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| She’s out of your league, pal! |
You may recall a little ditty from days gone by called “If you wanna be happy.” The song, the one hit of one-hit-wonder Jimmy Soul, was a song with a message for men in love. That message? Well, if my mere mentioning of the song hasn’t already gotten it stuck in your head, let me remind you of its basic thesis:
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Why is this? Well, put simply, pretty women are entitled bitches who will ruin your life and break your heart, while ugly women will be so grateful for your attention that they’ll treat you well and prepare meals in a timely fashion:
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind
By “piece of mind,” I believe Mr. Soul is referring to “blowjobs.”
But, alas, this simple formula for male happiness has been rendered ineffective. And it’s all the fault of evil manginas. A fellow called Lincoln, posting on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, reports that these dastardly woman-worshipping half-men have upset the old order by actively pursuing ugly women and making them think they’re all that. The horror! All this mangina attention has given
even the most ugliest man faced mountain beasts [an] overinflated sense of their own self-importance, and the net result is the most repulsive, vile, and ill-tempered skanks you could ever meet. Even now I can’t understand it, I can’t even look at these women much less want to bang them, but there it is. It’s already a given that the really attractive ones will of course behave the same way, but if even the ugliest ones behave like prima donnas, who’s left?
It seems an unsolvable dilemma. But Lincoln believes he’s found a way out: amputees.
The ideal is to find a beautiful woman that no mangina wants. it’s possible, but they usually have some kind of trait that puts men off for sometimes the fucking stupidest reason. One example was this one armed woman I knew of once. She had lost her arm in a car accident, and she was the sweetest, most kindest girl you could have met, but for some reason guys weren’t lining up the door for her. Stupid. If I ran across her again I wouldn’t hesitate to ask her out.
Love will always find a way.
If you now need to get “If you wanna be happy” out of your head, this ought to do it:
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>@magdelyn:"That's me without make-up."What are you trying to do – make me feel funny in the pants!?
>Now the standard apparently is for a guy to look like Brad Pitt (yuck!)Oh hell, I'm with you on that one!! My taste leans more towards Jeff Goldblum.
>"The fact that there are far more fat MEN than there are fat women on TV shows that fat men are more socially acceptable than fat women."There are billions of BBW appreciation web sites, how many appreciate big men? There are dating websites that revolve around BBWs. How many are like this for big men? There are BBW beauty pageants, are there any for big men?The irony!
>The idea that women only like alphas etc., etc., is patently ridiculous. Reasonable men and women like and love people with whom they connect. I am a thin, blonde, successful, well-educated woman, cohabiting with a caring, intelligent, much lower-income fat man. Were we put in "leagues," I would probably be way out of his, but the point of a feminist relationship is that we love and respect each other for who we are, not how we look or what we earn. We bond over a mutual love of sci fi, love of camping and the outdoors, and dreams of one day having our own hobby-farm, etc.
>wytchfinde555 and Kratch:Seeing fat men on tv means that men are "allowed" to be fat in society. Not seeing fat women on tv means women are not "allowed" to be fat in society simply because they are not shown in our media. You hardly ever see fat women in relationships on television (I can only think of the beautiful Molly from Mike and Molly.) But fat men are abundant in relationships with "beautiful" women. Unfortunately fat men are all portrayed pretty much one way- as fools, but at least they are seen at all. Fat women are not portrayed as "super models and super heroines" they're simply not seen.
>"Are online Dating Criteria Sexist?""According to these newly updated guidelines, PlentyofFish matches women to men with equal or greater income and equal or greater height. Because heaven forbid we outearn our partners. And heaven forbid anyone ever have sex with a short guy.Furthermore, the site's newly posted matching criteria makes the odd claim that it thinks users should be sharing certain experiences for the first time (so, like, if I've never tried anal, are they only going to match me with men who have similarly never tried anal? Because two people have never had anal sex trying to have anal sex sounds like a recipe for disaster) which sounds a little bit like they're saying that people should have similar levels of sexual experience in order to be matched up, or have no sexual experience at all, which is another kind of fucked-up way of assuming to know what people's romantic preferences might be.On one hand, there are plenty of women (ladyfish?) who prefer to date men who are older, or taller, or richer, or all three, and that's just fine, but where this gets annoying is where the site decides that all women want the same things from romantic partners. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that a diverse population of women has a diverse population of needs and wants, and it's insulting to insist that we're homogeneous. Now who wants to go shopping for shoes and eat some yogurt while talking about ways to trick our old rich husbands into impregnating us and/or buying us things?!?Read more: http://jezebel.com/5735069/is-online-dating-sites-matching-criteria-sexist#ixzz1BQRarMnD"
>From Hugo Schwyzer, a male feminist:"Heat doesn’t require beauty: on “bowflex boy”, monogamy, and desire""In my post, I wrote of being a college boy with an average and not particularly impressive physique who found himself having sex one night with a friend, Debbie, who had a poster of a stunningly perfect man hanging right over her bed. In post-coital conversation, I had asked why she (we had never hooked up before) would want to be with me when she had this flawless vision to look at. From the original post, Debbie’s words:“Hugo, I like looking at beautiful bodies. He’s a gorgeous guy. But the fact that I think it’s beautiful, even the fact that I am attracted to the image, doesn’t mean that that is the only kind of man I can be attracted to…I can appreciate perfection without expecting it, and I can really be just as attracted to a normal body as to a perfect one.”I wasn’t insulted. I was relieved. And it occurred to me, of course, that that was how I thought about my partners as well. I liked looking at sculpted, idealized bodies — but that was hardly the limit of what I was attracted to. As in so many areas of life, it’s helpful to think in terms of a spectrum of people to whom we could be attracted. The media offers us images we may or may not find beautiful, but they tend to offer us only a narrow slice of that spectrum. What we can want and what we do want is broader than we’re told."
>nicko81m:BBW "appreciation" websites are usually just porno sites. And when it comes to dating, look up BHM, or Big Handsome Man on any one of those dating sites and you'll find that it's just as much for them.Men don't usually participate in beauty pageants, but I totally encourage you to do so. And fat girl beauty pageants are mocked for the most part. A fat woman, today, would never win Miss America or anything. Not that I think beauty pageants are wonderful things for women to do, I really don't.
>ScareCrow: The picture is actually from a Twilight Zone episode back in the day. A lady is in the hospital getting plastic surgery to fix her hideous face. It's called "Eye of the Beholder." Good episode.
>But if a woman rejects that short, fat, bald guy, we're called shallow bitches. Even if he doesn't have any other personality traits to make him interesting. Whereas the MRAs all want to date the hottest women possible, but that's not perceived as shallow. No siree.You reminded me of one of my posts within this thread:"But (and this is not directed at anyone in particular) don't condemn most women for being vain, shallow, manipulative creatures while soundly denying similar traits among most men, especially when you've just listed those similar traits that are shared among most men (as vagrantsvoice pointed out, gamers would say that men are attracted to one thing, and one thing only: physical appearance) … that's a portion of what makes me unsupportive of most MRAs and the MRM, not my "inner man-hater". I do not accept that male shallowness is somehow far more noble than female shallowness."
>DUHHH UH – DERRR – UHHH – DUHHH TANKS LEXEEEEDIIEEDUH UHM DUH, UHM DOH – KAY.
>LexieDi Fat men get mocked too. What's your point? A fat man would never win the most sexy guy award in America.Even if a beauty pageant attempted to take place for fat men, it would not happen. It would get more ridicule than BBWNot that I am fat, I am skinny, but I can see straight through the BS when women express that fat women have it harder then fat men. I see it totally the other way around.There are countless dating websites out there that appreciate BBWs. I hardly see such websites that focus on big men
>@Elizabeth:One more data point, I have a strong preference for solidly built men with facial hair. Especially if they possess a mechanical aptitude.
>"Seeing fat men on tv means that men are "allowed" to be fat in society."—LexieDiApparently, you haven't been paying close attention to the BBW/Goddess/diva stuff lately. It's judgmental to not accept overweight women but men are still mocked for potguts or being simply not in shape. Nicko is right. And fat men don't get the hot woman—period. Years ago there was a reality TV show for Average Joe 2 and the chef was overweight. He got axed from the program quickly—gorgeous women almost NEVER date overweight men unless they have a mammoth bank account(s), social prestige, and a never ending amount of charisma. Even that is no promise; people typically graviate towards others of similar attractiveness physically. That's life. I can tell everyone this much—when I was almost reed thin and pale skinned I might as well have been part of the wall. Now that I work out 3-4 times a week and eat healthy, I may not be Adonis but women do notice me. A lot more.If you don't think appearance doesn't count with women, you are in denial, naive, or have much to learn.
>"The media offers us images we may or may not find beautiful, but they tend to offer us only a narrow slice of that spectrum. What we can want and what we do want is broader than we’re told." —HugoHe should talk. He's a confessed ex-womanizer and someone that had his share of decent looking women, I'm sure. But he can play the Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder card and condemn others who don't have that view.
>Everyone: There were a couple of pretty substantive comments caught in the spam filter that I just unblocked; if you've been following the discussion here you might want to scroll up and read them.
>Why should fat men get the hot chicks?
>Outside of t.v of course that teaches them that somehow they deserve them.
>ScareCrow: You're the one who asked. And I was perfectly respectful in giving you an informative answer.Nicko and Wytch:I didn't say fat men don't get mocked. They do. However the threshold for what is an acceptable size is higher for men than it is for women. Just because fat women have banded together (along with some men)to stand up and proclaim that our bodies are perfect as they are- fat or not doesn't mean that fat women aren't harassed daily. My brother's fatter than I am but I'm the one who gets food thrown at me and yelled at from cars. Even my little brother knows that, in general, fat women have it harder than fat men.My boyfriend's fat and he's got me and I'm hot. Sooo.. yeah, fat men do get hot women.Did I say looks don't count with women? No. I said that fat men are at least represented in the media where as fat women hardly ever are.Nicko: I'm sorry, but I don't see how you have much of a standing in an argument about fatness if you're not fat. I've been fat my whole life and have been around my brother who has been fat his whole life and he and I discuss the differences in treatment all the time. You have an opinion but you have little to no experience to back it up.Unfortunately, the pressure on men to be thinner is growing, but that pressure has been on women for a very long time. None of it is good and we should all be allowed to be who we are without ridicule.
>Kave: Why shouldn't fat men get "hot" women? Why shouldn't fat women get "hot" men? Why does it matter who "gets" who? It's supposed to be about caring and love.
>@LexieDi – magdelyn already told me it was her without her makeup on.You're obviously jealous that YOU don't look that good.And please stop undressing me with your eyes.
>Kratch-read her comment again and then his. See the insult there? Anyway, long term self improvements do not stick if all you are doing is trying to achieve a short term goal. Once the goal is achieved, there is no reason to keep going at it.
>Hide-ewww! I cannot stand facial hair! You can have all the men with facial hair.
>OK, let's do a reality check here.Nobody gives a flying fuck who *you* think is attractive. By "you" I mean every single person in the world, including myself.Suppose I explained who I thought was attractive. How could that possibly matter to you, the reader? It's not like I'm some authority on that. And you aren't, either. In fact, no one is, even the self-appointed judges of appearance who decide who wins pageants and who gets on magazine covers.The only reason I can think of to share beauty standards in public is to sort strangers into beautiful and ugly. Which is something that has nothing to do with having friendships and relationships–you know, with people who aren't strangers, and who care what you think.For instance I have a friend (happily married, with kids) whose face looks like a movie monster, because when he was a kid someone threw battery acid in his face and it had to be reconstructed, and now he's blind and has a face made out of skin grafts. I love this guy, and he's a blast to hang out with, and crack jokes with, and talk about tech stuff, and I really couldn't care less if some random person who's not his wife thinks he's ugly and therefore doesn't want to be his friend. Because such a person would be a total asshole.
>Scarecrow, I can't imagine why young, beautiful women would, instead of laughing, snap and yell at you when you make your "humorous [or so you think] and smart-ass" remarks, I really can't. Yet you say on your blog that that is typical for you. It must be because they prefer those sociopathic alpha thugs to a gentleman like you.