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| Apparently, it’s only 15p! |
With Valentine’s day fast approaching, I thought I’d point you all to an interesting little set of online apps, courtesy of the fellows at NoMarriage.com: calculators that purport to tell dudes the true cost of sex — with wives, girlfriends, and what the kids today are calling “randoms.”
The assumptions behind each of these calculators are pretty revealing: they essentially assume that guys generally resent the women they’re involved with, and only spend time with them because it’s necessary to pretend to be interested in them in order to get sex. The calculators also assume that guys are more or less paying for everything.
I ran a few numbers, and the results are telling: for the guys for whom these calculators are basically designed — that is, guys who generally dislike spending non-sexy time with women, and who believe that “every kiss begins with Kay” — the cost can easily be hundreds of dollars for each and every time they and their special ladies manage to set aside their resentments long enough to engage in a grudging bout of the old in-and-out.
By contrast, for guys going out with independent (and perhaps even feminist) women they actually like and enjoy spending time with, who pay their own way, and who live nearby, the putative cost of sex can literally be pennies a pop. For married men who actually like their working wives, the cost of sex can actually be negative, because it’s cheaper to cohabit than to live alone.
In a nutshell: misogyny costs you, big time. But actually liking women? That makes sense — dollars and sense!
For dedicated Men Going Their Own Way, the calculators, with a little tweaking, can also be used to calculate the cost of NOT having sex. Using the girlfriend calculator, replace “How many hours do you spend having stupid conversations with your GF (per week)” with “How many hours do you spend having stupid conversations with other MGTOW (per week).” Ignore the rest of the questions until you get to the one about your hourly wage. Then, for the question asking how many times you have sex per week, ignore this wording and simply input “1.” Voila! You have calculated the (opportunity) cost per week of not having sex!
So, dear readers, what is YOUR cost of sex?
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>They left out the cost of birth control.Oh, riiiiiight, not their problem. How foolish of me.
>According to them, zero since I am a girl and girls are never expected to pay for anything.
>I actually tried to fill this out regarding the relationship I have with my boyfriend, but I got stopped at the first question, "Hours in stupid conversation per week." I kind of *like* the stupid and silly conversations we get into (If the Watchmen graphic novel were a tabletop RPG, who is playing each character?).Apparently, these dudes feel that sex should happen whenever they want, with minimal effort and no concern to anyone else who might be in the room. There's also no quantifier for quality – I'd rather have really good sex once a week than tepid sex every day.
>Hold up. Is that Courtney Love on the cover of that book?Because that bitch is expensive.
>I cost thirty bucks per fuck, apparently. I'm cheaper than a whore.
>$20/month. I consistently try to bring the cost lower than the cost of condoms, which roughly *giggle* equates to having sex at least 20 times a month. Sometimes I cannot convince my partner of the supreme logic of this plan, that makes the cost per occasion rise slightly. I'm thinking about switching to a form of birth control which costs $40/ 5 years. Which will make the cost per occasion plummet.
>Their hand is free, lets hope they use that.
>$200/mo if you use the girlfriend calculator; $170/mo if you use the wife calculator. The main expense is mostly due to our schedules, which only allow us to hang out together 1 day/week and so we spend the ENTIRE day together. But I also don't like big-ticket items (jewelry, perfume, shoes, games); both of us buy our clothes second-hand; and we don't take vacations together, so that helps cut down costs.What the calculator doesn't take into account is splitting costs of living. So I end up actually saving him money, even considering the cost of his time. I notice the wife calculator doesn't take into account tax breaks and lower insurance rates that often come with being married. Those can amount to quite a bit.
>$200/hr. Call me, sweetheart.
>It's seriously telling that they don't seem to be aware of the fact that most women LIKE having sex. No need to pay for it in any way or form!That they have to pay their girlfriends/wives tells us more about them than they want, I think.In a way, I find it really sad that they see relationships as having to endure their partner (watching shows with them they don't like, talking about things they don't care about, etc.) and paying for them so, in exchange, they may have a warm hole every now and then. It's no wonder they are so frustrated. If two partners in a relationship resent each other and have to actually calculate the cost-benefit ratio then HOLY SHIT THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY REALLY WRONG!
>Cheeze-a-pete. What is the cost-benefit analysis of your child? Your dog? Your cat? Your best friend?The corporatist mind set is really takin' the f%ck over.
>I know that it's a tired and cliche thing to say, but if a guy is calculating the "cost" of his girlfriend, perhaps he should just invest in a Real Doll instead. In the long run, it would be cheaper and be what he professes to want.That, or shell out some money for therapy. Either way, it should help.
>My boyfriend and I sat down together and did the math. Because we're students at an out of state university, he makes -$25 an hour (because of tuition). Hence, not factoring in time, the cost of having sex with me is about $2. When factoring in time, the cost of having sex with me is -$3. Apparently he makes money by having sex with me?
>Are we honestly (in the comments here) humoring the idea that it costs men money to date (fuck) women? Are some of you women here running the calculation just to see how cheap you are, like it's a testament to your low-maintenance? Okay then, let's talk about my fucking expenses to date men. Dumb clothes I only wear on dates, makeup (since I'm never perfect, apparently) the time and effort it takes to be acceptably thin, plastic surgery for a lot of women, birth control for women is WAY more expensive than condoms…I mean seriously. In the end if you're thinking about relationships in terms of cost then you really shouldn't be in one. Like someone said above, get a real doll instead.
>Are we honestly (in the comments here) humoring the idea that it costs men money to date(fuck) women? PROTIP: They're being sarcastic.
>@ Keiko44 – I'm just entertained that the calculator allows negative numbers.
>Keiko, I ran it to see how much my husband is costing me. I'm the highearner.He is an economical choice! Also he doesn't waste any of my time.
>Lordy, Can we just say "Dudes, Thats not what relationships are like, If you are spending time with a person doing these things you are not having a relationship. There now, isnt that better? go have a real relationship,WITH SOMEONE YOU LIKE!"
>um sorry about that screen name, side effect of logging in?
>I like to think of it in terms of how much time and money I save by NOT having sex with anyone. No time spent shaving areas that don't need shaving, no time spent cleaning up when I otherwise wouldn't need to clean up, no time or money spent on STD tests, pregnancy tests, EC, or abortions … ahhhhh. Life is good. Of course, the same sorts of guys who view women as emotional harpies who are only good for a fuck and nothing more are the same sorts who call me a selfish bitch for not putting myself on the meat market. It's pretty confusing.
>"The corporatist mind set is really takin' the f%ck over."That's something that's struck me about a lot of the stuff on this blog, both in David's posts and in the comments from MRA/MGTOW guys: this insistence on seeing human relationships as financial transactions. They seem to think that the way to get a rewarding relationship is to give as little as possible while taking as much as you can in return. Because that means you got a bargain!Like these sex calculators. If you have a real relationship with a person you don't hate, these questions don't even make sense. I tried filling out the wife one to see how much my husband was costing me, but it's hopeless.How many hours do you spend having pointless conversations with your wife per week: This is a negative? That's one of the great pleasures of love or friendship or family, the pointess conversations.How many hours do you spend doing other things with your wife you would rather not do: Do they mean things my husband wants to do and I don't? In which case, of course I sometimes do things I'd rather not do for his sake, just as he does for me. Or do the mean things neither one of us wants to do, and I'm supposed to blame it on my husband that we have to spend a Saturday afternoon getting our taxes done when I'd rather be eating ice cream?How much would you spend on housing if you were single (per month – make your best guess): Um, I'd be paying twice as much, because my husband wouldn't be there to pay his half of the mortgage. Or am I supposed to guess how much I'd be spending in a fantasy world where I didn't make any of the choices that led to this marriage, this house, this life? In that case, my best guess is that Warren Buffett would decide to spend his fortune buying me a private island and paying me a million dollars a month to live in it. So, negative a million dollars.I think I've figured out how this game works!How much do you spend on your wife (besides housing) per month: On groceries? Comic books? The gas bill? Diamond rings? Cat food? What is this question? Does the guy who wrote these questions understand that married couples typically live together?Big ticket items (not included above), such as a car, vacations, etc you buy your wife – per year: Okay, if you are in a marriage where you regularly buy your wife cars you're not allowed to drive and vacations on which you are not invited, I suggest you get out of that relationship. Also, who buys a new car on a yearly basis? I will punch you if I find you.How many times do you have sex with your wife per year: I just like to picture them counting.
>I was a little surprised to find the gap between my base cost (around $15) and my "real cost" ($54). The low base cost made sense, what with all that feminist check-splitting and the rarity of luxury dining opportunities in my area, but the real cost only assumed like 10 or 15 hours of interaction a week. Where is this $4/hr value on his leisure time coming from, and why isn't it canceled out by the value of mine?
>It proves that the only type of sex these guys can have is with a prostitute.
>> That's something that's struck me about a lot of the stuff on this blog, both in David's posts and in the comments from MRA/MGTOW guys: this insistence on seeing human relationships as financial transactions.This.
>By contrast, for guys going out with independent (and perhaps even feminist) women they actually like and enjoy spending time with, who pay their own way, and who live nearby, the putative cost of sex can literally be pennies a pop.Women who pay their own way? I asked all my friends who work in restaurants and movie theaters how many times, in the course of a shift, they see women on dates paying their own way instead of the guy footing the entire bill. Their answers ranged from zero to two. TWO, on an entire shift!!!I'm presently dating one of those rare women who pays her own way, but she was raised in Indonesia by a single father. In fact, the one thing that all the good women I have dated have in common is good fathers in their lives.