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| Silly woman, that’s not how to wash a baby! |
It was a question that baffled even the brilliant Dr. Freud: “What do women want?” Freud died without ever knowing the answer to this crucial question, but luckily we won’t have to. Because douchebag blogger MarkyMark has figured it out. What do women want? They want to not get fat.
Did you ever notice how women will fret all the time about whether or not they look fat, even if they don’t? Did you ever wonder why?
I have a theory as to why women go crazy over gaining weight: their sex appeal is ALL they have. Modern women, in their heart of hearts, know that they have nothing else to offer a man. They cannot cook; shoot, some women can’t even boil water! They cannot clean. They cannot offer good companionship, because they’re not good companions; if anything, they’re man hating battle axes who would curse a man by being with him. Yeah, I said it! The modern woman curses a man by being with him! The modern trollop, er woman, offers NOTHING to a man but her sex appeal, and that’s why she freaks out over any weight gain. For me, it’s as simple as that…
Can’t cook, can’t clean. Damn. Now I’ve got this Adam Ant song stuck in my head:
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>Because only modern women have worried about what they look like. Ok. Sure.
>hm… everyone I know calls me the domestic diva and begs for me to cook for them. Methinks there's something wrong here…
>Jesus, this "marky mark" character is actually respected in that lunatic asylum of a community, so good call posting this drivel. They can't claim it's some innocuous comment mostly ignored on a dead thread on a duty forum. I'm sorry, but this person is a complete moron. I am aware I am offering an argument with no substance at this time. But seriously… does anyone even need to argue with this nonsense? How many other threads can you find these creeps insulting fat women?
>*dusty forum (damn, I'm going back to bed)
>It's no wonder boys like him/them are still single…lol
>So men are too dumb to realize that they are being cursed by the presence of a woman?How misandrist.
>Wow, what idiots. I know the stupid 'fat is automatically unsexy' meme is sadly prevalent, but this dude has been brainwashed to the extreme.
>Marky Mark says on his blog that he will be 49 in two weeks. I thought he was younger. He must be very frustrated because he cannot get laid.
>And here I thought some women obsessed about getting fat because large portions of our society thought that fat people are disgusting/sexually unappealing and that being a sex object is all that a woman is good for and therefore spend huge amounts of time attacking women's bodies and body image.
>This is one of the best things about MRAs. If they're not complaining about how all women are fat and disgusting, it's because they're too busy complaining about how all women are not-fat and disgusting.It's like women shouldn't even give a shit what they think, kind of.
>Marky Mark says on his blog that he will be 49 in two weeks. I thought he was younger. He must be very frustrated because he cannot get laid.A man's sex drive beings to drop in his 40s, and MarkyMark has made it pretty clear that he's quite happy without getting laid. Sorry to burst your bubble there.
>A man's sex drive begins to drop in his 40s if he had a normal sex life, otherwise he will still be obsessed by what he cannot get.And here is a posting were Marky Mark explain why he failed to find a woman on E-Harmony. And it explains, why at 49, he is still alone.
>Wow…that guy has issues.
>@avpd0nmmngOMG, I just read that post about MM's E-Harmony experience and laughed my ass off. There are so many things wrong with this guy I can't even begin to explain but thank you so much for pointing that out. I've been doing laundry and cleaning all day and I really needed some comic relief. His post above was good, but getting into the nitty gritty of why oh why E-Harmony didn't work out for him is comic gold. His poor brother-in-law that was trying to help him. He must of have felt like beating his head against a wall. Oh, and I didn't wear a dress like the lady above is wearing while I did my laundry so for sure I'm an AW bitch. Yay me!
>Yeesh, that E-Harmony story is cringeworthy. You know, it's really not hard to frame an unconditional love of motorcycles as a good thing. "Looking for a lady who shares my unconditional love of motorcycles" instead of "Suck it, hypothetical bitch" might be a good start.I recently started looking into online dating myself and of course E-Harmony is out of the question, as are most places that charge. I learned that there is a dating service for absolutely everyone: straights, gays, fat people, people who want the sugardaddy style relationship, self-professed ugly people, people suffering from any of the major STDs, marijuana enthusiasts, geeks, gamers, and of course, thinly disguised mail-order bride services (warning! pricey!). I'm sure if he were really interested in dating, he could find a site more to his tastes than E-Harmony. Hell, even Sean Hannity had a dating site for awhile, it might even still be active.
>Or you could ask one of these MRA types to set you up with someone. *watches the puff of dust that was Kysokisaen*
>Don't you "perfect princesses" get it? He's a fantastic catch! He says so right in his post! You're all just too deluded to see it. I mean, a guy who refers to women as "skanks" is a guy to bring home to mother, right? I tell you, American women…Ew…I need a shower now.
>"The modern woman curses a man by being with him!"This would also make a good T-shirt. So many illustration possibilities.
>*makes some bacon for CB* It is okay, he would not last five seconds with my mother.
>A man's sex drive beings to drop in his 40s, and MarkyMark has made it pretty clear that he's quite happy without getting laid.I believe this guy is a 50-year-old virgin because he chooses not to have sex exactly as much as I believe you get kicked off juries because of your phenomenal intellect.
>Oh my lord. Just read MarkyMark's story. Complete and utter lack of self-awareness = comedy gold! I may have to do a post on this.
>Oh, that eHarmony post… I managed to keep from laughing out loud until the very last paragraph ("I'm a hell of a catch!"), and then of course I did, and my husband asked why I was laughing, and then I had to read the whole thing out loud. It's perfect. It's like a tiny shimmering jewel, every flawless crystalline facet of which is the word "skank."But… I'm confused. I thought one of the things wrong with women was that we all go crazy for bad boys on motorcycles who don't treat us well. Now we're at fault for not going out with a guy on a motorcycle who constantly insults us? We just can't do anything right, can we?And oh, that poor, poor woman who went on the one date with him. Oh dear.
>Oh my lord. Just read MarkyMark's story. Complete and utter lack of self-awareness = comedy gold!Isn't he the one who took a story from the Onion completely seriously a while back?
>That piece on eHarmony is indeed hilarious! I bet he's the first to complain about "leeches", too, after summarily rejecting any woman who indicates she's financially independent or career-minded. It's like Bee said above: care about your appearance? Contemptible! Don't care? Worse!I wish he'd posted the actual profile, because I'm imagining "WANTED: someone to despise and sneer at" and the truth is probably a lot funnier.
>Isn't he the one who took a story from the Onion completely seriously a while back?YepOh my lord. Just read MarkyMark's story. Complete and utter lack of self-awareness = comedy gold! I may have to do a post on this.Please do!