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| She’s out of your league, pal! |
You may recall a little ditty from days gone by called “If you wanna be happy.” The song, the one hit of one-hit-wonder Jimmy Soul, was a song with a message for men in love. That message? Well, if my mere mentioning of the song hasn’t already gotten it stuck in your head, let me remind you of its basic thesis:
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Why is this? Well, put simply, pretty women are entitled bitches who will ruin your life and break your heart, while ugly women will be so grateful for your attention that they’ll treat you well and prepare meals in a timely fashion:
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind
By “piece of mind,” I believe Mr. Soul is referring to “blowjobs.”
But, alas, this simple formula for male happiness has been rendered ineffective. And it’s all the fault of evil manginas. A fellow called Lincoln, posting on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, reports that these dastardly woman-worshipping half-men have upset the old order by actively pursuing ugly women and making them think they’re all that. The horror! All this mangina attention has given
even the most ugliest man faced mountain beasts [an] overinflated sense of their own self-importance, and the net result is the most repulsive, vile, and ill-tempered skanks you could ever meet. Even now I can’t understand it, I can’t even look at these women much less want to bang them, but there it is. It’s already a given that the really attractive ones will of course behave the same way, but if even the ugliest ones behave like prima donnas, who’s left?
It seems an unsolvable dilemma. But Lincoln believes he’s found a way out: amputees.
The ideal is to find a beautiful woman that no mangina wants. it’s possible, but they usually have some kind of trait that puts men off for sometimes the fucking stupidest reason. One example was this one armed woman I knew of once. She had lost her arm in a car accident, and she was the sweetest, most kindest girl you could have met, but for some reason guys weren’t lining up the door for her. Stupid. If I ran across her again I wouldn’t hesitate to ask her out.
Love will always find a way.
If you now need to get “If you wanna be happy” out of your head, this ought to do it:
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>"But men get to express more of their humanity."Really? I can be anything from a girly girl to a tom-boy, and no one bats an eye. A woman can wear clothes which are masculine or feminine-other than a jock strap there are no clothes which are considered too male for women to wear. They can carry a bifold wallet or a purse. They can drive a truck, motorcycle, car, or any combination. They can work in any field without being shamed, from farming to fashion design. They can have relationships with each other and be physically and emotionally close with other women without being shamed. They can show emotion in public without being shamed. Men are demeaned and distained for any of the above.Men cannot wear women's clothes, cannot work in certain jobs, cannot have close relationships with other men, etc, without being shamed and ridiculed. Heck, driving a Prius or a scooter is considered unmasculine. Men have really not shed any of their gender roles while women have shed pretty much every gender role. Yes, much of that ridicule is by other men, just as gender roles for women were (and are in other countries) enforced by other women. There are people who still feel women have gender roles, but it is very possibly for a woman to live her whole life doing what she chooses and the gender roles do not effect her ability to work and have relationships. It is not so for men. They can and are fired from jobs and socially ostracized for something as simple as wearing a skirt.
>"First of all, BQ, those mainstream media articles are reactionary and inaccurate. Their bottom line is always to urge women to forgo education and career lest men will be turned off by their success."Actually, their bottom line is to sell their product. It would be stupid for a business to encourage it's customers to make less money to buy their products. Where do you get these ideas from?
>LexieBecause they don't. 10's mate with 10's 9's with 9's etc. 99% of the time. The problem is many 3 men expect and want 10 women. It really doesn't happen in real life and this makes them angry. I'm only posting numbers because that's what mra's do. I've never seen a number rating system on a feminist blog. As an off note I've been potrayed as a moderate mra on this site by members of the spearhaed. I'm not, I'm just a worried brother who watches their scihzophrenic brothers online activities and sometimes posts a moderate message. He won't read this blog because it doesn't justify his delusional thinking. So I can vent here about what I've endured for the last eight years. I'm also D, but I could not log into that account.
>> Because they don't. 10's mate with 10's 9's with 9's etc. 99% of the time. The problem is many 3 men expect and want 10 women. It really doesn't happen in real life and this makes them angry. I'm only posting numbers because that's what mra's do. I've never seen a number rating system on a feminist blog.Another useful reality check.Reality. It's the only one we've got.
>ScareCrow: I have a man that I don't have to undress with my eyes. But if it makes you feel better to believe I am objectifying you, then, by all means, have a nice dream about it or something.
>Kane: My point is that I don't know why we have to have number ratings in the first place. To me, my boyfriend is a 10, but to the populace he may not be. What is a 10 changes from generation to generation and from person to person.
>LexieMy wife and I are both in our late forties, we are both 10's in each others eyes. I feel that towards her, and I see it in her eyes and words everyday.Normal people know what you're trying to say.
>If you are the same Kave that occasionally posts at The Spearhead, I have mentioned you at this blog as being a moderate MRA, assuming you were MRA due to being a member at Spearhead.I'd like to say that I am glad that you found this blog and I wish you well in trying to look out for your brother.
>This pretty much sums up the fat men vs. fat women thing:FAT WIFEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14DZsxgP_SE&feature=player_embedded
>Pam.I am, and I am sorry that I gave the illusion of being an mra. At some point I will write about the mix of the mra and his history but at this point it's hard to put into words and not to blame individual posters who may be very well meaning in heart for whats happened in our family because of his illness.
>Kave,Nothing to be sorry about, I just often wondered why such a level-headed guy (in my opinion, anyway) wanted to hang with the bunch who frequent that forum. I have never posted at that site, just lurk there on occasion to see what kind of nonsense some of them are spewing…laughed my ass off when you asked one of them how would it be possible for all the women to be on the front line when they were all in rape camps (same poster who advocated for rape camps was also wanting to put women on the front line).I, for one, would be interested in hearing about the mix of the MRA and his history, but I can understand and respect your difficulty in verbalizing it.
>There's a difference in content to the advice given to men and women about changing themselves to attract the opposite sex.When men say they can't get a second date, they're told to brush their teeth, bathe, wear reasonably attractive clothing, think of interesting topics to discuss, be polite, and smile. These are all things you'd do if you wanted a date, a friend, a job, or a sale.When women say they can't get a second date, they're told to let the guy choose what to do, lose weight, wear sexier clothing, put on some lipstick, consider cosmetic surgery, don't be demanding, laugh at his jokes even if you don't think they're funny, don't try to seem too smart. Those are all things you'd do if you were a sex worker or slave.
>Pam,It's funny because mra's say that women don't have a sense of humor but not one of them laughed at the whole "all women in sex camps" and on the font line thing. I'm glad someone got a chuckle out of it beside myself.Long story short my brother hears voices and he has gotten a lot of support of his voices in the mra community. I know people have to take people at their word online, I try to not be angry with the people who have told my schizophrenic brother that the voices in his head are real. But they have impeded his treatment not to mention cost our family literally hundreds of thousands of dollars. Perhaps we would have had to pay for boarding school for my niece and nephew; perhaps he would have neglected his treatment anyways, and perhaps his children and his ex partner would have lived in fear even if the mra weren’t there to support his delusions.In my brother’s mind: His wife left him for no reason and everyday attacks him.In reality: Baring marrying a man with diagnosed schizophrenia who was on meds at the time, and being a slightly hippie type who normally wouldn’t fit into our family she’s done pretty well. My brother has posted at length about the child support he has paid. He’s never paid a dime nor has the case ever gone to court. Our family has paid for his children since they were five-ish; we have also paid for him to not be homeless since again he went off his meds. In my brother’s mind: His daughter was a slut bitch just like her mother since she was twelve. He’s told me this repeatedly. In reality: His ex is a decent if not hippie type woman. His daughter is an absolute joy who just got married in November. A wedding that was hidden from him, as is her address. In my brother’s mind: His son has the same issues that he does. In reality: My nephew does not have schizophrenia hence he does not have his fathers view on women in general. My nephew like my niece has twice been subjected to life threatening incidents where my brother decided that if his kids would not live with him they would not live. Of course there are many more “In my brother’s mind”.Our family is very lucky. We have the resources to help these kids and my brother. But it’s hard to tell your brother it’s right that he’s in a mental locked facility when a couple of hundred of men and women online are telling him he’s the victim. I can’t blame the mra completely for feeding his fantasies, again I’m sure they are well meaning and just take him at his word. But they have made my life harder. Not to mention my niece and nephew, parents etc.
>Biscuit Queen: "Actually, their bottom line is to sell their product. It would be stupid for a business to encourage it's customers to make less money to buy their products. Where do you get these ideas from?"BQ, I get these ideas from observation and the simple truth that in an old and entrenched industry, people are far more likely to bow to tradition rather than act rationally, when tradition and rationality are at odds with each other. You, on the other hand, make the mistake of assuming that people who need to sell magazines or products advertised in them will pursue that objective in a rational manner.Let's take one obvious example of merchants deliberately killing the goose that lays the golden egg. It is a well-known fact that advertisers obsessively target the 15-25 demographic, although it is the demographic with the least money and therefore the least buying power. Why? Tradition and cultural pressure, that's why. Sure, you can argue that people between the ages of 15-25 are the most impressionable and impulsive, get consumer credit easily, and lack the experience of dealing with debt. However, any smart executive has to realize that driving someone into bankruptcy with a cheap car and a string of midnight pizzas will make it that much more unlikely for that person to spend money on BMW's and Prada bags 20 years down the road.Which brings me to my next point: people whose bottom line is to sell stuff think short-term. They care about this year's balance sheet. They don't give a shit about problems that their successors will have to deal with 20 years from now, when they are retired and living it up in Boca Raton. They want to make money NOW, even if the ways in which they do it will undercut sales in the distant future. Inflammatory, reactionary articles sell tabloids today, and I assure you, those who publish them do not care one fig about the possibility that women may draw the obvious inference and as a result, have less money to buy that tabloid in some distant future. Après moi, le déluge: it's basic human nature.Contrary to what you seem to be suggesting here, both advertising and popular mass media pander heavily to blatant sexist stereotypes and strictly defined gender roles, with perhaps a nod to political correctness here and there. Advertisers and publishers of tabloids make a bet that by validating bias, they will get people to buy the product. And thus, household cleaning commercials feature only women cleaning and doing laundry. Commercials with cooking scenes almost always have the woman cooking; on rare occasions where the cooking is done by a man, it's always for a surprise romantic meal — the fact that it's a surprise implying that the man doesn't ordinarily cook, even though he is more than capable. Advertisers have no qualms about telling men that they can put the bitch in her place by eating a greasy sandwich or putting on a pair of chinos; that giving your wife to a bunch of thugs to rape and murder in order to save your tires is funny; and that compromising on anything in a relationship makes them whimps, because "real men" just order their women about. And of course, we have tabloid articles concern-trolling that women who don't dedicate their lives to being someone's home appliance can't find love.
>Kave, my sympathies. Obviously a very difficult situation.
>It's funny because mra's say that women don't have a sense of humor but not one of them laughed at the whole "all women in sex camps" and on the font line thing. I'm glad someone got a chuckle out of it beside myself.I'm not surprised that not one of them laughed at your mocking the glaring contradiction evident in his proposed "cures" for "the woman problem". Next thing you know, he'll have all of us women in the coal mines…but only when we're not serving on the front line or grazing around in the sex camp. Not only are MRAs seemingly completely oblivious to their many contradictions, but they're not about to expose themselves to ridicule for breaking rank (and they accuse ALL women of having "herd mentality") and admitting that a mockery directed at one of their own was humourous.Women don't have a sense of humour because women aren't laughing uproariously at the zillionth time that they've heard "Ah, you must be one of those hairy-pitted, hairy-legged man-hating lesbian gorilla cat ladies" (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). I dunno, somewhere between the tenth and the zillionth time I've heard that, it's just somehow lost its edge. But MRAs think that it's just as hilarious the zillion time it's stated as it was the first time it was stated.And would somebody please explain to me where this bit about the cats comes from.I try to not be angry with the people who have told my schizophrenic brother that the voices in his head are real.Perhaps they honestly DO think that the voices in his head (that he must be telling them about) are metaphorical — perhaps being inner voices of intuition or something of that nature. Not that that helps with the reality of the situation, but even if you DID try to tell them the truth, they wouldn't believe you because you've been branded a troll for not completely toeing the MRA line. So very sad.Thank you for sharing a bit of your life experience with us. And although a blog site can't really help you directly with what you are facing, I do hope that you will stick around this one for a while and enjoy the lively banter. If nothing else, perhaps it will provide you with some comic relief.
>Thanks Pam and David.I am addicted to this blog! In the eight or so years I've been tracking his online activity I have never (or rarely) smiled doing so. I've laughed out loud in the last few weeks; in fact I've read out loud entries over family dinner. (my father loves you)David you have done a great thing for my family. I can't put it into words how wonderful it is to know that you are not alone in seeing how ludicrous all this is.
>Hey Kave–David F. knows my email, so if you ever need a friendly online pen pal to vent to let me know; someone in an online feminist community did the same for me when I was coping with "divorcing" (so to speak) my abusive mother, so I wouldn't mind paying it forward. :)Either way, I hope things get better for you. You sound like you've been doing all you can to make things better. A good person to talk to about these sorts of issues is Hugo Schwyzer–do you know/know of him? I can connect you guys on Facebook if you want to vent "man-to-man."
>Also, Kave, have you considered directing your brother towards disability rights blogs? I know it can be hard to reconcile with your experience, but he is oppressed in a lot of ways as person with disabilities. That could help channel some of his rightful angers at an ableist society, and curb some of his misdirected anger at women as a category; perhaps even prompting proper self-care and treatment? Sometimes not caring for one's disability is a purposeful form of self-harm, and no matter how hateful he is, he is still a human deserving of proper care (but you know that already 🙂 ).http://blobolobolob.blogspot.com/2010/05/blogging-against-disablism-day-2010.html
>@KaveYou're most welcome! When you treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated, sometimes it is returned in kind…funny that…I can't put it into words how wonderful it is to know that you are not alone in seeing how ludicrous all this is.Hey, if you want ludicrous, look no further than Peter Andrew: Nolan (think he even copyrighted his name, just in case, y'know, somebody has a death wish and wants to masquerade as him), the artist formerly known as Globalman. I think he has recently been allowed back at Spearhead, but I could be wrong.Anyhow, I think David has given me more than enough leeway to go off-topic in this thread, so I will not derail his topic any further. Thanks, David, for allowing the derail.
>Hahaha, is Nolan a sovereign citizen too?
>Hahaha, is Nolan a sovereign citizen too?Oh my, YES! And YOU can be, TOO!! Peter can help you…Try to make your way through his hefty Introduction and Overviewand then slide on over to grab some Scanned DocsBut remember, seeing as poor Peter had to work on a recapture for his strawman… I think it may have run off with the gingerbread man…and so Peter might end up in the wicker man. Don't let this happen to YOU!!
>OH MY GOSH!!!! THANK YOU for this Pam!Seriously, thank you, I need more of these forms so I can use them as part of a presentation.
>You're welcome! Here are some more sample docsThose are from the lawfulrebellion website, not Peter's.