I’ve never understood the whole “toilet-seat, up or down, debate.” Let me put that more precisely: I’ve never understood why people talk about it as if it were some kind of real live issue in our society. Are there really men and women who argue over this? I don’t think I’ve ever even had a conversation about proper toilet seat etiquette, much less gotten into an argument over it. (Or perhaps I have, but have simply forgotten it because it‘s so fucking boring.) Over the course of my life, I’ve probably spent less time thinking consciously about the issue than I’ve spent writing this paragraph.
That’s clearly not the case with our good friend MarkyMark, a somewhat excitable MGTOWer who (wholly unintentionally) provides this blog with choice material on a semi-regular basis. He must get into arguments about toilet seats all the time, judging from the long screed he posted yesterday on the topic of “what the toilet seat says about women.” Apparently, the fact that some women complain about men leaving the seat up – I’ll have to take his word on this, as I don’t think I’ve ever encountered it in my life – is evidence that women are foul, selfish creatures indeed. As he puts it, laying forth his basic thesis:
The toilet seat is living proof that women will complain about anything and everything. The toilet seat shows us that women cannot and will not accept responsibility for themselves. The toilet seat shows us that women have no perspective about anything. The toilet seat is living proof of the eternal solipsism of the female mind. The toilet seat provides empirical evidence that, no matter what or how much they get, women will never be happy. Finally, the toilet seat shows us that women are spoiled, entitled brats. …
The toilet seat shows us what women are REALLY like, and it ain’t sugar and spice and everything nice.
So distressed is poor Marky at the thought of women demanding that the seat be lowered that he’s driven to reconsider the very idea of universal suffrage:
You know what’s sobering? We gave these creatures the right to vote! Yes, that’s right; we gave these childish, immature, spoiled brats the right to decide who has power over us, to decide OUR futures. With the way women handle the toilet seat issue and what it says about them, is it any wonder why they were denied the vote?!
If this were someone other than MarkyMark, I would probably consider this a joke, or satire, or some sort of reductio ad absurdum. But as far as I have been able to determine, MarkyMark does not in fact have a sense of humor; this is a guy, after all, who once wrote a point-by-point “rebuttal” of an article in The Onion.
Presumably at some point in the future Marky will take on the other pressing bathroom-related issue that bedevils the men of the world:
Why do women always go to the bathroom together? Are they lesbians? Are they plotting something? Or … both?
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Can’t they think of anything else to complain about besides a fuckin’ toilet seat? They also forget that women cannot pee standing up (unlike the glorious awesome peenis! DUDE!!!)And they remind their boyfriend to put the seat down because we don’t want to fuckin’ fall in the toilet when we take a shit!
This is an issue for him personally, in his house??What, does he have multiple personalities and the female one keeps bitching about the seat? I thought they had meds for that.
I, for some reason, read that as him being pissed (har har) that we women need toilet seats at all, and I just assumed he was a hoverer, even when taking a dump.
Oh good lord. MarkyMark last talked to a woman a year ago. He is basing this entirely on reruns of “The King of Queens.”
That said, I totally love MarkyMark. He’s soooo stupid! *Iz ded of stupid.*
Oh man, the comments on that Onion rebuttal are just priceless!
Especially “Chris in Oregon.” Some highlights:
“Remember:
ALL women hate ALL men ALL of the time! (most of them can keep it hidden for some time.)”
“As an aside, what really irks me is that most women are furious if a man won’t perform oral sex on them.
WTF?”
“I only went down on one woman when I was much younger. In her defense, she was very, very clean. This was back in the eighties when HPV was still rare.”
Ohpleaseohplease be POE-ing the hell out of MarkyMark’s blog, Chris in Oregon. You can’t really believe this. NO ONE is this stupid and mis-informed…
…
…are they?
That explains why women always go to the bathroom before something awful happens to me… Must be their wicked lesbian plots.
Also, I never heard anyone complain about the “toilet seat issue”. Maybe I have been dating very effeminate men.
Yeah, I have yet to meet a woman for whom this was an actual issue or to see anyone complain over it. Wait, that last bit actually isn’t true. I did know a man who tried to insist that his wife and daughters put the toilet seat up when finished (though he did not think he had to ever put it down). He now lives in his truck, so I guess that horror in his life has disappeared (to head off the MRA divorce whiners-the couple lived with the wife’s elderly great aunt, for whom the wife provided day to day caretaking, the truck was the most valuable asset the couple owned).
This part of his Onion rebuttal explains a lot:
Women are a hive-minded pile of stereotypes, all obsessed with toilet seats and shoes and jewelry and fairy tale weddings. Thousands of shitty stand-up comedians can’t be wrong.
Meanwhile, humanity continues to be baffled by those little bags of airline peanuts. What’s the deal with those?
(TMI)
In my entire life, I’ve only witnessed one person being chewed out for leaving the seat up. That person was me.
I have an irrational germ phobia, k? I never sit down unless I absolutely have to (it’s a talent), so for this chica it’s a non-issue.
Anecdotal, but then the original claim is also anecdotal. It’s not even a primary source anecdote, he’s just cribbing off countless legions of Jeff Foxworthy wannabes.
(Off-topic, but how many variants of “Johnny” comment on this blog anyhow?)
In all fairness, I think it’s perfectly legitimate for a blow-job-giving woman to be miffed if her partner isn’t going to return the favor – especially since some women need it to climax at all, when the reverse is not necessarily true for bjs.
I have a habit of complaining about the toilet seat being left up, but that is because, for me as a woman with disabilities, a toilet seat being left up is actually dangerous.
As an aside, why is there a particularly peeved looking cat in that toilet?
I’ve chewed someone out over the toilet seat. This is a tad graphic, so you have been warned.
Back in my parents’ house, I had my own bathroom. I mean, technically it was “my” bathroom since my parents had their own bathroom and I was the only other person who lived there. But sometimes my brother would come by, and he would use my bathroom.
I would get sick in the middle of the night somewhat often. I’d rush to the bathroom without turning on any lights or closing the door. No time or need for that. Just run in and sit down and, if my brother had been there last, fall in.
Not pleasant.
My chewing out was something like, “Look, you NEED TO PUT THE SEAT DOWN,” with an explanation of why (I don’t want to fall into the toilet at night). It’s MY bathroom so I have no reason to ever assume it’s going to be up. The onus is not on me to check. It’s on him to return it the way it was.
And I don’t see why this is a huge deal. If I go to the bathroom at a friend/acquaintance/someone’s house, sometimes the lid is down when I go in. I always return the lid to the position it was in when I went in there. Really, how hard is that? Just put the toilet back in the position it was in when you got there.
And for guys who always leave it up, I guess their just desserts would be having diarrhea at 4 in the morning and falling in. “But why should I put it down?” THAT is why. Enjoy your wet butt.
/toilet rant
Hi, I’m a lurker, but I really just wanted to share one of my favorite Chris from Oregon quotes from that Onion rebuttal piece. I can’t even. This is the funniest thing I’ve read today:
“What the heck is it about women and vaginal odor? Maybe I’ve just been drinking too much coffee today, but this issue is really, really, really starting to annoy me.
Do they have any concept of how FILTHY their holes actually are? My God; recently a woman walked by me in public. Not a lower-class type by any means, and I actually SMELLED her pussy as she walked by!
WTF!?
WHY?!?!
This is just SO wrong!
This will probably go down as one of life’s greatest unanswered questions. Why in the name of all that is good and decent must woman smell like hell, fire and brimstone?
Is BLEACH that expensive? Can’t they find a single wire brush anywhere?
God save us all from smelly vagina’s!”
My favorite part is “this will probably go down as one of life’s greatest unanswered questions.” I’m surprised no philosophers have discussed this before now (but maybe Nietzsche already has, I haven’t pored over his oeuvre to check.) I never knew vaginas were THAT gross! I’m glad I’ve been enlightened, though. I’m going to go buy some inexpensive bleach now.
The rule in my house growing up was LID DOWN when you’re done. That way everyone has to lift something up and put it back down and things don’t fall in the toilet (especially important when small children are involved but we kept the rule even after we grew up). I really hate looking at the inside of dirty toilet bowls and just putting the seat down but not the lid doesn’t solve that problem. My fiance and I use the same rule.
Also, he tends to pee sitting down anyway because he’s a neat-freak. I’m sure some MRA somewhere will tell me he’s OMG NOT A REAL MAN and I’ve EMASCULATED him by making him do that!! Even though he adopted the practice YEARS before even meeting me. Neither of us is terribly interested in being a “real man” or a “real woman”. Too much damned work 😛
I always put the seat and lid down both. I’ve read that you should have the lid shut before you flush to avoid spreading toilet germs around your bathroom. As a mother of two small children, I would like it if everyone peed and pooped in the toilet at all, let alone put the seat down. I have the pick my battles, and the toilet seat is right at the bottom of the list. If Marky Mark ever tried toilet training a toddler, then he will know what toilet drama really is.
Toilet seat down at my house.
Otherwise it’s a drinking fountain for dogs.
I’ve got a dog who is undeterred by the toilet seat. I have to put the lid down if I want to keep him out.
@johnnykaje
At least three, but people can always use our avatars to tell us apart.
MRA’s should have a special flag that portrays their “coat of arms” – a toilet with the seat up – that they fly at their highly-attended Washington DC rallies (pfft).
ND – What does he have the olfactory center of a polar bear? Isn’t it odd how MRAs are so repulsed by women’s genitalia yet complain they’re as oppressed as slaves for being denied unfettered access to it? Pick a lane, dudes.
law1204 – Is that what Princess Beatrice was wearing last Friday?
FWIW, I’m a lid-down guy. I don’t want stuff to fall into the toilet.
Yeah, Chris in Oregon is even more of a delight than MarkyMark. I’ve done a couple of posts on him. And yes, he’s real too, and actually sort of revered by younger MGTOWers. Though I believe he’s a virgin, he has a lot of interesting theories about vaginas.
http://manboobz.com/2010/11/19/what-women-think-of-men-apparently/
http://manboobz.com/2011/03/23/living-bitter-and-alone-is-the-best-revenge/
http://manboobz.com/2010/11/18/shakespeare-before-hoes/
“Is that what Princess Beatrice was wearing last Friday?” LOL!!
I wonder if Chris in Oregon is related to Multiple Miggs from “The Silence Of the Lambs” movie. “I CAN SSSSMELL YOUR CUNTTT!”
“Is BLEACH that expensive? Can’t they find a single wire brush anywhere?”
Bleach and a wire brush? Seriously? Ow. Just… Ow. I’m hurting just thinking about it.
Bee, he can’t be basing it on King Of Queens, because if he was he would be complaining that that show oppressed men because it portrays the main character as a bit of a buffoon, and his wife as hot.
I’ve actually seen numerous MRAs making that exact argument. And blaming it all on feminism.
Oooh I can’t wait until he tackles the next big bathroom issue. Toilet paper: does it hang over the top or the bottom?