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The video above, which has been making the rounds of the manosphere, is one of the creepiest and most off-putting things I’ve seen since watching Dogtooth a couple of weeks ago. Actually, I take that back: Dogtooth was much less creepy and off-putting. I was so repelled by what I saw in this video that it literally took me several tries to get through the whole thing. And no, it’s not some weird misogynistic rant by the likes of Bernard Chapin. Oh, no no no. The misogynists of the world are as repelled by the video as I am, though for radically different reasons. Titled “Dear Woman,” the video was actually put together by a couple of self-described “conscious men” who think they’re doing a great favor to the women of the world.
To which I can only say: Guys, stop it, you’re not helping.
If you can stomach it, the video is worth watching in its entirety. If not, here’s what you’re missing: The video is the work of a couple of New Age gurus — Arjuna Ardagh and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D – who, with the help of a little gaggle of guys, have written a little manifesto “apologizing” to the women of the world for all the bad shit done by men to women over the centuries. Or, as they put it:
I feel deep love, great respect and a growing sense of worship for the gifts of the feminine. I also feel deep sorrow about the destructive actions of the unconscious masculine in the past and present. I want to apologize to you and make amends for those actions, in order to bring forth a new era of co-creation with you.
The first step in “making amends,” evidently, was to gather together a group of men – some of whom seem to have been roped into it in the middle of a garden party — and to somehow convince them to read out loud the entire text of this manifesto. (The full text is here, but it’s much creepier when it’s read out loud.)
There is something about this manifesto, and the men reading it, that is so “off” that it may well make your skin crawl, and make you wonder how many of the men in the video have dead bodies secreted away in the crawl spaces under their homes. A female friend I showed the video to could only make it through the first couple of minutes before switching it off in horror; one commenter on Metafilter reported that it “made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and not in a good way. Eeew.”
The creepyist, skin-crawliest part of the video has to be the section in which the assembled men talk about women’s bodies:
I honor the beauty and integrity of your body. When we worship each other through our bodies with awareness and devotion, there are no boundaries to the love that we can generate. I feel sorrow that men have used your beauty as a form of commerce in prostitution and pornography. In the grip of lust we have often lacked the skills to ask gracefully for intimacy or to take ‘No’ for an answer. I take a stand against any form of enforced or soulless commercialization of woman’s beauty, and I respect that your body belongs to you. …
I honor your capacity to listen to your body and its needs for food, rest and playtime.
I feel confident that I speak for many when I say “ewww.” Somehow I’m reminded of Saturday Night Live’s hot-tub-loving “lovers.”
As one commenter on Metafilter put it:
“We worship women” sounds like something Buffalo Bill would have said if he had a PR agent. My guess is that they’re sickos who seem really earnest at first but it turns out that they’re actually trying to collect used tampons for onanistic purposes or something.
So what is it, aside from all this worshiping, that makes the video so creepy? Part of the problem is that these “conscious men” are, in their own way, as patronizing and sexist as any manosphere dudes “mansplaining” about how all women only want to fuck alpha guys. Women, in their view, are inherently peaceful earth-mother types. “I commit now to … honoring the spirituality of the divine feminine,” the guys tell us. “I honor your deep connection to the earth.”
From this day, moving forward, I vow to treat your heart as the sacred temple it is, and I commit to honoring the feminine in you and me and in my relationship to all life.
I know that by leaving the past behind and joining hands in the present, we can create a synergy of our strengths. Together, there is nothing we cannot do.
—
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>Is this a parody? We are sure this isn't from the Onion? Because DO NOT WANT. I can feel parts of my body sewing themselves shut.
>I find it hilarious how feminists are delusional enough to believe women are not treated as "people" in western society.Wow so much bitterness and extreme paranoia there.
>Is there anyway we men can help these Kangaroos with their "toxic masculinity" while they fight to draw lines between territory and resources and the females surely blame them for their aggressive nature which like male humans has been mostly a creative and constructive force??? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVq7Mo6LY-A
>"We are sorry that male animals are born with horns and implements of battle to secure the things we females want and then blame you for the nature we demand in you"Men are blamed for every ill in the world by feminists. Little to nothing is ever the fault of women as they are perfect princesses. Ask David.
>Who else here thinks nick sounds just like Stewie Griffin?
>David,You blatantly call me a misoynist in this post. I'd like to first ask you how you define "misogyny" and then ask you to provide evidence for your claim.
>http://lmgtfy.com/?q=what+is+the+definition+of+creepyhere maybe that will help some of you who don't understand this wonderful thing called google or a fucking dictionary
>Feminists just make up what misogyny and patriarchy is as they go along.When I have asked feminists in this blog to prove to me how patriarchy still exists in western societies like America in 2011, they usually just send me some link of what another feminist said.Riiight. So if I was an MRA, in this logic, I can say just because another MRA said this or that, this is proof.The idiocy of feminist bigotry is rife in here
>Nick, did you read even a word of this post? Chuck, I linked to your blog because it had a handy set of links to a bunch of misogynists who have criticized the video, thus providing evidence for my assertion that misogynists have criticized it. That said, I thought your thing on women not being funny was misogynistic. And the fact that you link approvingly to a whole host of sites that are much more blatantly misogynistic on a regular basis.
>Nick, I'm going to break a longstanding rule of mine, and instead of mocking you, I'll actually try to explain.The reason you don't understand about misogyny and the patriarchy is because your ideological bias won't allow you to. It's that simple.
>I was creeped out by the 16 second mark.The de Becker analysis of what's creepy about this video is fascinating, but you missed the obvious part: staring that intently and continuously is creepy. Neither one of them blinked until 25 seconds in. My eyes were watering on their behalf.By way of comparison, here's a normal person sharing his thoughts normally (from the excellent I'm From Driftwood series). He's making eye contact with the interviewer, but he's also blinking and moving his eyes, looking around, moving his head, showing facial expressions, etc.The music was also creepy–not the music itself, but its continuous repetitiveness.
>David,And you still didn't define "misogyny". That being said, would it be misogynist for me to say that men are a lot better at basketball, on average, than women? Is it misogynist for me to scoff at any assertion that that is not the case? "Misogyny", as I understand it, involves some sort of irrational hatred of women, or a desire to keep them in a place against their will. But I don't hate women, and I'm all for them being comedians if they have the chops.I'm just not willing to lie about their abilities, especially as it pertains to humor. And if you disagree with me that women are just as funny as men, you'll have to cite evidence to support your case. So far, I win that battle. More stand-up male comedians, for one. Take your own straw-poll of non-ideological men and women, and ask them who is funnier between men and women. Dollars to dog nuts they'll say men are funnier. You think that women are just as funny, but you are ideologically biased towards women and feminists. The average Joe and Jane Blow are not ideological, and they are also the ones who determine what "funny" is. So you call something misogynist if it posits a differences between the sexes and if it says it in less-than-diplomatic terms. Which may make me crude, but it doesn't make me a misogynist. (For the record, I won't lose any sleep over the label; I just like to engage in these semantical debates.)
>If it's a parody, it would have been funnier if a Klingon warrior appeared half way through and started kicking some ass. But maybe that's just my "feminine" humor coming through because I'm just sooo nurturing.
>oh my fucking godshttp://lmgtfy.com/?q=definition+of+misogyny
>Chuck, this is what you said in your post: "Women aren’t funny. Just ask anybody (besides women)." I'm not going to argue that there are more female comedians than male; obviously there are more male comedians. But I don't think this means that women are inherently less funny than men, much less that "women aren't funny."
>David, So even though there are more male basketball players who earn more money at the professional level, you wouldn't also argue that men are inherently better at basketball than women? And I miswrote in my piece. I shouldn't have implied that women would disagree with my statement; in fact, most *women* would agree that men are funnier than women.
>David, the point is, if patriarchy is so real in America 2011, it would be so damn easy to point out. Yet, no feminist can, instead, they just throw a link of what another feminist said and say this is proof.If patriarchy is right in your face, it would only take a few paragraphs or less to point it out.You people are a total fail
>Matriarchy exists because another MRA said so, I tell ya
>Chuck, I'm not arguing with you about basketball (yes, men tend to be better at that, partly because they also tend to be taller). Meanwhile, women are better at lactation. Generally speaking, men will beat women in penis size contests, and women will beat men in vagina-having contests. None of this has much bearing on humor, which is something that involves the brain, not other physical characteristics which are different in men and women. And, as I said before, the fact that there are more male comedians doesn't mean that men are inherently funnier. It might have something to do with women not wanting to put up with obnoxious drunk dudes hitting on them or calling them "cunts" every time they do a show. Or not. All I know is that there are a lot of hilarious women out there, which seems to suggest to me that women ARE funny.
>"It might have something to do with women not wanting to put up with obnoxious drunk dudes hitting on them or calling them "cunts" every time they do a show."But when women call men "dickheads" it's a social norm.It's only bad in a feminist perspective when female genitalia is degraded
>I laugh just as much at female comedians' jokes as I do male ones. And I watch a lot of comedy.
>Soooo, anybody besides me really digging the irony here? e-string and friends show up to take you to task for criticizing this video even though it's full of stuff they'd normally slag off as being representative of slavish feminized manginas. They're so intent on the "Derp derp stop callin menz creepy!" routine it doesn't even register. Unadulterated comedy gold.
>Nicko, if you want an example of patriarchy, just read Chuck's comments in this very thread. It provides a good breakdown of one of the operations of patriarchy:1) Systematically bar women from professions that require merit or achievement2) Use lack of women in these professions as evidence that women are incapable3) Return to step 1
>"Ewww" sums it up nicely.
>Systematically bar women from professions that require merit or achievementTime to break out the tinfoil hats!