please stop pretending you give a flying damn about men. It’s not working. You quick to punish a man for any slight against a woman, yet when a woman attempts to jail a man, for who knows how long, you simply can’t bring youself to punish her.

If your all about equality and helping men, why not forgive all men for their transgressions and help the women they’ve hurt?

I mean if I said, well lets let the rapist go free but focus our efforts on helping the woman recover. Would you believe I really wanted to help women? Because if ya do, I’ll start rolling out comments that’ll burn your ears!

Holly
13 years ago

But I never said to let women who accuse men go free. I said to support the man and prosecute and sue the woman. And then I marveled that you didn’t consider the problems of the man, and continue to prioritize “giving men rights” way, wayyy below “WOMEN ARE HATE MONSTERS FROM MARS AND THEY GET FREE CANDY BARS FROM THE GOVERNMENT EVERY TIME THEY THROW ROCKS AT A MAN.”

(It gets weird after a while when I stop and remember that men and women, are, like, related. True fact: I grew up in a house where there were both men and women! Living in harmony! One of those rare “mixed” households, you know.)

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Bee…Please read this, the wrong guy wasn’t caught.
http://inquirer.philly.com/packages/crime/doc/phila2.asp

I mean c’mon, you can almost hear the exasperation in the report. He just wrote ect. at the end of excuses women gave for filing false reports, like they were endless.

Please stop saying women are punished for this behavior, you know it isn’t true.

Snowy
Snowy
13 years ago

If a woman has been drinking, even one drink and she consents to sex, she can indeed claim rape? Hmm… I suspect it is you NWOslave and not me who is a bit shy in his knowledge of law.

law1204
law1204
13 years ago

Whether or not you and the other MRA incompetents can successfully prove your case in court is irrelevant to the reality that you can, in fact, bring defamation lawsuits against your “false accusers” who are, contrary to what you would like, entitled to their day in court as well. Innocent until PROVEN guilty by a court of law by a jury of one’s peers sound familiar?

And yes, filing a false report or obstructing justice is also a crime and is also punishable by fines and/or jail time. If in fact a woman has NOT been indicted for falsely reporting or obstructing justice, you can shut your trap accusing her of such if a judge didn’t even find as much.

Sheesh.

And yes, women have in fact gone to jail for false accusations.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/bronx/justice_happened_things_system_solomon_JyyLFVitMM4bx63gpD1ouI

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1348018/Cry-rape-Emma-Blunden-21-jailed-2-years-false-claims-4-men.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

http://www.5newsonline.com/news/kfsm-news-rv-rape-accuser-charged-false-report,0,217790.story

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Holly…I too grew up in a fantastic household. In fact we’re so close that my sister lives next door, my brither and I share a house because we’re both on the road. My dad moved 1/4 mile away.

The problem is I blame men and women for their actions. And believe they should be punished equally. You however cannot ever bring yourself to have a woman punished. Thats a growing problem and the consequences will be unpleasant.

Sam L
13 years ago

@Snowy

NWO typically stands for New World Order, a handy shorthand for determining that the user of this acronym is batshit insane. It is often altered depending on who the speaker blames all their problems on, for example by changing the N to a J for “Jew World Order”. So in this case, NWO could also possibly stand for Now Womanist Order, or something similar.

I also think it was a late 90s wrestling federation, but that’s a lesser possibility.

Holly
13 years ago

NWO – I, too, want men and women to be punished equally for their actions.

I guess we agree?

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@law1204…Thats great, 3 cases out of a million a year, 2 of them right here in the US. Average punishment 0.000000000000001. Just like I said.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Snowy…read above link.

Holly
13 years ago

Not to get all up on your math again, but there’s 240,000 sexual assault allegations a year, and you gotta figure some of them are true.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

You realize that that’s not a report that you linked to, right? And that those were only examples (perhaps based on real life and perhaps not) of situations where officers in 1984 might close a file out as “unfounded”? No one actually went to prison or nothing. You seem to be getting upset over police work leading to a result that you should be in favor of. You should be celebrating that liars (and probably some nonliars who were sick of being questioned by an officer who clearly didn’t believe them) were turned away during interrogation, before any money was wasted and any man was imprisoned. Instead, you seem angry. Why is that?

Frankly, in my experience, most people who have been raped don’t want to file a report about it. And some of them will run out halfway through, once they realize how awful it is, on top of an already awful experience. But I said that already, didn’t I?

And where did I say that women are punished for “this behavior”? I linked to an article where a woman was punished for filing a false report when it turned out not to be false. Was that what you meant?

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Holly… According to feminist, why just last month they said 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted every year in colleges alone. Now unless my math is way faulty I’d say your 240k number is a tish low.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Bee….Thats right Bee, it was 1984, can you imagine after almost another 30 years of feminism what it is today?

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

One more time.

If a woman falsely accuses a man of rape, should she be punished, and if so for how long?

Can someone please answer this question.

Holly
13 years ago

Okay, let me rephrase: according to the U.S. Department of Justice’s National Crime Victimization Survey, there were 248,300 sexual assaults in the US in 2007, the most recent year I found stats for on a quick search.

Roughly 1 in 6 women will experience a sexual assault in her lifetime (National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.), not every year!

And, like I said, you gotta figure at least a couple of these (God, I’m being sarcastic and I still hate myself) actually happened, right?

Holly
13 years ago

THE WOMAN SHOULD RECEIVE THE STATUTORY PUNISHMENT FOR FALSE REPORT AND BE SUBJECT TO CIVIL ACTION AS WELL.

WUH. MUN. GET. TOLD. NO-NO. BY. JUDGE. LOSE BLOCKS. GET TIMEOUT.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

If a woman falsely accuses a man of rape, should she be punished, and if so for how long?

Any takers, should she be punished by LAW?

Holly
13 years ago

Are my comments not showing up? I used really small words that last time.

NWOslave
NWOslave
13 years ago

@Holly…Did you say statutory punishment, and do tell what is that? Is it comparable for trying to imprison a man for up to 20 years? Or is it time served, now git ya little scamp.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

Thats right Bee, it was 1984, can you imagine after almost another 30 years of feminism what it is today?

Help me out here, NWOslave. What does that second “it” refer to? Right now I’ve only got … it is almost 2014, but I don’t think that’s what you meant.

If a woman falsely accuses a man of rape, should she be punished, and if so for how long?

Didn’t I (and other people) already answer this? I say: If she there is enough evidence to find her guilty of this, then she should absolutely be punished for filing a false report, whatever the punishment for that is in her jurisdiction. Incidentally: Same as if a man files a false report. Because I support equality.

Holly
13 years ago

It’s whatever’s specified in the state’s statutes, the ones that apply equally to men and women. I’m not a judge, and each case is different.

I wouldn’t presume to decide the punishment for rape either by the way. I certainly think there should be one (durr), but that’s up to the court.

Simone Lovelace
13 years ago

NWO you priceless idiot: Holly and others have already answer this question multiple times. She should receive the standard penalties for filing a false police report; and the accused should have the right to sue her for defamation.

Do you actually read anyone’s comments ever?