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| I’m walkin’ here! |
Pierce Harlan of the False Rape Society has broken past the limits of mere logic, arguing that the fact that a small number of guys at a couple of events have put on women’s clothing to raise money for women’s causes means that rape culture doesn’t exist. That seems to be the main message of a post of his today with the baffling title “Boys in bras, boys in heels, boys in pink — all to raise money for women’s causes: Is this the ‘rape culture’ we hear so much about?”
Harlan, posting as “Archivist,” complains about several recent campus events, in which college guys have literally put on heels (to raise money and awareness about sexual assault) and bras (to raise money for breast cancer research). Harlan isn’t thrilled about the causes themselves: he has sneeringly derided sexual assault awareness as “a supposedly good cause” and, while acknowledging that breast cancer research is theoretically a good thing, he’s evidently tired of hearing about it.
But he seems even more hot and bothered about the cross-dressing by guys he calls “chivalrous clowns,” describing the bra-wearing as “creepy” and deriding the guys “prancing around in high heels.” Apparently, as Harlan sees it, these fellows are just doing it to impress the chicks:
young men will do pretty much anything to help, to curry favor with, and to be admired by young women.
It is heinous to suggest that attitudes of sexual aggression and dominance over women are normalized, rationalized, and excused by the alleged beneficiaries of “patriarchy” in our culture. In point of fact, the foolish young buffoons in heels and bras are far more representative of young masculinity in our culture than is the young rapist.
There’s not a lot of logic in this, er, argument, but in an earlier posting Harlan elaborates on the distaste he feels towards the “Walk A Mile In Her Shoes” event, which was held at the University of Montana (clearly a hotbed of radical feminism).
It would be downright shocking if this or similar events ever prevented a single sexual assault from occurring because: (1) prancing around in high heels and similar useless stunts has nothing to do with preventing sexual assault; and (2) the vast majority of young men who strutted their stuff and who participate in such events are highly unlikely to ever rape a woman. …
If we want to curb sexual assault, we need to teach our young people the truth, but the truth doesn’t jibe with the current rape meta-narrative that holds only one gender responsible for stopping it. …
Young people generally do not understand that women experience much greater after-the-fact regret than men do. Sometimes feelings of regret are translated into feelings of “being used,” and sometimes feelings of “being used” are misinterpreted or purposefully misconstrued as “rape.”
Asking the police, a judge, or a jury to sort out what happened in an alcohol-fueled tryst based on a “he said/she said” account puts an impossible burden on our law enforcement and judicial apparatuses. …
There is no “rape culture”; there is no “rape continuum.” Rape is committed by social deviants, not the nice boy next door. It is almost a certainty that none of the charming young buffoons who strutted around in women’s heels yesterday will ever rape a woman. …
The sad, politically incorrect fact of the matter is that young women have far more power to stop rape than innocent young men by not putting themselves in situations where rape is more likely to occur.
There’s a lot of bullshit condensed into these short paragraphs. There’s victim-blaming, of course: do we regularly attack murder victims for “putting themselves in situations where murder is likely to occur?” There’s his weird complaint that actually investigating and prosecuting date rape puts an “impossible burden” on police and the judicial system: should we simply stop enforcing laws against all crimes that are hard to investigate or prosecute? And there’s his unwillingness to accept the simple fact that rapists all too often do look exactly like the “nice boy next door.” As for his complaint that these events target the wrong people, see here for an argument as to why it makes sense to raise awareness specifically amongst those men who are NOT likely to rape women.
In the past a few MRAs have asked me why I put the False Rape Society blog in my “boob roll” — and formerly in my “enemies list.” This is why. Spreading blatant misinformation and blaming victims: these are not exactly good ways to actually reduce the number of men falsely accused of rape.
And here’s another thought for the MRAs reading this, Harlan included: if you are truly as concerned about testicular or prostate cancer — or any other male malady — as you so often and so loudly claim to be, take a few moments away from your constant complaining about feminism and/or women, and actually hold a fund raiser yourselves. In a comment on his latest post, Harlan writes: “My problem is this: how about an event to raise funds for male suicide, etc. once in a while?” You know how events like these happen? PEOPLE ORGANIZE THEM. There is nothing stopping MRAs from organizing such an event on their own. How about it, guys?
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>"young men will do pretty much anything to help, to curry favor with, and to be admired by young women."Judging from this site it would appear this problem isn't confined to young men.
>"Wanting women to have a favorable opinion of you" seems okay to me as one potential motivation for not acting like a manboob, if that's what it takes.
>Once again I'm struck by how terribly negative the MRA view of men is.
>he is right about one thing, one the way that we talk about rape needs to change. Where he gets it wrong though is how we are currently talking about it. Our society currently treats rape in just the manner that he is wanting. If the coverage of the gang rape of the 11 year old in texas doesn't demonstrate just that I don't know what does
>There is no "rape culture"; there is no "rape continuum." Rape is committed by social deviants, not the nice boy next door.He just made a claim, and then disproved that claim in the very next sentence.The second sentence doesn't disprove the first at face value, but the fact that Archivist believes it does. This idea that the nice-looking boy next door couldn't possibly be a rapist because he doesn't hang out in dark alleys or wear trench coats, and isn't black, is at the very core of rape culture. The nice-looking boy next door wants you to trust him implicitly because that makes it easier for him to rape you, and more importantly, easier to get away with it.Claiming that creepy strangers in back alleys are the most common rapists is naive at best, and disingenuously misogynist at worst.
>Someone pointed out they could organize an equivalent event and that dude said "you do it" because he cannot be bothered to actually make an effort to change things. He is only wanting to complain about how much better women have it without paying attention to the fact it takes time and effort to get the kind of attention that breast cancer gets.
>Addendum: Also at the core of rape culture is that the nice-looking boy next door often believes himself that he couldn't possibly be a rapist. I'm a middle-class, normal white guy, he thinks. Guys like me aren't rapists. Rather than not raping, however, this just gives him latitude to commit date rape or some other technically non-violent form of rape and walk away convinced that he didn't actually commit rape.And then people like Archivist will be busy apologizing for him without question, largely because he has a penis.
>Yes means Yes just deconstructed one of my favorite studies on this subject, http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/The short of it: In English we think it's rude to tell people "no" directly, so we don't. Men and women understand indirect refusals to requests which are not sexual. If you ask someone if they would like to go bowling and they say: Well, I'd love to but there's this thing, etc. We easily understand that they are politely saying no.But when it comes to sexual requests, men do not want to understand women's polite refusals, so we place the responsibility on women to communicate their refusal in a way which is looked down and seen as rude in our general communication, the "No means No" model.
>@triplanetary – appropriate nic. You are definitely out there pal. Speak for yourself idiot.This is great.No actual meat against anything he said.Just whining and bitching about how he isn't starting a fund raiser for testicular cancer.
>It is a valid question to ask ScareCrow-women put together events like the above to raise awareness about their issues but what guy has created a "Jockstrap For Testicular Cancer Awareness" event? Why complain about the lack when these guys are not out there doing the same thing women did? Is it because maybe, just maybe, men think women are supposed to not be organizing things to take care of their medical needs but instead that they should be working solely on male medical needs?
>ScareCrow: Speak for yourself idiot.I wasn't. I'm not a rapist. But unlike some men, my conception of myself as "not a rapist" doesn't mean that I just do whatever the hell I want and then justify it after the fact as not-rape when it actually was. It means that I don't rape in the first place.It's not really any different from the fact that I'm not a murderer, except that society is constantly sending signals to men that rape is tacitly acceptable, especially against women who "deserve" it for any number of reasons.
>In the past a few MRAs have asked me why I put the False Rape Society blog in my "boob roll" — and formerly in my "enemies list."Why would they have to ask? It seems to be cut from the same mendacious, paranoid, kyriarchy-supporting piece of garbage cloth as the rest of the sites you link to. In my view, worse than most of them, actually, since it adds victim blaming to the list.Women (or other people) who falsely equate regret with rape may exist–but I've never worked with one. It's an MRA bugaboo. However, I have worked with people who decline to file a report because they don't want to give one of the two pairs of pants they own to the police as evidence. And people who decline to file a report because it's taking so long and their family will know something's wrong if they don't get home soon. And people who decline to file a report because the last time they filed a report, nothing happened.This thing too–"The sad, politically incorrect fact of the matter is that young women have far more power to stop rape than innocent young men by not putting themselves in situations where rape is more likely to occur"–is enraging, for lots of reasons, not the least of which is that many people who have been raped were raped in a situation that arose because they were working. Or because they were homeless. Or because they were in a care facility.In short: The False Rape Society is garbage.
>This thing too–"The sad, politically incorrect fact of the matter is that young women have far more power to stop rape than innocent young men by not putting themselves in situations where rape is more likely to occur"–is enraging, for lots of reasons, not the least of which is that many people who have been raped were raped in a situation that arose because they were working. Or because they were homeless. Or because they were in a care facility.MRAs tend to have massive blinders on with regard to thinks like privilege and class. Their constant moaning about women kicking back at home instead of working, for example, reveals that when they make generalizations they're really only thinking about upper-middle and upper-class people.
>On the "falsely equate regret with rape thing"…This is why we need a model of enthusiastic consent. If people having sex only do what each of them really really wants to do, then there isn't going to be any regret.
>Because anything a man does to try and impress a woman is male oppression. Frankly, if some guys are walking a mile in high heels, my hat is off to them. Those suckers hurt, especially the stilettos the guy in the photo is wearing. The sad, politically incorrect fact of the matter is that young women have far more power to stop rape than innocent young men by not putting themselves in situations where rape is more likely to occur. And then women get bitched at for being afraid of men.
>MRAs tend to have massive blinders on with regard to thinks like privilege and class. Their constant moaning about women kicking back at home instead of working, for example, reveals that when they make generalizations they're really only thinking about upper-middle and upper-class people.Very heavy projection going on here.
>Dang Dave – I hope you are enjoying this wackiness."society is constantly sending signals to men that rape is tacitly acceptable" WTF?!!?
>Hey ScareCrow:What steps do you take in your daily life to avoid being raped? How does rape influence the clothes you chose to wear, the activities you chose to do, the people you chose to hang out with, the times you are comfortable leaving your house? How many seminars have you been to where you were given handy tips to avoid being raped? How many movies have you seen where people like you are brutally raped as a plot point? Hundreds? What about tv shows? Thousands?How often do people who are physically stronger than you demand your attention in public? Have you ever had someone physically stronger than you insist they "help" you carry something to your car or into your house? When you have people over, do you think about whether or not they will leave when you ask? Or if you would be able to make them leave if they refuse? Has anyone who cares about you ever suggested you get a dog "for protection"? When it comes to rape, men and women live in different worlds and from our perspective, "society is constantly sending signals to men that rape is tacitly acceptable."
>society is constantly sending signals to men that rape is tacitly acceptablePlease show me one instance of a woman being raped that made national news in which her claims were immediately believed – rather than question her motive, what she was wearing or if she put herself in that situation. Or, if the victim was young, wondering where her parents were. Just one case where the victim was treated fairly by the national news media. I sure can't think of one – even JonBenet Ramsey and her parents were criticized.
>@triplanetary, I disagree with you that rapists do not know they are rapists. Sure, they avoid using the term, but most rapists are perfectly aware that the victim did not consent. Rapists also tend to be serial rapists (studies of those convicted of at least one rape found an average of about ten rapes, studies of college students found that those who admitted to rapes had an average of about seven). While Harlan is wrong about, well pretty much everything else, he is semi-correct that rapes tend to be committed by a discreet minority of men( at least in the US, studies from parts of Africa show different trends). The problem is that Harlan and his ilk make constant excuses and apologies for the rapists. The cultural apologism for rape and victim blaming enables and encourages the minority of men who are actual rapists. That is what rape culture is: the minority of people who are actually rapists+excuses and apologism+victim blaming+ social acceptability of rape as terrorism against certain bodies.Moving on, this quote:"Boys in bras, boys in heels, boys in pink — all to raise money for women's causes: Is this the 'rape culture' we hear so much about?"is blatantly obtuse (not to mention transphobic and misogynist). I would say that the men who are participating in this sexual assault awareness campaign are doing so precisely to combat the problem. It is like pointing at a union activist being all pro-union and asking "so, what is the anti-union sentiment I keep hearing about?" You can't just take any effort to ameliorate the problem as proof that no problem exists.
>@triplanetary, I disagree with you that rapists do not know they are rapists. Sure, they avoid using the term, but most rapists are perfectly aware that the victim did not consent.Well I suppose what I meant was that people like date rapists often do think that they're not rapists in the same sense that a back-alley rapist is a rapist. They're still terrible people, naturally. But this false distinction is something that rape apologists thrive on. You can find a limitless number of pundits in "respectable" media outlets like WaPo and the WSJ explicitly arguing that date rape isn't rape.While Harlan is wrong about, well pretty much everything else, he is semi-correct that rapes tend to be committed by a discreet minority of men( at least in the US, studies from parts of Africa show different trends).I didn't intend to imply that a majority of men rape.
>Quite a staggering conversation indeed!Allow me to participate:I disagree that rapists do not know that they are not raping other rapists. My line of thought can be separated into two sub-categories on the subject:1. Think saran wrap.2. Too much coffee.If you follow me so far, then allow me to present my rebuttal to various other postulates presented at this local as well:"The media always criticizes the rapee, and not the rapists who do not know that they are not the ones not raping other rapists" agito er go sum."Please show me one instance of a woman being raped that made national news in which her claims were immediately believed"Duke Lacrosse.Crap lady – try reading the blog at "falserapesociety.blogspot.com".People accused of rape (not actually guilty of it) are routinely beaten or killed.What effing planet are you from.DIARRHEA!HA!
>Here is an article a friend posted on Facebook regarding the myth of "she is asking for it." Slightly off topic but the add is awesome.
>Here is an article a friend posted on Facebook regarding the myth of "she is asking for it." Slightly off topic but the add is awesome.I like it! The scene at the department store would be funny if rape culture weren't a real thing. 🙁
>And the accents are delightful.