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Raise High the Toilet Seat, MGTOWers!

This is what happens when you leave the lid up!

I’ve never understood the whole “toilet-seat, up or down, debate.”  Let me put that more precisely: I’ve never understood why people talk about it as if it were some kind of real live issue in our society. Are there really men and women who argue over this? I don’t think I’ve ever even had a conversation about proper toilet seat etiquette, much less gotten into an argument over it. (Or perhaps I have, but have simply forgotten it because it‘s so fucking  boring.) Over the course of my life, I’ve probably spent less time thinking consciously about the issue than I’ve spent writing this paragraph.

That’s clearly not the case with our good friend MarkyMark, a somewhat excitable MGTOWer who (wholly unintentionally) provides this blog with choice material on a semi-regular basis. He must get into arguments about toilet seats all the time, judging from the long screed he posted yesterday on the topic of “what the toilet seat says about women.” Apparently, the fact that some women complain about men leaving the seat up – I’ll have to take his word on this, as I don’t think I’ve ever encountered  it in my life – is evidence that women are foul, selfish creatures indeed. As he puts it, laying forth his basic thesis:

The toilet seat is living proof that women will complain about anything and everything.  The toilet seat shows us that women cannot and will not accept responsibility for themselves.  The toilet seat shows us that women have no perspective about anything.  The toilet seat is living proof of the eternal solipsism of the female mind.  The toilet seat provides empirical evidence that, no matter what or how much they get, women will never be happy.  Finally, the toilet seat shows us that women are spoiled, entitled brats. …

The toilet seat shows us what women are REALLY like, and it ain’t sugar and spice and everything nice.

So distressed is poor Marky at the thought of women demanding that the seat be lowered that he’s driven to reconsider the very idea of universal suffrage:

You know what’s sobering?  We gave these creatures the right to vote!  Yes, that’s right; we gave these childish, immature, spoiled brats the right to decide who has power over us, to decide OUR futures.  With the way women handle the toilet seat issue and what it says about them, is it any wonder why they were denied the vote?!

If this were someone other than MarkyMark, I would probably consider this a joke, or satire, or some sort of reductio ad absurdum. But as far as I have been able to determine, MarkyMark does not in fact have a sense of humor; this is a guy, after all, who once wrote a point-by-point “rebuttal” of an article in The Onion.

Presumably at some point in the future Marky will take on the other pressing bathroom-related issue that bedevils the men of the world:

Why do women always go to the bathroom together? Are they lesbians? Are they plotting something? Or … both?

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Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

You can even see some of the femcunts talking about how it’s their God-given right as women to DICTATE how men get to leave the seat.

law1204
law1204
9 years ago

If a toilet has a seat, what is the point of leaving it up all the time? It may as well not have a seat at all if that’s your attitude.

mediumdave
mediumdave
9 years ago

Let’s see… it was “bitch” then “whore” then “femcunt”. MRAL (or should I call him Ferdinand Bardamu) is about due for banning, I’d say.

briget
briget
9 years ago

FWIW, there is a product which I highly recommend which allows a woman to pee standing up
http://www.go-girl.com/
I’ve had mine for close to a year now and I LOVE it

ScareCrow P-man
9 years ago

Tell me Dave – why did you delete my previous comment this time?

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
9 years ago

Hey, MRAL, I’ve got a great solution to the whole toilet seat issue: live by yourself. That way, you can leave the seat any way you damn well please.

If you want to be in a long-term relationship, however, then issues like these have to be resolved through negotiation and compromise–which sometimes means letting the other person have their way. It’s what grown-ups do.

Kave
Kave
9 years ago

There is a reason why the men who designed the toilet seat (mra’s would assume it was a man) gave the toilet a lid that both men and women have to open and close.

Use it. No one wants to look at toilet water when they look into your bathroom. It’s there for a reason and it’s egalitarian.

As a side note there are many places you can travel in the world that for various reasons do not have any toilet seats in public bathrooms. Reasons vary; In the French Riviera for instance establishments can be closed down because of drug use and toilet seats sat in backwards or not make for handy cocaine or other drug usage in small bathrooms. Sometimes they are stolen, etc.

The first time my wife and I were in Spain together she groaned about the lack of toilet seats (never-mind toilet paper), the last time we were there she commented first about how there were toilet seats everywhere, but was bemused by what she found going in after the older spanish ladies. They seemed to be still squatting over the hole in woman’s washrooms. Toilet seats over the age of 50 or so were all in the up positions.

I do wonder what MRA’s would feel like going into a traditional muslim/east indian toilet and how that would oppress them to have to squat.

As a side note if you have small children I get the falling in thing, (which takes in 99% of mom’s telling dads to stop leaving it up). Mra’s naturally just really don’t take in small persons issues ever.

I do not get it as a grown person who should be looking where they are sitting, much like we look before were putting one foot in front of the other that it’s not a pothole. Yes it’s polite to put the lid down. People should be polite.

I have just spent more time talking about toilet seats then 99.9 percent of women do in their lifetime (unless they have toddlers or stupid pets I guess).

I hereby sentence Markymark to have to take his morning ritual in rural Portugal, that newspaper will have more uses then you wish.

johnnykaje
9 years ago

“Hey, MRAL, I’ve got a great solution to the whole toilet seat issue: live by yourself. That way, you can leave the seat any way you damn well please.”

But he’ll still have to contend with the imaginary women in sitcoms, stand up, shitty greeting cards, etc. Which, he has demonstrated, he cannot differentiate from actual individual women.

Kave
Kave
9 years ago

Another trivia about toilet usage.

In many European countries it is a sign of class (ALPHA’S) that men urinate sitting down, perhaps deprived from the Moslem squat, but it is true. That being true you’d think those men would appreciate the toilet seat being in the down position.

I have way too much toilet trivia. I completely blame my wife, she started making mental notes after asking why women went into stalls together in certain locations and the protocol behind this. MRAL… no they are not doing what you wish/think they are.

katz
9 years ago

I think MRAL could prove himself to be a reasonable human being by answering one of the following two questions:

1. What is an example of a situation that you would consider to be unjust to women (or a woman) and not to men (or a man)?

2. What is an example of a situation where you would consider a man to be acting in an entitled or unreasonable manner?

If, as I rather think, he is unable to produce an example of either one, then that proves that he’s just a whiner who would always think he was being oppressed even if he was surrounded by a harem of BMI-20 slaves giving him BJs while feeding him grapes and fanning him with a palm frond.

chocomintlipwax
9 years ago

I think I pretty well explained why a person might not be looking where they’re sitting. If you’re the primary user of said toilet or if you have microseconds before imminent explosion, you might not look. Generally, if it’s the middle of the night–whether emergency or not–I don’t turn on the light. Why should I? Just makes it more difficult to go back to sleep.

And really, a toilet is not a footpath. If you’re using the toilet several times a day every day, potholes, dead armadillos, or dog poo should not be cropping up around your toilet. You don’t need to watch where you’re going, so to speak. This comparison is pretty ridiculous–more so than the one I often see comparing putting on makeup in public to taking a shit in public.

Finally, and what I really wanted to say, this femicunt will happily dictate what others do in MY bathroom. If you want to leave the seat up, do it in your own bathroom. My toilet, my rules.

(Also, urgh, squatters. If there were 20 squatters and one “normal” toilet I would wait for the “normal” toilet, unless it was an emergency. Ironically, in an emergency the last thing you want to do is use a squatter … and now y’all know more about my bathroom habits than anyone but my gastro should.)

chocomintlipwax
9 years ago

Really, moderation because I used the “fc” word?

Also, I guess there’s more to the tags than I thought. That shouldn’t be a blockquote, and the quote I had got eaten. 🙁

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

Boy, Fidel Castro must be feeling pretty embarrassed right about now. Here he went to all the trouble of organizing an underground revolutionary army and overthrowing the Cuban government. If only he had met MRAL instead of Che Guevara, he could have learned how to carry out the Cuban Revolution by insulting random people on the internet.

mediumdave
mediumdave
9 years ago

OK MRAL (if you’re still reading), it’s because of nonsense like this that the MRM is also known as the Abusers’ Lobby. A man like MarkyMark, who’s so full of rage that he reacts to a request to put a toilet seat down… no, scratch that… the mere thought of being asked to put a toilet seat down (something so innocuous that takes half a second to do)… is the same kind of man who’d slap his wife or girlfriend around for serving his dinner cold, or beat his son with a belt for any little thing. Men like this cannot be trusted around women or children until they learn some anger management.

The true goal of the MRM is to remove the scant protections that the families of abusers have, and leave women and children trapped with men like MarkyMark. Imagine having him for a father! I’d never be able to sleep, for fear of what he’d do.

Which is exactly why the MRM/MGTOW “movement” cannot be allowed to succeed, because if it’s members get their way, the end result will be more domestic violence and more children growing up traumatized.

(Sorry to interrupt the merriment, folks, but this is what we’re looking at.)

Avicenna
9 years ago

Quick question…

Why is this even an issue? This is so bizzarely daft. Look women need the toilet seat and we can pee standing up. It’s a pretty good deal. And I have never heard of anyone outside a sitcom complain about this.

Must be all those insane women MRAL dates….

Amnesia
Amnesia
9 years ago

@Avicenna

I didn’t think blow-up dolls cared whether the toilet seat was up or down.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

@Avicenna

That explains why women always go to the bathroom before something awful happens to me… Must be their wicked lesbian plots.

I thought that was where women plan who is an “omega”, a “beta”, an “alpha”, an “alpha-alpha”, or a “mangina-alpha-alpha”

Avicenna
9 years ago

Thus making the club an Alphabeta soup? (sorry cannot resist bad puns. I grew up on a steady diet of James Bond)

I don’t know what those classifications mean. I don’t even understand the logic behind them since humans don’t quite work like that.

Johnny Pez
9 years ago

I don’t even understand the logic behind them since humans don’t quite work like that.

No logic involved, just misogyny plus paranoia plus sexual frustration.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

Women in MRAL’s world fail the Bechdel Test

Personally, I leave the lid and seat down. Because I don’t want plants growing in my toilet.

Which I did start doing because a woman complained. Since she fell in at 3 am, I conceded she may have a point. (I have disgraced the penis) 🙁

tawaen
tawaen
9 years ago

…There are people who don’t put the seat down and shut the lid before flushing?

Humans are disgusting. Ugh. Why not just quit using toilet paper and stop washing your hands while you’re at it?

Though I guess it makes sense that MRAs are all for the spread of fecal bacteria. Who knew they were so literal in their practices?

ScareCrow P-Man
9 years ago

Futrelle: “I didn’t”

I don’t believe you Dave.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
9 years ago

paranoid much ScareCrow? They have medication for that now.

Kendra, the bionic mommy
Kendra, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Maybe MarkyMark could hire a professional plumber to install urinals in his bathrooms. Then in the very unlikely event a woman is in his home, she wouldn’t offend him by asking him to put the seat down. Oh the horror!

Amnesia
Amnesia
9 years ago

ScareCrow, David’s too shameless to lie about deleting a comment. You should know that by now.

Alex
9 years ago

…I just read the comments on the “rebuttal”…Chris from Oregon won’t go down on a woman because he thinks we pee out of our vaginas…I think I just lost a few braincells.

briget
briget
9 years ago

Note to MRA’s. Women, unlike men do not pee out of their sex organs. We have a separate opening where pee comes out of. I have conveniently left a link to a picture since the likelihood is that none of you have ever seen one up close before

http://www.femalereproductivesystem.org/

Avicenna
9 years ago

What does he think a blowjob is all about then?

feyline
9 years ago

“…Chris from Oregon won’t go down on a woman because he thinks we pee out of our vaginas…”

I don’t think anyone’s missing out, then. I mean, the only way that fear would make sense was if he not only thought we peed out of our vaginae, but thought eating a vag-owner out meant sticking his tongue up the twat.

Holy crap, if g-spots were that sensitive and easy to get to…the orgasms that could be had!

zombie rotten mcdonald

Alex, avi,

I can’t stop laughing at the same thinking.

I remember a Line from “The Shining” where 9 year old Danny watched a perverted mechanical clock show a 69, and he thought “eewww, kissing pee pees”. Which is how a 9 year old might view it.

Adults who have experienced sex might view it somewhat differently. I know I do.

Kenda, the bionic mommy
Kenda, the bionic mommy
9 years ago

Chris from Oregon would probably want a girlfriend or wife to give daily blowjobs even though he thinks it’s gross to go down on women. If you won’t give oral sex, then don’t expect it.

eilish
eilish
9 years ago

I’m still trying to figure out why MarkyMark thinks that feeling annoyed when your partner forgets to do something you have asked them do on a regular basis is a sign that you shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

He’s got me thinking. If being annoyed with someone you live with doing something you think is inconsiderate is a good reason for disenfranchisement; what’s the consequence for being annoyed with someone you don’t live with for having a disagreement with the person they live with? Should MarkyMark lose citizenship?
Because these sentences are so long, I have been getting sidetracked by other thoughts like is “Marky Mark” the stupidest usename ever? Why did someone obsessed with manlymanliness choose an infantilised name?

MRAs would make great material for a wildlife documentary. Look what crawls out from under the rock of feminism.

Pecunium
9 years ago

MRAL: You said: “You people need to get off your computers more. Talk to a woman, gain her trust, and soon she WILL bitch and moan and “selfish men who leave the toilet seat up”.

You are what, 20? You’ve lived with how many women, not related to you?

For me the number is… lessee…. intimately involved with; I have lived with three; totally about 12 years. I’ve lived with ten more (that would include some overlap with the intimately involved with; shared domiciles). I have spent significant amounts of time with another half dozen I was intimately involved, but not living with (this doesn’t count the female soldiers I’ve lived in field environments with; nor those I shared mixed barracks with, as the former were in conditions where toilets, much less seats, were a bit of a luxury, and the latter didn’t share toilets, nor bathing facilities).

So telling me (at 44 I’ve been having sex for longer than you’ve been alive, had I been foolish, or unlucky, I could have a kid in her mid twenties, going on thirty) that I need to get out more, to find out how women really are… a bit much.

That said, the seat stays down in my house. When I moved in with my present housemate I had to train myself not to put the lid down*

That’s because my former fiancee’s family kept the lid down, so it’s what she was used to. A lot easier to deal with than not. I don’t really care, save that I keep the seat down because in the middle of the night why should I want t have to figure out the lid status. It’s a lot easier to just sit in the dark and piss than to deal with turning on the light to aim.

*which actually increases bacterial dissemination, because of the way it moves air past the lid, but the risks are trivial in any case.

SaynaTheSpiffy
9 years ago

Actually, this is a legitimate complaint. Anyone who has ever fallen into a toilet bowl can attest to that. I once fell into a toilet as a little girl because somebody left the seat up. I was a little kid and didn’t notice or understand. The same can happen to a woman if she has to pee in the middle of the night and isn’t fully awake yet. Or a person of either sex who needs to poop in a hurry. It’s a safety hazard, dammit! Think of the women and children and people with stomach flu!

Men are lucky that they can pee standing up. It’s a privilege that women don’t have (unless they work for it and manage to succeed, but I hear it’s difficult). It’s common courtesy to help us out by putting the seat down.

It’s also gross to leave it open because sometimes pets try to drink out of it and supposedly it can spread fecal particles into the air. =(

Anonymouse
Anonymouse
9 years ago

Why do the sexist jerks always say they GAVE us the right to vote?? They certainly did not. Women fought for the right to vote and WON it.

Major Mangina
Major Mangina
9 years ago

My grandmother fell on ice and broke her knee when she was a teenager. Being in the boonies with inadequate treatment, the knee healed in a manner where she could not bend her leg for the next 70 years. When I was gardening with her as a child, she would ask me to turn my back as she walked over to the fence, hiked her good leg up on it, raised her skirt and did what she needed to do in that time of need, in the only way she could do it. It was a few years later that I learned that all women did not pee standing up. One of my other duties at the time to to tend to the “honey pot” in the closet, hiking it down to the outhouse in the morning, dumping it, cleaning it and replacing it for her middle night needs. I also cleaned up after cows, pigs, chickens, and was raised with a realistic attitude about creature waste management.

We got the indoor plumbing and life was so much easier. But she laid down the law of the lid and seat. No matter how superior guys feel about their aim, it never a 100% success to not splatter, dribble, or miss entirely in the middle of the night. We were encouraged to pee outside for those reasons.

I always considered it an act of courtesty, both to women, and guys who had serious sit-down business to attend to, to assume the non-splatter position, and tend to the lid and seat according to good manners at home and in public facilities, and most importantly at the homes of others. I am still amazed to this day, how many guys feel so superior, that they cannot lift the seat, and leave a pissy mess all over the mens rooms in public.

It is also common sense in hygene to close the lid when flushing due to aerosol effect, AND to keep the family pets from drinking there and then licking the faces of kids and friends.

It’s a pretty limp-dick scenario to turn common courtesty and common sense into some sort of world domination conspiracy by women. Sounds more like laziness, childishness, and whining.

Djinna
Djinna
9 years ago

Reading the Straight Dope’s bit about what gets aerosolized around the room if you don’t put the lid down before flushing made me a lifetime convert to “forget about the seat, the lid better be down!” camp. My man immediately swiched, too, as has every other man I’ve ever known that I shared a bathroom with on a regular basis.

So yeah, what others have said about the particles. More fair plus more sanitary is a no brainer.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

“Why do the sexist jerks always say they GAVE us the right to vote?? They certainly did not. Women fought for the right to vote and WON it.”

Er, no. Since men were the only ones with tangible political power, they GRANTED women the right to vote. No women were involved.

mngstrfy
mngstrfy
9 years ago

That’s why I always pee in the sink when I can.